A Beautiful Forever (21 page)

I shake my head laughing. I'm not about to let him take a
photo of me topless. “No way mister. You’re not getting a titty shot of me.”

“Not of your breasts Paige, of your back.”

I take a deep breath to steady the sudden nerves I feel at
him mentioning it. I have become used to him tracing the Phoenix's wings, tail
and claws when we’re in bed together, showing it around him doesn’t seem so
scary anymore. But he still doesn’t understand the true meaning behind it. I'm
not sure how I feel about doing this.

“You don’t have to if you really don’t want to, I just think
you’re so beautiful and your tattoo is breathtaking, I want to be able to still
look at it while we aren’t together.”

I sit and stare for a moment, studying his hopeful face.
“Alright,” I concede.

“Really?”

“Yes, really.” I stand up and move over to the bed before I
can change my mind.  Undoing my robe so it falls to my waist as I sit with my
back to him. I twist my hair and hold it up on top of my head with one arm and
look over my shoulder at him to check if he's ready.

It’s then that he takes the photo. He smiles fondly at it as
he brings it over to me to look at. It almost looks like a professional photo;
the lighting is perfect, and my face has a mixture of trepidation and adoration
on it.

“Beautiful,” he breaths, looking at it and kissing my neck.

He sighs heavily as he puts his phone to the side and meets
my eyes, I can tell he wants to say something, but he’s warring with himself
before he begins.

“What is it?” I ask.

“I just… I just want you to know that I’ve never been
happier than when I’m with you. I want you to know that I – ”

“Don’t Elliot,” I say quickly, cutting him off. “Don’t say
anything to make this harder. I’m staying and you’re going.
Please
don’t
try and change that.”

“It doesn’t have to end when I go Paige, you could come with
me – or I could come back – or you could come with me and then we both come
back,” he argues regardless. “Don’t end this Paige, you know how I feel about
you, even if you don’t want to hear it, and I’m pretty sure you feel the same
way about me. We can do this Paige; we can do this anywhere you want, any
country you want. I just want you.”

Tears are threatening to spill from my eyes as I pull my
robe back over my shoulders and close it tightly around me. “Elliot, you can do
so much better than me. Why are you pushing this?”

“Because I love you dammit!” he yells suddenly, his outburst
scaring the shit out of me as he jumps off the bed and starts to pace the room.
I sit there, trying not to cry as I watch him work through his emotions. When
he stops and looks at me his eyes are shining as well. “Why won’t you tell me
what makes you so sad? Why don’t you trust me enough to love you no matter what
you may have done?”

“Because you wouldn’t Elliot, you couldn’t love me if I told
you everything about me,” I say, tears flowing freely now as I stand up and try
to move towards him.

“Why won’t you just tell me Paige!” he yells, exasperation
written all over his face as his eyes plead with me. “Let me make my own
fucking choices!”

I place my now shaking hands on his chest and look into his
eyes imploring him to stop, “Please Elliot, can you just accept that the time
we have left is it? I can’t go back with you. I need to stay here and finally
deal with my mother, and you need to go back to your life.”

“Paige –
you
are my life, can’t you understand that?
I don’t want to go back without you.”

He circles his arms around me and kisses me as the tears
continue to flow from my eyes, pressing his forehead against mine he breathes
in deeply and speaks in a strained voice, “Come back with me Paige.”

I step back from him, our eyes locked as he waits for me to
answer, his eyes widen as the realisation hits him that I’m not going to answer
him. Pressing his palms to his eyes before he rakes his hands through his hair,
he blows out a charged breath and steps back from me.

Moving quickly, he pulls on a pair of pants, dropping his
robe on the floor where he stands, and picks up his shirt and shoes, then looks
at me, pain behind his eyes as he shakes his head, frowning. Making his way to
the door, he pauses momentarily before walking out, closing it quietly behind
him.

For some reason, I feel worse than if he had slammed it, at
least I’d know he was angry and going off to calm down. Right now, I don’t know
what he is and not knowing scares me even more.

