12-Alarm Cowboys (77 page)

She answered by sucking in a breath and clutching his back as he gave equal time to each of her gorgeous nipples, too perked and tempting to ignore. He was beginning to realize it was more than her body that tempted him. It was the whole package. Everything. Her sweet smile, kind heart, hot sighs, needy little moans.

He kissed a path up to her neck, tasting and sampling, enjoying her squirms and sighs with equal pleasure. She was truly exquisite. He didn’t think he was ever going to stop needing her. She was under his skin but good.

“How do you do it?”

He stopped and drew back. “Do what?”

“Make me crazy with need two seconds after I was so relaxed I’d nearly became one with the mattress.” Gwen couldn’t believe her body was already heating and aching to have Tanner inside.

The sexy cowboy smiled down at her, his eyes deliciously dark with need. “Just following your lead.”

If that was his way of saying she was wanton, he was correct. Something she should probably be embarrassed about, but she wasn’t. After all, it was the truth. She wanted Tanner. Couldn’t get enough of the hot cowboy. His touch made her feel things she’d never felt before, things she liked way too much not to indulge.

Gwen trailed her hands down the sinewy muscles of his back to cup his fine ass. “Then you probably know what I want now.”

And in case he didn’t, she nipped at his shoulder and rocked her hips.

“I believe I can help you.” His voice was as unsteady as the pulse throbbing at the base of his neck.

Using his knee, the clever man pushed her legs open, then bent down and drew her nipple into his mouth while the head of his erection teased her aching center.

Hot damn.

He was so thick and hard she could barely hold back her moan; she’d done way too much moaning already.

When he released her nipple and stared down at her, his gaze was warm and open, showing her honest, pure emotion. He wanted her. Needed her. And not just sexually. Gwen almost didn’t know what to do with that. How to respond to a real emotion, not something faked to get her to perform to their satisfaction.

This was different.

So different.

So much more.

She felt light. Beautiful. Accepted and needed.

He slowly lowered his mouth to hers, kissing her softly at one corner, then the other, bringing tears to her eyes with the tender caress. Now, she felt cherished. No one had ever cherished her before. It felt incredible, like some of the smudges on her heart had washed away.

She cupped his face, and kissed him back, starting at one corner, then the other, basking in the warmth of his gaze. When he looked at her like that, she felt new.

Reborn.

“Gwen,” he whispered, kissing her over and over again, longer and deeper each time.

Oh man, could he kiss. He was a master, sending heat low in her belly as she trembled with desire. She was on the brink again, nearing that blissful edge only Tanner could find.

He broke the kiss and drew back, staring into her eyes as he drove inside with one sure, delectable thrust. She cried out, uncaring how needy she sounded. He felt too damn good.

“So right,” he said, eyes closed, muscles bunching in his neck. “I thought I’d imagined it last time.”

Then his eyes were open, staring down at her as he began to move. She clutched at his hips, thrilling at the sexy damn sound rumbling in his throat.

He grabbed her hips and drove in deeper. “So damn good.”

She wasn’t going to last. “Tanner…” she panted. She was so close.

“I’m with you.” He bent down to kiss her lips, before he straightened his elbows and increased the pace.

Harder. Faster.

It was too good. She flew apart, climaxing hard as she clutched his hips, and held tight. He followed her over, body hot and slick with sweat as he drove deep and came with her name on his lips.

When she returned to her body, and the ringing in her ears subsided, she worked on getting air into her lungs. Tanner had collapsed on her, breathing heavy and ragged.

He lifted up and smiled. “Amazing,” he said, dipping down to kiss her nose, before he rolled off the bed and disappeared into the bathroom.

Déjà vu filtered through her mind, bringing with it their short escapade in the Poconos. This was the point where she’d fled, scrambling into her clothing on the way out the door.

Not this time.

Hell no.

She was right where she wanted to be. They’d shared a whole hell of a lot more than their bodies just now. It hadn’t been planned. Just sort of happened, and as scary as it all was, she was going to ride it out. Stay put. Not run. Take a chance.

Nodding, she smiled at the ceiling and worked to get her breathing under control. He was right. That—whatever
that
was—
had
been amazing. Something had made it different, but she had no idea what the something was, only that it had to do with Tanner and the way he made her feel…and the way he felt about her.

He returned a minute later and crawled back in bed, tucking her against his warm body. “I’m going to take that smile to mean you agree. You were amazing.” He kissed her head.

“Me?” She twisted to glance up at him. “That was not all me, Tanner. You were the reason that was so good.”

He shook his head and squeezed her shoulder. “
We
were the reason that was good. We’re good together.”

“I agree.” She smiled and settled back down, snuggling close to his warm, naked body, and yawned. “I think it’s probably a good thing I don’t have work until Monday.”

“Yeah? Why?”

“Because you wore me out.” She chuckled. Then yawned again, so completely relaxed and utterly satiated. “I think I could sleep for days.”

And the last thought she had as her eyes fluttered closed was she never felt so absolute, so whole. And she liked it.

Tanner woke up,
blissfully aware of the soft, naked body wrapped around him.

Gwen
.

He smiled, enjoying the feel of her curves lightly brushing his body as she breathed steadily in her sleep.

This was the part where he detangled himself, shoved his body back in his clothes on his way out the door. Two times with a woman was his limit. His all-time rule. One he never broke. Ever. One that had always kept him safe, and out of trouble.

One he was tossing out the window.

It wasn’t needed. Not this time.

But Gwen was. He needed her, and twice with the incredible woman was nowhere near enough. Hell, he didn’t think he’d ever get enough. And that was okay. He got it now. He understood what Kade and Jace had gone through. What had made them take the plunge and tread into monogamist waters. In the past, that was one pool he’d avoided like the plague. Had never wanted to enter. Hell, he never had an interest in it before.

