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Authors: Janet Evanovich

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BOOK: 16 Sizzling Sixteen
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Sizzling Sixteen
Page: 18

How does it work? Lula wanted to know. Is it enough to own it? Do you gotta carry it around? Do you have to rub it like a genie bottle?

I dont know exactly, Grandma said. I never saw Pip use it. She looked over at me. Didnt it come with instructions?

No.

Bummer, Grandma said.

The bottle is a bunch of horse pucky, my father said. Pip was a nut. He didnt know enough to come in out of the rain.

What about when he won $10, 000 in the lottery? Grandma asked. How do you explain that?

Dumb luck, my father said.

Exactly! Grandma said. It was the lucky bottle.

What about taking a leak in a thunderstorm and electrocuting yourself? my father said. Was that lucky?

Probably he didnt have the bottle with him, Grandma said.

What happened to my pot roast? Lula asked.

You ate it, Grandma said.

Lula stared down at her plate. She looked in her lap and on the floor. Are you sure I ate it? I dont remember.

I saw you, Grandma said. It was the first thing you ate.

Do you think eating something counts if you dont remember? Lula asked.

No one knew what to say. And my father wasnt going to touch it.

Lula looked down at her plate. She had a spoonful of mashed potatoes and a pea. Whats for dessert? she asked. It better not be grapes.

LULA AND I were back in my Jeep, heading for Stark Street to check out Sunflowers funeral home. It was almost eight oclock, and the sun was low in the sky. Id stopped at my apartment to get a sweatshirt, and Lula had insisted we bring the lucky bottle with us.

Uncle Pip would probably be alive today if hed taken his bottle with him, Lula said. If nothing else, he could have pissed in it instead of on that wire.

Sizzling Sixteen
Page: 19

Let me take a look at that bottle. Maybe I can figure it out.

I stopped for a light and pulled the bottle out of my big leather purse.

Lula worked at the stopper, but it wouldnt budge. Youre right, she said. This suckers in for good. She shook the bottle close to her ear. Dont hear anything rattling around in it. She held it up and looked at it in what little light was left. Cant see anything in it. The glass is too thick.

I think luck is a weird thing. Its hard to tell if you make it or if it just follows you around. And it seems to me it could just as easily be bad luck as good luck. Its not like its a constant ability, like playing the piano or being able to cook a perfect omelet.

I cruised by the funeral home, and we scoped it out. There were several cars parked at the curb, and a clump of older men dressed in suits and ties stood talking by the open front door. Lights were on inside. Melons was having a viewing.

I pulled over and parked half a block away. Ill wait here, and you go look around, I said to Lula.

Why do you get to wait here? Lula wanted to know. Im the one hates dead people. I should be the one to wait here.

You cant wait here. Youre the friend of the deceased.

Fine, but Im not going in alone. Youre gonna have to make yourself blend in. Just tart yourself up some, and everyonell think youre a ho come to visit.

I ratted my hair, put on brighter lipstick, took my sweatshirt off, and rolled my T-shirt so I had some skin showing.

This is the best I can do, I said.

Youre not all that hot, Lula said. Youre never gonna make any money looking like that.

Sure I would. Im the girl next door.

You dont know much, she said. You gotta have a short skirt to be the girl next door and you put your hair in two ponytails.

I thought that was the Catholic schoolgirl.

The Catholic schoolgirls skirt is plaid and pleated.

I put Pips bottle back in my bag, hiked my bag up on my shoulder, and swung myself down from the Jeep. We made our way through the clump of men, through the open door, and into the foyer. Several older women stood by a table with a coffee urn and cups. I could see more women and a couple men in an adjoining room. The casket was in that room. So far as I could tell, this was the extent of the public areas.

Small funeral home, I said to Lula.

I guess the embalming goes on upstairs, being that the windows are blacked out, and we know Bobby Sunflower likes to keep rats in his cellars, Lula said.

Sizzling Sixteen
Page: 20

The hall wasnt long. It led to a small kitchen, stairs going up, and two doors. I opened one door to stairs going down. I held my breath and listened for a moment. No squeaking. I flipped the light on and whispered hello. No answer. I didnt want to rescue Vinnie bad enough to creep down the stairs. I closed the cellar door and tried the second door. It opened directly onto an alley and a small paved parking lot. A hearse and a black stretch Lincoln were parked in the lot. I stepped out onto the cement stoop to get a better look at the back of the building, and the door blew closed behind me. I tried the door. Locked. Crap!

The funeral home was in the middle of the block, with no breaks between buildings. I was going to have to walk down the alley and around the corner to get back to Stark. Ordinarily, no big deal, but this wasnt the sort of neighborhood a girl wanted to stroll around in after dark.

