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They headed over to the banquet table and approached Robert. Craig’s interruption seemed to be a welcome distraction for Robert’s listeners who scattered in different directions. Craig followed their retreat, dread filling him. Shit. All he could do was hope that Robert would behave enough to not embarrass the both of them. He was doing a bang-up job of embarrassing himself. He placed a hand on Robert’s arm. “Hey, I want you to meet someone. This is Jeremy. My best friend from growing up.”
Robert peered at Jeremy and scrunched his brows before his eyes shot wide, “Oh, the one you had your first kiss with. I remember now.” The heat from moments earlier crawled back up Craig’s neck and into his cheeks. He glanced at Jeremy, whose eyes widened as well. “Ok, so I told him about the kiss too.”
Both Jeremy and Andrew burst out laughing. Andrew extended his hand. “Hi, I’m Andrew Jamieson, Jeremy’s other half.”
Robert flashed his winning grin and extended his hand. “Robert Howell. A pleasure.” Robert held Andrew’s hand for a moment, surveying him with a scrutinizing expression. “You seem familiar. Have we met before?”
Andrew withdrew his hand, but maintained friendly eye contact. “I was thinking the same thing. Where do you work?”
“Goldman Sachs. I run the domestic trading floor.” Robert’s chest puffed out slightly.
Recognition flashed across Andrew’s face. “Ah yes, that’s where I’ve seen you. At The Bulls and Bears. I work at Fidelity. I guess we have more in common than boyfriends who kissed each other as kids.”
Robert’s smile widened. “You’re an investment banker? Interesting.”
“Well, I’m a portfolio manager actually. I prefer that line of the work.” Andrew’s smile remained pleasant and easy.
“Portfolio management is important work.” Robert began talking about his views on the connections between portfolio management, investment banking, and trading.
Both Jeremy and Craig turned to face each other, one glance telling both of them their boyfriends would be occupied for a while. Craig hooked Jeremy’s arm, the thrill of contact causing his blood to rush a bit faster through his veins. The simple act fed his fantasy of what he and Jeremy could have been. Just as quickly, he pushed the thought aside. He’s got a boyfriend. Don’t get your hopes up. “C’mon, we need to catch up. Let’s go find somewhere a little less crowded to talk.”
They walked over to a corner of the room, away from the hustle and bustle of the guests. Craig was the first to speak. “It’s strange that we’ve lived in the city for eight years and never run into one another.” He was digging, searching for any sign that Jeremy might reciprocate his feelings. Hope kept coming back. Maybe he isn’t happy with Andrew either.
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“It’s kind of unusual given that only one point-five million people live on the island. Odds were definitely in our favor to cross paths.”
“So you’re still a wise ass.” His spirit sank with Jeremy’s response. It was simple banter, something they had always done, but without any of the underlying pangs of desire. Craig placed an arm on Jeremy’s shoulder. Warmth radiated through the shirt as Craig’s hand brushed over muscle. “So what do you do when you aren’t coming to these parties?”
“I’m teaching second grade at a private school on the east side.”
“No shit. You always said you wanted to be a teacher.” Craig nodded in approval.
“Good for you. I never doubted you’d achieve whatever you set your mind to.”
“You remember I wanted to teach?” The surprise in Jeremy’s voice was unmistakable.
“Of course. You said you wanted to and I knew you would follow your dream. I bet you’re an amazing teacher. All your students must have crushes on you.” Craig witnessed several emotions pass over Jeremy’s face. He appeared thrilled, but the excitement seemed to fade into something more like sadness. “Did I say something wrong?”
Jeremy turned his amber gaze on Craig, causing his breath to catch. “No. I had forgotten anyone knew my childhood and could appreciate that I achieved my goals.”
Craig’s heart thumped at the deeper meaning in Jeremy’s comment. “You were my best friend. I paid attention to everything you said. Plus, you told me on a day I’ll never forget. That kiss cemented every detail into my mind.”
The flush pinking Jeremy’s cheeks caused Craig to laugh, but he never dropped his gaze. “How about you? You said you were going to do something creative. I guess you achieved your goals as well.” Jeremy glanced around the room at Craig’s artwork.
“Show me your work. I want a tour from the artist himself.”
Resisting the sudden impulse to take Jeremy’s hand, Craig followed Jeremy as he walked by the various pictures on display.
“These pictures remind me of home,” Jeremy said, a wistful note in his voice. “Like this one. The wooden beams are exactly like the ones in your kitchen. And this fireplace, the use of stone and the various shades of gray match the one from your front parlor, right?”
A mixture of happiness and regret filled Craig, and he had to work to keep himself held together. “I guess you have a good memory too. I enjoyed this job. My specialty is modern design, but Boris wanted me to make the designs softer and warmer.”
Craig surveyed the designs again, scrutinizing his work from Jeremy’s perspective.
He had used his home as motivation, but had not realized until now how similar his designs were to several of the features from growing up. He walked over to the picture of the house by the lake. “Jeremy, check this one out. Recognize anything?”
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Jeremy studied the picture. “It’s the Cape house.” He peered closer and his mouth fell open. “Is that…That’s The Love Tree!”
“Yup.” Craig walked up to the picture. “As best as I can remember it anyways. I know it wasn’t there, but I had to draw it anyway.”
Craig had been particularly nostalgic when he designed this scene. Each detail came to life in his mind as he had replayed moments from growing up with Jeremy…none more vivid than the kiss in the Love Tree. Somehow bringing together the two places he shared with Jeremy which held the most powerful meaning for him seemed a natural thing to do. He reached up to touch the tree. “I did the same thing you did.”
