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He sighed. “Look, I’m singing down at the Dead End tonight. Please come see me after my set so I can explain myself. Please. I don’t want any money, I don’t want handouts.”

“I’ll think about it, but don’t hold your breath.”

He nodded, crestfallen. “Okay. I do hope you come, Vivian. I really do.”

Vivian stood shaking as she watched him walk down the hallway out of the neuro wing. At least he hadn’t gone back to bother her mother.

She took a deep calming breath and tried to fight back the tears of anger that were threatening to spill. When she got a hold of herself she headed back to her mother’s room to make sure she was okay.

When she walked in the room, her mother was smiling expectantly, but then her smile disappeared and she glared. “Oh, it’s you.”

“Mama, it’s me, Vivian.”

She frowned. “What kind of game do you think you’re playing at? You’re not Vivian. Vivian is a baby.”

“Yes, but Mama that was a long time ago. Don’t you remember?” She was trying desperately to shake her out of her setback, to get her mother back.

“No, I don’t know what you’re talking about. Where’s my husband?” Then her mother looked around the room in a panic. “Where is my baby?”

“Mama...”

“Stop calling me that!” Her mother tried to rip the IV from her arm. “I have to get out of here.”

Vivian rushed forward and tried to push her back down, but her mother slapped her hard across the face, knocking Vivian back.

“Whoa, Mrs. Bowen. It’s okay.” Suddenly Reece was there, holding her mother down. “It’s okay. I’m Dr. Castle and I’m going to find your husband and baby.”

“Get that she devil away from me!” her mother screamed.

Reece glanced over his shoulder. “Get a sedative.”

Stunned, Vivian went out into the hallway and accessed the medicine cabinet. She pulled out a mild sedative and a syringe. When she brought it to Reece he had her mother calm. He quickly injected the sedative into her IV line.

“I want my baby and husband, Dr. Castle. They’re gone,” her mother sobbed, pleading with him. It broke Vivian’s heart.

Curse her father for riling her mother up like that. Why did he have to come back?

“I’ll find them, Mrs. Bowen. It’s okay.” Reece’s voice was gentle and soothing. “Just rest.”

Her mother nodded and slowly fell into a sedated sleep.

“What set your mother off?” he asked.

“My father showed up.”

“Your father?”

“Yeah, he’s hasn’t been around for years. He left us when I was young. He came back and she just regressed to a happier time.”

“What did he want?” Reece asked.

“He wants to make amends. He wants me to meet him tonight at the Dead End.”

He frowned. “That’s a seedy place.”

“That’s not surprising for him. He was always known for frequenting those kind of establishments so I guess nothing has changed.”

“Is this why you paged me in the OR?” he asked, not looking at her as he checked her mother’s vitals.

“No,” Vivian said. “That’s not it.”

“Then what is it?” he asked impatiently.

“Andrew Sampson came to visit Gary Trainer.”

The color drained from his face and he frowned. “Did he?”

“Yes. I’m afraid your secret is out.”

CHAPTER TWELVE

R
EECE
CURSED
UNDER
his breath as he stormed out of Vivian’s mother’s room. He couldn’t deal with this now. This was something he never wanted to deal with. As he walked down the hall all eyes turned to him. He could feel the stares, hear the whispers and he knew then there was no kind of damage control he could do. Everyone knew he was Ray Castille’s son.

It was washing over this hospital faster than a tidal wave.

Whoever he was before didn’t matter. They didn’t see him as Dr. Reece Castle anymore. They were looking at him, comparing him to his father, whispering about their estrangement and wondering if he had the same talent as his father and why he didn’t choose that life.

It enraged him that they judged him this way. Hadn’t he proven himself as a surgeon? He was more than just a country legend’s son.

Only that wasn’t what anyone saw anymore. They couldn’t see beyond his father.

He shook his head and headed for the privacy of his office. He needed time to adjust, to figure out what he was going to do. Then he stopped. No, he was going to face this head-on. He turned and headed to Gary’s suite. Now the truth was out, there was no sense trying to deny it any longer.

When he got there Andrew Sampson was sitting by Gary’s bedside and chatting with him. The moment Reece walked through the door the conversation stopped.

