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Keep telling yourself that.

CHAPTER TWO

“
W
ELL
,
I
NEVER
thought I’d see your face here again.”

Startled, Vivian glanced up to see Reece standing in the door of her office, his arms crossed and leaning casually against the doorjamb. Those dark eyes were trained on her, but the sparkle he once shared with her was gone. Still, he was just as handsome as ever. Something about him made her heart beat just a bit faster. She’d thought that being apart from him would dissipate the attraction she’d always had for him. She was wrong.

So wrong.

Which was probably why any relationship she’d had since had been fleeting and not worth a second glance because now, staring at Reece, she knew no man could ever affect her the way Reece had.

She hadn’t heard him come into her office but, then again, he always had a way of sneaking up on her, or nurses, or doctors. As if he moved at the edge of the shadows, unnoticed until he wanted to be seen.

When she’d asked him about it once he’d said offhandedly he’d learned to do that as a child, but never really elaborated further on that. Of course, Reece never did elaborate much on his past. She only knew he was from Nashville. That was it. And she never went on about her past. All he knew was she grew up on the wrong side of the tracks and he didn’t. Though he’d never specified and that was the way they wanted it.

“Past is past, Vivian. Let’s focus on the now.”

“Neither did I,” she answered, folding her hands on the desk in front of her as if that would help protect her from him. “I am surprised to see
you’re
still here...”

“Well, I wasn’t offered a chance to study under Dr. Mannheim.” There was a hint of bitterness to his voice, but really she wasn’t surprised. Over the years working as Dr. Mannheim’s protégée she’d dealt with a lot of people who were envious of her position.

People who also voiced their opinions that she didn’t deserve it.

That she didn’t earn it.

That she’d slept her way in, but none of that was true. They would know it wasn’t true if they met Dr. Mannheim’s life partner.

Still, there was always an undercurrent of jealousy. Working with Dr. Mannheim had been a huge honor and she wasn’t sorry for taking it. She’d needed to get away from Nashville. She had to protect her heart.

“You could’ve had a similar opportunity, but you never pursued anything. In fact I’m surprised to see you still here. I thought you would’ve moved away. Find a greener pasture for your surgical skill to flourish.”

Reece’s eyes narrowed. “I was needed here. I never wanted to leave Nashville. As I recall, you were the one who was ready to leave this place at a moment’s notice. Greener pastures never impressed me much.”

“I didn’t come back here to argue with you,” Vivian said. “I don’t regret leaving. I came here to work.”

His expression was like thunder and she instantly regretted her words. Reece shut the door and then took a seat in the one and only chair that didn’t have a ton of papers or a box on it.

“Of course. You’re right, Vivian. Whether we like it or not, we’re working together on this. Past is past. Let’s focus on the now and our patient.”

She nodded, relieved but also disappointed...

What was that about?

She was here to work, not dredge up the past. Coming back home to Nashville was bad enough; she didn’t need old feelings getting in the way.

“So why don’t we get to work, then?” she asked.

“Sure,” he said, leaning back in the chair. “What would you like to talk about?”

“Why don’t you fill me in on Mr. Trainer’s case?”

“Signs and symptoms point to Parkinson’s, but...”

“His test came back negative, I take it?”

Reece nodded. “Yes, even though really it’s too soon to tell and hard to diagnose Parkinson’s in the early stages.”

“Do you know when the symptoms first started? Has he given you a history?”

Reece nodded. “He did and the symptoms only started out of the blue the other day when he collapsed on stage. That was two days ago.”

“Sudden onset?” she asked, confused, as the thousands of possibilities swirled in her brain.

“Yes. He collapsed during a performance with what looked like an epileptic seizure. As you can tell from his MRI.” Reece handed her a computer pad, an MRI on the screen. “It’s clear of epileptic seizure activity.”

Vivian stared at the MRI, instantly assessing the images in front of her, like she’d done a thousand times before. Like she’d done about three months ago when her mother’s MRI showed up in her inbox and she could see the clear markers for early onset Alzheimer’s.

“Don’t you worry about me, baby girl. You stay in Germany. Finish your trial. Your work is important.”

