30 Days (2 page)

“Oh come on, you don't look like you’re in a rush. Just sit with us.” Blue eyes says.

“Why?”

“Why not?” He counters. I shrug trying to come up with a reason but the white noise and chatter of the restaurant distracts me.

“Ok, one beer.” I give in and three good looking men smile and point to the empty stool at the end of their row. Blue eyes is clearly the outgoing one, tall and confident. He is now sitting furthest from me. In the middle sits a dark haired stocky man who has a friendly face. Next to me is, I guess, the quiet one. He nods his head at me when I sit down and I can’t figure it out but I’m intrigued at his quiet demeanor. He, like blue eyes is tall and well built. The three of them are dressed casually but all look like they spend ten hours a day at a gym. Their shirts stretch tightly around their biceps and chests. The quiet one has light brown hair and the strangest hazel eyes I’ve ever seen. They’re captivating. He hasn't said anything yet but I feel strangely connected to him. Comforted in his presence.

“Ben.” The outgoing one says.

“Hi Ben.” I say leaning forward to see him.

“John.” The stocky middle guy shakes my hand. “Nice to meet you.”

“Hey. I’m Elle.” I say to the three of them.

“Colin. Hi.” Hazel eyes lock on mine as he reaches his hand out to me. I shake it. The contact makes my body tingle like chemicals colliding. His eyes widen slightly as if he feels it too.

Whatever feeling it is startles me and I drop his hand.
He only said hello but his eyes look like coming home.
It takes me by surprise and I’m not prepared for it. Immediately I feel out of place. I don’t want a beer. I feel panic coming on. I slide off my seat and stand nervously shaking my head, Colin’s hazel eyes never leaving mine as he stares at me with curiosity.

“Sorry guys, but I think I need to head home, maybe another time. It was nice meeting you though.” I sputter excusing myself and quickly dart out of the restaurant before they have a chance to say anything.
What is wrong with me Jenny?

Searsport is nice because from my cottage at the Inn I can walk anywhere I need to so far. My walk home gives me plenty of time to over analyze why I bolted tonight. Dinner had gone well. I did it and I didn't feel strange or judged. In fact it was nice to just sit alone and enjoy a meal. Why couldn’t I enjoy the company of three good looking guys over a simple beer? They weren’t creepy or mean. All three were friendly. It was Colin’s touch, his eyes. It was too intimate for two strangers and it threw me.

By the time I arrive home my mind is reeling. I can’t get Colin or his hazel eyes out of my mind. They’re unforgettable. I can’t wrap my head around the fact that I felt so relaxed and at ease when his eyes were so intent on mine. Like we’d known each other our whole lives. Like he saw me. The electricity that rocketed through me when our hands touched was surreal,
I shake the ridiculous thoughts from my head. I also didn’t stay, I remind myself. I bolted like some crazy person with no explanation. I may not
be
crazy but I certainly
acted
crazy.

I fill a glass with water and sit on the deck watching the moonlight reflect off the ocean. The light undulates with the shift of the tide. It’s breathtaking.
Ok, Jenny, one thing down. I miss your laugh tonight. I miss talking to you.
A breeze whips around me making me feel alive.

I switch on the kitchen radio and
Keep Hope Alive
fills the small open space. The Crystal Method reminds me of early high school. I turn it up as loud as I can and plop down on the couch. Leaning my head back on the cushion I close my eyes, take a deep breath and smile letting the electronic pull of the music lift me up. Hope creeps back into my soul. When it ends I stand and stride with purpose to the fridge and pause. I grab the sharpie in the pencil holder and cross out number one on my list.  Done.

***

“That was odd, what the hell?” Ben hollers two seats over to me.

“Yeah seriously, what’d you do to her hand?” John asks.

“I have no idea.” I shrug still slightly stunned.
 

When she sat next to me I couldn't tear my eyes from her. Brown silky hair hanging at her shoulders and those eyes. I swear they cut right through me.
Her eyes had flashed emerald sparks as she looked at me. She was stunning but not in the way that makes you intimidated like some women. She wasn’t overly made up or trying too hard. There was a soft presence about her. I felt like I’d known her my whole life. Like she knew all my secrets just from touching my hand. She bolted before I could stop her and for a moment I wanted to run after her. I didn't of course. That would probably scare the shit out of her. She seemed so delicate, maybe five- five, but fragile in some way. Her hourglass figure didn't go unnoticed. But something about the way she carried herself said that she had no idea how beautiful she was and that she was lost. A deep sensation that this was just the beginning washed over me.

The pitter patter of raindrops lulls me out of a deep sleep. I crack my eyes open to a gray and gloomy room. The clock reads eight am. I groan pulling the covers over my head and go back to sleep for another two hours.

See a movie alone the list reads.
I’m not in the mood...
It’s such crappy weather out today that I just want to curl up on the couch with my kindle in my jammies and read for the day. Maybe even nap. I don't have to do something every single day really.
Do I Jenny?
I hold my breath and wait for an answer that never comes.

I drink my morning coffee sitting curled in one of the armchairs reading. I can feel that stupid list calling me.
Dammit Jenny.
I set the kindle on the coffee table and pace around the room deliberating. Decisively I jump in the shower resolving to get ready and see a movie. I throw on jeans, cowboy boots and a lightweight long sleeved shirt. After putting on some mascara and lip gloss, I pull my hair haphazardly into a ponytail and set out.

