02 Unforgivable - Untouchable (36 page)

“
Starving, actually,” she spoke up, following me to the table.

I wanted to say, ‘yeah, sex will do that to an appetite,’ but I kept my mouth shut.

“
So, how was Canada?” he asked, pulling out a chair for me.

“
I really wish I’d brought you along,” I blurted, not thinking that it would sound like I wanted to prevent what occurred between the two of them. “I—I—mean the plane had hydraulic problems and…”

I could see a worried expression come over his face at the mention of airplane trouble.

“
Anyway,” I continued, “Pete and Jason talked me into a day of adventure; I went down a mountain on a zip-line at about fifty miles an hour, and then Jason and I went bungee jumping.”

“
Bungee jumping?” Ryan raised an eyebrow at the same moment a little crooked grin appeared on his face.

“
It was terrifying,” I confessed, “you’d have loved it. So—Candace—you must have stayed the night,” I said trying to keep the little quiver out of my voice. “You must be playing hooky today.”

“
No,” she laughed. “It’s a record day, so I don’t have anything to do until three when I go into work.”

“
Oh,” was all I could come up with.

“
I’m going to go take a shower,” she said, drinking the last of her coffee and rising from the table. “Do you want to take one with me?” she reached over and was tugging Ryan’s hand toward the bedroom.

I could see the look of indecision on his face. He was debating about being a gentleman while I was in the house, or giving in to what Candace wanted at the moment.

“
Go ahead,” I said, hoping to help with his decision. “I’ve got stuff to pack up anyway.”

Reluctantly, he allowed himself to be led away. I wanted to scream at myself for being such a jealous idiot, but I would have to settle for grabbing my bags and throwing them into my car. I was slinging them around with enough force to make up for not being able to scream.

Candace, on the other hand, was having no problem getting vocal in the other room. The more she screamed and moaned, the less I could take. I finally had enough. I grabbed my keys and made the first run to my new house. I fit everything except two bags into my car, but I wasn’t going to bother to go back for them until well after three p.m. Consciously or unconsciously, she was flaunting the fact that he belonged to her now.

I called Jan and she told me the combo to the lockbox on the house and then she told me my new alarm code. I pulled up to the large craftsman style, two-story home. The house was a gray-brown stone façade with beautiful white columns framing in the front porch. They had done extensive landscaping and flowers lined the flagstone path up to the front door.

It was certainly bigger than anything one person needed with just over three thousand square feet and three bedrooms and three and a half baths. The upper story was a huge bonus area the family had turned into a game room. There was a billiard table, dart board, bar, ping pong table and even two full-size antique video arcade machines. One game was Centipede and the other was Pac-man. The pool was not excessively large, but more than sufficient for laps and there was an eight person built in spa that flowed into the pool. It had an outdoor kitchen and barbeque on the pool patio. This was definitely a party house, but I was a party of one.

After turning off the alarm and finding the remote to the garage, I pulled my car inside and drug my bags into the house. It was funny for them to seem so heavy now that I wasn’t running on all the embarrassed energy that filled me while Ryan and Candace showered.

I got as far as the living room with the bags and flopped onto the couch. “It’s okay, Leese,” I said out loud, “you can cry now.” I rolled over onto the pillow and began to sob.

I woke to the sound of a doorbell. For a stunned moment, I didn’t know where I was. I stumbled toward the door, glancing at the time on my cell phone as I did. It was three-thirty. I approached the door cautiously, expecting to see Jan’s petite figure through the stippled glass, but it was a man. I was pretty certain from the height and the darkness of the hair that it was Ryan. I looked through the peek-hole and he was there holding my last two bags.

I opened the door, but he stood there sheepishly, waiting for me to invite him inside.

“
Hey,” was all I could manage.

“
When I realized you weren’t coming back for these, I figured you might be waiting for someone to leave.”

“
Yeah, I guess it kind of sucker-punched me in the gut. I mean, I’m happy for you—both of you, I just didn’t think it would be that hard to take.”

“
Candace didn’t help matters any,” he admitted.

“
Well, I can’t say I blame her. You are pretty much the catch of the century, especially when all those clips of you come out on Remake.”

He rolled his eyes and stepped inside, “Where would you like me to…” His eyes went to the other bags lying on the living room floor. “Which bedroom are you sleeping in? I’ll carry all these for you.”

I showed him the master bedroom, grateful for him to move the bags for me.

“
So did you bring your shorts?” I asked, pointing toward the pool.

He grinned and grabbed for the buttons on his button-fly jeans; two buttons undone and I could see his trunks.

I had to ask, “Did Candace know you were coming over?”

“
Yeah, she did, but I swear now that she and I have… Well, let’s say she’s more insecure over me being around you than before. I finally had to tell her to just get a grip because you and I are still best friends.”

“
Well, don’t get into fights with her over me,” I said, clearly shocked she was still concerned about he and I stepping over a line.

“
We aren’t going to fight about it. She’s just going to have to accept it.”

I smiled, “You want to go ahead and get in the pool while I get my bikini on?”

He gave me the most unusual look. I had never seen that expression on his face before and I couldn’t quite understand it. He turned and headed for the patio as I went into the bedroom to find my bathing suit and robe. It wasn’t until I joined him poolside that the realization hit me I’d never worn a bikini in front of him.

Suddenly, I knew what the look on his face was reflecting. There were no secrets anymore. Ryan was a man who knew the intimacies of being with a woman and I was getting ready to get close to him with very little clothing on. Micah had given me a similar look as he waited for me the first time we swam together.