It was the tone which had scared her. The shake in her mother’s voice behind the facade of happiness. The same tone she’d used that terrible night Vivian had found her mother bleeding on the kitchen floor. So even though her mother had said she was okay, Vivian knew she wasn’t.

Vivian owed it to her mother to come back home. Her mom had been her only constant in her life. She had sacrificed so much so Vivian could create a future for herself—so she didn’t have to rely on someone else. That was what her mom had always said. In other words, a life where she didn’t have to rely on a man.

“You don’t need a man, Vivian. You’re smart, talented. Don’t let anyone hold you back.”

Her mom’s words had made her decide to go to Germany in the first place. She had wavered over it and for one brief moment she’d thought about putting down roots with Reece. Her mother had changed her mind.

She was very well aware that her mother’s singing career had been held back by her father. A father who couldn’t even be bothered to stick around. Her mother gave up a huge contract because Vivian’s father had been jealous of his wife’s success and then when he was offered a gig he was gone.

And that was the last they saw of him and their savings.

She couldn’t leave her mother high and dry. She couldn’t let her mother, who had early onset Alzheimer’s, live out the rest of her life in a rundown facility while she was halfway across the world.

Vivian might be cutthroat when it came to her career, but she loved her mother. Loved her enough to come back to Nashville.

“Vivian, you okay?”

She shook her head, chasing those thoughts away. “Sorry?”

“You zoned out. I thought perhaps you saw something I might’ve missed,” Reece said, a hint of concern in his voice. She didn’t deserve him. Never had.

“No, sorry. Jet lag.” She passed the tablet back to Reece. “I think I would like another MRI done and an EEG monitor for a forty-eight hour period. Perhaps we can force a seizure in a controlled and monitored environment.”

Reece nodded. “Sounds good, but how do you propose we do that when we don’t know what triggered it?”

“You said he had a seizure on stage at the concert, right?”

“Yes, he did.”

“How about we start with flashing lights, dark room and loud music?”

A small grin crept across Reece’s face. It was good to see him smile. “Good thinking. I’ll get my team of residents on it.”

“Thanks. I’m glad you have the team of residents so readily at your disposal.” It was so easy to talk to him about medicine. She’d forgotten. It was how they’d first connected. How he’d gotten through her defenses.

“Well, all the surgeons do. It’s just I’ve been using them more often for my Alzheimer’s trial study.”

Vivian perked up. “Alzheimer’s study?”

Reece nodded. “Yes, I have a trial running now with some medication therapy and electrotherapy with EEG monitoring for brain activity. I just started it.”

“Have you found all your participants?” Vivian asked.

Reece frowned and cocked an eyebrow. “Why are you so interested?”

“Don’t get on the defensive. Alzheimer’s is not my specialty. I was merely making conversation.”

Reece stared at her in disbelief, but then relaxed. “Yes, my trial is currently full. There is a large pool of people suffering from early onset Alzheimer’s who are more than willing to participate.”

Vivian tried not to show her disappointment, but really it was to be expected. Alzheimer’s trials filled up quickly.

“So not interested in Alzheimer’s, but here to take Dr. Brigham’s job?” he asked.

The question caught her off guard. “Who told you that?”

“I’m not obtuse, Vivian. I know that’s why you’ve come back to Nashville. Why else would you leave Mannheim’s practice?”

“For your information, I outgrew Mannheim’s practice. I wanted to branch out and expand my horizons further. Start my own trial, perhaps, and I couldn’t do that in Munich.”

“Why Nashville?”

“Why does it matter?” Vivian snapped. She didn’t want him to know about her mother. No one needed to know that, but really if her mother hadn’t been so sick she wouldn’t have come back.

“It matters. So, why Nashville?”

“Why not?”

“Only because you were so hell-bent on leaving. You left like a thief in the night. I don’t even remember getting to say goodbye. All I got was a note.”

She saw the anger in him. The hurt. She couldn’t blame him. She knew leaving like that would hurt him. It was a burden that she had to bear to protect herself.