I stop at the first shop I come to, buy an umbrella and ask for directions to the nearest theater. The young lady at the register is stunning and perky. Even on this gloomy day she’s a ray of sunshine. It makes me laugh as I step back out into the rain and start my three block walk to the theater.

It’s small and old with a classic brick exterior reminiscent of a small town fifties theater. When I get to the ticket booth I stare up at the sign trying to figure out what’s starting soon that’d I’d want to see.

“
One for Hit and Run please.” I tell the kid working the booth.

The pimply kid behind the counter informs me that it will be eleven dollars which I promptly hand over to him in exchange for my ticket. I skip the concession stand, heading straight for theater number 10. I pick out a spot, just where I like, and sit. I tuck my umbrella under my seat with my purse and settle in.

The theater starts to fill up. People jostle up and down the narrow rows to claim their seats. No one sits in the seat to the left or right of  me and no one asks me to scoot down a seat to make room for their party. I avoid all eye contact with people not wanting to draw attention to myself. When the lights dim I’m relieved that all eyes are now focused on the screen and not scanning around the room.

The movie is pretty good. 
A former getaway driver jeopardizes his Witness Protection Plan identity in order to help his girlfriend get to Los Angeles. The feds and his former gang chase them on the road. There are a lot of funny parts that make me laugh. When the lights finally come back up and the credits are rolling I stand and move into the shuffle of exiting movie goers. There are couples holding hands and talking quietly about their opinion of the movie. Groups of friends laughing over certain parts and quoting lines and a few other people who, like me, seem to be alone.

I thought maybe it would feel lonely to see a movie alone. That I would be sad not to share my opinion on it while leaving with someone. I’m not though. It wasn't the best moment of my life but it was enjoyable and no one will disagree with my thoughts on it because there’s no one to share my opinion with.

Did it Jenny. One more step forward. Did you enjoy the movie? That whole scene about what happened in prison was pretty funny yeah?
"I was butt-f***** by a Filipino dude, OK!!! Solve your dilemma of what part of the world my ass traveled to?!?" Made me laugh anyways. I wish you were here. You would have peed your pants over that one.

The rain has stopped, the clouds have broken and the suns just starting to give up its fight for the day. I wander slowly back to the cottage taking my time and watching people as they hurry in and out of shops. People don’t seem to know how to slow down. They’re all bustling towards their next errand or destination. I don't have worry about that. I have nothing to get home to. I could stay out all night long. I could stay in all day long. No one would care. It’s a liberating feeling really. I smile to myself as I turn left to the path leading to my cottage.

I dry off one of the patio chairs and sit with a glass of wine staring out over the ocean lost in thought. The warm summer breeze picks up and hazel eyes assault my thoughts. Who is Colin and why am I so pulled to him? How ridiculous. Chances are slim I’ll run into him again. My fingers move over my palm where his hand clasped mine momentarily. I take a deep breath and push out of my chair. Maybe another glass of wine and making dinner will take my mind off of him.

***

I finished my protein shake for dinner and it’s left me feeling less than satisfied. Even my workout and classes at the gym today did little to distract me.
I wonder what she's doing right now.
I can't get those
green eyes, freckles and a simple name out of my head. It seems like everything has changed
. She’s too old to be a college student, otherwise I might have walked around the local campus looking for her. I’ve never been so taken with someone just from exchanging hellos. I keep picturing her little button nose wrinkling up and her eyes going wide when our hands met. Whatever she felt scared her but I felt it too, like a tug. No, that’s not right, it was something more. She unguarded me, her smile took me in and hooked me. When I’d tried to explain it to Ben later he laughed and said I just needed to get laid. Maybe he’s right, but that doesn't explain the strange draw I feel to her, to find out more about her, to wrap my arms around her. I grab a granola bar and crash onto the couch hoping something good will be on TV to distract me tonight.

DAY 3

I definitely drank too much wine last night. I woke up this morning sore from sleeping on the couch and the TV was still on. I don't even remember what I was watching when I fell asleep, I just remember the wine tasting delicious. My mouth is dry and my stomach is rolling in protest. I tried drinking some water but only got one good chug down before I thought I might throw up. I gave up any sort of productive ideas for the day and have been lying in bed reading for the last five hours dozing in and out of sleep occasionally but haven't gotten in the really good nap that I think I need.

At five I decide to finally roll out of bed and take a shower. I hope that will wake me up and make me feel better. By the time I finish in the bathroom I do feel more refreshed and awake but I’m also starving. I putz around the kitchen looking for something to make but am in serious need of hitting the grocery store. I really don't want to get dressed enough to eat out and I don't know any of the local delivery places so I throw on some yoga pants and a tee shirt and walk to the grocery store.

I skip the cart and grab a basket, I can't buy more than I can carry home anyways. After picking up some staples like pasta, sauce, bread and tuna I head to the produce section. I need to eat more fruits and veggies. My diet has seriously been lacking in healthy foods lately. Plus I have a kitchen again. I can cook and enjoy whatever meals I want! A smile creeps across my features at the thought.
How pissed is Ryan right now though?

“I felt it too.” A deep masculine comes from behind me. Something familiar tugs at me. I ignore it, assuming he’s talking to whoever he’s shopping with. I continue picking up and squeezing avocados for ripeness. The man clears his throat and repeats “I felt it too, Elle.” I whip around, ripe avocado in hand and come face to face with those amazing hazel eyes. The air in my lungs whooshes out of me before I can form words.

“I... excuse me?” I stutter. His eyes are trained on mine. I feel like I’m in a trance, frozen in my spot.