52 Cups of Coffee: Inspiring and insightful stories for navigating life’s uncertainties (5 page)

Barbara Burnham

Little Daddy
’s Family Restaurant outside Detroit, Michigan

Bottomless cup of fresh
ly brewed coffee

L
ife rarely goes according to plan; just keep growing.

Barbara Burnham
’s life was right on track: she had graduated from college, found a job, married her college sweetheart, had babies, and achieved her goal of being a stay-at-home mom. For as long as she could remember, that was exactly the life she wanted.

T
he Barbara I sat down to coffee with at Little Daddy’s Family Restaurant outside of Detroit is much more than just a wife and mother. She has become a licensed builder, renovation consultant, designer, and now an emerging entrepreneur with no plans to stop working anytime soon.

The life she
has created differs greatly from the life she had planned. What happened? Well, as John Lennon said:
Life is what happens to you when you’re busy making other plans.

Barbara
is 5’8” with short blonde hair, wears bronze-colored glasses, and is old enough to be a grandma—because she is one. She told me all this in an email so that I would be able to find her at the restaurant. If she hadn’t let me know, I would never have guessed Barbara’s age. She has the exuberance and spirit of a woman who is eternally young at heart. I liked her immediately and was grateful our mutual friend suggested we meet.

* * *

We sat down at a table and placed our orders. Then we jumped into the conversation.

Barbara had loved her role as a mother; however, she kn
ew something was missing. Her artistic talents weren’t being used, so she found a landscape-design job she could do from home; each night, after she had put the kids to bed, she worked until 2 a.m. completing her assigned project. It was a challenge to juggle, but it gave her the creative outlet she needed.

When her children entered elementary school, she found a job where she could be
back home before they came home from school. She worked for a builder who recognized her talents and encouraged her to get her builder’s license. She studied for the exam, passed it, and advanced into a new career opportunity.

A few years later
, she started doing small renovation projects for friends: kitchens, bathrooms, etc. One day, she had been looking at her finances and realized that when she worked for the contractor she kept only 20% of the profits. But if she worked for herself—doing the same thing—she could keep 100% of the profits. That was when she decided it was time to take the plunge and start a design-consulting firm.

After 13 years in that role, she
saw another opportunity. For her sister’s 60
th
birthday, Barbara had made a beautiful piece of artwork out of relief tiles with the logo of her sister’s alma mater. The piece, which now hung in her sister’s house, received endless compliments from friends. The gift had made Barbara realize the potential for college-themed tiles. With her years of experience working with tiles, she knew she had found a business opportunity that was perfect for her.

The process of becoming an entrepreneur was once again difficult. Barbara had to teach herself new things, take risks, go outside her comfort zone, and deal with the mistakes every entrepreneur experiences at one point or another.
Amidst the challenges, the process had come along with big rewards.

As Barbara told me stories of her past, I realized her method: she followed a simple pattern repeatedly. She would make a plan and follow it, but when something felt out of place, or she recognized a new opportunity, Barbara made a change. She stepped out of her comfort zone to try something new. This
action caused her to learn, to grow, and ultimately to gain experience and confidence, which she could then leverage into a new opportunity and restructure her plan.

Throughout her life—as in everyone
’s life, for that matter—she experienced two types of change: internal and external. Barbara’s husband had a job that required them to move to places they hadn’t planned (external). Barbara realized she needed a job in addition to being a stay-at-home mom (internal). With her mindset, she could cope with both types of change.

* * *

There are two ways to respond to unexpected change: let the change control you, or take control of the change. Barbara chooses the latter. She listens to her heart and works hard in whatever situation life throws her way. As a result, she is now doing a job for which she is passionate and has a wonderful family and fulfilling life. She knows she has much more to accomplish in her career, but she is on the right path. Hers is a constant journey, with no concrete destination.

I greatly appreciate
d Barbara’s insight, because it helped me understand a quote I once heard:
You can do everything, just not at the same time.

