Slow Burn (14 page)

“I’m going into the bathroom. I need to get dressed and get
away from the male dominance bullshit here. I don’t tolerate it with my band
and I won’t take it from either of you.” She pointed a finger at Max. She
shoved her way past Derrick, aware that his heated gaze remained glued to her.
She couldn’t help the swish of her hair over the top of her hips as she walked,
either. “Dammit.”

She reached the bathroom and slammed the door. She’d sort
out her feelings and this situation better while alone. Then she’d make a
decision.

Sonja set her hands on the counter and looked down into the
black sink. She lifted her head to the mirror, saw her image, and huffed. What
was she supposed to do with two alpha male pumas giving her shit and trying to
run her life for her?

It didn’t matter that Max was Intel, or a spy. Or whatever
he was. He wasn’t a witch. He didn’t know the dangers she faced in using her
power nor the responsibilities that came with it. For that matter, neither did
Derrick. Neither of them could understand, not truly.

And she didn’t even know the whole story about Derrick, so
why should he help her?

Oh right, the poor boy wore his heart on his sleeve.

Her head fell down, hair over her face in one long wet
blanket. It hadn’t dried yet from the shower she’d taken earlier. Well, shower
was a funny word since Derrick’s meddling interrupted her earlier.

Sadly, she couldn’t stop him from doing so. After her last
mistake with magic and her voice, she needed that balance he provided. Granted,
she’d only killed no more than maybe six men, but it didn’t matter. She had
more blood on her hands.

Sonja looked at her hands, knew they were clean, pale like
the rest of her skin.

Figures, even the imagery of blood-soaked digits, wouldn’t
appear in her head. That had to be Derrick’s doing. He’d cleansed her too well.
Dammit.

She sighed and stared at herself again. In her late
twenties, she stood around five foot four but still felt tall. Well, until she
met Derrick anyway. He had a way of making her feel girly.

But the look on his face when he hovered above her and
drilled himself into her, the puma. Had she imagined it? The shape of his eyes
changed, becoming more catlike. But he didn’t actually change above her.

Did it mean anything? Did it matter?

She couldn’t have a mate. Not if she couldn’t get her shit
together and protect him from her. And what about her responsibilities to her
band? Would Derrick understand those? How would the band react to him being a
part of her life? He said he’d never take her from her music but the way he and
Max were trying to run her life earlier made her think otherwise. Men like him
had a bad habit of saying one thing while doing another, and the controlling
nature of shifters was something she could certainly do without.

Her band’s reaction to him would matter. That was the family
she worked with and played with, the family she could count on. They already
had enough weird shit to deal with considering how they opened shows with glass
breaking, then repairing itself. The trick she started as part of their opening
did a few things, mainly it pulled the audience’s attention to one central
focal point and made them easier to control. Her band grew accustomed to the
trick but she still felt their trepidation whenever she used light magic to
make the bottle repair itself.

Then there were the tabloids. She hadn’t even considered
that before now. Of course, she usually ignored those rags, they always printed
exaggerations and outrageous lies anyway.

As for her audience? Sometimes she had to do the things to
them that she did. They were dangerous otherwise. The human mind was a
conundrum that modern medicine attempted to fix with drugs. Mostly, the kids
coming to her shows needed an emotional outlet, not drugs.

The shifters that attended felt the same way, only with more
amplified feelings. So it drained her more to deal with them, but it didn’t
matter. She did right in this world.

Except she hadn’t felt drained in dealing with Derrick,
other than that one time.

Why?

She needed to talk to Rob. He might know what to do at this
point. No one had come after him so far.

Sonja clenched her fists and wanted to scream at the mirror.
It’d do no good and Derrick would probably come rushing in anyway.

In the few days she’d been around him, she felt a strange
feeling. In the darkness of her soul, she enjoyed the tranquility he inspired.
It kept her stable and made her wonder if she could believe in miracles and
hope.

She sighed again.

Rob had said fate would put them together. Had he actually
known about her desire to be with Derrick, at least sexually? Or was she simply
overreacting due to all the stress?

She had no idea. Dread settled in the pit of her stomach
when she thought back about her brother’s mysterious behavior. He never brought
groupies or fan boys back to her when she played at his bar. He’d given her
private quarters and because of her status and his paranoia, her dressing space
had been even more remote than the rest of the band’s. She sighed, hating how
segregated she felt sometimes from the special treatment, but her band claimed
to understand. She hoped so.