I moved to the alley and looked back at the building. Four windows on the second floor. All blacked out and barred, just like the front windows. I called Lula on my cell phone.

Where the heck are you? Lula wanted to know.

I accidentally got locked out. Im in the alley. Can you let me back in?

Negative. Bobby Sunflower just came down the back stairs, and hes standing in the hall talking to some idiot thats got killer written all over him.

Go ask them if theyve got Vinnie upstairs.

Funny, Lula said. Why dont you rub your bottle and ask for X-ray eyes?

Are you being sarcastic about my lucky bottle?

Yeah, and I regret it. Its not a good idea to disrespect a lucky bottle. Ill meet you at the Jeep. Good thing you at least got your hairspray, case you meet up with some of the locals.

FIVE

I POWER WALKED down the alley, keeping to the shadows, where I hoped I wouldnt be seen. I scurried around the corner, and by the time I reached Stark Street, my heart rate was at stroke level. I did some deep breathing and tried to calm myself before I got to the car, so I wouldnt have to listen to Lula go on about how I should carry a gun. Okay, probably she was right, but I really hated guns, and I could never remember where I hid the bullets.

Ranger had a remote door entry on the Jeep, so I beeped us in, and Lula and I sat watching the funeral parlor.

Do you know Bobby Sunflower? Lula asked me.

No.

Hes the tall dude just come out.

Is Sunflower his real name?

So far as I know, Lula said.

Bobby Sunflower was a little over six foot tall. He was lean, with a long face and long cornrows that came to his shoulders. He was dressed in a pinstriped suit and a white shirt that was unbuttoned to halfway down his chest. He had a lot of gold chains around his neck, and I could see his diamond ring from where I sat. He had two men with him who looked like dumb muscle. They stood two steps behind while Sunflower talked to a fireplug guy in a bad-fitting black suit.

Sizzling Sixteen
Page: 21

A black Cadillac Escalade with tinted windows rolled to a stop in front of the funeral home. Sunflower turned from Melon and got into the Escalades backseat. One of the gunners got into the front passenger seat, the other got in next to Sunflower, and the car moved off down the street.

I put the Jeep in gear and followed the Escalade. I kept my distance, staying about a half block behind. They went all the way down Stark, took State Street to Broad, and I lost them on Broad. Too much traffic on Broad. I lost them when I couldnt run a light.

I got a bad feeling about Bobby Sunflower, Lula said. Some people just make you scared inside, and hes one of those people.

I turned off Broad and made my way through the Burg to Hamilton and the bonds office. I dropped Lula at her car and headed for home. I was a block from my apartment building when Mickey Gritch passed me going in the opposite direction. Black Mercedes with purple pimp lights flashing around his license plate. Hard to miss. I cut my lights and made a U-turn on Hamilton. I put a car between me and Gritch, and I put my lights back on.

Gritch turned right on Olden, crossed the railroad tracks, and wound around, ending on Stark. He took the alley behind the funeral home, parked behind the limo, and got out. I was around the corner, on the dark side street, watching with my lights off. Gritch got out of his car, walked to the back door, and knocked. The door opened, Gritch walked in, and the door closed.

I checked my rear view mirror and saw that a car had pulled up behind me. My pulse quickened, and I was about to step on the gas when Ranger angled out of the car and walked to the Jeep.

I got out and stood next to him, and my pulse didnt drop back. Ranger at close proximity on a dark and deserted street would make any womans heart race.

You scared the bejeezus out of me, I said to him. I didnt know it was you at first.

Chet was monitoring the fleet, and he saw you make a U-turn and start tailing Gritch.

And you were in the neighborhood?

No. I grabbed my keys and came out to watch you in action. He did a full body scan on me. Is this a new look?

Lula and I were here earlier, and Lula thought Id fit in better if I was a ho.

Ranger put his hands to my waist and slid them up bare skin to where I had my shirt rolled and tucked into my bra. He loosened my shirt and smoothed it down.

You looked cold, he said.

I was pretty sure he was referring to the state of my nipples, and because it was Ranger, I was also pretty sure he knew cold had nothing to do with it.

I saw Bobby Sunflower leave here about forty-five minutes ago. And now Gritch is here, I told him.

Ranger looked at the back of the building. And you think Vinnie might be here?

The windows are blacked out upstairs. Originally, I thought the embalming rooms were up there, but Lula saw Bobby Sunflower come down the stairs. I reached into the Jeep and got my sweatshirt. I didnt get a chance to check out anything other than the public areas.

Ranger looked at his watch. Viewing hours are over. The outdoor light was off when we drove by the front of the building. We can hang here for a while and see what goes down.

