The Certainty of Deception (13 page)

“Don’t tell Lindsey.  She thinks I quit ages ago.”

I nodded.  “Your secret’s safe with me.” 

Bill leaned against a wooden column, taking another drag.  The way he held the cigarette between his fingers and the deep inhalation he managed with each drag told me he was a pro.  The only time I’d smoked that hard was in my college days, and it wasn’t tobacco that I was smoking. 

I balanced myself against the opposite post, and stared out toward the rippling water.  Fear, more like agony, shook me to the core.  I hated the idea that I might’ve disappointed Bill.  He’d accepted me into his home, knowing that McKenzie and I were at odds.  And for me to step out of his house to answer Olivia’s call, even at McKenzie’s bidding, seemed like a slap to his generosity.

“I guess that was Olivia?” he asked, flicking the ash from his cigarette.

“Unfortunately.”

“Mhm.”  He took another deep drag.  The mix of the smoke that left his lungs against the pure sky seemed in contrast of each other.  I put the cigarette back to my lips, breathing in deep.  It was easier to handle this time.

“It’s not what you think, Bill.”

“And exactly what is it that I think?”

I flicked the cigarette a few times, watching the embers turn to ash.  “You think I’m playing on your daughter’s affections.”

“If I thought that, do you believe I would’ve not only invited you into my home, but suggest that you join me and my family tomorrow?”

He had me there.  “No, sir.”  Taking another puff from my cigarette, I watched the gray fumes cloud the air around me as they expelled from my lungs.  Nicotine coursed through my veins, making me feel dizzy and a little nauseated.

  Bill tapped the flame of his cigarette out on the post and tossed it in a flower pot.  “So, answer me this.  How do you plan on fixing this mess, Son?”

Unable to finish mine, I mimicked his actions and threw the cigarette away.  I swallowed, trying to alleviate the pit in my stomach.  “I don’t know, sir, but what I do know is I can’t continue to live without her.  Mickie is my heart.”

Lifting his ball cap, Bill rubbed the top of his balding head.  “That’s a start.  Why’d it take you so long to come get her?”

“Bad advice,” I sneered.

Bill’s head fell forward in laughter.  “Actually, it was good advice, but the flowers were a nice touch though.”

I clapped my hands against my thighs.  “Does everyone know I sent her flowers?”

He slapped me on the shoulder.  “It doesn’t take being a rocket scientist to figure that one out.”

I sighed, glancing at the man I admired.  It was in that moment I realized he wasn’t there for his daughter alone.  He was trying to protect me as well.  The man in him, the father in him, couldn’t allow either one of us to be hurt.

“What am I going to do?” I asked.

Bill squeezed my shoulder tight.  “I wish I knew.  Can I ask you a question?”  I nodded, fearing what he was about to ask.  “Is the baby yours?”

“Unless a test proves otherwise, I’m the father.  But I’ve got to get her to take the test first.”  I rushed my fingers through my hair, seeing Bill’s jaw tighten. 

“And when will that happen?”

“I
fucking
wish I knew.”  Oops.  I didn’t mean for that word to slip out.  I clamped my mouth shut, searching for something to say.  Here I was trying to be open and honest, even trying to make some sort of impression on Bill, and I go and drop the F-bomb. 

Brilliant, Wise.  Just brilliant!

Bill acted as though I hadn’t anything out of the ordinary.  “I see.”

“No, you don’t see, sir,” I declared.  I turned to Bill.  “I have no reason to disbelieve Olivia
, except for my need to disprove that this baby could be mine.  I need it to not be mine, and if I can’t get her to take the test before the baby is born -” my words trailed off.  There was no easy way to say that my father was hounding me about Olivia.  That I was basically the black sheep of the family.  That being around Olivia, seeing the sonograms, and going to all of the appointments sent me into a constant panic attack. 

I took in a deep breath, feeling the burning from the cigarette lingering in my lungs.  “No matter what a test shows, the truth is, it doesn’t change how I feel about Mickie.  I’ve loved her since the first time I saw her.  I didn’t even know her name, and I loved her, sir.  That has to account for something.  Doesn’t it?”  A tremulous note hung in my voice.

Bill placed both hands on my shoulders.  His eyes crinkled as he analyzed me.  “It does, but sadly, sometimes love isn’t enough.”

“I can’t believe that.  We were right there.  Almost happy.  If Olivia hadn’t dropped the bomb on us the way she did, we were going to tell her everything.  We were going to be happy together.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, McKenzie couldn’t keep hiding our relationship from Olivia, and truthfully, neither could I.  We arranged the meeting with Olivia that night to be honest with her.”