The one time he’d really opened up ever, just after their first time, he said words which stuck with her to this day.

“I’ve lived a life of constant change. I want permanence. I want roots. Roots here in Nashville.”

He wanted something she didn’t and couldn’t give him.

“I thought past was in the past? Focus on the now, remember?”

Reece stood up, his expression hard and cold. His jaw clenched tight. “Right. You’re right.”

“I’m sorry my coming back is hard on you, Dr. Castle, but I’m here to stay and we have to work together so I suggest we make the best of it.”

“Fine.” Only she had a feeling it wasn’t.

“Fine,” she said.

“It’s not like you’ll be here that long anyways,” he snapped.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” It was like a slap to the face. Reminding her again that she’d left him behind, making her feel the guilt more keenly than ever.

Reece shrugged. “I mean once you don’t get the job, Dr. Brigham’s job, you’ll leave.”

“Who says I won’t?”

“I wish I had your confidence, but you’re going against tough competition. Old money, connections, things you don’t have here.” It was as if Reece was using all her old fears to scare her now. To get her to leave. Well, she was stronger now.

Vivian crossed her arms. “I’ve never been one to back down from a challenge. And even if I don’t get it, who says I’ll leave?”

Reece snorted. “You will. You’ll move on to greener pastures. Isn’t that what sharks do?”

The words haunted her because that was what Dr. Brigham had taught her. That was how she’d acted for so long as she’d fought to get surgeries as a resident.

“I’m not a shark.”

Not anymore.

She cleared her throat. “I’m here to explore the potential of a trial on autism, if you must know. One I couldn’t start in Germany. Just part of my working here was working with you on this case because I am one of the best diagnostician neurosurgeons in Europe, next to Mannheim.”

He smirked. “So you’re not after Dr. Brigham’s job?”

Vivian shook her head. “Yes, I am. I have aspirations on Dr. Brigham’s job. Who wouldn’t?”

* * *

Me.

Only Reece kept that thought to himself. No one needed to know he had no desire or plans to run. He had no aspirations on Dr. Brigham’s job. He preferred being on the front line. He liked the OR too much. He didn’t like the spotlight or the PR aspects of running a surgical program. He didn’t crave the spotlight like his parents did. Most people would think so, but he didn’t. He abhorred it. That was why he didn’t use his real surname. Why he’d changed Castille to Castle when he was eighteen. He wanted to hide the fact he was the son of country music royalty. He didn’t want people to know that his father was Ray Castille, one of the biggest artists to grace the halls of the Grand Ole Opry. His mother, Edna, had been a model and preferred the jet-setting lifestyle and Hollywood over him and his father, to be honest. Wealth, fame and prestige destroyed lives.

Ruined people.

The limelight wasn’t for him.

He hated the attention, the world he’d grown up in. Wealth and glamour did not lead to a normal childhood. So he avoided attention as much as he could. Privacy was what he wanted, though if his Alzheimer’s trial was successful that could change. Bringing in money.

And maybe then he could help more people who couldn’t afford health care or specialists.

Don’t think about it.

“I’m sorry. Really, your reasons for returning aren’t my concern. I was just...I was surprised to see you,” Reece apologized.

She was going to say something more when his pager buzzed. It was a code blue on Gary. He turned on his heel and ran. He could hear Vivian following him.

“What is it?” she shouted behind him.

“Code blue,” he shouted back over his shoulder.

As soon as he came into the room the nurse began to fill him in. It was a seizure, but one that seemed to be affecting Gary’s heart as well. It was strange, both monitors showing his cardiac and neurological distress.

Vivian didn’t ask any questions. She just dove right in, ordering medicine and keeping calm as she rapidly fired off instructions beside him. Just like the good old days.

“His pulse ox is down. He can’t breathe,” she shouted over the alarms. “Why is he not getting enough oxygen?”

I don’t know.
Only he didn’t say that out loud as he pulled over the crash cart. They worked together over Gary like they’d worked together a long time ago. As if no time had passed at all.

He’d forgotten how calm and collected she was. How she grounded him. How she grounded the whole room in an emergency situation. He’d missed that.