101 Nights of Great Sex (27 page)

The perfect boyfriend is somebody who’s really funny and easygoing but knows how to take control when needed. It’s nice to have a man who can just tell you to calm down and chill out... and then throw you on the bed!

M
ILLA
J
OVOVICH

Star of
Resident Evil, The Fifth Element
, and several other movies that require a stunning, barely-dressed actress who can kick butt.

Relationships are mostly about compromise. A little give-and-take keeps things running smoothly around the house. But when it comes to the bedroom, most women have a secret fantasy about a guy who’s more take than give; a strong man who tells her what to do, and does what he wants. She doesn’t want to
live
with that guy! He’s kind of a jerk. But she does want to bang him every once in a while.

So this week, take command. Start by kissing, and then move into wrestling. Don’t wait for her to get naked—strip her. No lovey-dovey talk tonight.

Instead, tell her you think she’s hot; tell her you’re going to
do
her. Tell her to stand up, fingers laced behind her head, feet slightly apart,
now
. And just for emphasis... give her a little love-smack right on the ass.

Now play with her. Run your hands and your mouth over her body, and if she moves, remind her that you haven’t given her permission yet. Hmmm, is another little spanking in order?

Order her into the Position of Submission: kneeling on the bed, bottom up, face down. Oh, yeah, you can have some fun here. You know where she keeps her vibrator, right? Hand it to her, and tell her to use it while you watch. It’s a good thing her face is buried in the sheets, because she’s lost in a fantasy—a sexual servant forced to perform for an audience. Let her press the toy against her clit for just a few moments, then... tell her to stop. Your turn again, to spank her, lick her, nip at her cheeks with your teeth. Order her to start with the vibe again, and watch as she gets wetter and wetter. Make her stop again; it’s time for some more butt-play.

Mix up your commands so she’s never quite sure what’s coming next: a pop on the bum, or a ride on the toy. She’s about to climax, but it’s clear who’s really in control of her orgasm. It’s you.

And you’re about to go for a ride yourself. Enter her from behind. Smack her bottom even harder, but now just with your hips as you pump in and out. Tell her to hold that vibrator hard against her clit, hard enough so that you can feel the tingle as it courses through her. And issue your final order:

Come.

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T
HE MOST EXCITING THINGS
in the world are, at their core, about
loss of control
. Roller coasters, falling in love, orgasms—they are thrilling because we can’t stop them or steer them. Once they start, we can only go along for the ride, and hope we can catch our breath when they’re over.

I dare you to take your sweetie on an erotic thrill ride this week. You already have the most critical ingredient—a shower—and the rest can be found at the drug store for a few bucks. Start by setting out a few candles in your bathroom, and turning on the shower. Tell her you have a surprise for her...
but she has to get in the shower first.
Let her soak under the hot spray while you prepare the rest of your surprises.

The first is a blindfold. It’s actually just white cotton gauze, the kind used for first aid, and it’s perfect for this shower surprise. It’s light and easy to handle in the water, and it doesn’t completely block out light. She will squirm with delight as you wrap the gauze slowly around her eyes. She’ll still sense the flickering of the candles in the dim room.

But it moves her one step further from reality, and another step away from control.

The second surprise is a lovely, fresh aroma. Don’t tell her what it is. Just step in the shower and let her smell your bottle of ultra-rich, moisturizing in-shower body lotion. It’s not soap; it’s a special lotion that goes on in the shower, and it’s smooth and slippery and smells like heaven. Use it like massage oil. Apply it to her hot, wet skin and rub it in. Concentrate on the muscles of her shoulders and neck.

And now, for surprise number three. Just outside the shower, you hid a cup of ice. By now, the ice cubes have melted into smooth, round chips. Reach out of the shower, pick up a small ice cube, and press it against your lover’s skin while she is still standing under the stream of hot water.
Gasp!