A sudden panic overwhelms me, and I drop myself to the
floor, crying into my hands. Oh god, I thought I could handle this. I thought I
could cope with him leaving, but I’m falling apart and all he’s done is walked
out the door.

My emotions start to churn in my stomach as I think about
the strain our separation is going to cause over the next five days, I don’t
want to spend them fighting, but I know I can’t go with him. It wouldn’t be
right.

The acid in my stomach rises as the image of him boarding a
plane and leaving me hits home, running to the bathroom; I heave over the
toilet until the entire contents of my stomach is gone, and I’m left with
nothing but my tears as I cry into the bowl, wishing I’d never started this.  

Dropping my shoes on the floor, I stuff my feet into them as
I pull my shirt over my head, I can’t go far because I’ve left my wallet, phone
and the car keys in the room with Paige. I just need to get out of there before
I start begging her and make a total fool of myself.

A cold blast of air hits me when I step outside, but I
couldn’t care less; I need some fresh air and a chance to calm down. I walk
through the gardens until walking isn’t good enough anymore, and I break into a
run. When I reach the edge of the garden, I keep going, pushing myself harder
and faster until my legs burn, and my chest hurts from sucking in the chill
air. I drop on the ground and stare up at the bright blue sky, watching as
cumulus clouds float slowly across its expanse, mocking me with their
perfection as my insides rage on in turmoil.

I have five days to go; that's it. I don’t want to spend
them fighting. I simply wish that she’d come with me. I don’t want to leave her
behind.

I took a shower to try to calm down, and now I’m attacking
my hair with a comb to try to detangle my curls. I forgot to pack conditioner,
but it serves me right for letting Elliot love me. A head full of knots is the
least that I deserve.

When the handle of the door turns, my breath catches at the
sight of him, he looks distraught, and I feel terrible that I’m the one causing
his beautiful heart so much pain. I stand, watching him carefully as he walks
towards me with grace and speed, his arms reach out, and he pulls me towards
him, our mouths crashing together in desperate need.

“I’m sorry,” he breathes, holding me to him. “I shouldn’t
have reacted like that, I shouldn’t have yelled.” He kisses me again, more
softly this time and presses our foreheads together. “Forgive me Paige, I’ll do
whatever you want. Just don’t let this end.”

I close my eyes tightly as a single tear leaves my right eye
and slides down my cheek, Elliot holds my face and kisses it away, capturing my
mouth and sliding his hands under my shirt and over my bare skin. I’m
overwhelmed by my need for him, the fear I experienced from him leaving earlier
heightening my already intense emotions. That’s when I lose my rational mind,
that’s when I do something unforgivable.

“I’ll come back with you,” I whisper to him, even though I
know, deep down, that I’m not going to.

I think my heart just exploded in my chest, did I hear that
right? She’s coming back with me?

“You will?” I ask her, not quite believing me ears.

“I will,” she whispers, tears falling freely from her eyes.

Wiping her tears with my hands, I draw her mouth to mine,
slowly sliding my tongue in unison with hers. I have completely lost my mind,
and I’ve lost it in her. Lifting her shirt over her head, I throw it on the
floor, picking her up, so she’s wrapped around me, her body quivering as we
kiss.

I carry her over to the bed and lay her out in front of me,
kissing every part of her as I try to convey everything I’m feeling right now
in the way I am touching her and loving her with my body.

“I was so afraid you wouldn’t come back,” she whispers as
her nails drag along my back as she presses herself against me.

“I’ll never leave you Paige,” I whisper back, sliding
against her body as we rub our arousal against each other.

“I need you Elliot. I don’t think I can breathe without
you,” she murmurs as she tilts her hips, guiding my tip inside her. I freeze
momentarily, locking my eyes with hers as she thrusts her hips upwards, urging
me to enter her. “Just you, I need you,” she repeats, and I slide myself inside
her, moaning at her hot wetness as she clenches herself around me.

“God you feel amazing,” I moan as we move rhythmically
together, in a sensual dance that I’ll never have enough of. I’m crazy about
her. I'll do anything to be with her.

