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“If I knew better, I’d leave, but thankfully I don’t know any better.” He cupped her face with his strong hands and kissed her, just like he’d kissed her the other night at his cabin at the lake. She melted into him this time, really melted into him. It had been so long since she’d felt this way. Even though she’d told herself time and time again over their years apart that she was over him. She wasn’t and she’d been a fool to try and think that she was.

Reece was the only man for her, but she’d ruined it and she would pay for that mistake the rest of her life. So for tonight she’d enjoy this stolen moment. She grabbed a hold of his flannel shirt and held it tight in her grasp, not wanting to let him go.

Reece’s hands left her cheeks to move down her back, teasing her. She arched her body, trying to get closer to him. He broke off the kiss and scooped her up in his arms, carrying her up the stairs toward her bedroom at the end of the hall. They didn’t need to say anything as they stood with their foreheads pressed together.

Vivian couldn’t remember wanting him this badly before, but in all the years she’d been away she’d thought of him like this. Close to her, his heart racing under her hand. She began to undo the buttons of his shirt, desperate to touch his skin, to run her hands over his chest. She wanted nothing between them.

He slipped out of his shirt and she raked her fingers across his hard, broad, muscular chest, letting her hands trail down to the belt of his jeans, pulling him against her. He grabbed her hands by the wrists, pulling them away to kiss her. Hungrily.

Reece’s kisses seared her flesh and she was completely lost to him as his lips trailed down her neck. His hands on her body, undressing her. When she was naked, he brought her to the bed and leaned over her.

She was a fool to deny herself this for so long.

He touched her everywhere, kissing her and making her want him. She arched up against him, her legs wrapped around his waist, clinging to him and begging him to take her. She wanted to forget, tonight. She wanted him to erase everything.

All she wanted was to be in this moment with him.

He moved away and slipped out of his jeans, coming back to the bed, settling between her thighs. They locked gazes as he thrust into her and she shed a tear, emotion overtaking her because though she’d accomplished so much these last seven years, her life was empty and lonely.

She hadn’t realized that until this moment, joined with Reece, and it scared her to come to realize in her own way that she loved him and loving him was a dangerous thing indeed and it terrified her.

As she climaxed he kissed her, tenderly wiping the tears from her eyes.

* * *

Reece propped himself on his elbow, watching her sleep. City lights were creeping through the slats of her blind, making her creamy-white skin look as if it was glowing. There was a blush to her cheeks and love bites on her neck, which made him smile.

When she’d walked back into Cumberland Mills he’d sworn to himself that this would never happen again but, try as he might, he was lost to her. He couldn’t keep away from her. Vivian still owned his heart.

He needed her and that scared him because he just wasn’t sure if he could trust her again to not leave and break his heart, but watching her sleep, her delicate hand on her chest, he knew that he would never want another woman as much as he wanted her.

He’d always wanted her.

There had never been another for him.

She had such control over him and it was terrifying because, really, what kind of life could he give her? He didn’t know how to be a husband and a father. His only example was his own father and that had been terrible.

“You’re nothing, Reece. Country music in your soul and you’re throwing it away for what? Nothing. You’re nothing.”

“I am something, Dad. I am. I’m a healer. When your talent is wasted away, you’ll be nothing. I’ll always be a doctor.”

“Get out of my house!”

“With pleasure.”

And those were the last words that he’d ever spoken to his father. He’d walked out of his father’s life and pursued his career in medicine. Yet now, looking back, he regretted it.

He wished he could go back and make amends with his father, but it was too late. His father was dead. There was no second chance for them.

Just like there was no second chance for him and Vivian.

Vivian deserved someone who could give her what she wanted. She hadn’t had a normal upbringing either, but at least her mother had been there for her. She loved her mother. They had a good relationship. Reece didn’t have that with either of his parents. His mother had been a vapid, washed-up country diva who died in a car crash after a night of drinking. He wasn’t even sure if his parents had ever truly loved each other and Reece didn’t know if he could even give love when he wasn’t sure what it was himself. Besides, he still wanted roots and Vivian never had. He couldn’t hold on to her. He couldn’t be the person to hold her back, no matter how much he wanted her.

There was a buzz and he sighed, realizing that his pager was going off. He got out of bed quietly and made his way to his discarded jeans, pulling out the pager to find he was getting called to the hospital to deal with an emergency.