“Why didn’t you tell me, Dr. Castle?” Gary asked. “Your dad was my idol. I can’t believe you’re Ray Castille’s estranged son.”

“Yes. I am,” Reece said quickly. “And I’m aware that you’re fond of my father’s music.”

“More than fond. He’s my inspiration. The stories you must have.”

Reece snorted.
Stories. Right.
He had a lot of stories and they mostly consisted of addiction and violence.

Also crushing loneliness.

“No, not any stories. Not really.”

“Andrew was telling me how you sang some of your father’s songs last night. You have a gift, my friend.”

“I know. It’s medicine,” Reece snapped. He crossed his arms. “I changed my name for a reason. I can’t say I’m too impressed that my colleagues now know who my father was.”

Andrew frowned. “I’m sorry, Dr. Castille, truly I am. I didn’t think that was something you would hide. I mean, he was your father. I thought you would be proud of that.”

“I am aware of who he was, Mr. Sampson, and it’s Dr. Castle. Not Castille.”

“Andrew was telling me that your father’s thirtieth anniversary of his first platinum single is coming up. They were asking me if I wanted to sing, but I’m not sure when I’m getting out of here,” Gary hedged. “You wouldn’t happen to know, would you, Dr. Castle?”

“No, Gary. I don’t know. I can hazard a guess that you won’t be able to participate in my father’s anniversary show at the Opry.”

“So how about you?” Andrew asked. “The offer still stands. It would be a great full circle to have you make your debut at the Opry.”

“Debuts at the Opry are for those who are pursuing a singing career, Mr. Sampson. I’m not,” Reece said firmly.

“You could be,” Andrew said.

“No, I couldn’t. I’m not interested.” Reece didn’t want to stay another moment in the room. He couldn’t. He was so angry. All of his years protecting himself from this moment and it was done. He’d known it was a bad idea to sing at the Red Swallow Bistro that night. He didn’t know why he’d done it.

Because maybe you secretly wanted everyone to know. You’re tired of holding it in.

“Now, if you’ll excuse me, gentlemen, I have rounds.” He left the room, his pressure still high.

“Reece!”

He turned to see Vivian running after him.

“Not now, Vivian,” he snapped and continued to walk away. He tried to shut the door to his office, but she pushed her way in.

“Don’t you dare push me aside and run away from me!”

“You ran from me,” he growled. Then he groaned, instantly regretting the words. “I’m sorry.”

“No, it’s okay. I just wanted to check in on you.”

“Vivian, I don’t have time for this. Go. Please, I’m begging you.”

She crossed her arms. “No. I’m not leaving. Why are you so upset about your secret getting out?”

“I don’t want the attention.”

She sighed. “I’m sorry it happened. I’m sorry for it all.”

And he had a sense that she was apologizing for more than just his secret getting out. He sat down wearily in his chair and scrubbed a hand over his face.

“This is not what I needed today. I have three more protocols to do and I have to send your mom back down to CT.”

Vivian nodded. “I think she’s regressed.”

He nodded. “I think so too and I’m sorry. You said your father was here and that triggered her?”

“I have no doubt.” He could hear the bitterness in her voice. Apparently he wasn’t the only one with father issues.

“Is your father still here? I mean, you’re the power of attorney. You can deny him access to your mother. Especially when she’s like this... Plus when you put her into a home.”

“I’m not putting her into a home,” Vivian said quickly.

“Vivian, be realistic. She’s regressing fast. You can’t be with her twenty-four seven. You have a life, a career.”

“Not much of one, if the rumors are to be believed.”

“What rumors?” he asked.

“My skills are being questioned. The board is demanding an answer to Gary’s medical condition. An answer I can’t give them because I can’t find what’s causing his problems.”

“Don’t let them make you doubt yourself, Vivian. You’ll find the answer.”

She shrugged. “It is what it is. I can only do so much, but with my mother fading perhaps I should just take a sabbatical and take care of her myself.”

“And what if she regresses the way she did today? You could get hurt.”

“Why do you care?” she asked.

“I just do.”

It was killing him not to take her in his arms like he wanted to right now. He was simultaneously angry with her and wanting to protect her. He needed her and he resented her for that.

“I have to take care of my mother. She’s all I have.”

