1 low-temperature massage candle (like the JimmyJane Afterglow Body Wax Massage Candle, at
www.thepleasurechest.com
. You can also watch their how-to-video on how to play with hot wax.)
12 or more candles
large bath towels
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I
T SOUNDED SO KINKY.
It looked so sensual in the movies. I couldn’t wait to try it. And when I did—OW! Ouch ouch ouch OUCH!
Damn
, that hurt. This is supposed to be sexy?!
Turns out I was an idiot. I didn’t do it right the first time. But
you
will. And your partner will learn what I finally did—that there is some extraordinary pleasure to be found in playing with hot wax.
Lots of erotic books and movies feature a scene where a man holds a burning candle and lets melted wax slowly drip onto the skin of his lover. Hot, slippery goo; a hint of S&M? Wow. Yes. That makes me tingle. And I’m not the only woman turned on by those scenes. I wrote about it in my
iVillage.com
column, and got rave responses from hundreds of women, who all thought it was an awesome fantasy. But reality turned out to be trickier than I had imagined. That’s because regular candle wax melts at way too high a temperature. Those drops burn, baby! And when they cool, they stick to your body hairs like bubble gum. My first attempt was a complete mess. And did I mention the
ouch
?
But there are candles specially made to burn at low temperatures. The melted wax is deliciously warm to the touch, but not too hot. My favorite kind is the Afterglow Massage Candle by JimmyJane, created specifically for sex play. The wax is not just body-friendly, it actually melts into a natural massage oil.
As always, you should start with something that will grab your girl’s attention. Early in the week, put a regular candle in an envelope and leave it on her car seat. Or put it in her bathroom sink, or in her purse, just to make her curious about your plans. When the weekend arrives, spring your surprise. Bring her to the bedroom, which is glowing by the light of a dozen candles, including your new massage candle. “
One of these candles is special
,” you tell her. “Y
ou’ll get a nice treat if you can figure out which one.
”
It’s okay to give her some hints. Because the real secret isn’t finding the candle, it’s what comes next. Spread a couple of big towels on the bed, and ask her to sit down. Tell her to stick out her arm. Gently grasp her wrist with one hand, and pick up your massage candle with the other. Hold it several inches over her forearm, and then—slowly, dramatically—pour a few drops onto her skin.
Did her eyes pop? I’ll bet they did. It’s a startling thing to witness. It requires much trust, because she instinctively fears the flame and the sting. But the drops don’t hurt. They feel
good
. Especially when you rub the waxy lotion into her skin, massaging her wrist and working out the tension in her hand and fingers.
Now that she is comfortable with the candle, ask her to undress and lie down on her stomach. Here comes the best part. Dribble a few drops of the luscious melted wax and spread it across her back. Let the heat soak in while you massage it into her skin.
Wow
.
Knead the tension out of her neck and shoulders. As the candle burns down, pour out more hot drops. Polish her skin. Work the kinks out of her back, then move down to her thighs and bottom. Take your time; the massage candle can burn for a long time. And in the end, it’s not really gone. You’ve just transferred all of its heat into
her.
And what do suppose she is going to do with all that fire?
I think she’s going to light your wick.
This is the end of this chapter.
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1 dresser or desk
1 pillow
1 e-mail asking her to bring 2 nickles to the bedroom
anything
that will make her quiver
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H
OW MANY EROGENOUS ZONES DO YOU HAVE?
Other than
that
one, I mean. (Although I have to admit, that’s one heckuva great zone.)
Besides the obvious places, the human body can find pleasure in dozens of spots. With the right attention, almost any inch of skin can be tantalized, tickled and turned on. This week, you’re going to devote an evening to finding as many ways as possible to make your lover quiver.
She’s going to show up at the bedroom door wondering why your e-mail asked her to bring
two shiny nickels
. “Oh, it’s the price of admission to my new game,” you can tell her as you take the coins. “It requires a bit of skin, though....” Help her undress, and once she is down to her panties and bra, put a pillow on the dresser and invite her to bend over it. She should be quite comfortable like this: legs straight and slightly apart, arms and head resting on the pillow. “Here’s the game. I’m going to put one nickel on the back of each wrist. Let’s see how long you can keep them there!” Ah, now that’s a challenge! She has to stay perfectly still – while you use every erotic trick you know to make her tremble. Count out loud every time a coin falls and has to be put back in place.