Every time Barbara
tries something new, she starts a new chapter in her life. She has been able to do this because she never stops growing and taking risks. She never stays stuck in a rut for too long. Growing, learning, meeting new people, trying new things: those are the things that keep her life exciting and wonderful.

After having a cup of coffee with Barbara, I
felt a sense of relief about the future. I learned that, as much as I plan or try to follow a specific path, my life is not going to end up the way I expect. But this uncertainty is okay, because if I react to the change with the right mindset, continually try new things, and seek opportunities I am passionate about, life will be just fine.

William Ward

Cosi in East Lansing, Michigan

Grande brewed coffee

Never underestimate the effect you can have on someone.

Lou Anna K. Simon
(whom you’ll meet in Cup 16) is the president of Michigan State University. She made the above quote to a small group of MSU seniors at a dinner reception I attended a few hours after I had Cup 9 with Dr. William Ward.

The remark was part of a larger talk about the various ways Michigan State
was working toward a brighter future. The timing was fitting. Bill (as Dr. Ward has asked me to call him) and I had spent much of our conversation discussing education and brighter futures.

* * *

Bill is a marketing professor, but far from the traditional academic. After finishing college, he went to work in the corporate world before trying a stint as an adjunct professor. He enjoyed the classroom and realized that continuing on the teaching path would require a Ph.D., so he earned a doctorate in Media and Information Studies while continuing to teach in the classroom.

Since earning his
Ph.D., Bill had been across the region, working at various universities while keeping one foot in the business world as an independent consultant. One thing I quickly noticed is that Bill is a bit of a renegade—he does things his way.

I c
ould appreciate that because, in my eyes, the education system needs a few renegades to shake things up.

The Internet ha
s changed the game, and the current education system isn’t keeping up. The slow change is understandable, considering the size and structure of the long-established university system—it’s hard for large bureaucracies to be nimble. Affordable computers, smart phones, and social networks have made access to knowledge inexpensive and easy, while simultaneously increasing the challenge of captivating students’ attention. Today’s students learn differently than students of 20 years ago, yet most classrooms have stayed the same.

Bill
isn’t afraid to explore change. The marketing class he teaches at Grand Valley State University doesn’t follow the typical protocol: read the textbook, tune into the lecture, and sufficiently memorize the material to answer enough multiple-choice questions to pass the exam. His style forces students to use the new tools of marketing: social media, free online resources, web applications, and expert blogs. His class keeps up-to-date on the latest news, and engages in relevant conversations in the classroom and online—things people actually do in business.

His students
aren’t always fans of the process. As a teaching assistant at MSU, I noticed students often care more about grades and less about actually learning something. They like classes that are clearly defined, where they know exactly what they’re supposed to “learn” and how. Bill’s classes are much more fluid, which means they are harder to navigate and require students to be more engaged.

As I talked to Bill
, it was encouraging to see someone who didn’t let old traditions prevent future growth and change. We often get caught following routines without stopping to check if there’s a better way to approach the situation; we fail to realize that the way we’ve done it before isn’t necessarily the best way to do it now.

* * *

I was thinking about this at the reception with President Simon. Michigan State isn’t perfect—no university is; education is a complicated and unwieldy endeavor. But, it seemed like the university was working hard to make MSU a better learning environment for everyone. In attendance at the reception were a handful of leaders in the community, and many discussed new initiatives focused on advancing the university, from new energy technologies to more student-centered programs. The energy I sensed matched the energy I felt in Bill; there is something powerful about being around people looking to find new solutions to old problems, to push boundaries.

I think
this is a part of what President Simon meant when she talked about the influence you could have on others. When you surround yourself with the right people, the result can be very powerful; even small interactions led to big results.

Even if most of them didn’t pan out, what if just one of the ideas presented at President Simon’s reception ended up
being the spark that ignited change at MSU? Likewise, Bill chose to challenge the norms of education in a single classroom, with just a handful of students he was directly responsible for. But, what if just one of those students learned something about business that made the difference between success and giving up?

That’s the sort of effect we can have on people.