The ice is startling, but not painful, not in a steaming shower. Slide the cube along her skin. Play with it until it melts away. And then... pour out another handful of body lotion and spread it over her glistening skin. Just as she begins to relax, it’s time for another touch of shocking cold, this time right under one breast. Draw the melting cube in a spiral right up to her nipple. After more wet heat, run another ice cube down her back, and between the cheeks of her bottom, and right through her thighs to her clitoris. Alternate, hot and cold, steam and frost. Her pulse is running faster, her breath a little shallower. She can barely see, so she’s never quite sure what’s coming next—more heat, more massage, or more chill. She’s totally out of control now. She can do nothing but go along for the ride, and trust you to take her right to the edge of pleasure...

And push her over.

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I love wet sex. Sex in the pool, sex in the bath, sex in a hot tub. And it’s not just me. Every woman I know says she enjoys it more when there’s water involved. Partly that’s because we know we look good, all glistening and moist, like some beer commercial come to life. And sure, the whole slip-n-slide angle makes it fun.

But mostly it’s because we really, really like to be clean and fresh when we’re about to start bumping our tingly parts against yours. And you know what? We really like it when
you’re
shiny and well-scrubbed, too. Clean enough to eat off of.

But this encounter goes beyond just wet. It’s
sloppy
, and that’s why you need to make sure you’re stocked up on great big bath towels this week. Sunday night, send your woman to the shower, and while she’s in there, go get all the towels you can carry and bring them to the bathroom. Fetch a sturdy chair, too. Spread the towels everywhere, across the chair and the countertops. Finally, get undressed, join her in the shower... and hand her a giftwrapped present.

It’s a new bottle of shampoo, strawberry- scented. Her mood will shift from shocked—
he brought me a giftwrapped package in the shower!
—to surprised—
hey, he bought me a gift
—and finally to totally seduced, after you offer to wash her hair. Let me tell you, this is one truly erotic sensation for a woman. It’s luxurious, it’s sensual, it’s hot, and she’s probably going to want to do you right then and there — but be patient. I promise, it’ll be worth the wait.

Now lather. Rinse. Repeat. And then lead her out of the shower into the hot, steamy bathroom. Write a message on the mirror with your finger: “I Want You”. Then take her. Dripping wet. Soaked through. Slick and steamy and drenched with water. Don’t dry off; the towels are there only for cleanup and for cushioning. Do it on the chair and on the counter. Do it in the tub and on the floor. Do it until the whole room is splattered and wet. And keep doing it until...

...well, until you both need to jump in the shower again.

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“I
F YOU EXPERIENCE AN ERECTION LASTING LONGER THAN FOUR HOURS...”

...Call your buddies and tell them how! Seriously, though, what if I told you there are men who
can
last that long, and without any little blue pills? And, no surprise, their partners are
very
happy.

The simple secret to stamina is Tantra. Tantric sex takes years to master, but relax; I’m not sending you to yoga class... yet. This week I’m teaching you a five-minute breathing technique that is virtually guaranteed to give you and your lover the orgasms of the century, no blue pills required.

It’s simple:
Breathe in and out through your nose.
Try it now, by yourself. You automatically have to breathe more slowly and controlled, right? You breathe more deeply. Hey, look at that, you’re already more relaxed. Keep breathing like that for five minutes. That’s it.

That’s it?
Yes, but it takes two to tango and you’ll need a partner. This week you’re going to practice that breathing technique in
three different positions
with your girl. After fifteen minutes, your neighbors will be wishing for earplugs.

Titillate her each day with a link or video from
www.tantra.com
. Make sure to send her an article on the definition of Tantra, one about breathing (there are several), and one or two different techniques you’re interested in. She’ll definitely be intrigued, and will take a peek around for herself. Keep it
simple
; this interlude is to give you both a taste of Tantra and whet your appetites for more.

On Friday send her an email from work:
I’ve been really getting into this Tantra stuff. What do you say we practice Tantric breathing together? Tomorrow at 9?
She’ll be excited and more than ready for your exotic surprise.

Here’s how you get ready:

•   Take a shower (women love a clean man)

•   Draw her a bath with her favorite bath oil (or try a few drops of
Nag Champa
oil; its exotic, peppery scent is
made
for deep inhalations)