“You also have a father who wants to make amends.”

Vivian rolled her eyes. “So he says.”

“I’ll go with you if you want.” He couldn’t believe the words that had just escaped his lips.

“You’re going to go with me?”

“Yes. I’ll reiterate again that he can’t be around my patient. Not while she’s in the hospital and a part of my trial.”

Relief etched across her face. “Thank you, but you don’t have to come with me.”

“Of course I do. We’re friends, aren’t we?”

“Are we?” she asked.

No.
He didn’t want to be her friend. He wanted to be more. So much more, but that was just impossible.

“Yes. Of course. You were the first person I told about my secret.”

“I appreciate it.”

“Come on, let’s get your mother down to CT while she’s sedated and then we’ll go down to the Dead End and see if we can find your father.”

“And what about your secret?”

“There’s no stopping it now. It’s out. I’ll just have to try and maintain my privacy the best I can.” He opened the door and they walked out of his office together.

“Did Andrew ask you to take part in your father’s anniversary show again?” she asked.

“He did and I gave him the same answer as I did last night, which was no.”

“Are you sure you don’t want to do that for your father?”

He frowned. “Do you really want to open up the father can of worms right now?”

“No. Okay, I’ll drop it. Let’s just get my mother’s scans done and see how bad it’s regressed.”

“If she falls below the five percent margin, she’s no longer allowed to be on the trial. I’m sorry.”

“I understand. Don’t be sorry.” Vivian sighed. “And I thought today was going to be an easy day.”

Reece chuckled. “Not here. It’s never an easy day, it seems.”

* * *

Vivian couldn’t get the conversation with her father out of her head. She still thought meeting him was a mistake, but at least she could reiterate to him that she had the medical power of attorney and that she didn’t want him visiting her mother. He’d already done enough damage.

Her mother was in a fragile state.

They wheeled her down to the CT scan and Vivian prayed that her mother hadn’t fallen below the margin, so that she could stay in Reece’s trial and benefit from the therapies in the other stages of the Alzheimer’s trial.

She stood next to Reece, staring at the computer, anxiously waiting for the brain scans to come up.

This was her father’s fault.

“Why did he show up?” Vivian muttered. “If he’d only kept away...”

“You can’t blame him,” Reece said. “Should he have shown up? Probably not, but you can’t blame him.”

And then she felt guilty for thinking that. How long had she been blaming her father? So long that it was habit.

Reece was right; this wasn’t her father’s fault. It was the disease that plagued her mother. And right now it was her mother who needed her focus.

Reece grounded her. Made her see all sides. She’d forgotten the effect he had on her. How much she’d missed it.

“Sorry.”

He smiled at her. “Don’t be sorry. I get it.”

She wanted to ask him why he got it, but her mother’s scans came up.

“Darn,” Reece whispered as he leaned over and looked at the scan. “I’m sorry, Vivian.”

Tears threatened to spill, but Vivian wouldn’t let them. “It’s okay. You said her condition was worsening at an exponential rate. There was nothing you could do. Thank you for giving her a chance in your trial.”

He tried to embrace her, but she shrugged him away.

Vivian told herself she didn’t need his comfort, even though deep down she knew she did. She wanted it. Craved it, but denied herself it.

“Are you okay?” he asked.

“I’m fine.” She took a deep breath. “I have to go finish up a couple things before I head to the Dead End.”

“Do you want to go together?”

She did but instead said, “You know what, I think I need to handle it on my own. It’ll be better if I just head over there by myself. You have your own problems to deal with.”

“If that’s what you want.”

“It is.” And she turned on her heel and left the CT room. If she let Reece come with her, then she would eventually succumb to him again and she couldn’t have that. She didn’t deserve the happiness it would bring and he didn’t deserve the fact that she would end up hurting him again, because she would.

She was too much her father’s daughter. She suddenly understood that now. Strong-willed and passionate. Working hard on what she believed in, even if that meant leaving behind the people you loved. And it rocked her to her very core.

I’m just like him.

She swallowed the knot of emotion welling up inside her. How could she be hard on her father when she too had left her mother alone, only visiting a few times in the past seven years because she was too busy with her career? And what good did that do? She couldn’t even diagnose Gary Trainer.