Rob couldn’t read minds. It just wasn’t possible. But then,
staring into the mirror and realizing that she felt emotions and could do what
she could do, she knew the truth about her brother. His power may be slipping,
but that didn’t mean he still wasn’t a force in his own right.

When she saw Derrick after the show, it only confirmed what
she knew.

They were going to be mated.

She stared hard into the mirror. “Fuck!”

Chapter Eight

“Goddammit, man!” Derrick paced back and forth along the
concrete floor. The woman he believed his heart wanted had just stormed off
into the bathroom in a typical female gesture. And because of his and Max’s
behavior, she had every right.

“You’re not going to order her back, are you?” Max crossed
one leg over the other. He resigned to the makeshift living room area against
one wall where a soft brown leather recliner sat.

“No, she has a right. We’re running her life. I never signed
up for that.”

“No.” Max leaned forward. “You didn’t. Control was a strong
suit of yours but never one you wanted was it?”

Derrick stiffened but said nothing. How could Max even ask
that?

“That’s why you left. They wanted to make you alpha and—”

Derrick glared at the other puma. He clenched his teeth and
went into the kitchen. “Shut up, Max.”

“You could have been good for our pack and for the
organization.”

Max’s monotonous voice irritated Derrick further. He ignored
it and searched for an old-fashioned glass. Finding one, he picked up the
bottle of whiskey and poured himself a drink.

“Face it. Not only do you want her, but you want to alienate
the rest of your family.”

“Fuck off, Max.” Derrick took a sip of whiskey, letting the
caramel and oak burn his throat. Then he took another. The booze would loosen
up his nerves just a touch and give him a little distance. Max didn’t need to
bother with Derrick’s demons, they were his to deal with on his own time. He
couldn’t put that weight on Max, not the regret, the sorrow, the desire to beg
forgiveness from any of the survivors or the relatives of those he’d been
ordered to mow down and eliminate. He couldn’t face them.

Didn’t want Max to deal with it, either.

If he had to guess, Sonja probably picked up all of the shit
he felt now. Confusion at his and her behavior mounted with the fact that Max
wasn’t letting go of the family issue.

“We would have helped you.”

“Goddammit, Max.” Derrick slammed the glass down against the
counter. “Pumas are lone creatures by nature. We don’t help others, we don’t
even bother with other species except to hunt, fuck, and kill. That’s all we
do.”

“But we don’t have to resign ourselves to our animal nature.
We’re above that. Don’t you get it? Even in your behavior, you’ve mimicked
humans. Just like I have.” He waved his cigar around for emphasis. “We’re not
solitary in this world. There are too many people, too many things, man. We
have no choice but to get along with them. Yes, we can blend in and hide. That
only gets us so far until someone figures out what we are, then they hunt or
kill us out of fear. We’re still required to play our part in all of this and
that means accepting life as ours.”

Max should talk. He ran from the one woman in his life that
could stand up to him and be his equal in every aspect, even though she was a
mere human. He started to respond, but stopped himself. Instead, he looked at
Max, saw the dead set expression on his face.

“We have choices we can make, Derrick. We always have. I
chose to let go of the shit you’re holding on to from our last op together.
People died, it was our fault.”

“No! You just told me we had choices and we could have
chosen to walk away—”

“And what, let the dictator abuse those people more? Let her
use the children for the slave trade? Do you really feel good about that? Would
you have felt good knowing drugs were smuggled into this country in the stiffs
of the bodies sent back since that warlord had at least the appearance of
decency?” He pointed at Derrick. “Would you have relished that, instead of the
decision we made?”

“There had to be another fucking way.”

Max shook his head, took a puff off the nub-sized cigar in
his fingers, and set it in the ashtray beside him. He rested one elbow in his
other hand and pinned Derrick with his stare. “Man, even your lover is no god.”

“She’s not my lover,” he grumbled, but knew the words were a
lie. Of course, they were lovers—just the fucked-up kind.

“You sure about that? Because Sonja’s in my bathroom.” He
shoved his thumb into Derrick’s chest for emphasis. “Choosing a life the same
way you and I have.” He got up and cleared the distance. “Are you going to let
her exclude you?”

