THE HUSBAND HUNTERS (27 page)

Kaz knocked on the door. I was so disappointed, that I expected Jane Watts to open the door dressed in a twin set and pearls, with her perfectly-coiffured hair in waves, but when she opened the door, I was pleasantly surprised. She was dressed in an orangey-brown kaftan and had jet-black hair. She even had thick, black eyeliner on. Now things were looking better. I cheered up a bit then, and followed the others as we all trooped into her living room. There was a big table in the middle, with five chairs set out around it.

‘Would anyone like a cup of tea?’ she asked, as we all sat down around the table. I shook my head. I didn’t want Jane Watts suddenly to go back to being the tea-lady at the cafe. None of the others wanted a drink either, so she sat down. She had lit some tiny little candles around the room and an incense stick was burning. If I didn’t look out the window and see the other perfectly-manicured lawns on the opposite side of the road, I could almost imagine I was in a little wooden hut on Blackpool pier.

‘Can you all take off an item and give it to me,’ instructed Jane. She pointed at me. ‘Give me your ring, dear.’ I was wearing a big amber ring on my right hand, so I pulled it off my finger and gave it to her. She laid it down on the table, and looked at Kaz. ‘Your scarf,’ she instructed. Kaz obediently unwound her scarf from round her neck and gave it to Jane. Rach took her hair bobble out of her ponytail and handed that over, and Tash unclipped her gold necklace from around her neck.

Jane closed her eyes, and picked up our things one by one, rubbing her hands through Kaz’s scarf, turning my amber ring over in her fingers, touching Tash’s necklace and rubbing at Rach’s hair bobble. I caught Tash’s eye and tried not to giggle.

Jane's eyes snapped open and looked straight at me. ‘You have been hurt recently,’ she said slowly, still stroking my amber ring. ‘It was something that you had set your heart on, and it was taken away.’

I thought of Paul Hardman. I was impressed that Jane had managed to pick up that vibe from my ring.

Jane suddenly looked puzzled and looked around at us all. ‘I’m feeling that something or someone is missing,’ she said. ‘Are you all here?’

She must be talking about Soph.

‘
Yes, there would have been someone else, but she’s not here today,’ I said.

‘I feel a great sadness coming from this ring about this person,’ went on Jane. ‘There has been a division and it’s not been resolved.’

I pictured Soph and Paul together, their arms wrapped around each other. ‘You’re damn right it hasn’t been resolved,’ I wanted to shout out to Jane.

‘You must see if you can try and mend this divide. Put it back together,’ she added. ‘Over my dead body,’ I thought – and I knew the other girls would feel the same.

‘You must,’ went on Jane. ‘There is no happiness for any of you, if this bit of jigsaw remains missing.’ She looked round at each of us. Well, that was great. We were being told that we would all remain lonely and husbandless if we didn’t make up with Soph. It would be a big price to pay to get a husband. How desperate were we all to get up that aisle? Enough to climb down and invite Soph back into the club?

Jane looked at me. ‘I’m feeling something strange from this ring,’ she said. ‘I can see bees, lots of them, and it will be the start of happiness for you, Bee.’

That was strange. Perhaps I was going to marry a beekeeper or something. That sounded all right; a beekeeper would probably have his own farm and lots of land. Quite promising, I thought, cheered up by the prospect of marrying a wealthy landowner.

Jane turned to Kaz, running her scarf through her fingers.

‘I can see money in your life,’ she said. Kaz’s eyes started to gleam and she leaned forwards enthusiastically. ‘You won’t be able to see it at first, but be patient – it will come.’ Kaz looked a bit disappointed. I think she thought she was going to be told she was going to win the lottery next week. I was about to butt in and ask Jane if she could see the lottery numbers for us, and then I could run out and buy a ticket, but she had already picked up Tash’s necklace. I’ve never bought a lottery ticket since someone told me that you stand more chance of being struck by lightning twice, than of winning the lottery. As I haven’t even been struck once – even though I’ve ridden my horse out in lots of thunderstorms – I’ve never thought there was much point in buying a lottery ticket. Jane was running Tash’s necklace through her fingers.

‘I see great sadness here,’ she said. ‘I see two children – but they aren’t yours. I can see a schoolgirl too, running. Does that mean anything to you?’