Bill’s eyes narrowed.  “You’re saying Mickie was going to allow herself to be happy, even if it might hurt Olivia?  Are you sure?”

I shoved my hands in my pockets, shrugging my shoulders.  “I’m positive.”

Bill pursed his lips.  His head bobbed in a continuous nod, but said nothing.

“I knew it would hurt Mickie, facing Olivia like that, but we deserved to be happy, even if it hurt Olivia.  We did nothing wrong.  I never loved Olivia, and I ended things with her long before I pursued McKenzie.  I know what it’s like to be cheated on.  No matter what I feel for Olivia, I could never put anyone through that kind of hell.  Not even her.”

I’d never admitted that to anyone outside my family before.  There were two major tragedies in my past.  The worst was the loss of my daughter.  No parent should ever be forced to face the death of a child.  It’s the cruelest act of nature.  The second was discovering that my daughter’s mother had cheated on me.  I knew the agony of a cheating lover, the ache of deceit that lingered long after the relationship had dissolved, and how hard it was to open up to someone again.  It was for that reason I refused to pursue McKenzie while I was still with Olivia. 

“That’s admirable, son, but say your plan works out this weekend, and McKenzie does take you back.  Then what?  What happens next?  It doesn’t change the fact that Olivia is still pregnant, and that leaves Mickie in a very difficult situation.”

“It leaves us both in one.  I love your daughter, Bill.  That won’t change.  But if the child is in fact mine, I will do the honorable thing and be the best father I can be.”

A prideful smile curved Bill’s lips.  “Your father raised you well.”

I laughed.  I couldn’t help it.  If this man only knew my father, he’d think differently.  “My father would disagree with you.  He believes I’m a screw-up and wants me to marry Olivia.”

“That’s a little old fashioned, but I see where he’s comin’ from.”

“No.  I refuse.  It wouldn’t be fair to anyone involved.”

Bill patted me on the back.  “I wasn’t suggesting that you should.  I simply said I understand your father’s intentions.”

I could believe that coming from him.  There was nothing in his tone that suggested he was stating anything but the truth. 

“Drew, I have one more question for you.  What happens if Mick doesn’t want you back?  What will you do then?”

I froze.  That thought hadn’t occurred to me.  I’d been so set on riding in on my gallant horse and being her knight in shining armor that I allowed the fairytale to sweep me away without a second thought to reality.  I swallowed down the metallic liquid pooling on my tongue.  Clenching my hands in my pockets, I met Bill’s eyes.  “Then I’d let her go.”

“Just like that.  No fight.  You’d just let her go?”

“Bill, my coming here
is
fighting for her.  If she chooses to let me go, I
will
leave.  But I will leave with my head held high knowing that I gave it my all.”

Bill studied me for an impregnated moment.  His eyes appeared ghostly blue in the moonlight, but there was a discerning truth behind them that I admired.  “That’s all I needed to know.  I’m not gonna tell you this’ll be easy.  My daughter is stubborn like her mother.  Especially when she’s hurt.  But if you can pull her out of her shell then you have my blessing.  God help ya, son, because you’re gonna need it.”  He patted my back, laughing.

“Really?  You give me your blessing?”  The thought seemed preposterous to me.  If my daughter ran away from a guy, I’d want to rip his balls off and feed them to him. 

I seriously need to lay off the ball ripping,
I mused within myself.  “Are you sure you don’t want to shoot me?” I questioned.

Bill’s forehead wrinkled and deep lines appeared around his mouth, as he burst into laughter.  “Drew, if I’d wanted to shoot you, I could’ve done it back at the shop.”

The sliding glass door opened.  Light from the kitchen flooded the backyard, and standing in the glow was McKenzie.  “Everything all right out here?”  A deep southern twang filled her voice, sending delightful waves of desire coursing through my veins.  I’d swear her accent had thickened since coming back to Texas, and I loved it.

“Yeah, Mick, everything’s fine.  Just showin’ Drew the work I’ve done to the yard.”

“Mhm,” she hummed.  Her eyes darted between us, as she closed the sliding door.  “So, if I check the flower pot, I’m not going to find cigarette butts?”

Bill laughed, wrapping his arm around her shoulders and pressed his lips to her temple.  A soft blush colored her cheeks, visible in the pale light.  I envied Mickie’s connection with her father.  I didn’t know what that kind of devotion felt like.  In the presence of my father, all I ever felt was inferior. 

