2 Unhitched (16 page)

I race downstairs, my blood pounding. I feel like a pit bull in attack mode. I want to dig my teeth into him and rip out his heart. I frantically search for him, dashing from room to room. He’s nowhere to be found.

“Have you seen Prince Gallant?” I snap at one of the servants.

“His Highness left early in the morning for a meeting,” says the servant, frightened by my behavior. With a shaking hand, she hands me a note. I recognize the stationary and handwriting immediately—and the nauseating scent. Aurora’s!

My Dearest Gallant~

What a wonderful weekend! I can’t wait to see you today. Meet me at Sparkles at noon.

Love and kisses~ Aurora

MY dearest Gallant? Love and kisses? Another secret romantic rendezvous?
My heart pounds so hard against my chest it may actually leap out. I tear the note to shreds, only to regret that I’ve destroyed yet another piece of evidence. That’s it. Sleeping Beauty, you’re going down.

Another emergency girlfriend meeting at Sparkles. Except it’s only Elz. She tells me that Winnie couldn’t make it. “She’s meeting with The Queen to go over details for the opening of the museum.” I cringe. Gallant’s gala!

I share Cinderella’s encounter with Gallant and Aurora. And then the note.

“Wow! Wonderland sounds amazing! Do you think Gallant can get Rump and me a discount?” She stuffs a cupcake into her mouth. “We could take a pre-baby holiday.”

Sheesh! I’m losing a husband, and she’s trying to score discounts? I’m in a state of total panic. In less than fifteen minutes, Gallant and Aurora will be sitting here goo-goo eyed and feeding each other cupcakes. And licking the frosting off each other’s fingers. I wish Winnie were here to give me advice. On second thought, she’d probably say that I’m freaking out for no reason. That there’s still no proof Gallant is having an affair with Aurora.

You know what, I’ve had it with Elz and especially Winnie. What is wrong with them? They’re my girlfriends. My best friends. They’re supposed to be helping me bring Gallant down. Winnie’s actually supporting Gallant by planning his retrospective at the museum. A true friend would have figured a graceful way to decline. Or, at least, consulted me on what poison to feed the man-eater should she attend.

“Maybe you should just hang out here until noon,” singsongs Elz. “You can catch them in the act!”

Another one of Elz’s absurdly naïve ideas. I want to shake her, baby or no baby. Of course, Gallant’s not going to let on that he’s having an affair with Aurora right in front of me. He may be an asshole, but he’s not stupid.

A pudgy server, who’s close to bursting out of his skin-hugging jester uniform, brings us another round of cupcakes. The bells on his silly three-pointed hat jingle as he lowers the platter to the table.
Jingle. Jingle. Jingle
. Brainstorm! Elz’s suggestion was a good one after all. I grab the waiter by an arm.

“Here are five gold pieces for the cupcakes. And fifty for your costume.”

As the server eagerly pockets the coins, Elz gazes at me with bewilderment.

“My treat.” I smile wickedly.

Damn it! I can barely get into this ridiculous costume. I know I’ve put on some pounds, but not this many. I’d better cut out all these cupcakes before I turn into a fat cow.

In the corner of Sparkles’ hectic kitchen where batches of cupcakes are being baked, I finally manage to wiggle into the tight, stretchy one-piece jester suit. I adjust the jingling fool’s hat on my head, tucking my hair inside it, and snap open my mirror locket for a quick peek at myself. Dragonballs! Even in this absurd get-up, I still look like myself. Gallant will recognize me in a heartbeat. My pulse is racing. Time is running out. One for promptness, he’ll be here any minute.

Okay, Jane, think!
Remember, you’re a master of disguise
.
Yes, a master!
When I was at Faraway, I disguised myself as Fanta. No one recognized me, and I managed to escape. Well, almost. And then there were those old hag disguises I used when I tried to kill Snow White. They were brilliant! Although in the end, they failed me too. A tinge of sadness sneaks up on me. Poor Snow White! I bet Gallant cheated on her too! Bastard!

“Hey, you, over there! Get to work!” yells the manager, a short dumpy man with rolls of chins. He obviously eats too many cupcakes. “Bring this tray of cupcakes to table thirteen. They’re complaining that their waiter’s disappeared.”

I can’t go out there! What if Gallant and Aurora are there? The rude manager thrusts the tray at me and shoves me toward the exit, past a huge wad of dough and vat full of chocolate chips.
Jingle! Jingle! Jingle!
Another brainstorm! On the way out, I stealthily grab a clump of the dough and slap it on my nose. And then I grab a handful of chocolate chips, lick them, and stick them all over my face. Perfect moles! I’m a creative genius. I’m unrecognizable.

Being a server is ridiculously hard work. Racing back and forth to the kitchen. Carrying heavy trays. Cleaning up messy leftovers. And it’s totally demeaning. I never knew how truly rude royals can be. And cheap! The princess at the last table I waited on had me get her six different cupcakes until she tasted the one she liked, and she didn’t even leave me a tip!

