A Benjamin Franklin Reader (21 page)

If the new
universal history
were also read, it would give a
connected
idea of human affairs, so far as it goes, which should be followed by the best modern histories, particularly of our mother country; then of these colonies; which should be accompanied with observations on their rise, increase, use to Great Britain, encouragements, discouragements, &c. the means to make them flourish, secure their liberties, &c.

With the history of men, times and nations, should be read at proper hours or days, some of the best
histories of nature,
which would not only be delightful to youth, and furnish them with matter for their letters, &c. as well as other history; but afterwards of great use to them, whether they are merchants, handicrafts, or divines; enabling the first the better to understand many commodities, drugs, &c. The second to improve his trade or handicraft by new mixtures, material, &c. And the last to adorn his discourses by beautiful comparisons, and strengthen them by new proofs of divine providence. The conversation of all will be improved by it, as occasions frequently occur of making natural observations, which are instructive, agreeable, and entertaining in almost all companies.
Natural history
will also afford opportunities of introducing many observations, relating to the preservation of health, which may be afterwards of great use. Arbuthnot on air and aliment, Sanctorius on perspiration, Lemery on foods, and some others, may now be read, and a very little explanation will make them sufficiently intelligible to youth.

While they are reading natural history, might not a little
gardening, planting, grafting, inoculating,
&c. be taught and practiced; and now and then excursions made to the neighboring plantations of the best farmers, their methods observed and reasoned upon for the information of youth. The improvement of agriculture being useful to all, and skill in it no disparagement to any.

The history of
commerce,
of the invention of arts, rise of manufactures, progress of trade, change of its seats, with the reasons, causes, &c. may also be made entertaining to youth, and will be useful to all. And this, with the accounts in other history of the prodigious force and effect of engines and machines used in war, will naturally introduce a desire to be instructed in
mechanics,
and to be informed of the principles of that art by which weak men perform such wonders, labor is saved, manufactures expedited, &c. &c. This will be the time to show them prints of ancient and modern machines, to explain them, to let them be copied, and to give lectures in mechanical philosophy.

With the whole should be constantly inculcated and cultivated, that
benignity of mind,
which shows itself in
searching for
and
seizing
every opportunity
to serve
and
to oblige;
and is the foundation of what is called good breeding; highly useful to the possessor, and most agreeable to all.

The idea of what is
true merit,
should also be often presented to youth, explained and impressed on their minds, as consisting in an
inclination
joined with an
ability
to serve mankind, ones country, friends and family; which
ability
is (with the blessing of god) to be acquired or greatly increased by
true learning;
and should indeed be the great
aim
and
end
of all learning.

One of Franklin’s goals in life was to provide useful advice for aspiring middle-class shopkeepers and tradesmen. He was America’s godfather of self-help business books. By creating what he called a strong “middling class,” he helped to lay the foundation for his vision of a stable civic society in America. Two pieces he wrote on this topic for his paper in 1750 show his different styles: the first is straightforward and earnest, the second a parody (along the lines of his fake list of talents for an almanac writer and the piece he wrote later on rules Britain could use for destroying its empire) listing the ways to make yourself disagreeable.

T
HE
P
ENNSYLVANIA
G
AZETTE
, F
EBRUARY
20, 1750

Rules Proper to be Observed in Trade

I. Endeavor to be perfect in the calling you are engaged in; and be assiduous in every part thereof; INDUSTRY being the natural means of acquiring
wealth, honor,
and
reputation;
as idleness is of
poverty, shame,
and
disgrace.

II. Lay a good foundation in regard to principle: Be sure not willfully to overreach, or deceive your neighbor; but keep always in your eye the golden rule of
doing as you would be done unto.

III. Be strict in discharging all legal debts: Do not evade your creditors by any shuffling arts, in giving notes under your hand, only to defer payment; but, if you have it in your power, discharge all debts when they become due. Above all, when you are straitened for want of money, be cautious of taking it up at an high interest. This has been the ruin of many, therefore endeavor to avoid it.

IV. Endeavor to be as much in your shop, or warehouse, or in whatever place your business properly lies, as possibly you can: Leave it not to servants to transact, for customers will not regard them as yourself; they generally think they shall not be so well served: Besides, mistakes may arise by the negligence, or inexperience, of servants; and therefore, your presence will prevent, probably, the loss of a good customer.

V. Be complaisant to the
meanest,
as well as greatest: You are as much obliged to use good manners for a farthing, as a pound; the one demands it from you, as well as the other.

VI. Be not too talkative, but speak as much as is necessary to recommend your goods, and always observe to keep within the rules of decency. If customers slight your goods, and undervalue them, endeavor to convince them of their mistake, if you can, but not affront them: Do not be pert in your answers, but with patience hear, and with meekness give an answer; for if you affront in a small matter, it may probably hinder you from a future good customer. They may think that you are dear in the articles they want; but, by going to another, may find it not so, and probably may return again; but if you behave rude and affronting, there is no hope either of returning, or their future custom.

VII. Take great care in keeping your accounts well: Enter every thing necessary in your books with neatness and exactness; often state your accounts, and examine whether you gain, or lose; and carefully survey your stock, and inspect into every particular of your affairs.

VIII. Take care, as much as you can, whom you trust: Neither take nor give long credit; but, at the farthest, annually settle your accounts. Deal at the fountain head for as many articles as you can; and, if it lies in your power, for ready money: This method you will find to be the most profitable in the end. Endeavor to keep a proper assortment in your way, but not over-stock yourself. Aim not at making a great figure in your shop, in unnecessary ornaments, but let it be neat and useful: Too great an appearance may rather prevent, than engage customers. Make your
business
your pleasure, and other entertainments will only appear necessary for relaxation therefrom.