Feeling as though I was an intruder on their father-daughter moment, I put some distance between us, walking to the mouth of the pool.  The two of them shared a soft laugh and then the sliding door opened and closed again.  I was alone.

Or so I thought.

“Nice night,” McKenzie mused, as she stepped up next to me.  In this close proximity, the heat of her skin overpowered the warmth of the evening.  My head felt fuzzy.  It could’ve been caused by the cigarette, but I knew she was the reason.  Nothing seemed clear to me.  This felt like a dream.

I shifted my balance from one foot to the other, moving my gaze to the night sky.  “Beautiful.  I don’t think I’ve ever seen stars shine so clear.”

“That’s Texas for ya.”

“I miss the beach though.”

“Me too,” she admitted. 

“Is that all you miss about Florida?”  I had to know.  She said on the phone she missed me, but it wasn’t the same as being in this place, at this moment.  I wanted to see her expression as she confessed to missing me.

She wrapped her fingers around my wrist.  “The beach is one of many things I miss about home.”

I turned her to face me.  We both stood so close to the mouth of the pool that one wrong move and we’d fall over the edge.  She dropped her gaze, refusing to meet my eyes.  That wasn’t going to work for me.  I needed to be able to see into her soul.  I placed my finger and thumb at her chin, tilting her head up, forcing her to look at me.  Her breathing increased as it had every
other time we found ourselves in close proximity like this.  A gust of wind ruffled her hair about her face.  With both hands, I cupped her face, pushing her hair away to peer into those heavenly eyes.

Slowly, my face moved toward hers.  We were two magnets being drawn together.  Her tongue darted out of her mouth, lingering on her smooth lips.  Inch by inch, I moved in to kiss her.  My mouth barely met hers before she pulled away.  “Andy, no,” she rasped, placing her hands on my chest. 

My heart sank in my chest.  I felt frozen in place, confused and hurt by her once again pulling away from me.  “Why not?”

She stood, unmoving, contemplating her answer carefully.  “Because...because,” she stammered. 

My eyes widened, as I leaned forward in anticipation of her answer.  “Yes?” I drew out the word.

“Because,”
she curled her fingers against my chest; a mischievous smirk expanded over her lips, “this.”  And that’s when she pushed me over the edge.

From the bottom of the pool, I could see McKenzie hanging over the edge.  The water rippled around me, distorting her figure.  I came up out of the depths, gulping down air.  Chlorine burned my eyes.  “That’s what you get for making fun of my accent,” she chortled.

I swiped hands over my face and head, spitting the remainder of water from my mouth.  “I didn’t make fun of you!”

She leaned forward a little closer with a smug expression on her face and her hands on her hips.  “You mocked me,” she noted in a sardonic tone.  “And I told you, I’m on home court.  Don’t mess with me.”

I waded to the edge of the pool where McKenzie stood.  Shadows danced over her slender figure.  My eyes drifted up her sleek legs to the curve of her waist.  “Hey, Mickie.”

She cocked her head to the side, fixing me with a precarious stare.  “Yeah?”

“You remember what happened the last time one of us was thrown into water?”  Pressing my hands against the flat stone that surrounded the mouth of the pool, I lifted my body out of the water just enough to grab her.  I pushed my feet against the wall, flinging her into the depths with me. 

“Agh!”  Her scream turned into a gurgle by the splash of water crashing over us. 

I floated back to the surface, laughing.  Mickie emerged from the depths of the water, her arms flailing about her, sputtering.  She whipped her hair back from her face.  “Andy!” 

“You started it,” I claimed, feigning innocence.

“Uh, no.  You did!” Cupping her hands, she scooped up water and flung it in my face. 

“Oh!  This means war!” I yelled.  My arms spread as far as my reach would allow, as I created a tidal wave, sending it right at her. 

McKenzie reciprocated, which lead to us flinging water back and forth, squealing and laughing in the process.  How much water actually made my mark, I wasn’t sure, nor did I really care.  We were having fun, and nothing would deter me from that. 

My vision blurred and barely able to breathe, I moved in closer to her, grabbing her by the waist.  She wiggled and squirmed, fighting against my grasp.  “You give up?”

“Absolutely not!”

I wrapped my arm under her legs, picking her up out of the water.  She kicked and screamed, laughing as I raised her up out of the water.  “Andy, no!”  The words barely left her mouth before I released her, dunking her under the water.

