5ive Star Bitch (9 page)

When the sun came up I was wide awake. I hadn’t slept one minute. I spent my night staring out the window, watching the rain pour from the sky. I did doze off once, and I found myself lying on Colin’s chest, so I shook it off and fought sleep for the rest of the night. Dorian was knocked out. He got a comforter from a nurse and made himself a pallet on the carpeted floor.

“Miss Parker, your grandmother is awake,” the doctor said.

I shook Dorian’s shoulder, “Dorian, get up… Dorian, get up…” he rolled over and looked at me, and then he looked at his surroundings. “Grandma’s up, c’mon,” I told him, helping him up.

The three of us walked down the hall and into my grandmother’s room. It was quiet. The television was on, but the volume was low.

“Hey, grandma,” I said, walking over to her bed.

She opened her eyes. “Hey, Cherish, where’s your brother?” her voice was low but Dorian heard her.

“I’m right here, grandma,” he walked over and stood beside me.

I could feel my eyes getting watery the longer I stood there, looking at her lying in that bed, she was helpless. I wished she had taken better care of herself, but grandma was grandma, and nobody could tell grandma anything.

“You alright, Dorian?” she asked.

“Yes, grandma, are you alright?”

“I’m jus’ fine; ain’t nuttin’ I can’t handle,” she paused and then looked at me and smiled, “Is that Colin over there?”

“Yes, it’s me, Mrs. Parker, you okay?”

“Yeah, now that y’all here, y’all can get me outta here,” she tried to sit up and get off the bed, but she was too weak and had to lie back down.

“Grandma, what are you doing?” I rushed to help her so she wouldn’t fall, “You can’t go anywhere yet. They said they need to run more test,”

“
More test?
Listen, Cherish, I don’t want these people runnin’ no mo’ test on me, you hear me? Now, get me outta here,” she said.

“You can’t leave yet, grandma,” Dorian told her.

“Grandma, why didn’t you tell about the diabetes?” I asked her.

“Oh, Cherish… please, ain’t nobody worried ‘bout no diabetes, I been living wit’ diabetes all my life.”

“Yeah, but it got worse, grandma…” Dorian replied.

“Yeah, and if you would have been taking the medication they told you to take, it might not be so bad,” I told her.

“I ain’t takin’ no damn medication, Cherish. Them drugs they givin’ these people is killin’ ‘em,” she paused and shook her head, “Not me, they ain’t gon’ kill me, let me die on my own.”

“Can you please stop talking about dying, grandma,” Dorian said.

“We all gon’ die, Dorian. Each and every one of us got to go someday. That’s the only thing we can count on. Thing is, while you here on God’s earth, make the best of it, be what he intended you to be. I know you gon’ make mistakes, we all do, but learn from your mistakes, you hear me?”

“Yes, grandma,”

“And I’ma tell you somethin’,” she looked Dorian square in his eyes. “If you keep runnin’ around wit’ them knuckleheads, yo’ ass gon’ be in a world of trouble. And if you think I’m lying, ask you sister, she’ll tell you all about it.”

“But I’m not doing anything,” he whined.

“Tell that to somebody else, boy… a hard head make a soft behind.”

It took some time convincing my grandmother that she had to stay in the hospital. She really wasn’t trying to hear it. She snatched out her IV and knocked the table over that was beside her bed. I had never seen her act that way. I could see from the look on her face that she didn’t want to be there, but there was nothing we could do. She needed to be treated for her disease. She needed to get better. We needed her. Without my grandmother, I don’t what I would do.

_________

A full week passed and my grandmother was released from the hospital. The moment she walked through the door I could tell by the expression on her face she was feeling much better.  The joy of having her back home was unexplainable.

“Hey grandma, how are you feeling?” I asked, giving her a hug.

“I’m fine, Cherish… jus’ fine…”

“Why didn’t you call me to come and pick you up?”

“It’s alright baby, I jus’ wanna lay in my own bed,” she said.

I grabbed the bag she had and walked her up the steps.

“Where’s Colin?” she asked.

I smiled. My grandmother thought she was slick. She loved her some Colin. “He said he was going to the store,” I told her.

“Where’s your heard headed brother?”

“He’s in his room, playing that game.”

Just as she was about to call his name, Dorian came rushing out of his room and met us at the top of the steps.

“Oh,” he was surprised. “Hey grandma,” he hugged her, kissed her cheek and continued down the steps.

“Where you think you going?” I asked him.

“I’m ‘bout to take a ride wit’ Colin, why, wassup?”

“A ride with Colin, for what?”

“I gotta show him a few things. It’s been a minute since he’s been here,” he replied, walking out the front door.

I didn’t have a clue of what Dorian and Colin were up to, but it didn’t sit right with me. Colin didn’t need to be hanging out with my little brother; not that he’s a bad influence, because honestly; Dorian gets into more shit than Colin ever did. Either way, I didn’t want them hanging out. It was senseless to me, but it was also obvious that something was going on.

I helped my grandmother into her room and she got comfortable on her bed.

“Ahh… I could lay here and never move,” she said.

“Don’t say things like that grandma, you scare me.”

“Cherish, it ain’t nothin’ to be scared of. You gotta start learning to deal wit’ life as is. Being afraid to die is only gonna make you more fearful of living. Death happens regardless, we all know that. I want you to live, Cherish, live your life. Take care of your little brother and make sure he’s alright. That’s what you do.”

