Slow Burn (11 page)

What to do about that?

She hadn’t the slightest clue how she felt about him, but
the day was much more palpable while they shopped. He bought her a light snack
and they had a decent dinner.

“You’ll need your strength for tonight.” He winked.

She ran a hand down his shoulder, trailing her fingers over
his bare forearms and feeling the definite spark when they touched.

Was that love?

She swallowed hard.

“What? You seem nervous.”

“I’ve never really been on the offensive before. Usually I
react, this sort of thing goes away when I either give in for minor crap, or I
put my foot down and threaten to kill them there.”

A brow shot up. “I can’t see you carrying out such a
threat.”

She leaned in. “Me either. But once a threat sees me doing
scary things with just my voice, they tend to turn tail and run.”

“I wish this group would.”

“Me, too.” She nodded. “How do you deal with it?”

“That’d be a question to ask Max. He’s the current spook,
not me.”

She nodded again, enjoying the feel of his hand in hers,
fingers interlocked. “But you left.”

“That’s right.” Derrick looked from left to right, his other
arm carrying a dress they’d picked out. This was a black number designed to
show off her luscious curves and match her hair, which would sadly be put up in
a bun tonight.

She noticed he didn’t elaborate, but her natural curiosity
and need for information required her to push the issue. “What—” She caught the
look in his eyes.

“Something went wrong. You’re going to find out what
eventually, but right now I can’t talk about it. Our parents died, which was
part of the reason Max and I joined the group he works for. Traveling around
the world and having to focus on a mission made it easier to forget the life we
could have had, had our parents not been involved in politics.”

“What did they do?”

“Mom was advocating for shifter rights. Dad was a
congressman. Both were in the wrong place at the wrong time.” Derrick’s energy
hummed sadness around her.

She snuggled closer while they walked.

“Spending time only on the mission as a focus kept Max and
me out of trouble.”

“I see.” She didn’t. Not really. He hadn’t given her any
inroads into his past or mental history, and every time she knocked at his
mind, the doors seemed to shut tighter. What made him afraid at night? “Do you
fear anything?”

“Just the screams that haunt me.”

“Yet you love death metal.”

“Odd ball, aren’t I?”

She laughed, feeling the energy coming from him lighten a
tad. “Screwy, aint you?”

“Something like that. The rhythm and heaviness of the music
lets me know I’m not alone in my agony and that while in certain instances it
seemingly goes on for a long time, it ends. The screaming stops. Sometimes,
it’s melodic. When the harmonies kick in, I’m happy, especially during a very
powerful bridge or chorus.”

“Like when the lyrics have meaning.”

“Exactly.”

Something dawned on her. If they were going out, what was it
he saw when they first met? She’d quickly shielded herself and put her mind in
check before rushing to his aid, but that nightmare in his head, had it been
his
or one of
hers
projected? She knew the sex they’d shared upon waking at
Max’s loft had been his answer to still her nerves when she woke and saw the
faces of those men she’d killed. Had he seen them, too?

“Listen, I need to know how bad the ghosts haunt you.”

Derrick stopped, met her gaze, and his eyes narrowed. Then
they widened, his lips formed a tight line. The air crackled around them with
the feel of something heavy, then it went away as though it never existed.
“They won’t be a problem.”

Weakly, she nodded. His quiet manner about his former life
would have put her off normally, but she knew when to let sleeping dogs lie.
He’d tell her soon enough if it became relevant.

She’d had bodyguards before and they all maintained the same
stoic, expressionless faces Derrick wore when he needed to have information
filtered to her, but his eyes betrayed him.

Well, the sparkle in them, the magic of his beast, rather,
betrayed him.

The puma was lonely.

It wasn’t hard to imagine why he’d fallen in love, just hard
to understand why it’d be with her.

Still, she was the one who sought him out, not the other way
around. It just so happened to work out this way.

Why?

“We should get going back to Max’s loft. It’ll take time to
get you dressed and I can’t watch that.” He gave her a wry smile.

She found herself laughing. “You’re bad.”

“I try.”