She came up, breathless, and smacked my chest.  “I can’t believe you did that!”  I grabbed her by the wrists, pulling her flush against my body.  The water rippled around us, pushing us closer together.  I could feel her body heat through our wet clothes.  Our playful temperament shifted.  Gone were the laughs and smiles.  We were left with the same intense sexual tension that always mounted between us.  Hungry to feel her skin, I moved my hands under the water, gripping her hips, sliding my thumbs under the hem of her shirt.  She moaned softly, her eyes fluttering as she wrapped her arms around my neck.  She bit her bottom lip, sucking it deep into her mouth.  Our breathing increased, playing a beautiful symphony of desire, as the schism closed between us.

A sense of déjà vu encompassed me.  History was repeating itself, as if fate was trying to correct a terrible injustice.  Her smooth, wet lips inched closer to mine.  The warmth of her breath washed over my face, drawing me into her sweet kiss.  There was no fighting it this time.  “Mickie,” I breathed.

“What the hell?” boomed a loud, nasally voice near the house.

I groaned, mentally cursing the bastard who chose to interrupt us at this exact moment.  We were so close. 

McKenzie gripped the back of my neck, a look of sheer terror splayed across her face.  I gritted my teeth and turned my head just enough to see Gage standing at the back door, flanked by the rest of the family.  A look of disgust and anger colored his expression.  His fingers were balled into tight fists at his sides, as he took in our current state.

All of the sudden, McKenzie ripped herself from my arms.  I closed my eyes, racking my nails across my scalp, thankful for the cover of the water.  I was certain that my wet jeans would be far too revealing at the moment.

“That didn’t take long,” Bill quipped.  Lindsey jabbed her elbow in his gut, eliciting a stifled grunt.  Glenda squeezed in beside Gavin.  She linked her arm into his, resting her head on his bicep.  Her oversized teeth gleamed in the pale light of moon.  I almost laughed when she winked at McKenzie and me.

“Cannibal!” Justice squealed.  The little boy ran out the door, straight for us. 

The whole family, including McKenzie, screamed for him to stop, but it was too late.  His slender body hit the water with extreme force, sending a tidal wave flying up over our heads, and raining back down on top of us.  I laughed as the little boy resurfaced, grinning ear to ear.

I swiped water from my face, staring incredulously at McKenzie.  “Did he just say cannibal?” I asked
; laughing at the proud expression on Justice’s freckled cheeks.

“That’s what it sounded like to me,” McKenzie chortled.  She grabbed Justice by the nape of the neck, and rubbed her knuckles across the top of his head.  “It’s cannonball, silly boy.”

“I said cannibal,” he admonished, dodging from her.

“Justice William!” Jackie screeched.  She pushed past the crowd, holding Honor to her chest.  Frustration radiated from her.  “I don’t have spare clothes for you.”

“I sowee, Momma.”  He hung his head in shame. 

Cody stepped behind Jackie, resting his hand on her shoulder.  She glanced up at her husband.  A silent conversation ensued between them, easing the tension.  All anger disappeared from Jackie’s face.  She looked back to us, and smiled at her son.  “It’s okay, little guy. I’m sure Grammy has something for you to wear.”

“Of course I do,” Lindsey agreed.

I looked up at Lindsey, casting her a crooked grin while waggling my eye brows.  “Do you have something for me to wear,
Grammy
?”

Lindsey waved me off with a chuckle.  “I’m sure we can find something for you, Mr. Hottie.”

I puffed my chest out.  “I
am
Mr. Hottie, and don’t you forget it.”

“Narcissist,” Gage muttered.  My head jerked to the irritable individual who kept intruding my oasis.

“Hey, Drew,” Jackie called out, stopping me from jumping out of the pool and beating the shit out of the oversized gorilla now lurking behind everyone.  With a slight nod of her head, Jackie silently gave me permission to dunk her boy.  I glanced at the child, who paddled his arms and legs to keep afloat.  Returning Jackie’s nod, I wasted no time in performing my mission.  I swam over to him, wrapped my hands around his sides, and lifted him from the water, supporting him by his back.  Justice squealed and flailed his body, as I released him into the water.  When he reemerged, he yelled, “Again!”

A roar of laughter echoed around us.  I looked up toward our spectators.  Gavin seemed amused by the whole situation.  However, Jared appeared to carry the weight of the world on his shoulders.  A soft, almost sad smile lighted his lips.  I wasn’t a fool.  I knew Jared still carried a torch for McKenzie, even if he refused to admit it.

Justice grabbed my shirt.  “Again, Dwuw, again!”

Who was I to deny the child?  I lifted him up over my head, and tossed him into the water.  His laughter filled the air as he came back up.  The crowd clapped and cheered, calling out the boy’s name.  I glanced over at McKenzie who’d floated to the back of the pool, giving space for Justice and me to play.  She appeared content and relaxed.  Her arms crossed over her chest, and a simple smile donned her sweet lips.  I winked at her, and was instantly rewarded with a sweet blush that painted her cheeks.

