The Certainty of Deception (15 page)

“I keep hearing that lately, and I’m starting to get a complex over it,” I retorted in aggravation.

“Quit being such a whiney bag.  What I’m trying to say is you’re over thinking this shit and not seeing the obvious solution here.  Think about it.  You and McKenzie started out on this crazy journey by simply being together.”

“Yeah.  So?”  My nose twitched and my lip curled, as I fought to control my temper. 

“So, what the fuck are you doing on the phone with me?”

I draped my arm over my eyes.  This was turning out to be a complete waste of my time.  I could be insulted anytime.  I didn’t need this right now.

“I thought I was coming to you for help,” I postulated.

“That’s not what I mean, Andrew,” she snapped.  “You once told me that you often found yourself going to her place because there was some magnetic pull between the two of you.  Is that still the case?”

My answer came swift and certain.  “Yes.”

“Then what are you doing on the phone with me?” she repeated to me slowly.  “You need to get your ass over to her place right now.  Her inviting you to breakfast was clearly her way of opening herself up to you, but she’s scared.  And she has every right to be.”

“She’s scared?  Scared of what?  She was the one who left me.”  I sat up, throwing my legs over the side of bed, placing my feet on the floor.  “You think I need to go to her place
now
?  It’s late.  She’s probably asleep.”

“That’s something you’ll have to ask her about,” Andie chuckled.  “And, trust me.  She’s no more asleep than you are.  I’d bet anything that she’s up right now, trying to make sense of everything.  You need to go. Now!”

“But what if she doesn’t want me there?”

“Stop
over thinking this.  Geez.  I’m beginning to think you’ve lost your dick and grown a vagina.  It’s not rocket science.  Stop stalling and get over there.  Trust me on this one.”

“And what do I say?”

“Nothing.  Everything.  Stop thinking about it and go!”

I laughed, somehow knowing that she was right.  When McKenzie lived in Sarasota, I often stopped by her apartment, unannounced, just to be close to her.  This was no different.  I had her address.  I would simply show up.  No harm done. 

“Okay!  I’ll go.”  The heaviness in my chest lifted.  This had to be the right course of action.  “Thank you, Andie.  You’re a lifesaver, you know that?”

“Yeah, yeah.  Now go.”

I smiled, imagining her grinning wide and proud.  “I love you, little sis.”

A soft laugh met me across the line.  “I love you, too, little brother.”  Then the line went dead; Andie’s subtle way of pushing me into action.  I dropped the receiver down on the base and raided my suitcase, pulling out my favorite t-shirt of Yoda smoking a joint and khaki shorts.  Not wanting to waste time with my contacts, I put on my glasses, slid on a pair of flip-flops, grabbed my keys and wallet, and dashed out the door.  I had a date with destiny and I didn’t want to be late.

Amarillo was a quiet city.  The roads devoid of travelling vehicles save the occasional semi-truck hauling their load through the sleepy, little town.  A high velocity vortex enveloped the car from the brutal wind, as I made the fifteen minute drive to McKenzie’s apartment.  Low in the sky, the moon hung, shrouded by drifting clouds.  A blanket of stars sparkled against the midnight backdrop.  I marveled at the beauty and clarity in which the stars revealed themselves to this seemingly forgotten part of the world.

I arrived at her apartment complex and parked the car as close as I could to the building.  As I got out of the car, I wiped my sweaty palms on my shorts and swallowed the lump that started to develop in my throat.  I’d done this before, several months back, when she first moved into her own place in Sarasota.  That was also the day I met her parents.  Talk about a total cock-blocking moment.  I had to hide the raging hard-on, which was ever present in my pants that day.  Let me just say, that’s not an easy task to undertake.

At the door of her charming little apartment, a twinge of sadness washed over me.  The place was older than her apartment in Sarasota.  It lacked the gorgeous view of the gulf and the rustic feel, but somehow I imagined that this was all that she could afford on her current salary. 

I lightly tapped my knuckles on the door, practically holding my breath in anticipation. 

“I swear to God,” McKenzie slurred from the other side of the door, “if that’s you, I’m kicking you so hard in the balls that you’ll never be able to procreate.”

Two thoughts occurred simultaneously at the sound of her voice.  One,
who the hell was she talking to
, and two,
was she wasted?

I rested both arms against the doorframe, leaning my head closer to the door.  “Mickie?” I hissed.

“Oh, God!” The next thing I heard was her cursing and fumbling around the room.  There was a loud bang followed by more cursing. 

“You all right in there?” I called out. 

“Just a second!” she croaked.  “Son of a -” her words were cut off by another loud thud.  I pushed my glasses up the bridge of my nose, laughing at the commotion going on inside her apartment.  A dog started barking, and for a moment I thought it was right behind me.  The way the doors were angled from one another made the animal sound much closer than it really was.  I glanced at the door to my right, and shushed the animal, wondering how large it might be. 