Jeremy looked at Craig. “What’s that?”
“I judged my first few boyfriends against you.”
Jeremy dropped his gaze. When he lifted his head, he wore a serious expression.
”It’s so good to see you again.”
Craig stared at the picture for a moment longer, before turning to Jeremy. He took a step forward, maintaining eye contact as he moved, and his foot caught on the floor causing him to trip. He would have smacked himself smartly on the ground if Jeremy hadn’t caught him. Jeremy’s arms wrapped around Craig, holding him until he steadied his feet on the ground. When he righted himself, Jeremy kept his hold around his waist.
Their eyes met and locked, Jeremy’s amber pools peering into his blues. For a brief moment, no more than a few seconds, they were back in the tree, nothing else existed.
Craig felt himself draw closer to Jeremy, his desire to seal their lips together filling his every thought. It seemed that Jeremy’s mouth drew closer to him as well, each of them breathing a bit more heavily.
Jeremy shook his head, breaking the moment, replacing the intensity on his face with a sheepish grin and a weak laugh. “Your balance has improved dramatically, I’m impressed. The flat floor would be tricky for anyone to navigate.” His laughter became stronger, helping to bring Craig out of his haze.
Craig smirked. “Fuck you.” Then he started laughing too, appreciating the release in the intensity of their reunion. “We better not let another fifteen years go by before we get together again.” Craig reached into his pocket, pulled out a business card, and wrote his cell number on the back. “Here, take this. Let’s grab dinner sometime soon and catch up.”
“I’d like that. Can you give me one of those cards?” Craig obliged, pulling another card from his pocket. Jeremy wrote his number on the back as well, and returned it to Craig. “Now we have each other’s numbers. I’m free any day next week.”
“Me too.”
Their conversation was interrupted by Boris who called for everyone’s attention. He stood at the podium. “I would like to thank each of you for coming tonight. I’m pleased to be able to show the work my company can do for you. Could we all take a moment to appreciate the bright, young designer who created the samples of work you have seen this evening? Craig Harper, please step forward.”
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Craig turned to Jeremy. “Well, guess I need to be shown off.” He gave Jeremy a quick hug, before heading for the podium. As he walked away, each step was harder to make than the last, taking him further away from Jeremy and their reunion.
* * * * *
“What’s that cologne? I love it.”
Craig pulled back, smiling. “Acqua Di Gio. It’s my favorite. They hugged once more, then Craig left with Robert.
Longing filled Jeremy as Craig walked away. All of his memories of their childhood flooded his mind. He had always been so happy with Craig, the boy. Now he was stunned by Craig, the man. He had grown into himself nicely. Light brown hair, slightly longer than his own and a bit disheveled, perfect for an artistic type. Pale skin, unblemished, the line of his features perfectly symmetrical. Those bright blue eyes he had admired as a child hadn’t aged, youthful excitement still evident in his confident gaze. And those plump lips, the ones he had nibbled seventy feet in the air. He had dreamed about kissing those lips, the soft press of them against his own, countless times over the years.
Jeremy was distracted from his thoughts by an uncomfortable tightening in his pants He shifted his hips, attempting to readjust himself without using his hands. Just thinking about him is giving me a hard-on.
Craig understood him. He should. They grew up together. You didn’t spend fifteen years with someone without knowing who he really was, deep down inside. What if things had been different…if I had never moved?
He tried to remember when he and Craig had lost touch. What the exact circumstances had been causing him to let such an important friendship slip through his fingers. Their kiss, the day before he left, had left him with a void when he and his family moved to Arizona. He had always loved Craig and for a year before he actually kissed him, had been aware of being in love with him. After he moved, he cried himself to sleep night after night; upset he had waited until the last possible moment to show his true feelings.
They called each other every week for the first year, but once a week became once every two weeks and then once a month. Each time they spoke, the void would return and he would fall into a depression, missing his best friend and wishing for what they never had a chance to have. He found when he didn’t call, he could focus on his new friends and his new life without the sadness and depression of yearning for his past. By 64
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the time he left for college, he only kept in touch around holidays, yet every contact still filled him with regret.
He had considered going to college back east, but with his parents divorced, money was tight. Going to Arizona State made more sense. Even if money hadn’t been tight, he would have avoided going home. Too much time had passed. He had allowed things to slip between them, dreading the feeling of emptiness which always filled him afterwards. And Craig had become more distant during the phone calls, as if he were pulling away. That hurt more than anything.
In college he focused on building new memories, making new friends. He didn’t have the courage to come out in high school. Surrounded by tons of gay people at Arizona State, he explored his sexuality and focused on his lifetime dream of becoming a teacher, distractions which kept him from thinking about Craig.
He had dated a few people, but he always thought of Craig whenever he kissed them. No one measured up and the sense of emptiness would return.
When he met Greg during his junior year, he finally fell in love with a person, rather than the idea someone could be to him what Craig had been. Greg helped him to let go of the hold the past had on him. They dated each other for the remainder of college, but when Jeremy moved to New York City, Greg remained in Arizona.
Jeremy didn’t want to begin a long term relationship, not after all the suffering he had already experienced once, so they broke up amicably, choosing to remain friends.
As he thought of Greg, he realized they never talked either. That’s not a good pattern.
Craig showing up in his life once again seemed like a second chance to reconnect to his past.
Yes, that’s what’s going on. I’m reclaiming something I lost. Craig reminded him of who he had been, a strong, confident person. There was no reason he couldn’t bring the past into his present, right? Andrew would understand. Jeremy’s heart gave a thump.