18 Minutes: Find Your Focus, Master Distraction, and Get the Right Things Done (9 page)

If people have the opportunity to achieve, affiliate, and influence, they’ll be motivated and engaged. Even without a clear vision of the future.

So instead of worrying about what life is going to be like tomorrow, focus on these three things today.

Answer these three questions:

If the answer is yes in each case, great. You’ll be motivated. Wherever it’s not, create those opportunities immediately.

Make sure you have clear goals and the autonomy to achieve them. Make sure you are working on something you find challenging and interesting.

And find opportunities to collaborate (and celebrate) with others. This is especially important because at times of uncertainty, people become more political. They start to suspect that their colleagues are trying to be noticed, take more credit, work on better projects. But as they work on projects collaboratively, their trust grows.

Also, look for opportunities to offer input on how things should be done. And if necessary, ask that your participation be recognized.

Anne realized that even though she was a “leader” in the bank, she too was paralyzed by the uncertainty of the future.

A few weeks after speaking with Anne, I met with her again and she told me she had held one-on-one meetings with each of her managers that week. In those meetings, she made sure each person had some kind of challenging, meaningful project to work on. She also made sure
each had at least one project that involved collaboration with other people. She told me that the third motivator was harder because it felt fake to recognize people for something they had done when she didn’t feel they had been doing much. She did give them influence over how they were going to achieve their projects, and as they made headway, she was looking for opportunities to recognize them.

Doing this had a side benefit for Anne. She was considerably more energized when I last saw her. Following through on this plan tapped into her motivation. It was challenging (achievement), helped her connect to the people with whom she worked (affiliation) and enabled her to enable others (power).

But Anne took it a step further. She also went to her own manager and had the same conversation with him. She went over her projects, and together they set goals she felt—but was not certain—she could achieve. Goals she felt played to her strengths, allowed for her weaknesses, used her unique talents, and about which she felt passionate.

Then she asked that two other people—colleagues whom she enjoyed—be allowed to collaborate on the projects with her. And she set a date with her manager when he would review the work and, if appropriate, publicly recognize her for the work she and her colleagues had done.

Sound contrived? Maybe. But it still works. And sometimes it takes some contriving to get what you want.

Especially if the future is uncertain, your goals are not
clear, and you feel paralyzed in terms of moving forward. Perhaps you don’t know exactly what this next year should be about. Perhaps you’re not crystal clear about your goals for the year or what you want to achieve.

That’s okay. As long as you create the right environment—one in which you feel challenged, loved, and respected—then you’ll be motivated enough to keep moving in the right direction. Even without a plan. Even without a destination.

So it’s time to choose. Do you want to live in a half-built house while you wait for the end of the world? As it turns out, some people have been living in those houses for
years
.

Or do you want to be like Anne and spend whatever time you have fixing your house, along with your colleagues?

The world may end in six months, but at least those six months can be filled with engaging work, connected community, and empowered action.

T
here is a Buddhist story about a poor farmer whose one horse ran away. All his neighbors came to him in sympathy, saying, “What bad luck!”

“Maybe,” he responded.

The next day, the horse returned with several other wild horses. “What great luck!” his neighbors exclaimed.

“Maybe,” he responded.

A few days later, the farmer’s son was trying to tame one of the wild horses when he was thrown off and broke his leg. “What terrible luck!” his neighbors said.

“Maybe,” he responded.

A week later, the army came through the village to draft all the young men, but—seeing the broken leg of the farmer’s son—they left him in peace. “What wonderful luck!” the neighbors said.

“Maybe,” the farmer responded. And so it goes.

My life has been a series of lucky accidents strung
together starting from the moment of my conception, which occurred despite my parents’ best birth control efforts.

In college, I was planning to go into politics. Then, in the spring of my junior year, the bicycle trip I had planned to go on was canceled because the leader broke her arm. So instead, I went on a camping trip, and it changed my life. I gave up politics and began teaching leadership on wilderness expeditions. On one of those expeditions, I met Eleanor, who would eventually become my wife.

Later, I built a successful company teaching leadership with lots of employees and several offices around the world. Then, as luck would have it, my company crashed along with the economy and the Twin Towers. It turns out, after some introspection and a solid dose of therapy, that I wasn’t enjoying the business the way I had built it the first time. So I rebuilt it in a much smaller, more sustainable, more fulfilling way.

While I might not have been happy about it at the time, each turn of luck was a catalyst that brought me closer to the life I’m happily living now.

Often, we operate with the impression that we are in control of our lives. I remember long conversations with Eleanor about exactly when we should have our second child. Two miscarriages later, we realized it wasn’t up to us. And when Sophia eventually came, we knew that anytime would have been the right time.

Some strokes of luck are small. Maybe you enjoy a conversation with someone new. Maybe you read a poem that
happens to be sitting on someone’s desk. Maybe you bump into the car in front of you. Only years later can you see how fundamentally that moment may have changed your life.

Some strokes of luck are big, and you know at the time they will change your life. Maybe you win $10 million with a lottery ticket you didn’t even know you had, as happened to a woman in Australia. Maybe you lose your job.

What we don’t know is how those things will change our lives. All the research points to how poor we are at predicting how we’ll feel about something once it happens to us. Lottery winners are no happier than before. Paraplegics are no less happy.