But he did now. With Gwen.

The thought of walking away, never touching her again, never kissing her again, watching her with someone else twisted his gut something fierce. Those thoughts never bothered him with other women.

Because he didn’t have feelings for them.

He did for Gwen.

Although this realization scared the shit out of him, he wasn’t about to walk away. He wanted to see where this took him.

“Hey, you,” she said, stretching her luscious body. “What time is it? Or should I ask, what day?”

He chuckled, rolling so he was on top of her. “It’s two o’clock Saturday afternoon.”

“Oh, good.” A wicked smiled tugged her lips, while her hands trailed down his back, then slapped his ass. “That means I can get me more of this.”

“You’re not too tired?” he asked, kissing her neck and growing hard as she rocked her hips.

Witch.

After sleeping several solid hours, they’d woken up famished, and headed to the kitchen. There was nothing finer than sitting buck naked at the table, eating left over pizza, getting glimpses of pert nipples through a curtain of long, golden hair.

That had led to spreading the sexy woman out and testing the integrity of the table while he took his sweet nature time exploring the world of Gwen. By the time they’d finished and crawled back to bed, dawn had peeked through the blinds.

“Nope.” She pushed at his shoulder and flipped them around so she was sitting on him.

Once again, he got a glimpse of her glorious breasts, peeping through her golden hair. He reached up and brushed a thumb over the tempting buds. She slapped his hands away.

“Soon. Not yet. I can’t think when you touch me, and I wanted to ask you something,” she said, gaze turning serious.

“Okay.” He shoved his hands behind his head and held her gaze. “Ask away.”

“I wanted to know about Chrissie.”

His pulse quieted down. He hadn’t expected her to say that. He’d thought she was going to ask his intentions or demand he make a claim or something. Not ask about Barry’s daughter.

“How did she die?”

He could still see Barry’s face when he’d found out. Tanner had been with him at the fire station when the news flashed on the TV. “On vacation, in a plane crash.”

“How awful. I’m sorry.” Compassion filled Gwen’s eyes as she stared down at him. “Were you seeing her at the time?”

He shook his head and trailed a finger up her arm. “No. We were never an item.”

She frowned. “But…I thought. Barry said—”

“Chrissie asked me to pretend to go out with her so she could sneak to see her
girlfriend
in the next county.” He waited for his meaning to sink in.

“Oh…
Oh
.”

“Yeah.” He sighed.

Chrissie hadn’t thought her father would understand. Tanner had tried to tell her he would.

He should’ve tried harder.

“She’d been too afraid Barry would see her differently. But, he loved her dearly. She was his world. Especially after his wife had up and left them when Chrissie was three.”

“I’m sorry.”

He watched his finger as it glided over her soft skin. “I eventually got her to agree. She’d promised she’d tell him when she came back.” He blew out a breath. “She never made it back.”

“I’m sorry,” she said again, brushing a thumb over his jaw. “Why do I get the impression you blame yourself for her death?”

He let out a mirthless laugh. “Because I do.”

Her gaze narrowed. “Why?”

“If I had insisted she tell her dad before the trip, she would’ve been here in Harland that weekend and would never have gotten on that plane.”

“Oh, Tanner. You can’t take the blame for fate. You just can’t. If Chrissie hadn’t gotten on that plane, she would’ve died some other way.”

He stared up at her, surprised at the conviction in her eyes. “You really believe that?”

“Yes. When your number’s up. It’s up.”

“Why do you think that?”

“Because I have to. It’s the only way I can live with…” Her voice trailed off and eyes closed, but not before he’d seen grief and guilt filling her gaze.

He grabbed her hand and squeezed. “Is this about the child you lost?”

She gasped, and her eyes flew open. “H-how’d you know?”

‡

T
anner continued to
hold Gwen’s hand, which now had a slight tremor. “I kinda knew by the way you were when Kerri went into labor.” He’d seen the same grief and guilt in her eyes then, too.

She nodded.

“Want to tell me about it?”

She shrugged. “It’s as you probably guessed. My lifestyle led to a miscarriage.”

He was careful to keep emotions from showing. “How far along were you?”

“Only three months.” She sniffed, brushing a stray tear from her face.

His insides gripped tight. He wanted to crush her close, to comfort her, but he sensed she needed to talk about it. That she had never talked about it before. So, he continued to hold her hand, and his tongue.

“I didn’t do drugs. Ever. But the father did. It was weird, you know? I never thought about being a mom, but when I discovered I was pregnant, I was…happy. I immediately quit drinking and partying. I kept thinking, if I can just get through the first trimester, we might be okay.” She sucked in a ragged breath. “Guess the damage was already done.”

“Come here.”

He tugged her hand, and she toppled onto his chest. He couldn’t take it, had to hold her. She hugged him tight and cried. This, too, was something she needed to do. He couldn’t pretend to know what she was going through, only that it hurt and guilt ran deep. That was something he understood.

He waited until her sniffs turned into random hiccups before he spoke. “None of that was your fault, Gwen.”

She gave a mirthless laugh. “But, if I had been a better person. If I—”

He shook his head. “Don’t you see? You did what you could. You quit the party lifestyle, cleaned up. That
proved
you were a good person.”

“But not before. I was a little out of control.”

A smile tugged his lips, despite the gravity of the subject. “I like you a little out of control.”

She sniffed and giggled at the same time, then rolled completely back on top of him again. “I know.”

“Minx.”

Her chin lifted. “I prefer fox.”

He laughed, running his fingers through her soft, silky, gorgeous hair. “You are certainly that.”