16 Sizzling Sixteen (9 page)

I dont have a name. Im not a big player in the organization. I heard Blutto tossed around, but I dont know what it means. I dont know if its a first name or a last name or a nickname.

Thanks, I said.

Youre not going to visit me, are you?

No.

Nothing personal, but thats a relief.

I left Gritch to his lunch trade and went back to the Jeep. Lula swung in minutes later with two boxes of nachos and two giant-size sodas.

What about the one diet? I asked her. Arent you only allowed to have one chip?

That diet isnt real specific about meaning one chip or one box of nachos. Im thinking of quitting that diet anyway. It dont work. I think Im going to have to look for a new diet.

I finished the nachos, and I was torn between going after Chopper and continuing to look for Vinnie. If I caught Chopper, I might be able to get my car fixed. I loved the Jeep, but it wasnt mine. Eventually, it would have to be returned to Ranger. Especially if I got back together with Morelli. Using one mans car and sleeping in another mans bed didnt work. At least not when the men were Ranger and Morelli. Of course, if I slept with Ranger, I might be able to keep the Jeep indefinitely.

What the heck are you thinking? Lula asked me. Youre mumbling and rolling your eyes and sighing.

I was thinking I need to find Vinnie. He only has two days left.

Do you think Sunflower would really kill Vinnie?

Yes, I said. I think hed kill Vinnie.

I do, too, Lula said. Sunflowers a bad man.

I finished my soda, collected the trash, and ran it over to the trash can by the door. I ran back and cranked the Jeep over.

Where we going? Lula wanted to know. Weve already been all over the place.

I have a hunch. They had to hustle Vinnie out of the burning house and stash him someplace else. It would have to be someplace easy on short notice. Someplace like an apartment building.

The rat house.

Exactly.

Thats like a advertisement Vinnies in there, Lula said.

Maybe.

I drove around the corner and turned into the alley. We counted off units, and I idled behind the apartment building. It had six parking spaces marked off in its small lot. The rest of the lot was given over to a Dumpster. The black SUV was parked in one of the spaces. The building had a back door at ground level. One window with bars at ground level. No bars on the windows on the second, third, and fourth floors. A rusted fire escape clung precariously to the back of the building.

Try the back door, I said to Lula.

Lula dropped out of the Jeep, crossed the lot, and tried the door. Locked. She got back into the Jeep.

Now what? Lula said. I think hes in there, but I dont know if the stink bombs gonna work. This place already smells like a stink bomb. Plus, they got a ticket taker on the front door.

One of us needs to go in and look around.

You?

No, I said. You.

Why me? Im only the assistant bounty hunter, and Im not even sure I want to rescue Vinnie.

You can get by the guy at the door. Tell him youre making a delivery to the nasty fat guy on the third floor.

Am I goin door to door, selling Girl Scout cookies?

No. Once you get in, just look around and listen for voices.

I dropped Lula off at the corner and watched her swing her ass past the funeral home and up to the guy at the door to the apartment building. She stood and talked to him for a short time, and then she went inside. After ten minutes, I looked in my rear view mirror and spotted a Rangeman SUV double-parked in front of a bar half a block back. The cowardly part of me was happy to see them there, but the rest of my brain acknowledged that I led a weird life. I had a cop boyfriend who hated my job and tried to get me to quit. And I had a security expert potential lover who didnt tell me to quit my job, but had me under constant surveillance. I wasnt sure which was worse.

Lula popped out of the buildings open front door, and the door guard grabbed her by the arm. I was ready to roll if it looked like she was in danger. Not that I would be much good as a rescuer, but the two heavily armed, overly muscled guys on my bumper could do some damage.

Lula jollied herself away from the door guard and sashayed down the sidewalk to where I was waiting. She got into the Jeep, I waved to the Rangeman guys, and I drove off.

Well? I asked her.

Hes there. Hes in the back unit on the fourth floor. I could hear him talking. Sounded like they were playing cards.

Any problems? Anyone see you?

It was too late to catch Chopper at his lunch stops, and I wasnt in the mood to start looking for the toilet paper bandit, so I headed back to the office. I needed to talk to Connie anyway. It was one thing to find Vinnie, it was a whole other deal to rescue him. As much as I would love to see Connie shoot off a stink bomb, I had serious doubts about it as a rescue aid. Seemed to me a stink bomb, like a fire bomb, got everyone out of the building, but didnt give us an opportunity to snatch Vinnie.