And there’s something I’ve been noticing about some people who have lost their jobs. They seem happier. Relieved, almost. Not everyone. But in many cases, the fear of losing your job is worse than losing your job. I know a large number of employed people who are miserable on two counts: They hate their jobs, and they’re afraid of losing them. They’re scared and stuck.

But once you lose your job, you can move on. Daniel Gilbert, professor of psychology at Harvard University, explained this phenomenon in a
New York Times
article: “When we get bad news we weep for a while, and then get busy making the best of it. We change our behavior, we change our attitudes… [but] an uncertain future leaves us stranded in an unhappy present with nothing to do but wait.”

So when your luck changes, what should you do about it?

Remember Stanford psychologist Carol Dweck, whom we met a few chapters ago? She’s done an enormous amount of research to understand what makes someone give up in the face of adversity rather than strive to overcome it. Her research shows that if someone believes his talent is inborn he’ll give up quickly, because any obstacle is a sign of his limitation. He’s hit a wall; he can’t do something and won’t ever be able to.

But if someone believes his talent grows with persistence and effort, he’ll work to master the challenge. He’ll view adversity as an opportunity to get better.

So here’s the good news: You can change your results by changing your mind-set. Remember, when Dweck trained children to view themselves as capable of growing their intelligence, they worked harder, more persistently, and with greater success on math problems they had previously abandoned as unsolvable.

Luck changes. Call it fate. Call it God’s will. Call it an accident. No matter how well we plan our lives, we’re not fully in control. But how we face our luck—good and bad—is in our control.

How’s this year going so far? Are you having good luck? Bad luck?

Maybe.

But if you leverage your strengths, embrace your weaknesses, assert your differences, and pursue your passions, you can be confident that you are spending your time in
the right places, doing the right things, no matter the short-term result. That thinking will keep you grounded through your successes and your failures.

I
t’s a buffet?” I asked my wife Eleanor, about a Sunday brunch we were going to with her parents.

“Yes,” she answered, a worried look on her face. “You gonna be okay?”

“Sure,” I said smiling. “I love buffets.”

“I know,” she said, looking even more worried.

Sure enough, a few hours later, I was completely stuffed. Couldn’t possibly have fit another thing in me. And yet, somehow, I managed to go back for a little more dessert.

Here’s my problem with buffets: so many choices. And all for one price. It’s a killer combination.

I happen to love variety and the opportunity to taste all the different dishes. So I get a little of everything. But a little of everything adds up to a lot. And I leave the buffet uncomfortable, exhausted, and regretting it.

Yet somehow, even though I know better, I do it every time.

This buffet challenge is the same challenge we face when managing our time. Because there’s so much to do—so many interesting people, enjoyable activities, worthwhile causes, compelling opportunities—it’s hard to choose. So we don’t. We try to do it all.

The problem with most time management systems is that they don’t help solve the problem: They’re focused on how to get it all done in less time. But that’s a mistake. Just like tasting from a buffet is a mistake. Because we can’t possibly get it all done and not end up frantic, depleted, and overwhelmed.

The secret to surviving a buffet is to eat fewer things. And the secret to thriving in your life is the same: Do fewer things.

Which means you have to be strategic about what you choose to do, and make hard decisions about what you choose not to do.

So let’s get concrete here. How many things should we focus on? After a tremendous amount of trial and error—mostly error—I’ve come to the number five.

I’ve decided to focus my year on five things. Three work-related, two personal. (Almost) everything I do must fit in one of these five areas. If it doesn’t, then I politely decline.

Why five? Because for me, it seems to work. It covers the most important things that need to get done, and it’s not overwhelming. It’s enough. On the other hand, you may come up with three. Or seven. And if that works for you, then go with it. You’ll know if it works for you
because you’ll feel accomplished in each of the categories without getting confused, feeling overwhelmed, or dropping balls.

Why a year? Because a lifetime is too much and a month is too little. A year is the right-size chunk for our long-term focus. We think in terms of years—schools, birthdays, religious and secular holiday cycles, salaries, bonuses, and performance reviews all operate within the framework of a year—and a year provides us with the perfect amount of time in which to make real progress in our lives without getting lost.

So what should your five (or so) things be? That depends on your life. Here are mine:

1. Do Great Work with Current Clients

2. Attract Future Clients

3. Write and Speak About My Ideas

1. Be Present with Family and Friends

2. Have Fun and Take Care of Myself

Most of these are not clearly measurable. That’s okay. They’re not goals. Not everything has to be a goal. They’re areas of focus. They’re where you want to spend your time. If you want, you could create specific goals in each category.

Your list will be different because you’re different. What’s important is that you intentionally create the list. What are the five things you want to focus on over the next year? They should be substantial things, so when you spend your time on them, you’ll get to the end of the year and know it was time well spent.

In other words, step up to the buffet with a plate that has enough room for five different foods and no more. Since you’re selecting only five, make sure they are nourishing and tasty.

What’s the time equivalent of nourishing and tasty? Make sure that your list leverages your strengths, embraces your weaknesses, asserts your differences, and reflects your passions. It’s also important that it includes opportunities to be challenged, opportunities to work with others, and opportunities to be recognized.