Now touch her. Touch her everywhere, and always in at least two places at once. Sometimes you’ll use the
Hover Massage
, a technique where your hands grazes only her fine body hair, sending tingles of static electricity into her skin. Try this:
After a while, move her to the bed, face up, arms at her sides. Keep counting every time she trembles enough to knock a coin off her wrists, while you:
Here’s a technique that may bounce those nickels off your ceiling! Gently press your palm into her
Mons Veneris
, the little bulge where her pubic hair grows. Pull her flesh in small, slow circles with your palm. As the skin of her mons slides around, it stretches all those lovely, sexually charged nerves in her lips and clitoris. After half a minute, stop your tender tugging, lift your fingers, and tap them against her vaginal lips. Tap... tap... tap... lightly, once or twice per second.
Ten taps, then rub your palm in ten circles. Tap again, then massage with your hand. Repeat until she melts. I call it
Palm Reading, Laura Corn Style
. Because it’s easy to read her reaction to your palm; she’ll be gasping and moaning and visibly struggling to keep those nickels in place.
Game over. How many times has she dropped them? “Ooooh, that’s the number of favors you’re going to do for me,” you whisper as you climb on top of her, filling her soaked and aching, desperate-for-climax little hole. “One coin, one sexual favor. You’re in debt right now, but don’t worry. You get to knock the nickels off me next time....”
Until then, you’ve got some decisions to make. You won, so what are you going to claim for your reward? Maybe you should toss a coin:
Heads or tails?
This is the end of this chapter.
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1 bottle of sex lubricant
3 pillows
1 pair of soft handcuffs or nylon rope
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T
HIS WEEK’S LESSON IS ABOUT
the power of restraint.
Not for you. No, you won’t be holding anything back. It’s your lover who’s going to find out that pleasure is at its most intense when she is utterly unable to control it. That means you have to take control. You’re The Boss.
And you’ll make that clear right up front when you send her this text message: “Your pleasure is in my hands. Meet me in the bedroom tonight and be prepared to lose control.”
Be strong. Silent. Unstoppable. Start lifting her shirt off, and then—when her arms are straight up and the shirt has slid past her mouth (but is still covering her eyes like a blindfold)—stop. Kiss her harder. Use one hand to pin her raised arms against the wall, and use your other to unzip her pants. Don’t let her move while you run your fingers through that trim little patch under her panties.
Now that you’ve established that you’re running tonight’s show, lead her to the bed. Pull off the rest of her clothes. Reach under your pillow and pull out your hidden surprise: a soft nylon rope or a pair of soft Velcro cuffs. Tell her to cross her wrists in front, and then loop the rope around them. Not too tight. This isn’t about fear or force. It’s about permission. She has to allow herself to give in, to be taken, to be used for your pleasure. Thanks to
Fifty Shades of Grey
, she’s imagined using restraints like these—to her they’re like props in a play and will allow her to slip into her fantasy of being the star of her own best-selling book.
Tell her to kneel on the edge of the bed, face down on the sheets. She’s going to be in this position for a while, so make sure she’s comfortable by piling some pillows underneath her. Tell her how much you like her ass. Tell her to spread her legs wider, so you can see more of it. Give her a little assistance, cop-style; nudge her knees apart to show her you mean business. And if she’s slow about it, a light smack will get her attention and warm her cheeks.
Now start to have fun. Cover your hands with lube, and let your slippery fingers roam. Keep telling her how much you love this view, how you think about it all the time, even at work. Go ahead, talk nasty. Keep massaging her with your slick hands, pulling her lips apart, teasing her clit. Slide in a finger. Two fingers. Oh, and this will send her over the top: put your lube-soaked fingers over her G-spot and your thumb against her clitoris, and start to circle both at the same time. Can you feel each one getting harder, swelling up against your fingers? Can you see that beautiful ass bouncing as she rocks her way to an orgasm?
Can you figure out what to do next? I thought you could.
This is the end of this chapter.
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