He sighed with regret. If he left, this spell, this stolen moment with Vivian would end, but he had to go. He pulled on his clothes as quietly as he could, but she stirred.

“Where are you going?” she asked sleepily.

“There’s a trauma that’s come into the hospital.”

“I’ll go with you.”

“No, you need rest.”

She shook her head. “No, it’s fine. I want to check on my mother anyways. Let me come. I don’t want to be alone.”

He nodded. “Okay. Let’s go, then.”

She dressed quickly and they headed out to his truck. Vivian’s house wasn’t far from Cumberland Mills and they both changed into their scrubs once they’d arrived. Vivian went off to her mother’s room and he headed down to Emergency.

“Dr. Castle, he was demanding you look at him,” the trauma doctor on duty said. “It’s a stroke. I’ve started protocol for clot-busting medicine, but he won’t take it unless you came here to deal with him.”

Reece frowned and pulled back the curtain.

“Well, well. Look who finally showed up.” Vivian’s father was lying on the bed.

“Mr. Bowen, you need to take the medicine Dr. Hayden prescribed. You’re having a stroke and this will help reverse the damage.”

Hank just shook his head. “I haven’t touched liquor in years. She wouldn’t listen, you know. She wouldn’t hear me out when I tried to tell her that her mother and I made amends two years ago. I’m clean.” He tried to dig in his pocket and pulled out an AA chip, holding it up.

“Mr. Bowen, please take the medicine or I will have to restrain you.”

Hank threw the chip at him, but it didn’t get far as his left arm dropped like a sack of bricks and his eyes rolled into the back of his head. The monitor flatlined.

Reece cursed under his breath and pushed the alarm. “I need a crash cart in here stat!” He began CPR as Dr. Hayden lowered the bed flat.

He wasn’t going to let Mr. Bowen die before Vivian had a chance to make amends with her father. He wouldn’t let her suffer the way he did every day. He couldn’t let her live with the guilt of unfinished business with her father.

* * *

Vivian leaned over and kissed her mother on the cheek. Her mother opened her eyes and smiled. Vivian breathed an inward sigh of relief that her mother recognized her. She wasn’t sure her heart could take her mother calling her names and trying to assault her again.

“Vivian, what’re you doing here?”

She shrugged. “One of my patients has a surgery in a couple hours. A surgery I’m waiting results on. I couldn’t sleep so I thought I’d come see you.”

“That’s nice.” She closed her eyes. “Why was I sedated? The nurses said I was sedated when I woke up in the recovery room.”

“You had a very bad blip, Mama. I’m glad you don’t remember.” And she was. She didn’t want her mother to remember that her father had been in this room and that her mother had slapped her. It would hurt her mother to know that she’d done that.

“Oh, has it gotten worse?” Sandra asked.

Vivian nodded. “I’m so sorry, Mama. You’re no longer a candidate for the Alzheimer’s trial. As soon as Dr. Castle discharges you, you’ll have to go home.”

Her mother frowned. “I’m sorry.”

“There’s nothing to apologize for. It’s not your fault you have this disease.”

Sandra nodded. “So what will we do? Your job? You were looking for that promotion.”

Vivian shook her head. “Not anymore. I resigned from consideration. I’ll just drop down to part-time hours and focus on my research.”

“No, you can’t do that. Your career is important to you.” Sandra tried to sit up. “You gave up so much to obtain the career you deserved. The career you wanted. I’m so proud that you were able to follow your dreams when I couldn’t. Your job is too important and you can’t cut back.”

“You are important too, Mama. More important than any job.” She sighed. “When I’m at the hospital we’ll get a nurse in to help you.”

“I don’t need a nurse, Vivian.”

“You do, Mama. You...” She trailed off, but couldn’t hold it in anymore. “Dad was here.”

Her mother didn’t seem surprised by this. “Oh, he came back.”

“You don’t seem shocked by this. Mama, he hasn’t been around since I was ten.”

Sandra sighed. “No, he’s been around the last two years. He’s sober.”

“What?”

“He’s sober. I know his sponsor at AA. It took a lot of rebuilding, but he was the man I fell in love with once again.”

“He’s just looking for a handout.”