I stared at her. Her words were like cement bricks, smacking me in the face, one by one. It was like she was preparing me for her departure. I wanted to cry, but I had to stand tall and be strong for us all. My grandmother was a wise woman and she had lived a long, positive and prosperous life. It was killing me to hear her talk like this.

“Okay, I hear you grandma, but I know one thing, if I leave out and come back, you better wake up,” I said, and we laughed.

The entire time my grandmother was away in the hospital, Colin had been staying at the house with me. No, we weren’t back together, but he felt it was his duty to make sure I was alright. I thought that was cute. Shit, at least somebody cared. He even managed to sneak his ass into the bed with me one night; and no, we didn’t fuck. Honestly, I barely let him touch me. Colin knew exactly what he was doing. He knew me; probably better than I knew myself, which was kind of crazy. But I wasn’t going for any of his bullshit and he also knew that.

11

August came and it was hot as fuck! I swear I wanted to walk around naked all day long, but I couldn’t. Since I knew my grandmother was going to need help, I officially moved in with her and my little brother. It felt good sitting at the dinner table eating; just the three of us; sometimes four of us whenever Colin showed up.

I recently found a broker to sell my loft and I was still sitting pretty off that nice lump sum of change that Marlon had given me. He had been calling nonstop too, begging for me to talk to him, claiming it was important. I wasn’t trying to hear that nigga, fuck him. If I never saw that muthafucka again a day in my life, I’d be happy. Fuck Marlon.

Since my grandmother’s incident I hadn’t heard too much from Simeon either. He did contact me to see if I needed anything, and he said he was just going to give me some space to deal with my family issues. I could do nothing but respect that. I wanted to fuck him, but I hadn’t. I didn’t think he had done anything deserving of it yet, but I really did want to see what he was working with. Being that he had a fiancé; rather, an ex-fiancé, was making me hesitate a bit. But if it was meant to be, it was definitely going to happen.

With me spending more time inside, I decided to take on my dream of starting my own business, via internet. One of my hobbies as a child was making jewelry. I don’t know where I picked it up, but I had been doing it since I could remember. I had thousands of handmade pieces jewelry that I had spent hours creating.

After attending a business seminar with Marlon, I got encouraged to become an entrepreneur. Marlon acted like he was all for it, but he kept telling me to wait until the time was right. After he told me that countless times; I pushed my idea to the side and just went with the flow. But I guess he was right in a sense, because now I had the time to put into it and my own resources to fund it.

I had been in contact with a graphic designer for the past two weeks. He texted me saying that my site was almost ready to go live. I was excited. My line was going to be called CHERISH. Wow, ain’t that some shit, Cherish Parker, business owner; sounds good to me. And the name really meant something because my grandmother was the one who suggested it. As soon as I asked her, she came up with it, and I loved it.

My phone rang and I saw it was Jillian, so I picked it up. “Hello.”

“Cherish, did you speak to Raq?”

“No, why… what happened?”

“Oh my fucking God, I’ll be there in ten minutes, you ain’t gon’ believe this shit,” she said, and hung up.

For the next ten minutes I paced the living room carpet at least a thousand times. My nerves were shot.
What the fuck could’ve happened?
Jillian was taking too fucking long. I kept checking the door to see if she pulled up, but she never came.

An hour later I heard a knock at the front door.

“Damn, bitch, what took you so long?” I asked Jillian. She was soaked. I didn’t even know it started raining.

“Ughhh!” she dropped her bag and wiped her feet on the welcome carpet. “This fuckin’ asshole pulled me over,” she cursed.

“Who, Tim?”

“Yes, he’s a fuckin’ asshole. I wish I never fucked that nigga, I swear…”

I laughed, “Too late for that.”

“Shut up, bitch…” Jillian cursed me out and walked into the living room. “Where’s your grandmother?”

“She’s upstairs… what was so important?”

“Oh, your girl Raq is pregnant by that nigga who raped her.”

“What!” I couldn’t believe what Jillian said. No fucking way. Hell no! “Are you fucking serious, who told you that?”

“Everybody knows. I’m surprised she hasn’t called you.”

“I don’t believe it. I have to hear this from her,” I picked my phone up and dialed Raquel’s number, but I didn’t get an answer. I tried two more times and she still didn’t pick up, so I left her a message, telling her to call me.

“And you know the fucked up part about it… she can’t get rid of it,” Jillian said.

“Why can’t she?”

“You know, they’re Muslim, so they don’t believe in abortion.”

“This is crazy,”

“And…” Jillian said. “Her husband said he wants a divorce.”

“Jill, are you telling the truth?”

“Bitch, I wouldn’t lie about no shit like this. You know I fucks with Raq jus’ like you do. It’s fucked up she gotta go through this shit.”

I felt bad for my friend. She didn’t deserve to go through all this bullshit. And just when I was about to say something to Jillian, my phone rang. It was Raquel.

“Hello,” I answered, anxious to speak to her.

“Hey Cherish,” she replied.

“Raquel, you alright?”

“No.”

“Where are you?”

“I’m home.”

“Me and Jill are coming over.”

“Okay.” She hung up.

“C’mon, Jill…” I grabbed my keys and we jumped in my car and rode to Raquel’s house.

When we got there, the door was open, so we walked in. The house smelled like cinnamon and Mary J. Blige was playing through the speakers. Raquel was sitting in her living room on the sofa, scooping ice cream out of a mug, staring at a blank television screen.

“Raquel,” I called her name and she turned around. Her face was flush with tears. I rushed to her side and sat on the sofa next to her. “It’s gonna be alright, you hear me? Stop crying,” I told her, wiping the tears from her face.