Yawning, she found it funny how careless she felt around him
right now. Maybe her mind was telling her something in all of this. Maybe while
she gave him a moment’s peace, she could steal one for herself, too, before
they had to split.

Chapter Six

Derrick wasn’t blind. Her entire manner around him looked
much less tense, and he even found her yawn sexy. Maybe it was time for a
little more relaxing before the big event tonight. Perhaps she could ease the
growing ache around his cock.

Watching her try on dresses had to be one of the most erotic
times he’d ever had while shopping. He enjoyed the simple pleasures in life,
hence his passion for cigars and fine alcohol, or listening to music regardless
of genre. But shopping normally drove him mad. Except when he got a wild hair
and slipped into the dressing room with her after she’d picked out a second
number and tried it on.

He had to give his opinion, naturally fueled by the sight of
her semi-naked. He had to remind himself every time she grimaced that this was
for her safety. He’d been asked to protect her, then the mission became a
bigger deal. And that wasn’t the half of it; they still hadn’t settled the
whole in-love issue yet. Her choice of dress indicated she was a far more
complex woman than she ever let on, and he really dug that. Every aspect of her
personality, right down to her stubborn streak seemed to gel with him.

He pushed the door open to Max’s loft, set the bags down
beside the door, and looked around, scenting the air for intruders.

Nothing.

Good sign.

“We could eat again if you’re hungry. Or just lay down for a
nap. All that shopping wore me out.”

She yawned again, rolling her head back, giving him a view
of the line of her neck. “I could use a nap.

“Or there are other ideas.”

“Later, big boy.” She patted his chest and sauntered past
him, heading for Max’s bed. Her hips swayed with promise of more later if
things went okay.

If not, well he didn’t plan to think that way. Only once had
he mistrusted his judgment—the one time that counted.

She’d asked earlier about his past and why he was no longer
a spy.

How do you tell the woman you’re protecting that you failed?
Sure, he’d said it when things went awry at the cigar lounge. But that wasn’t
really something he could predict. He’d only been given the two threats that
came a few days apart, threats even Max’s pals hadn’t seen. Warnings for her to
stop playing or face consequences.

He took those seriously but figured the threat was like most
things. Minor. Truly threatening people, shifter or otherwise didn’t spend a
lot of time playing games with warning notes that left no fingerprints. The
ones he’d dealt with hit hard and fast.

But to tell her his real failure? Scarier than when he’d
admitted to telling her his feelings for her.

Even Max knew he didn’t like to talk about it.

So he shrugged it off and left it alone, preferring to join
her on the bed.

She’d made herself comfortable, stretching out long legs
while resting her hands over her stomach.

Derrick slid beside her, rolled onto his side. “Hey.” He
looked at her.

“Hey.” She rolled her head to face him.

Trepidation poured off her in waves. Derrick stilled his
mind, pushed back all his fears from that earlier mistake, and calmed himself down.
Then he leaned over her, cupped her chin, and ran his thumb over her lips.

Sonja smiled and he took that as a positive sign. He pressed
his mouth to hers and tasted her, slowly savoring every bit of contact between
them. The sweetness from the Latin food earlier mingled with her natural spicy
aromas and lust. He inhaled her scent, flicked his tongue over her lips, and
nibbled.

She kissed him right back with as much of a slow burn as he
gave her, stoking the fire between them until both were panting.

He withdrew reluctantly and set a hand in hers. “It’s okay.
I’ll keep you safe. I promise.”

She didn’t seem to know what to say or do, so she shook her
head.

“You can’t shake off the fear, but I can fuck it out of
you.”

She laughed, slapped his hand. “Is that all you ever think
about?” She rolled her eyes. “Oh wait, you’re male. Of course.”

“Ever seen a cat in heat?”

She smirked, the curve of her mouth hardening him instantly.
“Yeah, I usually want to throw things at them.”

“You’re relaxed.”

Her eyes widened.

“Gotcha.” He poked her thigh.

Finally, she smiled, and it lifted his whole mood. She
clutched his hand tighter. “You do center me.”

He eased back and sighed. “I wondered about that. It’s no
coincidence when we touch, is it?”