Clinging to each other, our mouths connected along with our
bodies, we moan and whimper as we slide together, our climax building until we
release it as one, gasping for air but refusing to part. If only we could stay
just like this, unmoving forever, this is sheer bliss.

As we lay together afterwards I trace over her tattoo with
my fingers while she rests her body over my chest. I can’t help but notice that
out of everything, she said just now, she avoided saying those three words that
would mean the next five days would be filled with hope instead of trepidation;
she never said she loves me, even though I fucking well know she does.

“I can’t believe you’re quitting on me!” Andrea moans as I
tell her my news. “And in a week! How am I supposed to replace you that
quickly?"

“I’m sorry Andrea, really I am, but I told Elliot that I’ll
go back with him,” I explain, “Don’t hate me.”

Andrea laughs as she comes toward me and gives me a friendly
hug. “I could never hate you Paige. I'll really miss working with you. To be
honest, I was pretty sure this would happen when you and Elliot got your act
together, and I’m so happy for you both. Do you think you’ll ever come back?
Because I could always use you if you do,” she asks hopefully.

“I don’t know what’s happening right now, I’m still kind of
shocked I agreed to go.”

“Well you do want to go don’t you?” she asks.

“I want him, I just kind of wanted to stay here longer –
there are things I wanted to do, but now I’ll have to put them off.”

“Well then, that settles it. You’ll have to come back and
when you do, you’ll work for me again.”

I laugh at her boldness - it’s nice to be wanted. “Alright,
I’ll come back as soon as I can,” I concede.

“Excellent, now get to work missy. You still have to finish
up all of your booked clients before Thursday.”

“Yes ma’am!” I say saluting her on a laugh as I move toward
the front of the salon and flip the sign on the door to open. Looking around
the salon I let out a sigh, I’m really going to miss it here.

“Good morning Elliot,” Celsey sings out as I enter the gym
for my last few days of work. “You’ve got a pretty busy client list today.
Everyone wants to get one final session in before you leave. Are you counting
down?” she asks, handing me a sheet of paper with my client print out on it.

“Kind of, I’m happy to be going home, but I’m really going
to miss it here. How much longer to you have?” I ask, knowing her time to leave
must be coming soon. She started at the gym not much longer after I did.

“A week and a half. I’m feeling the same way – I don’t want
to go, but I miss everyone from home.”

“Are you coming to my going away bash?” I ask as I pick up a
clip board and pen, sliding my printout under the clip.

“Wouldn’t miss it for the world,” she smiles before I move
through to the staff room to put my bag in my locker.

The first client on my list is a guy around my age called
Tony. He's here to bulk up a bit after being as skinny as a rake for most of
his life. I’ve been training him for the last two months, and he’s made some
great progress doing heavy weights and supplementing his diet with some
heavy-duty  protein powders.

I find him warming up on the treadmills and wander over to
him. “Ready for our last session?” I ask him as I approach.

“Not really. They’re giving me the guy, who's replacing you.
I have no idea if he’s any good,” he comments as he hops off the machine.

“They don’t hire just anyone here mate. I’m sure you’ll be
in good hands. Come on, let’s get started,” I say as I clap him on the back and
lead him over to the free weights area.

“Naomi, I really don’t think you should go messing with your
hair colour. It’s beautiful the way it is,” I say to her as she sits on the
salon chair discussing her style options with me.

“Paige, I want a change. My hair’s always been like this,
and I love that two-toned  look that some girls do – you know how they have
brown underneath and the blonde on top with those feathered styles that kind of
flick out?” she explains.

“Well, it’s your hair Nomes. I just don’t want you to regret
changing it, because we won’t be able to change it back once it’s done,” I
point out.

“Come on Paige, do it. I want you to be the one to give me a
new style. It'll be a way for me to remember you when you go.”

“Couldn’t you just take a picture to remember me by?” I ask
with raised eyebrows as I talk to her via the mirror. 

“Paige!” she pleads, her voice slightly whiney.

“Alright, alright, I’ll do it for you,” I submit. I get the
need for a change but when people come in with beautiful naturally coloured
hair, it always stabs at my heart a little to alter it.