My Sister's a Yo Yo (7 page)

Eric saw Eppie and the yoyo coming towards his head and thought they were a tennis ball, so he got his racquet and swung it back and hit Eppie and the
yoyo as hard as he could with the best forehand shot he'd ever done.

Eppie and the yoyo flew higher and higher and higher and higher, back over the fence and past the school and over the wide black road one more time. They hit an overhead telegraph wire and fell down from the sky and in through the sunroof of a passing fast red sportscar.

“Plop” they landed in the back seat where a small fluffy white dog gave them both the most enormous sticky licks as they
drove on to the park. Then when the sportscar stopped at the park, the fluffy white dog grabbed Eppie and the yoyo in his teeth and leapt through the car window.

The blonde lady who had been driving the car got out as well, looked bug-eyed at her yappy fluffy dog and said in a high little voice that sounded like she was being sqeezed, ‘Oh my little sugar-poopsie-woopsie-doopsie-schnoops, what have you got there?'

And of course the dog didn't
answer (for a thousand reasons. Too many to mention.)

‘Give it to me,' the blonde woman said as she stood there in her ridiculously tight t-shirt and unnecessarily short skirt. ‘Give it to me and we'll play catch.' Then she picked up Eppie and the yoyo in her suntanned hand with her long purple fingernails and without looking carefully or even thinking for one moment threw Eppie and the yoyo as far as she could across the big wide park where they landed smack-bang in a huge muddy puddle.

Of course the small white dog and the suntanned blonde woman didn't want to get grubby, (not when looking crisp, blonde and groomed was really the only thing either had going for them) so they left Eppie and the yoyo in the mud.

Now Zeke, puffing like a sick kettle and sweating like cheese in the sun, saw Eppie and the yoyo lying there, and he crawled up to them exhausted. He picked up his yoyo and gave it a kiss, (making sure he didn't kiss his tangled sister, because then he'd get germs and his lips would fall off and well, you know — the usual), and he said, ‘Oh my darling yoyo it's so good to hold you again.' (Yes, I know what you're thinking, but that actually is what he said.)

Happy, Zeke started to walk back to school. He was completely content and grinning wildly at his yoyo and thinking of all the good times to come when suddenly a
big booming voice from behind said, ‘Hey you, I think I'll have that.'

It was Buster Wallace, the class bully. ‘I'll close my eyes and count to three,' he said. ‘Then you can put that yoyo in my cap and we'll all pretend nothing ever happened.'

Now, Zeke had been scared of his mother and the teacher and the big fat nurse and of course the lime green vomit, but nothing in the world scared him as much as Buster because, like all bullies, Buster Wallace was incredibly stupid and you couldn't explain a thing to him. (And bullies tend to hurt people when they don't get what they want.)

So Buster closed his eyes and counted to three and Zeke put Eppie and the yoyo in Buster's baseball cap. Then Buster put his cap on his head and ran back to school. Zeke chased him as fast as he could, but just when they got inside the gate, the bell rang for them to go into class.

Sitting at his desk, Zeke was terrified.

‘Please could I have my yoyo?' he whispered to Buster.

‘No.'

‘Please, I'll give you my swap cards,' said Zeke.

‘And?' said Buster.

‘And my favourite book.'

‘And …'

‘And my soccer ball.'

‘And?'

‘And my cricket bat, and brand new watch and my favourite shoes that glow in the dark.'

‘And?' said Buster, enjoying
himself immensely as he watched Zeke squirm. ‘You know I really want to give you your yoyo, but it'll take more than anything you've offered so far.'

‘I'll do your homework for the rest of your life.'

‘Yes, and what else?' Buster raised his eyebrows.

But Zeke couldn't think of anything else, so he sat there yoyoless and Eppie stayed with smelly stupid Buster and sobbed quietly in his cap.

Zeke heard Eppie sob and he felt sorry for her.

But he felt more sorry for himself.

Not only was he without a yoyo but their mum was going to kill him.

I mean, it's all very well to spend every single day of your life wishing your sister would get eaten by cannibals, but the reality is — well — well, the reality is that he sort of love — oops forget I ever said that, no he sort of liked—well no, he didn't like her, he — he —

Well the reality is that their mum was going to kill him if he didn't get his sister back.

‘I might give it to you at midnight tonight. That is, if you're good,' teased Buster. ‘I'll meet you in the cemetery by the the old crook's grave, and you can give me everything you own, and I'll give you your stupid yoyo.'

Zeke was scared to death, but he said, ‘No, I need it right now.'

‘Well, make an offer,' Buster grinned.

‘I can't, I've got nothing left.'

And then Zeke began crying softly at his desk, but he pretended he just had a cold.

For the first time in his entire life Zeke's afternoon passed too quickly. Zeke's mum would be here to collect them soon and there was no way he could try to pretend that Eppie had just gone to the toilet — not for the rest of her life.

‘Oh no,' he whimpered.

Then finally, late in the afternoon when the going home bell was about to ring, Zeke popped up with a brilliant idea. ‘I take back everything that I've offered so far,' he said to Buster in a strangely strong and sure voice. ‘I have something heaps better. I'll give you … I'll give you … I'll … I'll … I'll give you … I'll give you my father's private jet with its own computer games, swimming pool, motor bike, yoyo and racing car! But I can't give it to you until tomorrow. Is that okay with you?'

Buster paused for a moment, not wanting to look too keen, then he said very slowly, ‘Okay, it's a deal. I'll give you the yoyo now and get all those other things from you tomorrow.'

Under his breath Zeke said to himself,
Wow, lucky he's as thick as a brick, ‘cause I thought everybody everywhere knew that tomorrow never comes.