“I don’t really know. Max makes me nervous, the others I’ve
met, friends of yours? I didn’t get a steady read on any of them, but with you
I at least feel as safe as I can be given the circumstances.”

“Erick is the truly powerful one. He’s been known to do
things…” Derrick closed his eyes, searching for the right words, then opened
them. “…beyond what we’re known to be capable of. But he’s a friend. Max makes
a lot of people nervous. He’s got his own ghosts to deal with, ones I feel bad
about.” His voice dropped and he closed his eyes, his shoulders tensing
visibly.

“Baby?”

“Hmm?”

“If you let me, I can help.”

He was supposed to be protecting her, not the other way
around. But what could it hurt to break the movie image she may have had of the
world of espionage? “Being a spy isn’t the wonderful thing people think it is.
Yes, it’s a lot of cool high tech gadgets and guns, but the problem is, there
are others with that same sort of technology and the same caliber of high
powered rifles trying to kill you for political gain. Even being a shifter
doesn’t help. Sure I can heal faster than you, but a bullet to the head is
death regardless of your make and model.”

“I’d never belittle that job.” By now she’d begun stroking
his thigh. He wasn’t blind to the calming energy coursing through him now,
coming in gentle waves. “Go on, please.” Her voice dropped again, almost to
bedroom-seduction level.

“Any of the demons Max acquired after I left…I should have
been there to protect him.”

“You can’t be everywhere at once.” Her voice took on a
lilting quality that made him look at her twice.

“Sonja, what are you—”

Her eyes widened, irises centered on his. “It’s my gift,
please. Let me?”

The rational part of his mind struggled with the ghost
attacking it right now. Max was the older brother, his life was just that. But
once Derrick left the game, he’d deserted everyone from the old life until
recently. Just then, did he feel almost normal?

There had been no debriefing, no gentle return to civilian
life. He simply turned in his resignation papers and walked out of the office.

No one stopped him. Of course, relations with the shifter
part of that agency were tense and still in development. As of now, they still
were. Distrustful humans.

“Protocol dictated that they arrest me, but apparently the
look on my face said otherwise.”

She arched an eyebrow.

“I half-shifted and walked out on the job. The last
mission…” No, he couldn’t go there.

Those gentle waves lapped at the gates surrounding his past.
Why he’d left, what happened, how many died that shouldn’t have, and who got
rich off the mission despite all the reasons for not going into that country.

Derrick closed his eyes. This woman was trying to help him.
Couldn’t the rational part of his mind see that? What then if he became free of
the nightmares that taunted him? Or emancipated from his personal hell?

“Why did you leave, baby?”

Her words wrapped themselves around his mind, blanketing the
mental wall he’d put up. They caressed his heart, stroking it like the softest
of silks, and still, Derrick couldn’t let go. Too much adrenaline pumped
through him, fear based on what would happen once he started talking.

“These ghosts are better left to rest.”

“Then let me put them to bed, Derrick. Please.”

He shook his head, struggled against the magic surrounding
him, and found his resolve weakening. He’d been trained to withstand a lot of
torture and pain in order to not sell out his country, his cause, his people,
but nothing had ever hit him like this.

Nothing ever made him face the true demon holding him back.

Inside, the puma paced anxiously back and forth across the
black plane harboring it. It struggled to roar but found itself voiceless.

“You’re not responsible for Max, baby. He’s a grown man.”

“But I didn’t stay to protect him.”

“You don’t have to. He’s very capable of protecting himself.
I promise.”

“How do you…” Fingers stroking his thigh brought him out of
the mental fog. Then he saw Sonja, watched her lean into him. She pressed her
mouth to his, kissed him once, twice, smiled into the third. And when they parted,
he felt something in his heart.

She eased back onto her side. “You’re fighting me too hard.”

“Even a witch—as lovely as you are—does not have infinite
power.”

“True. But we all must give in at some point.”

He nodded. What had she placed in him? He felt different,
like the weight lifted from his shoulders for just a moment.

The feeling didn’t seem to go away. He smiled. “I don’t know
what to say.”