“Just let me in,” I persisted, a little unnerved by the dog’s barking.

“Hang on!”

I dropped my head against the door.  The metal felt cool on my skin.  My eyes widened at the thought that maybe she wasn’t dressed.  It was late, and that would explain the commotion.  “Hey, Mick.  Are you naked?  Because you know, I don’t mind seeing you without clothes on.  As a matter of fact-”

“No, I’m not naked!” she screeched, cutting me off.  “Gimme a sec, will ya!  Jeez!” her frazzled tone suggested that maybe I might’ve caught her doing something inappropriate, which only piqued my curiosity.

“Hmm.  Not naked.  Too bad for me,” I teased.  “Maybe you were using your vibrator.  You know you don’t have to hide it.  I can even give you a hand or two,” I chuckled.  The thought did have merit.  Mickie spread out naked before me.  I swallowed back the groan building in my chest at the wonderful image playing in my mind.  “Just open the door.”

“Jesus, Drew.  Will you keep your voice down,” her voice trailed off into a whisper; as she threw open the door.  I watched as she struggled to catch her breath.  Little beads of perspiration formed over her brow, which seemed odd since the air conditioner was blowing full force.  She’d piled her hair up in a ponytail which bunched up on top of her head.  Black framed glasses perched on the bridge of her nose.  Her hard nipples peeked through the white tank top she wore, and her teal gym shorts hugged her thighs, drawing my attention straight to her crotch.  I rubbed the back of my neck, forcing myself to take my eyes off the blessed promise land.  I cleared my throat, meeting her gaze.  “Well, are you going to let me in or what?” I jibbed.

McKenzie narrowed her eyes, scrutinizing me from head to toe.  Her tongue flickered over her delicate lips.  My pulse raced, as the ache to kiss her burned through me.  A twitch of a smile curved the corner of her mouth.  She leaned against the door, crossing her ankles over each other.  Even the damn dog that was still barking couldn’t break my concentration on her mouth. 
The spark that always ignited in my belly when I was in her presence, burst into uncontrollable flames. 

“I’m considering the
or what
,” she insinuated.  She took a step back, moving away from the door frame, giving me access to enter her apartment.  “C’mon in, you damn, impatient Yankee.  Don’t keep me waiting.”

  I entered her apartment only to be slapped in the face by a cloud of lavender air freshener.   Not even my glasses could protect my eyes from the haze of floral smog that coated the air.  My eyes burned and started to water.  I blinked rapidly, reaching up to rub them.  My glasses bounced against my hands, as I pressed my fingers against my eyes.  I could taste the particles of
scented air on my tongue.  As I attempted to breathe through the overwhelming smell, I picked up on another odor; one I hadn’t smelled since my college days.  A chuckle caught in my throat at the realization of what I’d caught her doing.  She hadn’t been naked and playing with a vibrator as I’d hoped, but there was definitely incriminating evidence a float, literally speaking. 

The burning wasn’t going to subside anytime soon, so, I readjusted my glasses and looked around the octagon-shaped room.  The living area connected to a small kitchenette, separated only by a small bar-like area.  The walls were dingy yellow, and there were stress cracks in the crown molding.  All of the furniture that had been in her former apartment now resided in this tiny abode.  This place was clean but cramped.  It was okay for one person to live in, but it wasn’t large enough for two people to reside.

McKenzie closed the door and locked it.  From behind me, I could hear her swallow thickly.  I turned to face her, meeting her piercing eyes. 

“I like the glasses,” she noted.  She crossed her arms behind her, poking her chest out toward me.  It took everything I had to keep my eyes on hers instead of her breasts.

I pushed my glasses up the bridge of my nose and smiled.  “Thanks.  Nice place you got here.”

Ugh.  Small talk.  I detest small talk.

“It’s not much, but it’s home.”

I took a step toward McKenzie, my need to be near her guiding my body when out of nowhere I heard a feline hiss and sputter.  Before I knew what was happening, I felt tiny little claws sink into my back.  “Jesus, fuck!” I yelled, flailing my arms behind me to apprehend my
attacker.  I whipped around in circles that would make a dog proud, unable to reach my assailant.  The cat wouldn’t let go.  Its nails buried deeper into my back with each move it made.  I’d been scratched by a cat many times, but this was unlike any cat scratch I’d ever endured.  This was pure torture.  “Get it off!”