“I’m out of here,” Gage snarled.  He trampled over to Lindsey and Bill, who’d sat down in a couple of lounge chairs stationed by the pool.  “Bill, Lindsey, thanks for dinner.  As always it was wonderful.”

Lindsey stood up and hugged him.  “It’s still early.  Stay a little longer.”

He kissed her cheek.  “I can’t.  Another time.”

“We’ll see ya tomorrow.”  Bill reached out and shook his hand.

With his shoulders slumped and his head down, Gage started toward the sliding door.

“Gage,” McKenzie called out.

Gage turned around at the sound of her voice.  She swam to the center of the pool.  Her eyes darted between me and him.  He stood there, waiting for her to say something.  Maybe he wanted her to ask him to stay.  Maybe he wanted her to tell me to leave.  Truth be told, I wanted to hear what she had to say as well.  There was something between them that I couldn’t quite put my finger on. 

Several times she opened and closed her mouth, but after a prolonged moment she said, “Have a good night.”

The corner of his mouth twitched.  “Yeah.  You too.”  He shoved the door open and disappeared into the house.

No one said a word.  No one moved
; at least not until we heard the screeching of tires peeling from the driveway.  The loud rumble of a dually engine vibrated the entire yard, shaking the wooden fence and trees. 

“I should’ve known,” I groused under my breath.

“Known what?”

I glanced back at Mickie, who’d returned to her comfortable position in the pool.   “Nothing.”

“No, Drew.  Tell me.”

I shrugged.  “That Gage was driving that jacked-up Chevy.”

“That gas-guzzlin’ piece of junk?  He’s had one since high school.”

“High school, huh?” I smirked, moving close to her.  This could be the answer to the questions that were plaguing me.  What was really going on between McKenzie and Gage?  It was obvious there was something more than a co-worker friendship.  But at the same time, I knew they weren’t romantically involved.  Bill would’ve warned me if they were.  Besides, McKenzie wouldn’t have allowed me to get close to her if they were intimately involved.

Before I could get my answer, Cody walked up to the entrance of the pool, holding his hand out toward his son.  “All right, Justice.  Time to get out of the pool.”

“Five mowe minutes,” Justice demanded.

Cody clapped his fingers together, urging the boy out of the water.  “Now, son.  We need to get your sister and momma home.”

“Aww!”  He met his father at the stairs and clambered out of the water. 

Glenda appeared with a towel.  “Let’s get your dried off, Little Man.” 

“Eww, Gwanny, my clothes all sticky.  Get ‘em off.”  He tried to strip out of his clinging shirt, but Granny stopped him. 

“We’ll change you when you get home.  For now, let’s dry off,” she instructed the child.  Granny wrapped the cotton sheath around his shoulders and rubbed her frail hands up and down his arms.  He squirmed and whimpered, but adhered to her request. 

McKenzie pushed off the wall and swam toward the stairs.  “We should get out too,” she advised, heaving herself from the water.   Placing my hands on her hips, I guided her up the stairs.  Her denim skirt hung low on her waist, exposing that sweet tattoo on her back.  I traced
my thumb along the phoenix, enamored by the swell of her skin at my touch.  McKenzie glanced over her shoulder, peering down at me as her teeth grazed over her bottom lip.  “Thank you.”

I pulled myself from the water, coming face to face with her.  “Anything for you.”  Her eyes dropped and a tender blush painted her skin followed by a ghost of a smile.  I tilted her chin up, tracing my thumb over her lips.

“We should get out of our wet clothes,” she suggested. 

I gave her a crooked grin.  “That idea has merit.”  Her blush blossomed brighter. 

“I bet I have something you can change into, Drew,” Bill assured me.

Lindsey offered us each a towel.  McKenzie stepped back, accepting the cloth from her mother.  She began to dry off.  “Thank you, sir, but I think we’ll head out of here as well.”  I accepted a towel from Lindsey, swiping it over my hair. 

McKenzie jerked her head up, meeting my gaze.  I again wished I had the ability to read her mind in that moment because the array of emotions she expressed both confused and excited me.  “I’ll walk you out,” she declared.

Justice approached us, pushing himself between McKenzie and me.  The towel dangled from his shoulders and his wild hair was practically
untamable now.  I looked down at the young man and smiled.  “It was really nice meeting you, Justice.  You be good for your Mom and Dad,” I told him.