“I can’t stop her! It’s her life.”

Max’s voice remained neutral. “No, not entirely. Don’t you
remember what Erick said earlier?”

Derrick inhaled sharply. The enigmatic elder puma in their
local area had a lot of pull when it came to making things happen. No one
really knew how old Erick was, but markings on his face and fur hinted at an
age much older than he should be. “How could I forget? That guy has always been
creepy and elusive.”

Max nodded. “But he’s never led us astray. So you must be
cautious and let her into your world.”

“Easier said than done if you keep making choices for us.”

“Look man, if you don’t choose first, then they’ll choose
for her. And I already see the look on your face. You’re smitten with this one.
I’m at least just doing my job.”

Derrick took another sip of his whiskey and chose not to
respond. If he did, he’d confirm what Max had stated. Or he’d punch him. Max
wasn’t just doing his job; he had his own agenda with the agency and the
shifters running ops, and he planned to push it at every chance.

His body posture probably spoke for him anyway. The other
puma had spent a great deal of time acquiring knowledge on the human psyche.
Pumas weren’t that different.

Derrick was no submissive, but he didn’t want leadership
either. He was content with faking a solitary human existence.

Except that the mere mention of Sonja made his heart race
and he didn’t know why, other than perhaps the fact that she’d spent so much
time in close quarters with him over the last few days.

That had to be it.

Then he realized that Sonja had already pinned him for
pining after her the first time they slept together. “Fuck.”

“Fuck indeed. How does the inner beast feel about her?
You’re both equally enthralled.”

“Can’t it just be her voice and magic?”

“You mean calling to you like she is using power on you?
Hardly. I’ve seen enough of her performances online to know she’s not that
type. If you paid more attention to your natural instincts, you’d realize that
the puma inside you is probably drawn to her.”

Derrick spoke dryly. “I haven’t been laid in a long time.”

“That doesn’t matter. You’ve always been picky. But Erick
said this one is special and you really need to heed that, brother.”

Derrick stiffened at that title. He hadn’t been a brother to
anyone in years. Not since he left the pride after the death of their parents.

By chance, he’d run into Max, his older brother, while
visiting his favorite cigar lounge in California. The two had picked up
conversation as though there had never been that ten years of separation.

There had never been animosity. Only sadness from all the
shit Derrick couldn’t handle properly at the age when he left home. Derrick
grew tired of having to be the one to do everything. Responsibility had been
thrown on his shoulders, and sadly, none of it could be helped because at the
time of their parents’ deaths, Max had been in the hospital for an injury he’d
acquired during some black ops mission.

The bathroom door opened and in the doorway stood Sonja,
unashamedly topless. The towel that hung off her luscious hips drew Derrick’s
eyes there first, until they traveled up to her face. She pinned Derrick’s gaze
with one of her own, an angry scowl across her face. “Come get me?”

Derrick started for her, unable to think rationally with her
standing hips tilted slightly to one side, arms raised on the doorframe. Her
hair hung down in long streams of red, covering her breasts and emphasizing her
pale skin. Plump lips formed a straight, angry line.

He reached her, settled his hands on her hips, and his body
hardened instantly.

She tilted her head, still scowling at him.

Derrick glared over his shoulder at Max. “He didn’t mean it
like that. I’d never—”

She held up a hand. “Stuff it, cat. I know you’d never do
that. It’s all over your aura, along with your obvious lust.”

“You do inspire that.” He nudged her hips with his.

She sighed and slanted her head in the other direction. “But
we have other business to tend to. Does your
brother
have any ideas
about how we’re going to accomplish our goal?”

“As long as we’re on the same side.” Derrick wanted to cover
her with the rest of the towel and keep her naked body from Max’s view, but it
wasn’t like pumas didn’t walk around naked on a regular basis. Many were more
comfortable with being closer to the true nature of their species.

Living among humans had flawed his mind slightly.

Not like he hadn’t allowed it.

“Yes.” She sighed, and the scowl from her face disappeared.
She frowned now. “We’re on the same side.”

Derrick cupped her chin and lifted her eyes. The depth of
her emotions swam in the pools of her blue-silver irises. “You act as though
it’s a bad thing.” She stiffened beneath his touch.

