52 Cups of Coffee: Inspiring and insightful stories for navigating life’s uncertainties (3 page)

Laurie Lonsdorf

Grand River Coffee and Chocolate in Lansing, Michigan

Medium brewed coffee

Decide what you love and find a way to
make money doing it.

It started with a tweet
. Laurie Lonsdorf, a former Michigander turned Washingtonian announced she was moving back to Lansing. Weeks before the move, Laurie decided to get a headstart on meeting people and began connecting with Lansing residents over Twitter. That was how we originally met. We started talking, and I learned that her profile picture, which depicts her wearing a tiara, and her Twitter screen name @Princesslons, corresponded with her business moniker, the Princess of Persuasion. In Seattle, Laurie had worked as a Self-Employed Marketing Copywriter and Communications Strategist and picked up the princess guise to become memorable and attract clientele.

Marketing
was my major and entrepreneurship is what I love, so I was interested in hearing her story. She wanted to get to know another new face, which meant she was a perfect pick for Cup 4. I picked a coffee shop downtown, and when Laurie walked in, I immediately recognized her from her profile picture. We ordered our coffees—she had an iced brewed coffee, while I ordered a regular—and found a spot on the oversized leather couches near the big windows, overlooking the activity of downtown. It didn’t take me long to ask the question she’d been getting a lot: “Why did you move back to Michigan?”

Laurie had left for college in Colorado
after graduating from high school in East Lansing, and eventually ended up in Seattle, where she’d been for the past 20 years. While she liked the city, she realized it was time for a change. A good friend of hers from high school had been considering moving back to Lansing and was trying to convince Laurie to join her. She still had friends in the area and found the entrepreneurial feel and hospitality of the community appealing, so she decided she would relocate her life back to Lansing.

I was fascinated with her role as the Princess of Persu
asion, so I asked what steps she’d taken to get there: did she get a Master’s Degree? Where did she find her clients? How did she handle the highs and lows of self-employment?

Her answer
, “No, I don’t have a Master’s Degree, but by now I should have a Ph.D. from the school of Hard Knocks.” Laurie had picked up some books and taught herself along the way—she created her business based on trial-and-error. She realized that she couldn’t wait around for permission to start a business; she had to take action and hustle. She knew that to stay in business she would have to go out and make a name for herself, so she attended networking events like crazy. That’s when she found the tiara and decided to take it to events as a way to break the ice with people. She was right; it got to a point where she’d just walk into a room, and people would call out, “Hi, Princess!”

I
stopped her to ask: “How on earth did you find the courage to walk into a room full of business professionals while wearing a tiara?” She said it wasn’t easy. From the moment she put the tiara on in her car, to right before she walked into the room, she kept wondering what she was doing. Nevertheless, she pushed through the fear, and the courage to be unique and stand out paid off: her business in Seattle started to grow.

While Laurie had now moved back to Lansing, the “Pri
ncess of Persuasion” hadn’t quite made the move. She was still deciding whether to rebuild her business in Lansing or look for a J.O.B. (how she referred to any position where her boss was anyone other than herself). She also wasn’t sure how the community would respond to a tiara-wearing newbie, so she’d decided to get a feel for the community first.

Plus, t
here was one other thing stopping her. While she was good at her job of copywriting, it wasn’t what she was truly passionate about doing. Laurie loved to get out and talk to people, rather than sit around and write. Her challenge now was to uncover her true passion and then find a way to make money doing it. I was in the same boat. College seniors are often asked what they want to do after graduation; as much as I wished I had a straight answer to give, the truth was that I didn’t know. I was still trying to decide what I wanted to be “when I grew up.”

I think I was happily naïve in thinking that, once I figure out what I want to do
post graduation, I will have my whole life figured out. After talking with Laurie, I realized that the question,
What do I want to do with my life?
never goes away. Circumstances change; opportunities arise. My life is at a crossroads, and there is a high probability that over the next 25 years, I will come to many more. However, what Laurie helped me realize is that while crossroads are stressful, they also create opportunities to shake things up, get a change of scenery, meet new people, and reevaluate what is (and is not) important.

Over the course of our coffee, Laurie
’s story proved she was willing to take chances, to put herself out there, and to work hard until she succeeded. As long as she packed up those skills and moved them to Michigan with her, she will find a fantastic J.O.B.—or successfully rebuild her freelance business—doing what she loves.

I
hope I can do the same.

David Murray

Caribou Coffee in Troy, Michigan

Small Pluot green tea

Live in the moment, have no regrets, and work hard for the greater good.