All this grueling work had better pay off. It’s noon. Where is Gallant? My heart skips a beat when he at last strides in. He sits down at a table. For two!
Okay, Jane. Take a deep
breath. Get your act together.

Quaking inside, I head over to his table. “Can I get you something?” I ask in the deepest, manliest voice I can muster.

“I am waiting for someone.”

“Oh, your wife?”

“Hardly,” he chuckles.

No kidding
. Every bone in my body is jointed with evil. I want to take a knife and cut out his heart. And put it in the center of a cupcake. And then bite into it.

My fantasy is cut short by the sweeping entrance of a tall, elegantly dressed woman with a lean, athletic build. The mesmerizing blonde who was at Swan’s coming out party. All eyes are on her, including mine. Her golden tresses cascade past her waist; her flawless skin is the color of honey, and her deep-set eyes are two sparkling blue gems. My eyes grow wide as she breezes over to Gallant’s table.

“Aurora!” Gallant rises to his feet and embraces her.

This is Aurora?
I swallow so hard I almost choke. She’s blond and gorgeous! A female version of Gallant! Like attracts like! I feel sick to my stomach.

A beaming Gallant graciously pulls out a chair out for her. “I’m so glad you could make it, darling.”

Darling?
He called her “darling?”
Sweat is pouring from every crevice of my body.
Stay calm. Don’t blow your cover
. Wiping my brow, I accidentally knock off one of my chocolate moles. It lands on their table.

“Don’t eat that!” I spit out the words and hastily brush the chocolate bit off the tablecloth.

Gallant eyes me strangely. “Server, we shall have some tea and a couple of cupcakes. Surprise us.” He clasps Aurora’s slender hands in his.

My stomach twists into a ball while my heart gallops. I can’t leave the two of them alone!

“Um, nice weather,” I stammer.
Procrastinate!
“Um, do the two of you come here often?”

“Can you get our order now, please?” Gallant looks and sounds annoyed. “We are in a bit of a hurry.”

He can’t wait to do it with her! The thought of them naked, entangled in bed, completely paralyzes me. I can’t breathe! I can’t move!

Gallant furrows his brows. “Server, please do not force me to talk to the manager. We would like our order.”

“Um, right away,” I finally sputter. I don’t know how I manage to get my two feet to walk.

When I return with their order, Aurora is holding up a sheet of parchment. She studies it. Admiration fills her eyes, followed by tinge of melancholy that makes her look even more glamorous—and seductive.

“I love it!” she exclaims.

Holding the tray with their order, I peer over her shoulder. Oh my God! It’s a sketch of Aurora showing off her amazing body in a skimpy pair of lacy briefs and a matching brassiere. I recognize the setting instantly. It’s the Wonderland blue lagoon—where Gallant and I made passionate love for the first time!

I am shaking like a flickering flame on its way out. I barely have the strength to stand up. The tray plunges from my hand. CRASH! Aurora lets out a yelp. A cup of hot tea has landed on her lap while the other teacup and the plates with the cupcakes have smashed to pieces on the ground.

“Look what you’ve done!” says Gallant, his voice harsh.

It’s all your fault, you scumbag!
I want to scream back.

He rushes to Aurora’s side. “Darling, are you all right?”

“I’m fine,” she says calmly and looks down at her dress. “Just a little tea stain. Thank goodness, nothing happened to the sketch!” She gazes at it again and smiles. I want to rip it into a thousand pieces and bury her with the scraps.

Gallant grabs her hand. “Come, darling. Let me take you to The Ballgown Emporium. Buying you a new dress is the least I can do.”

What! He’s going to take
her
shopping for a new gorgeous gown! With
our
money? At
my
fairy godmother’s boutique!

To add insult to injury, he marches out of Sparkles—with the man-eater on his arm—without leaving me a tip.

I’m fuming. This is war! There’s no time to waste. It’s time to take the enemy on. Clad in my ridiculous jester getup, I take off after them. I’ve only gotten five steps beyond Sparkles when someone tackles me from behind and knocks me hard to the pavement. It’s the manager.

“Where do you think you’re going, young man?” he barks.

“Shopping,” I snap back at him in my normal voice.

The man yanks me to my feet and steers me by the elbow back to Sparkles’ kitchen.

“Don’t you know you can go to jail for harassment?” I scream, my voice shrill. My former co-workers gaze at me, perplexed.

The scowling manager shrugs and thrusts a broom into my hand. “You need to clean up the mess you’ve made and pay for the damage you’ve caused. And then you’re fired!”

Quitting is not an option.

After paying for the broken plates and the two smooshed cupcakes, I sprint out the door, promising the disgruntled manager I will wash and return the jester costume. The Ballgown Emporium is just a few stores away. With luck, I can still catch them. While running, my fake nose falls off. Gallant will recognize me, but I no longer care.

Breathlessly, I storm into the store and search everywhere for Gallant and Aurora. They’re nowhere in sight. Dragonballs! How could she have found something new to wear so fast?