“No, it’s not that.” She looked away. “It’s all the damage
and death I cause. The fact is that in my voice, with the power I hold, I can
convince the crowd to do what I want. But I suffer in the end for it,
regardless of the outcome.”

“You can control that. I can…” He took her hand and
flattened it against his chest. “…help you.”

Her eyes widened. “No!”

Behind them, Max coughed. “Yes, actually. I’m afraid that
for us to go forward, we’ll need you to cooperate with each other. Derrick will
lead.”

Derrick shuddered and his jaw ticked. He’d do this against
his will for Sonja because protecting her was the right thing to do. Because in
the end, his brother—hypocritical with his own love life as he was—had a valid
point. Derrick’s heart had become involved, which for a spy, even an ex, was
dangerous.

An eyebrow lifted. Sonja’s expression softened. “Puma?”

The way she said that one word spoke directly to the beast
seeking control and leadership, not the man avoiding what he didn’t want.
“Yeah, fine.”

“I’ll remember that trigger,” she mouthed and her lips
curled up in a grin.

Damned if she didn’t look sexy standing before him with that
cocky grin on her face. Derrick gritted his teeth and let out a hiss.

Max continued. “You’ll set it up. We should be receiving a
call sometime soon from our new friend on the phone I picked up for Derrick.
He’ll give us the location and details. Until then, you both wait and rest.”

Derrick turned and stared at Max. “Where are you going?”

Max stroked the dark hair of his goatee and smiled. “I have
some errands to run.” He winked and set his cigar on the ashtray. “You two have
access to cash, use Derrick’s new credit card. And your new ID, Derrick, if you
need to go out. Otherwise, I have food, tobacco, and alcohol here. Call me as
soon as you hear from your unnamed contact.”

Before Derrick could reply, Max grabbed his keys and cell,
and slipped them into his pocket. “Keep a close eye on each other.”

Behind him, Sonja made an unladylike noise.

The large door opened and Max left, slamming it shut. It
echoed with seeming finality.

“I should get dressed.”

Sonja’s voice cut through the silence left after the door
shut. Derrick turned around to face her full on. “I’d rather you didn’t.”

“I know.” She lowered her hands to her sides, gripping the
towel. “But we can’t have sex until this stupid asshole bear calls, supposing
he will call.”

“First off…” Derrick gave her a wicked grin. “Why not? And
second, he’ll call.”

Another brow arched up. “How do you know?”

That bear, Slovich, was notorious for revenge. He hated
being bossed around or threatened. And considering he thought Derrick, aka
Tommy Derringer, was dead, had supposedly seen the death with his own eyes,
he’d call. “I know his type. They’re always afraid, always watching their
backs. What we did, what you instigated—”

She punched a finger into his chest. “What
you
instigated.”

He held up a hand. “What you would have done had I not
intervened…” He paused. She said nothing but frowned harder at him. “…was get
information from him. He’s going to want to know who we are, how we found out
that things went down as they did, who set him up. He looked like he had money
and he was pretty pissed that we interrupted their little party.”

She nodded. “That he did. I bet you upset the little tramp
standing off in the wings, too.”

“Oh you noticed her, too, hmm?” Derrick crossed his arms
over his chest.

Sonja licked her lips. “If I were more inclined and less
annoyed by their choice of clubs, I might have made a pass at her. And taken
her from the bear.”

Derrick chuckled. “You have spunk.”

“I have to. In my business, I don’t have a choice. If I act
too dead and Gothy, the kids think I’m fucking emo. If I act too serious, the
message gets lost. So balance is the key, and in that balance is my ability to
punch things up with my personality.”

“No one would ever say you were boring.”

“I didn’t hear you complaining.” She offered a wry grin that
had his heart beating a little faster and his cock hardening.

Derrick stepped closer, took her hands in his. “Why can’t we
make love again?”

Nonchalantly, she shrugged. “When did we make love the first
time?”

“Ouch.” He winced for show. “You’ve got a sharp tongue,
too.”

“I know. It’s—”

“A self-defense mechanism. I know.”

“Humans use them to hide mistakes. What do shifters use them
for?”

Flinching, Derrick shook his head. He needed to keep this
light if he was planning on slaking their mutual lust for the sake of having
sex, rather than the urgency of healing her. “I don’t know what you’re talking
about.”