Tash gulped. I watched her with interest. Was Tash going to confess all and admit to Jane Watts that – yes, she had been a sluttish schoolgirl and had run off with her geography teacher for thirty days of wild sex in a bed and breakfast? Tash shook her head. I thought not. It wasn’t the most admirable thing to own up to.

‘I’m sure this schoolgirl is you, Tash,’ Jane said, closing her eyes as if to try and see a better picture. ‘You are running from something and I don’t know what.’

She moved on and picked up Rach’s hair bobble. Her eyes flew open and she looked directly at Rach. ‘You’re pregnant aren’t you?’ she asked, looking at Rach’s stomach. Rach smiled.

‘Yes, I am,’ she said, admiringly. ‘I can’t believe you knew that.’ I couldn't either. Rach’s bump wasn’t showing and she had a baggy black jumper on so you couldn’t even see her thick waist.

‘I can see a healthy baby, everything will be fine,’ Jane added; ‘but I can feel you here Tash, and you too, Bee. Are you going to be birthing partners?’

‘No, only Bee is,’ Rach replied, firmly.

‘I can definitely see you both here. It’s not in a hospital, but I can see you both with the baby,’ said Jane. Rach looked a bit horrified at this.

‘I thought I’d told you to lock Tash away somewhere, when I went into labour,’ she hissed at me.

‘It hasn’t even happened yet,’ I hissed back. ‘Don’t worry – I won’t let Tash anywhere near you, when it happens.’ Rach still hadn’t forgotten about Tash boasting that she could deliver a baby, after watching a single episode of Casualty.

Jane laid all our items back down on the table.‘That’s all I can see for now,’ she said. ‘I would usually see more, but I think that it’s because you are missing your fifth friend. If she comes back, then everything will move on for all of you. It is vital that you make it up with her, if you all want a happy future.’

‘Great, not only has bloody Soph wrecked my life, but all yours, too.’ I grumbled to the girls, as we walked back towards Kaz’s car. ‘If none of you can find happiness without her being involved, then I may have to make it up with her.’

‘Absolutely not,’ said Tash. ‘You shouldn’t have to be the one who goes crawling to her, Bee. She made off with your man, and as far as I’m concerned – she’s history. You don’t go around doing things like that to your friends. It’s downright sneaky.’

‘Yes, but if Soph’s history, then none of us have a future,’ said Rach, looking worried. ‘Do you think you could forgive her?’ she asked, looking anxiously at me.

I didn’t want to have my friends’ unhappy futures resting on my shoulders. ‘I’ll think about it,’ I said, magnanimously, climbing into the car. ‘She’s been punished enough.’

It was true. Soph had only been seen a few times down at the stable yard since she had run off with Paul. She had tried to talk to Tash the first time, and Tash had walked away. I had to hand it to Tash – she was as loyal as a dog when it came to her friends, and she had hated seeing me so hurt by what Soph did. I wasn’t quite ready to forgive Soph yet, but I’d promised the girls that I would think about it.

‘Do you know any beekeepers?’ Nick asked me curiously, when I recounted the whole fortune-teller episode to him on Monday morning. I had told him about the swarm of bees she had seen around me.

‘No, I don’t,’ I said, racking my brains. ‘I don’t think beekeepers would go out in the bars in Manchester, so unless I’m going to bump into one by accident, then I don’t know where I’m going to meet him.’

My future beekeeping husband was the hot topic of conversation at the next meeting. All the girls were really excited about the thought of me meeting a handsome, rich beekeeper.

‘I’ve googled beekeeping on the internet,’ said Tash, excitedly. ‘And I found the Cheshire Beekeepers’ Association. I think you should join it, Bee – it’s your destiny,’ she added dramatically.

‘How I can I join a beekeeping group, if I don’t own a single bee?’ I said worriedly.

‘You could catch a couple,’ said Rach, ‘then you could keep them in a glass tank. If you had to go to a meeting, you could always buy some supermarket honey, scoop it into a bowl, and take it along, pretending your bees have made it.’

‘Oh, great,’ I said, ‘then I’d be exposed for passing off Sainsbury’s honey as my own and I’ll be thrown out of the Association, and no beekeeper will want anything more to do with me.’