I was halfway across town when Grandma Mazur called. I think I broke my foot, she said. I was dancing to one of them workout videos, and I accidentally stubbed my toe on the coffee table, and now I think somethings broke. At first, I thought it wasnt broke, but its turned purple, and its all swelled up.

Wheres Mom?

Shes at the beauty parlor. And your fathers playing pinochle at his club. And I hate to call the ambulance people, because then Ill be a spectacle. Therell be rumors Im dead. I just need you to give me a ride to the emergency room.

ELEVEN

LULA AND I stood in the living room, looking at Grandmas foot.

It looks broke all right, Lula said to Grandma. Thats one heck of an ugly foot you got there, but I like the polish you got on your toes. Whats the name of that?

Red Hot Rapture. Lucky I just painted them yesterday. Imagine breaking your foot when your toes werent done up.

Yeah, Lula said. Id hate that. Does it hurt?

It used to, but I took a couple snorts of Jack Daniels, and Im pretty happy.

We need to get her to the car, I said to Lula.

Okay, Lula said. Do you want to carry her or drag her?

Can you hop? I asked Grandma.

I could before the Jack Daniels, but now Im not so sure.

Lula got on one side of Grandma, and I got on the other, and we scooped Grandma up and got her out the door, down the sidewalk, and to the Jeep. I was afraid to alley-oop her, so I dragged her up onto the passenger seat.

Its a shame we gotta go to the hospital, Grandma said. I feel like having some fun. I wouldnt mind seeing some naked men.

How much Jack did you have? Lula asked.

I dont need Jack to want to see naked men, Grandma said. You get to be my age, and theres not a whole lot of opportunity. I signed up for one of those porn movies on TV once, and it was all girls. You only got to see the men from the back. What good is that?

I hear you, Lula said.

By the time I got back to the emergency room, Grandma had been wheeled off somewhere to be evaluated, and Lula was busy reading magazines.

This is an excellent emergency room, Lula said. They got a good selection of magazines. And people tell me they know what theyre doing here when it comes to shootings and knifings, on account of they get so much practice.

An hour later, they wheeled Grandma back to the waiting room with a big black boot thing on her foot.

Its broke, all right, she said. I got to see the X-ray.

What have you got on your foot? Lula wanted to know.

The bone was just cracked a little, so they wrapped my foot up in this boot thing instead of putting it in a cast. I can walk on it and everything.

Grandma got out of the wheelchair and took the boot for a test-drive.

Step, stomp, step, stomp, step, stomp.

The boot came to mid calf, was foam-padded and held secure with thick Velcro straps. The bottom of the boot was two inches of hard molded plastic. When Grandma walked, she was tipped to one side, since one leg was two inches longer now than the other.

I feel gimpy in this boot, Grandma said. And my butt cheeks dont match up. One feels higher than the other. I cant squeeze to keep the breezers in.

Well keep the windows open on the way home, Lula said.

Grandma looked down at the boot. Its pretty nifty, though. I cant wait to show this to your mother. I bet this could get us one of those handicap parking signs. And I got some pills for when the Jack Daniels wears off.

I brought the Jeep around to the drive-through, boosted Grandma up into it, and drove her home. Id called ahead, and my mother was waiting at curbside.

Here she is, I said, lowering Grandma down to my mother. Almost as good as new.

For the love of Pete, my mother said.

I was doing a lunge, and I broke my foot, Grandma told her. But its only a little bit broke.

I have to go, I said to my mother. I have to get back to the office.

Can you walk? my mother asked my grandmother.

Of course I can walk, Grandma said. Look at this.

Whoops, Grandma said. And she face-planted on the grass.

Lula and I jumped out of the Jeep and rushed over.

Its the dang boot, Grandma said. Its got me all lopsided.

CONNIE WAS AT her desk when we walked into the bonds office.

We would have been here sooner, Lula said, but we had to go on a mission of mercy. Grandma Mazur broke her foot dancing to an exercise video, and we had to get her fixed up.

Is she okay? Connie asked.

I took my usual seat in front of the desk. Yes. They put her in an orthopedic boot and sent her home.