“No, darlin’, he’s not. I was going to tell you that night you came home. The night I had the blip.”

“Then where was he those first few weeks I was back in Nashville?”

“On tour. He’s still a musician, he still goes on tour. I was crushed when I got this diagnosis and I couldn’t go out on tour with him anymore.”

Vivian shook her head in disbelief. “How can you fall for this?”

“Fall for what? We’ve made our peace, Vivian.” Then her mother glared at her. “What did you do?”

“He wanted to talk to me and I didn’t want to hear it.”

“Vivian!”

She shook her head. “No. I don’t believe he’s changed. I saw him tonight. He was sweaty and slurring. He was using again.”

Her mother’s lips quivered. “I don’t believe you.”

“Trust me. That’s why I told him to stay away from you and as your power of attorney I’m going to make sure that happens.” Vivian didn’t want to discuss it further. Her mother was always easily duped by her father.

As she walked out into the hallway she bumped into Dr. Brigham.

“Dr. Brigham, I’m surprised to see you here in the middle of the night.”

“Yes, well, we had a long board meeting. I got your email withdrawing from consideration, and I wanted to ask what made you change your mind. I heard that you may have cracked Gary Trainer’s case.”

“I have some personal family reasons to withdraw. As you know, my mother has Alzheimer’s.” And it hit Vivian suddenly that she wasn’t a machine, that she had a purpose in life bigger than growing her career. When she’d first arrived she would have never considered withdrawing but, being with her mother again and realizing how important she was and how she’d neglected her, she’d come to see she didn’t want the position any longer.

“I respect that, Dr. Maguire. Keep me posted on Mr. Trainer’s condition.”

“Can I make a suggestion, Dr. Brigham?”

“Of course, Dr. Maguire.” He crossed his arms.

“I think the next chief should be Dr. Castle. I know he hasn’t thrown his hat in the ring, but he’s an excellent surgeon and a good diplomat. He cares about his patients. I think he’d be the right fit for the surgical program at Cumberland Mills.”

Dr. Brigham nodded. “Thank you, Dr. Maguire. I appreciate your thoughts.”

Vivian nodded and headed off to the on-call room to catch a nap before Gary’s bronchoscopy. She planned to be standing in that lab, watching them as they analyzed the biopsy. She wanted to be there the moment they found the teratoma and confirmed her suspicions that it was Lambert-Eaton Myasthenic Syndrome.

As she headed to the on-call room on the neurology floor Reece rounded the corner, his expression serious.

“Vivian, can you come with me?” He didn’t give her much of a choice as he took her arm and led her to an ICU room.

“What’s wrong—do you need a consult?”

He shook his head. “I need your permission to do a surgery on a stroke patient.”

“Why do you need...?” She trailed off as she looked into the ICU room and saw her father hooked up to machines.

A knot formed in her stomach as she stared at him there. “How did it happen?”

“He came in belligerent and demanding to see me.”

Vivian nodded. “Well, do what you have to do.”

“Is that all you have to say?” Reece asked, confused.

“What do you want me to say? Alcohol or drugs sent him in here with a stroke.”

“Vivian, he’s sober. We did a blood alcohol test to be sure. It’s zero and his tox screen came back negative.”

She shook her head. “I don’t believe it. I just can’t.”

“It would explain his irrational behavior from earlier tonight.”

It would, but she didn’t know what to think about it. Didn’t know if she could believe that her father had really changed.

“Fine—do the surgery.” She tried to leave but Reece stopped her.

“Why are you so angry at him?”

“Why are you so angry at your father?” Vivian snapped.

“It’s not just him. I’m mad at myself. He wanted to make amends and I ignored him, just like you’re doing right now, and I’m angry that he never loved me enough. Your father loves you, Vivian. I can see it.”

She shook her head. “It’s not the same thing. Your father was at least there. My father wasn’t. And you’re one to talk about making amends. You refuse to honor your father at the Opry for his anniversary. Now who’s the one holding grudges? You have no right to judge me.”

His eyes were like thunder. “You think my father was there? He wasn’t. He was too busy partying. I spent two years of my life without sunlight because my father insisted on partying the night away and sleeping all day. But even in spite of that I still hate myself for ignoring him when he reached out to me. Don’t blow it, Vivian. Don’t walk away from him. You have two parents who love you.”