5ive Star Bitch (13 page)
Authors: Tremayne Johnson
I tried to get the words out of my mouth, but they just wouldn’t come out. I saw Dorian’s facial expression when he realized what was going on. He looked like a deer caught in some headlights in the midst of the night.
He kneeled down beside me, and wrapped his arm around me. He didn’t say a word. He didn’t have to. We knew what each other’s thought were. He picked me up and walked me to my room, which was down the hall, and we sat there in silence until the ambulance arrived.
A part of me didn’t want to see the medics carrying my grandmother out in a bag, but a part of me did. Dorian stayed close by my side which helped a lot. He was taking this whole situation much better than I was. I guess he was prepared for it. My grandmother had always told us to prepare our minds for the worst, but wish for the best. I never had a clue that this is what she was referring to.
I couldn’t stop crying. Even when I thought I had it under control, just one smidgeon of a memory about her made my emotions boil over and I would start balling again. I covered my eyes while the medics rolled her out the house on a gurney. I wanted to peek, but I didn’t. When I pulled my hands down from my face, they were closing the doors to the Coroner’s van.
A WEEK LATER
On the morning of my grandmother’s funeral, the sun was shining bright. I got up early, made breakfast for me and Dorian and got dressed. As I stood in my room, looking at myself in my full body mirror, my nerves suddenly calmed. I wasn’t as anxious as I had been the past few days, and my stomach no longer had that queasy feeling. I was trying my best to come to grips with the fact that my grandmother was gone, and never coming back, but it was hard. I could still hear her voice in my head. I could still understand every word that she was saying to me, but the words were distant now; like they were miles away.
I was proud of myself because when they lowered my grandmother’s casket into the ground, I smiled. It was a natural reaction; something that just happened. It reminded that my grandmother was now in a better place. She was at peace.
She once told me that when God needed her services he would call for her. I guess this was the call she had been waiting for. She always said that she was going to straight to heaven to cook a meal for her God. Back then, I couldn’t find the humor in those words, but now, now things were different, and I was fully aware of what she was trying to tell me.
After her service, we invited her close friends and some of their family members over to the house for some personal memories, some laughs and a lot of food. We ate, talked about my grandmother all night long, and had a great time getting to know each other.
Raquel and Jillian was the last people to leave. I adored our friendship because Raquel was going through so much on her own, that I didn’t know how she was able to be there for me. And Jillian was always going to be herself. I already knew what to expect from her. She was always right at my side when something went down. I could always count on her. That was my girl.
“Hey,” I said, stopping them before they left out. “I appreciate you guys sticking around and helping us out.”
“Please, girl, you know how we rock,” Jillian said.
“We’re here for you, Cherish… and we’ll always be,” Raquel said, giving me a hug.
A phone beeped and we all looked around to see where it was coming from. I spotted it on the end table and went over to get it.
“Oh, that’s mines!” Jillian said, realizing she didn’t have her phone.
I snatched the phone and couldn’t help but to see the text message displayed across the front screen.
Meet me at the spot in 2 hours
It surprised me because the contact was Colin.
Why would he and Jillian be meeting up at three o clock in the morning?
But right now wasn’t the time for me to be thinking about that. So, I handed Jillian her phone and her and Raquel left.
The house was silent. It was eerie silence. A silence I didn’t want to get familiar with. It was too silent for me. Dorian had gone out with God knows who and it was just me, myself, and I in this big ass house. I would make it my business to let Dorian know about what I found. I’m sure he knows that I found it, because at the time I found my grandmother in her room, I had the sweatshirt with his drugs in it. I had forgotten all about it, but I’m pretty sure Dorian saw it when he came in the room.
As I sat there flicking through the television channels, my phone rung. It was Simeon. I hesitated at first, but then I picked it up.
“Hello,”
“Cherish, I’m sorry to hear about your grandmother. I send my love and condolences to you and your family. I miss you baby. I hope you’re alright,” he said.
“Thank you, Simeon. It means a lot, but since when am I your baby. What about your fiancé?”
I think the question startled him because there was a long pause.
“Listen, Cherish… I was gon’ tell you about that,”
“Oh yeah, when Simeon?”
“I’m not getting married, Cherish.”
“Did you tell her that, because I’m not the one you need to be telling that to.”
“I haven’t gotten around to it yet, but I will,” he said.
“Well, when you handle that, then you call me.”
“But, Cherish—”
“No buts, Simeon… Kaylin is my little sister,” I told him.
There was another long pause.
“Hello?” I didn’t know if he hung up or not, “Hello?”
“Your sister?”
“Yes, my sister. My father’s daughter; and I’m just as shocked as you are because I just found out myself.”
“Your sister?”
“Listen, Simeon… I like you. I like you a lot, but I got a lot of shit going on in my life right now. I don’t have time to deal with bullshit, and I’m not going to waste my time on something that ain’t going anywhere.”
“But Cherish, I understand that. And that’s why I wanna be there for you. I like you a lot too, fuck that… I love you Cherish, and I want us to be together. I’ll do whateva I need to do to make that happen. You got my word. Just tell me what I need to do and it’s done,” he said.
This time I paused. I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t know how to react. This man just told me he loved me.
“I don’t think it’s the right time, Colin…”
“Colin, who the fuck is, Colin?”
“”I’m sorry, Simeon. It’s just not the right time,” I corrected myself. Damn, I was slipping.
“Oh, so, that’s what it is, huh? You got somebody else.”
“No, Simeon… you have somebody else… your fiancé, remember?”
“Stop tryna throw that in my face, we know that, but what about, Colin, who the fuck is he? Must be someone important to have you calling me, him,” he said.
“I said I was sorry, Simeon. Listen, my grandmother just passed away, my friend is going through a lot of shit and I’m just stressed right now. Like I said, it’s not the right time,” I told him.
“Well, when is the right time, Cherish?”
“I don’t know, Simeon.”
There was pause. All I could hear were the cars riding by on the street.
“I’m coming over there, Cherish. I need to see you.”
“No, Simeon, you can’t.”
“Why not, Colin’s there?”
“Goodbye, Simeon…”
“I’ll be there in twenty minutes…”
“I said—”
The phone went dead and I just stared up at the ceiling.
“God, why me?”
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