And we got more news, Lula said. We got good news, and we got bad news, and its all the same news. We found Vinnie.

Connies eyebrows rose a couple inches. Are you serious?

Theyve got him in a back apartment in Sunflowers building on Stark Street, I said. Lula heard him through the door. Theyve got a guy in there with him, and theres a guy at the entrance downstairs. There arent any bars on the back windows, and theres a rusted fire escape, but youd die trying to get Vinnie out that way.

Do you have any ideas? Connie asked me.

No. None. And I dont think the stink bomb will work. Theyll haul Vinnie out of the building under armed guard, and they wont let go of him.

We need a diversion, Lula said. We need to get the guard out of the apartment. Then someone can go in and drag Vinnies worthless ass out of there.

A diversions a good idea, I said, but how are we going to get Vinnie down the stairs and out the door past the door guard?

We could disguise him, Lula said. Put him in a wig and a dress or something.

I looked at Connie. Do you think thatll fly?

Maybe if we have a diversion at the front door, too, Connie said.

I can divert the guy at the front door, Lula said. He likes me.

Ill be the second diverter, Connie said. That leaves Stephanie to get Vinnie out.

See, thats the problem with you, Lula said. Youre bein a glass-is-half-empty person. One of my outstanding qualities is my positive personality. Youve just gotta take precautions, like you need to bring a gun with bullets in it.

I PULLED TO the curb in front of the bonds office at precisely nine oclock. Connie was already there, and Lula slid to a stop behind me. I was dressed in black. I had a loaded gun pressed against my backbone, stuck into the back of my jeans. I had pepper spray in my pocket. I had my cell phone clipped to my jeans waistband, set to dial Rangeman. I had a stun gun also clipped to my jeans waistband. And I had premonitions of disaster. I had no confidence in the mission. Truth is, we sucked at this stuff. We were like the Three Stooges at Camp Commando. The only reason I was attempting it was because I knew Chet would spot me on Stark Street and send out a back up Rangeman car.

We assembled in front of the office to review the plan. Connie was wearing wedge heels, a short, tight skirt, and a sweater that showed about a quarter mile of cleavage. Ditto Lula, substitute thigh-high hooker boots for the wedge heels.

Ive been thinking about it, I said. Our best shot at this is to get the back door open. I looked over at Lula. If you can open the door for Connie and me, we can slip upstairs easier. And then we can bring Vinnie out that way.

You can count on me, Lula said. What about cars?

Well take the Jeep, I told her. Ill drop you off on Stark Street, and then Ill park in the alley behind the building. After we escape with Vinnie, Ill swing around and pick you up.

Okeydokey, Lula said. Ill be waiting for you.

We all piled into the Jeep, and by the time we got to Stark Street, my stomach was sick and I had a grapefruit-size lump of panic sitting in the middle of my throat. Lula got out at the corner and walked half a block to the apartment building. There was still a guard out front, but it was a different guy. I circled around and parked in the alley as planned.

This is going to work, right? I said to Connie. We wont get caught, or killed, or anything?

Do you have the bottle with you?

Its in my purse.

So that should help, Connie said.

Oh jeez, it was going to come down to the bottle.

Connie got out of the Jeep and adjusted her girls. Vinnie better appreciate this effort. Its not like I havent got better things to do than to save his ass, she said.

I reached under my seat and grabbed the two-pound Maglite that was standard equipment on all Rangeman vehicles. It was also the weapon of choice for head-bashing.

There wasnt a lot of light in the alley. There were streetlights in place, but the bulbs had been shot out. We walked to the back of the building and looked up. Shades were drawn on the fourth-floor windows. The black SUV was parked nose-in to the building. I tried the back door. Locked. We both took a step back and waited in the shadows for Lula to unlock the door.

I heard footsteps, the doorknob turned, and Lula looked out at us. The coast is clear, she said. The door dummy went down the street to get something to smoke.

Show time, Connie said. And she motored through the door, down the short hall, and wasted no time going up the stairs.

I followed close behind, thinking Id done equally dangerous and stupid things as a bounty hunter, but this was right up there with primo bone-head operations. We reached the fourth floor and looked around. Three doors4A, 4B, and nothing on the third door. I listened at the unnumbered door. Silence. I carefully tried the knob. Unlocked. Utility closet.