‘Okay, perhaps don’t pretend they’ve made any honey, but you could catch a couple,’ Tash said. ‘They like sandwiches and fizzy drinks, so we could leave some outside on the table and then you could pounce on them with a glass, to catch them.’

‘Isn’t it wasps that land on sandwiches?’ pointed out Kaz. ‘Bees usually just go for flowers. Bee will have to sit in her mum’s garden and try and catch some when they land on the flowers.’

This sounded a bit dangerous to me. I’ve never captured a bee before. What if I got horribly stung, and then had anaphylactic shock and couldn’t breathe.

‘Well, at least you would die in a good cause,’ pointed out Tash. ‘She died in a quest for love. We could carve it on your headstone.’

I didn’t like the sound of this. I was beginning to wish the sodding fortune-teller had never mentioned anything about bees. It was turning out to be hard, dangerous work.

‘I’m sure my uncle used to have a beehive,’ chipped in Rach. ‘I’ll call him and see if he still has all the gear. One of those hats with a net all around it, and a big net on a stick, too. You can wear that, Bee – then you won’t get stung.’

‘I can’t prance around my mum’s garden dressed in a beekeeper’s hat and waving a big net,’ I said, crossly. ‘People will think I’m mad.’

‘Your mum’s garden is completely secluded,’ said Rach. ‘No-one will see you. You will be able to get a few bees, and then you can join the Association – simple as that.’

It didn’t sound very simple to me. It was all right for the girls to breezily tell me to catch a few bees, whilst they were sitting at home, cosily watching
Eastenders
. I looked at Rach pleadingly.

‘Don’t ask me for help,’ she said, patting her bump, which was now beginning to show nicely. She was now four months’ pregnant, and in the last week, Rach suddenly didn’t look fat anymore, she had the definite beginnings of a bump. ‘I can’t go leaping around your mum’s garden, Bee,’ she pointed out. ‘Anything could happen. I’ve got to take it easy.’

‘So, it’s all decided,’ interrupted Tash. ‘Bee has got to join this bee club, if she wants to find her dream man. The only way to do that is to catch some bees – and that's final.’ She turned to Kaz, dismissing my horrendous mission as though it was merely a stroll in the park. ‘How are you getting on with Adam? Have you seen him again?’

‘Yes, a few times,’ admitted Kaz. ‘We have been out for dinner.’

‘And?’ said Rach.

‘He’s lovely and we do get on well,’ sighed Kaz, ‘but there is the one huge problem. He isn’t the kind of man I’m after. You all know that I will only marry a rich man and Adam is as poor as a church mouse. The first time we went for dinner we went to the local pub, and the second time we went to Pizza Hut. He apologized and said it was the only place he could afford. I’m only going to go out with him a few more times; then I’ll have to call it off. We get on really well, but it’s not fair stringing him along, when I’ve got no intentions of having a future with him.’

‘He told my mum that he thinks you’re amazing,’ said Tash. Kaz blushed pink and a small smile played around her mouth.

‘He is a great kisser,’ she confessed. ‘He drove me home in his Ford Fiesta, and I was sinking down in the front seat, so no-one could see me – but then, when he started kissing me, I didn’t care where I was. I’ve never been kissed like that before.’

‘Kaz, you’re mad,’ I said in amazement. ‘He sounds fantastic – and all you’re bothered about is that he drives a knackered, old Fiesta and takes you out to Pizza Hut. I’d be wrapped around him like a barnacle, if were me.’

‘Yes, well, you might settle for anything, Bee,’ she said – I bristled at that one – ‘but I have my priorities, and I won’t settle for anything less, even though he kisses like a dream and looks like he should be on the Diet Coke commercial.’

‘Take a look at that,’ breathed Rach, looking at the door of the restaurant. I looked over and nearly choked on my mouthful of wine. Standing at the door, was the most gorgeous man I’d seen in ages. He was wearing jeans and a black leather jacket. He was about six-foot tall, with jet-black curly hair and dark eyes. Not taking my eyes off him, I scrabbled in my handbag for a piece of paper and a pen, ready to sign him up for the agency on the spot. I could see him in a ‘jeans’ commercial. He walked over to our table.

‘I thought I’d come and pick you up,’ he said to Kaz. I nearly choked for the second time. This hunk of a specimen was Kaz’s builder. I couldn’t believe it. Kaz was gazing moonily at him.