I knew David Murray from the periphery. I had been in the same room with him on a handful of occasions, and followed him on Twitter, but we had never talked. I’d first heard about him when I attended an event he co-chaired in Detroit that brought together a variety of innovative people to talk technology and re-energize Detroit. Inspired by his efforts to build a better community, I decided to make time to meet officially. I was going to be in Detroit for a day, so I emailed him and set up a meeting.

By one o
’clock the afternoon of our meeting, I had already had more coffee than a girl needs in one day, and David doesn’t drink much coffee, so we both opted for iced tea. So technically, we did not have a cup of coffee, but we were in a coffee shop, and I’m making the rules here, so I decided it counts.

After Cup 4
, I’d been mulling over the concept of passion.
What am I passionate about? How can I create a career around that passion?
These are the two toughest questions I’ve yet to answer since I’ve been in college—harder than any of the awful essay questions on final exams I’ve spent countless hours studying for over the previous three years. I know how to use tests to calculate the mean for statistical research, and I know how to say, “Where is the record store?” in Spanish, but I haven’t come across the answer for how to make major life decisions.

I decided to ask David because I knew he understood pa
ssion. He voluntarily devoted his time and energy to starting projects in Detroit. Not
rebuild the engine on my old Chevy
projects, but rather,
let’s organize a two-day conference on innovation and technology in Michigan
and
bring in big name speakers while we’re at it
projects. Undertakings of that magnitude required huge amounts of passion, which meant David likely had an insight or two about the topic.

I found out he had more than just an insight or two. Throughout our conversation, he offered one piece of advice after another and in a straightforward way. In the middle of a response or story he would stop, hit the table
for emphasis and say, “Here’s something to take away.” Then he would explain a concept or habit that had greatly helped him, almost like a thoughtful professor pointing out the points in the lecture that would be on the test. I took mental notes—the test of life is one I want to pass.

Here are
a few of the key ones:

Point 1
: When it comes to job searching, here’s the deal: your resume is not important. Okay, it’s important, but it’s not that important. What you learned in college does matter, but it’s not the deciding factor. You can’t let those things define you and the future success of your career.
Decide what you want to do and go do it.
Pick up a book and learn something, ignore the fear that’s stopping you, be willing to try something new—those skills will take you farther than a good GPA.

And along the way, pick up “badges” like Girl Scouts:
speaking at a conference is a badge; organizing a 5k fundraiser is a badge; completing a research project at your internship is a badge. Failing—if you learn from the experience—can be a badge, too. Then use those badges to show people what you’re capable of doing.

Point 2:
Build a foundation. David talked a lot about working to improve the greater good. He said he had always tried to make the place he was living better, which led to the second take-away: Decide on the principles you wish to live by. Then let those principles become the foundation for your life—just as concrete is the foundation for a house. A contractor doesn’t start building the first floor without a foundation firmly in place; I shouldn’t build a career without first knowing my core principles.

Once you
’ve got the foundation, you build life experiences on top of it. My first job in the “real world” will be the first floor of my house, and as I advance through life, I can build upon the previous levels. At one point, I might decide I’m not happy with a level or addition I’ve built. That’s fine; I can renovate, or demolish and rebuild, but the foundation won’t change. It is always there, providing support and direction for my life.

Point 3:
The final point I’ll share is one I’ve believed for a long time. David said 90% of happiness was surrounding yourself with the right people. David can thrive because the people in his life—from his wife and family to his coworkers and friends—inspire him, support him, and love him. That is 90% of the battle. The remaining 10% is making enough money to put food on the table and a roof over your head, with enough left over to buy the things you need. Combine that with a career based on solid principles that align with your passion and contribute to the greater good, and you will be all right in life.

* * *

If a course in Major Life Decision Making did exist, the hour I spent with David would have made for a great lecture. I realized that it is not about what you do, but how you do it that matters. Our conversation wasn’t about how to find a job; it was about how to live your life. I decided that when I begin my post-college career search, I would focus less on job descriptions and company profiles and, instead, focus my attention inward.
What are the core principles in my life? What do I love to do? How can I contribute to the world?
Only then could I look for a career that aligned with those answers. I would build a foundation before the house.

Our conversation also helped me see the career search within
the context of the bigger picture. When David receives praise and attention for his efforts, he is quick to point out and praise others who are working equally hard to make a difference. He is not in it for fame and attention—he is in it for the community and the greater good. That is a powerful characteristic to have, and one that resonated from our conversation.

The job or career search
can easily become a quest for
me
. Where can
I
make the most money, where can
I
get the best benefits, where can
I
shine? The job market is tough—you have to be looking out for yourself—but David shows the power of turning that mindset around. Yes, it was
my
job,
my
career, and
my
life, but instead of searching for the job or career that creates the biggest impact on
me
, why not find a career where I can have an impact on
others
—where I can contribute to the greater good?