25 Biggest Mistakes Teachers Make and How to Avoid Them (26 page)

Mistake

13

Inappropriate Toileting
Practices

SCENARIOS 13.1, 13.2, 13.3, 13.4, 13.5, and 13.6
You’re All Wet

Six scenarios are presented to emphasize that inappropriate toileting practices are a frequently occurring problem. Clustering makes their commonalities and emergent patterns more apparent.

My worst memory took place when I was in first grade and I needed to go to the bathroom very bad. I asked for permission, but the teacher humiliated me in front of the class by telling me (almost screaming) that she was going to allow me to go to the bathroom just because I was being silly. I felt so embarrassed when she told me that in front of the other students. I had to walk out of the classroom because I was crying. I really needed to go, but instead of her understanding me, she yelled at me. I was embarrassed to face the rest of the class.

It was in first grade. I was five years old and going to a private school. One day during seatwork time, I raised my hand because I had to go to the bathroom really badly. Mrs. P. was busy working at her desk, and she didn’t look up. My hand was up for a long time, and Mrs. P. still didn’t notice me. I was too shy to go up to her desk, so there I sat at my desk. In five seconds there was a yellow puddle underneath my desk, and everyone was staring.

My worst experience with a teacher was when I was in first grade. I recall that I had to go to the bathroom and was not allowed to go. I was a quiet child in school. As a result of not being able to go, I wet my clothes and had to stay like that until it was time to go home. I recall there being a bathroom in our classroom but she would not allow us to use it. This teacher was old (60s, at least) and scary to me; she also was not very pleasant.

My first-grade math teacher was as mean as she could be. She never let us speak out of turn or get up from our desks. Worse than that, she would not let us go to the bathroom. We were six years old and had her for two hours in the middle of the morning and we couldn’t go to the restroom!

Well, I had a bladder control problem that I had to take medicine for. At this time we didn’t know about my problem. This teacher never let me go to the restroom so I would just have to go back to my desk and wet my pants. This happened at least five times and I was so embarrassed. Finally my parents told her she had to let me go. She was still mean though.

My single worst experience in school would take us way back to my kindergarten class in the year of 1981. 1 remember sitting on the floor in a circle with my classmates. The teacher was having some sort of “show-and-tell” demonstration. Then, I suddenly had to use the restroom, but I could not go unless I received permission from the teacher. I raised my hand and waited. The teacher didn’t call on me. A few more minutes passed and nothing. I waved vigorously, moved around a lot, and wiggled tremendously. Well—I could not wait any longer. Yes, I admit I “peed” all over myself. I was so embarrassed. The only good thing was that it happened at the end of the day just before my mom came to pick me up.

The doors of knowledge had been shown to me. My mom held my hand as she led me through the door of my kindergarten classroom. I knew this was the beginning of something I didn’t know. But I knew everything was going to be great. Mrs. H. had gotten over all the pushing in line, not sharing with the other students, and the wide-eyed, all-smiles naptime. She had even given me a star for behaving better. I stuck that star, which was the size of a quarter, on my forehead. Naptime came around and I tried to sleep. I really tried but I had to pee. I asked permission: I begged. I was squirming up and down and side to side. It didn’t work. I felt it. A warm liquid drenched my pants and ran down my legs into a small puddle around my two little feet that only had their white socks to block out the urine. D. P., which I called her because she was huge and her named was D., sent me to the nurse who told me I need to be clean and asked me to go to the restroom. She gave me old used underwear and shorts. She gave me a note for my mom. It asked her to wash the clothes and send them back the next day. I sucked it up and finished the day. From that day on if I had to go to the restroom and my teacher said no, I would and did walk out. That was later. D. asked me every ten minutes if I had to go use the restroom. I’d go, just to walk around and waste that darn naptime.

In all of the previous scenarios, students were not allowed to go to the restroom and they consequently wet their pants. Some teachers have cruel, sadistic toileting policies that leave lasting scars on innocent children. I was intrigued by the commonalities present in all of these scenarios. All six situations occurred in kindergarten and first grade. The adult authors still remember what happened in first grade, which conveys
the gravity of the effect the teachers’ toileting practices had on these students. In all six scenarios, the students indicated that they had to get permission of some sort to go to the restroom. They usually raised their hand or had to ask. None of the students were ever allowed to go to the restroom on their own. Three of the six referred to the teacher as mean or scary. Two of the six indicated they were shy or quiet students, the rest did not appear to be very assertive. In five out of six of the cases, there was no follow-up action or apology from the teacher. The one student who did receive some help was admonished as if wetting her pants was her fault. In all six cases, it was clear that the teacher had the power and exercised it freely. Some ignored students raising their hands, they humiliated students who dared to ask, and some just flatly denied permission to go.

One of the biggest mistakes teachers make is to presume to know if and when a child needs to use the restroom. To make such a presumption is a form of arrogance that feeds a teacher’s need for power and fosters humiliation and degradation in students. Teachers have no right to deny children an opportunity to satisfy a basic human need (Maslow, 1970). It seems so cruel and inhuman that, after causing a child to have an accident, teachers force children to sit in urine-sodden clothing for long periods of time in a public place. Two patterns emerge from these scenarios. One is that physiologically, the primary grades, particularly first grade, are a critical time period for children making an adjustment to using the restroom at school. Two, psychologically, it seems to be a critical time because accidents at this age have such lasting negative effects. I was not aware that children that young would be so affected by wetting themselves.

Control is the culprit in these unfortunate situations. Teachers are concerned that students will play, dawdle, or waste time during their trip to the restroom. They try to discourage students who want to go to the restroom by ignoring their raised hands, telling them to try to hold it, telling them to wait until recess or lunch, and some just say no. Some teachers feel that students are lying or faking a need to go to the restroom to get out of class. I say, so what if they play or enjoy getting out of class. I have made my exit from important meetings because I needed a break. Teachers should have liberal restroom policies that allow students to go when they feel the need, as long as they are quiet and orderly. Such a policy would probably let some fakers get out of class, but it would not deny students who had a legitimate need to go to the restroom. Effective teachers have techniques for dealing with students that misuse a liberal policy.