She blinked. “This is what I do. I ease others with my
power.”

He remembered the last time she’d drawn a huge amount of
energy and how she reacted. Glad to meet him, yes. But the effects of all that
anger from the crowd, all that frustration had to wear her down. He took her
hand in his. “Won’t that affect you?”

Sonja shook her head and pursed her lips together. “It’s not
usually immediate. It should be, but I’m not picking up the normal amount of
trashed energy. I…it’s odd.”

She did this every night and people unknowingly paid for it.
They thought they were buying tickets to a show, and they were getting a show
all right. The power she wielded nightly must drain her. “You’ll never quit
performing, will you?”

She rolled onto her side and met his stare. “Maybe when I’m
dead. Otherwise, any man in my life, if there ever comes a point when I can
settle down, had better understand music is my passion. I can’t thrive without
it. Plus, what good is my power if I can’t use it to help the world ease its
suffering?”

His heart sank. He’d never ask her to quit performing, her
band was good and she was outstanding. Plus, the secret of her success had a
lot to do with her power helping others. But she’d just admitted to not being
ready for a relationship. Why that hurt him was beyond him, but he still felt a
blow to his chest. “You make a good point. You have a good heart, Sonja.”

“Thank you.” Again, she gave his hand a gentle squeeze.

Before she picked up his disappointment, Derrick shut the
door on that thought, looked at the clock, then back at the ceiling. Max would
probably be home soon and they had at least an hour and a half, might as well
relax. “Rest, babe. It’s going to be an interesting night.”

She rolled onto her other side and settled in against his
body.

He wrapped an arm around her and promised silently that no
matter what, he’d keep her safe. Then he heard the gentle sounds of her deep
breathing as she fell asleep.

Good. He wondered if it had been the first time in a while
that she fell quickly into a slumber.

It didn’t matter. Only protecting her right now did. If
there was time later, he’d ask those questions. If she was going to pick up the
crap he carried, she’d need to rest, because what she tried to pull from him
should cause quite a problem. Again, he pondered the possibility of being a
filter for her, how the centering helped when they touched. At least that was
immediate. But for now, she needed to rest in probably the safest place in the
country. He’d lay with the woman who found a way into his heart, despite the
reality of them not being able to be together.

* * *

Sonja stepped through the doors into the club with Derrick
on her arm. All black suited him. The fedora pulled down low over his head hid
deep purple eyes. He’d shaved and the look emphasized his masculine jawline.
The suit fit him perfectly. Heels clicked along a marble floor.

Bodies swayed to the thunderously annoying beat of techno.
Sonja thought she’d retch, but Derrick kept his arm around her as he guided her
through the club. The monumental amount of humans and shifters that came to
these annoying clubs surprised her. Fake music; crappy, repetitive lyrics; and
the shallow crowd made her squirm.

Derrick’s hand pressed at the small of her back, heat ran
through her. She turned and met his gaze. “The dress looks beautiful on you.”

She scoffed. The dress made her feel more exposed. “I hate
it.”

“'At least it’s black.” He offered a smile that held more
than kindness.

After shopping all day, she’d been forced to settle on
something black, sleek, revealing, and sexy. She had no problem showing off
ample cleavage, but she didn’t like the feeling of openness that the material
gave her.

Jeans and leather made her feel more protected, and they
provided more cover against people’s emotions. With Derrick here, she felt
somewhat safer despite her reservations over clothing choice. She kept waiting
for the blast of his mental issues from the stunt she’d pulled earlier to hit
her with full force, but it hadn’t so far. Their relationship was growing odd;
that was for sure. At least the protective spell she placed around his heart
would let her keep tabs on him once this was all over and they went their
separate directions.

But still, the openness made her think of how vulnerable she
was.

Especially with Derrick running his fingers along her naked
skin. The move sent shivers up her spine.

With red locks pulled back and piled atop her head, loose
curls fell around her face, framing it. Dark purple lipstick contrasted against
her pale skin and the eyeliner she wore gave her an exotic look. Long eyelashes
fluttered when she blinked.