“Hold still!” McKenzie instructed.  She grabbed my arms.  Searing pain ripped through my skin.  The small claws felt more like razors as they buried deep into my back.  McKenzie slipped her fingers between my shirt and my assailant, prying it from my back.  “Let him go, Mackie,” she cajoled in a soothing tone.  A little coaxing and the animal was removed, yet the burning remained.  “Bad kitty,” she scolded the creature in a praising manner. 

I turned around to find McKenzie holding a small, black kitten with white circles around its eyes.  The animal was so tiny that it could’ve easily fit in the palm of my hand.  It swished its tail and stared at me through gorgeous green eyes. There was a sense of pride in the kitten’s demeanor.  If I didn’t know better, I’d swear that damn cat had acted on command.  “Mackie?” I asked, rubbing my hand over the snagged cotton of my shirt. 

Damn it burns!

“McGonagall,” she responded, scratching behind the kitten’s ears.  It was kind of cute that McKenzie named her cat after a Harry Potter character when both of mine were named after Star Wars characters.  We really were two peas in a pod.  Had I not been in pain and probably bleeding, I would’ve attempted to pet the animal, but in this case, I figured I was safer keeping my distance.  With my luck, my hand would be shredded to pieces if I tried to touch her.

“I’m sorry about this.  She got all riled up from me runnin’ around here like a chicken with my head cut off.”  She placed the kitten on the floor,
who popped her butt in the air while swishing her tail back and forth as she exited the room.  “We weren’t expecting company tonight.”

“Are you sure about that?  You did threaten to kick me in the balls a moment ago.”

Mickie slapped her hand over her face and groaned.  “I wasn’t threatening
you
.  I thought you were someone else.”  She dropped down onto the sofa, propping her bare feet up on the coffee table.  She rested her head back; her eyes meeting the ceiling. 

“I see,” I
mumbled, taking a seat next to her.  There was a strange heaviness in the air that couldn’t be blamed on the air freshener that still lingered.  “So, you were expecting Gage tonight,” I stated.

A deep sigh escaped her chest, as she dropped her head back against the cushion.  “I wasn’t expecting anyone.  He called a little while ago, and offered to come over.  I told him no, but I figured he decided to come over anyway.”

“Um, okay,” I elongated my tone in skepticism.

“Look, it’s not what you think.”  She raised her voice in frustration.

“And what do I think?” I asked, curious as to what her assumptions might be.

She tilted her head, directing her gaze to me.  “You think that I’ve got something going on with Gage.  I can see it in your eyes, but you’re wrong.  Yeah, we dated in high school, but there’s nothing between us now.”  The words flew out of her mouth so fast I almost didn’t understand her.  “As a matter of fact...”

I raised my hand, cutting her off.  All of the anger inside me boiled to the surface.  I forced myself to breathe, fearing that I’d lose my temper.  “Okay!” I vociferated.  I pursed my lips, pushing my glasses up the bridge of my nose.  “Okay,” I repeated, lowering my voice.

“If you’d just let me finish,” McKenzie protested.

I shook my head.  Anymore information about the oversized behemoth known as Gage and I’d end up punching a hole in the wall. 

We sat in silence while I stewed in my anger.  She turned in her seat, facing me.  I couldn’t look at her.  This was too frustrating.  Everything inside me wanted to get up and leave, and yet I was stuck, unable to move.  My heart controlled my body.

“You should know, however, that Gage was my first.”

I sat up straight, adjusting to face her, nearly choking on my own saliva.  “Your what?” I croaked.

“You heard me, Andy.  My first.  But I don’t think of him like that anymore.  He’s my friend.  That’s it.”

I swallowed hard and squelched the feelings threatening to overtake me as best as I could.  The fucker had touched her.  Not only that, but he’d been her first.  I hated him before, but I loathed him now.  Yet there was nothing I could say.  We’re both adults.  We’d both had other partners in our lives.  But why did this asshole have to be her first? 

“Say something,” McKenzie demanded. 

“I have nothing to say,” I deadpanned.

She growled in frustration, throwing her hands in the air.  “I give up,” she waned.  Her fists made contact with the seat cushions, as she sprang from the couch and dashed toward the kitchen area.  The fridge opened and I could hear the clattering of glass being extracted from a box.  She slammed the refrigerator door and popped the top off of a beer.  How she could drink that nasty shit, I didn’t know.  I’d never acquired the taste for beer.  I didn’t mind the occasional Corona with lime, but even that tasted like piss to me.  When I drank, I wanted rum or vodka, not beer.

She took a deep swig from the amber bottle.  “Ahh,” she gasped.  She tipped the bottle toward me.  “Would you like one?”

“No, thanks.  I haven’t touched a drop since...” my words died on my lips.

McKenzie licked her lips.  Her eyes closed for a brief moment, as she took another deep gulp from the bottle.  “Good for you.  I’m sure that makes Olivia happy.”