Sizzling Sixteen
Page: 22

Two car engines turned over, and headlights flashed on. The Mercedes rolled past first. The big Lincoln followed. They took the corner and headed for Stark Street.

Ranger stayed pressed against me, his hand at my waist, his breathing even. His lips brushed my ear, and my cheek, and found my mouth, and the contact produced a rush of heat and desire that filled every part of me. Since we were standing on a public street in a part of town that had killings nightly, I suspected this wasnt going any farther than kissing.

Are you playing? I asked him.

Yes, he said, but that could change.

I felt my fingers curl into his shirt, and I made an effort to uncurl them. I put a couple inches between us, and I smoothed out the wrinkles Id made.

I need to find Vinnie, I said.

Ranger looked over at the building. Get in your car and lock the doors. Ill go inside and look around.

Im sure the funeral parlor has an alarm system.

Even with the best alarm system, theres a ten to fifteen minute window before anyone responds. And in this part of town, the response is a lot longer . . . If at all.

Ranger jogged to the back door, and within seconds, he had the door unlocked. He slipped inside, and a couple minutes later, I heard the alarm go off. I gripped the wheel and watched the building, keeping track of the time. Five minutes went by. Ten minutes. I had my teeth sunk into my lower lip, and I was thinking get out, get out, get out! The door opened at fourteen minutes. Ranger emerged alone and jogged back to the car.

Ill follow you home, Ranger said. I dont want to talk here.

I pulled away from the curb, and when I got to the corner, the stretch Lincoln slid to a stop in front of the funeral home and three men got out and went to the front door. Ranger and I drove past them and continued on down Stark.

RANGER WALKED ME to my apartment and stepped inside.

Obviously, Vinnie wasnt being held at Melons, I said to him.

The embalming room is in the basement, and it isnt pretty. The upstairs rooms are being used as a cash drop. Theres a counting table and a safe in one of the rooms. The other rooms are storerooms. No sign of Vinnie.

What about Mickey Gritch? Did he make any more stops?

I checked with Chet. Mickey Gritch went straight home from Melons. Looks like hes settled in for the night. Ranger unzipped my sweatshirt. We could be settled in for the night, too.

I moved a step back from him. Are you feeling domestic?

The corners of his mouth softened into the smallest of smiles. Im feeling friendly. He closed the distance between us, lifted my bag off my shoulder, and his focus moved from me to the bag.

Sizzling Sixteen
Page: 23

Its the bottle.

I took Uncle Pips bottle out of my bag and set it on the kitchen counter. Rex came out of his soup can house and looked through the glass aquarium at the bottle. His beady black eyes glistened, his whiskers whirred, and he put two little pink feet on the side of his cage. He blinked once and turned and scurried back into his soup can.

Why are you carrying this bottle? Ranger asked.

This is the bottle I inherited from my Uncle Pip. Its supposed to be lucky, and Lula decided we needed to carry it with us . . . Just in case.

Rangers smile widened. Cant hurt, he said.

Well, it didnt do me any good tonight.

The night isnt over, Ranger said. You could still get lucky.

______

BEING A BOND enforcement agent almost never requires me to set my alarm clock. Felons are in the wind twenty-four hours a day, so I can pretty much pick which of those hours I want to go hunting. Lula usually rolls into the office around nine, and Im usually right behind her. This morning was no different.

Id sent Ranger home early the night before, deciding I wasnt ready to get that lucky. A night with Ranger was tempting, but the cost would be high. My relationship with Morelli was currently on hold. A morning argument in Morellis kitchen a couple weeks ago had ended with the notion it might not be a bad idea if we saw other people, but the reality was that we werent. I felt comfortable with flirting and maybe a kiss, but I wasnt comfortable going beyond that with another man right now.

Hey, girl, Lula said from the bonds office couch, whats up for today?

Dirk McCurdle and a drug guy named Chopper.

And Vinnie, Connie said.

Yeah, I said. And Vinnie.

Do you have any leads? Connie asked.

I know where he isnt, I told her. Id like an address for Dirks best friend, Ernie Wilkes. Ive got one Mrs. McCurdle left. If she isnt helpful, Ill talk to Ernie.

Connie punched a few keys on her computer, and it spit out Ernies address. She wrote the address on a slip of paper and handed it to me. Hes retired from the button factory, so he should be at home.

The phone rang and Connie picked it up. Yeah, she said. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Ill be right there. She disconnected and grabbed her purse. I have to bond out Jimmie Leonard. That means I have to lock the office up for an hour until I get back.

We could stay here and babysit phones, Lula said.

BOOK: 16 Sizzling Sixteen
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