“
This isn’t going to get weird between us, is it?” I asked as he waited.

“
Leese, I honestly don’t think there has been anything between us that hasn’t been weird since we met. You were an heiress in hiding, a hit man was getting ready to steal you away, you end up marrying him, I end up running away with you, we love each other but we can’t make love, you work on hooking me up with an old flame, and now here we are, alone again—we are about as weird as it gets, baby girl.”

I had to laugh. He was absolutely right. I pulled off the robe and dove in.

He caught me pretty quickly and I surprised him by hugging his neck and kissing his cheek. “Well, at least we’re happy weirdoes.”

“
All right, so tell me what bungee jumping was like,” he said with curiosity.

“
I should have had you with me instead of Jason. They tied our legs—”

“
You jumped with him—I mean, literally tied to him?”

“
Yeah, he hugged me so tightly that—”

“
Like embracing each other?”

I wrinkled my brow, “Don’t tell me you’re jealous,” I teased.

“
Baby girl, you are too innocent when it comes to men. Don’t be so trusting because some guys have all the wrong intentions.”

“
I don’t typically get that close to a man, but I was terrified to jump alone.”

“
Did you go head first?”

“
Yeah, and, at first, you can’t feel the bungee and it’s like ‘I’m gonna die, I just know it.’”

“
It sounds like you had a great time.”

“
I—I did. So how was your—adventure?”

“
Terrifying,” he laughed, “at first, but after I got over my heart feeling like it was going to jump out of my chest, and then remembering to breathe, it was pretty awesome.”

I wanted so badly to ask him something he asked me once, but I was struggling to get it out and he noticed.

“
What?”

“
Nothing.”

“
I can see it in your face, baby girl. You want to know something; just say it.”

I grinned slowly, “So are you a rock star?”

The eyebrows went up as he grabbed me by my head and dunked me.

I came up spluttering as he laughed and said according to Candace, he was.

“
So that means you have to answer the same question, because you never told me last time.”

I took a deep breath, “He was the rock star, but he did say he’d never experienced anything like me.” I caught and wiped the tear as it blended into the pool water on my cheek.

“
That doesn’t surprise me,” he sighed. “I think you would be so different from Candace—she’s fun, but she acts her age. But you? I have a feeling you would give a whole different dimension to making love.”

“
Let’s swim, before we get too deep.”

The rest of the afternoon we lightened up and enjoyed ourselves. I invited him to bring Candace, Andy, and Ty back to the house tonight for steaks on the grill, fun in the game room, and pool. He kissed my cheek and said he’d be back in several hours. I went to the local grocery store and did some serious shopping and came back to the house and got everything ready.

Candace didn’t get off work until nine, so I didn’t expect company until nine-thirty or ten. They showed right at ten p.m.

“
You really need to be my girlfriend,” Ty said teasingly after getting a tour of the house.

The guys grilled while Candace and I tossed a salad and cut potatoes to brown in the convection oven. It gave us a chance to talk as I asked her if she was happy.

Her eyes went huge as she smiled, “Who wouldn’t be? He’s about as perfect as perfect gets. I just hope he likes me half as much.”

“
Candace, don’t worry about him—he never would have—”

“
Yeah, I know, but I may have pushed him a little hard on that issue.”

“
Still, if he didn’t want to, he would have found an excuse. Don’t doubt yourself; he’s crazy about you.”

She giggled and thanked me for the vote of confidence.

It was a little wild after we all got down to bathing suits and jumped into the pool, but Candace and I survived all the testosterone and flexing.

Once everyone left and I locked the house and set the alarm, I got to try my wings out at being alone—really alone. I hated it. Within an hour, I was ready to jump in my car and drive back to our little place in the historic district, but I knew what I’d walk in on and I simply couldn’t handle that. I laid down in the silence, but it was driving me crazy. I finally got up and found the stereo and turned on the music and went back to bed. Drowning out the silence was preferred, but I still couldn’t sleep. Somewhere around five in the morning, I slipped into unconsciousness. Two hours later, I was having coffee and watching the morning sky, ripple across the hills.

I didn’t see Ryan and Candace until late Saturday evening when they came over to swim, but I could tell Ryan was studying my face. I knew he wanted to corner me and ask how I slept last night, but I made sure he didn’t get the opportunity.

Saturday night was no better and I simply couldn’t, no matter the exhaustion level, get to sleep. I went out and did laps in the pool until I was so weak I could hardly drag myself from the water, but within an hour of dozing off, I was awake again. This was driving me insane. Before I met Micah, I didn’t have trouble sleeping. After Micah, it was as if my ability to close my eyes stayed with him when I ran away.

I met Ryan and Candace for church, but I had to use extra makeup to cover the dark circles that were starting to form under my eyes. I had to get some sleep tonight because I was flying out Tuesday for L.A. and at the rate I was going I would never be able to perform. I was going to have to break down and buy a bottle of sleeping pills.

I went to the pharmacy after church and found an over-the-counter sleep aid and went home. I took two pills and laid down for a nap, I knew I’d have no trouble drifting off, but it was staying that way I needed help with. I woke two and a half hours later. They helped but now I was lethargic and unwilling to get up even though I was awake. I stayed on the couch for another hour and then got up and trudged around the house with no ambition to do anything. Ty, Andy, Ryan, and Candace showed a little bit later as we played pool and darts and they tried to talk me in to going out with them to the bistro.