IX. Strive to maintain a
fair character
in the world: That will be the best means for advancing your credit, gaining you the most flourishing trade, and enlarging your fortune. Condescend to no mean action, but add a luster to trade, by keeping up to the dignity of your nature.

T
HE
P
ENNSYLVANIA
G
AZETTE
, N
OVEMBER
15, 1750

RULES,
by the Observation of which, a Man of Wit and Learning may nevertheless make himself a
disagreeable
Companion.

Your business is to
shine;
therefore you must by all means prevent the shining of others, for their brightness may make yours the less distinguished. To this end,

1. If possible engross the whole discourse; and when other matter fails, talk much of yourself, your education, your knowledge, your circumstances, your successes in business, your victories in disputes, your own wise sayings and observations on particular occasions, &c. &c. &c.;

2. If when you are out of breath, one of the company should seize the opportunity of saying something; watch his words, and, if possible, find somewhat either in his sentiment or expression, immediately to contradict and raise a dispute upon. Rather than fail, criticize even his grammar.

3. If another should be saying an indisputably good thing; either give no attention to it; or interrupt him; or draw away the attention of others; or, if you can guess what he would be at, be quick and say it before him; or, if he gets it said, and you perceive the company plea’s with it, own it to be a good thing, and withal remark that it had been said by
Bacon, Locke, Bayle,
or some other eminent writer; thus you deprive him of the reputation he might have gained by it, and gain some yourself, as you hereby show your great reading and memory.

4. When modest men have been thus treated by you a few times, they will choose ever after to be silent in your company; then you may shine on without fear of a rival; rallying them at the same time for their dullness, which will be to you a new fund of wit.

Thus you will be sure to please
yourself.
The polite man aims at pleasing
others,
but you shall go beyond him even in that. A man can be present only in one company, but may at the same time be absent in twenty. He can please only where he
is,
you wherever you are
not.

Britain had been expelling convicts to America, which it justified as a way to help the colonies grow. Franklin sarcastically noted that “such a tender parental concern in our Mother Country for the welfare of her children calls aloud for the highest returns of gratitude.” So he proposed that America ship a boatload of rattlesnakes back to England. Perhaps the change of climate might tame them, which is what the British had claimed would happen to the convicts.

T
HE
P
ENNSYLVANIA
G
AZETTE
, M
AY
9, 1751

By a passage in one of your late papers, I understand that the government at home will not suffer our mistaken assemblies to make any law for preventing or discouraging the importation of convicts from great Britain, for this kind reason,
that such laws are against the public utility, as they tend to prevent the
improvement
and
well peopling of the colonies.

Such a tender
parental
concern in our
mother country
for the
welfare
of her children, calls aloud for the highest
returns
of gratitude and duty. This every one must be sensible of: but ’tis said, that in our present circumstances it is absolutely impossible for us to make
such
as are adequate to the favor. I own it; but nevertheless let us do our endeavor. ’Tis something to show a grateful disposition.

In some of the uninhabited parts of these provinces, there are numbers of these venomous reptiles we call rattle-snakes; felons-convict from the beginning of the world: these, whenever we meet with them, we put to death, by virtue of an old law,
thou shalt bruise his head.
But as this is a sanguinary law, and may seem too cruel; and as however mischievous those creatures are with us, they may possibly change their natures, if they were to change the climate; I would humbly propose, that this general sentence of
death
be changed for
transportation.

In the spring of the year, when they first creep out of their holes, they are feeble, heavy, slow, and easily taken; and if a small bounty were allowed
per
head, some thousands might be collected annually, and
transported
to Britain. There I would propose to have them carefully distributed in St. James’s Park, in the spring-gardens and other places of pleasure about London; in the gardens of all the nobility and gentry throughout the nation; but particularly in the gardens of the
Prime Ministers,
the
Lords of trade
and
Members of Parliament;
for to them we are
most particularly
obliged.

There is no human scheme so perfect, but some inconveniences may be objected to it: yet when the conveniences far exceed, the scheme is judged rational, and fit to be executed. Thus inconveniences have been objected to that
good
and
wise
act of Parliament, by virtue of which all the Newgates and dungeons in Britain are emptied into the colonies. It has been said, that these thieves and villains introduced among us, spoil the morals of youth in the neighborhoods that entertain them, and perpetrate many horrid crimes; but let not
private interests
obstruct
public utility.
Our
mother
knows what is best for us. What is a little
housebreaking, shoplifting,
or
highway robbing;
what is a
son
now and then
corrupted
and
hanged,
a daughter
debauched
and
poxed,
a wife
stabbed,
a husband’s
throat cut,
or a child’s
brains beat out
with an axe, compared with this improvement and well peopling of the colonies!

Thus it may perhaps be objected to my scheme, that the
rattle-snake
is a mischievous creature, and that his changing his nature with the clime is a mere supposition, not yet confirmed by sufficient facts. What then? Is not example more prevalent than precept? And may not the honest rough British gentry, by a familiarity with these reptiles, learn to
creep,
and to
insinuate,
and to
slaver,
and to
wriggle
into place (and perhaps to
poison
such as stand in their way) qualities of no small advantage to courtiers! In comparison of which
improvement
and
public utility,
what is a
child
now and then killed by their venomous bite, or even a favorite
lap-dog?

I would only add, that this exporting of felons to the colonies, may be considered as a
trade,
as well as in the light of a
favor.
Now all commerce implies
returns:
justice requires them: there can be no trade without them. And
rattle-snakes
seem the most
suitable returns
for the
human serpents
sent us by our
mother
country. In this, however, as in every other branch of trade, she will have the advantage of us. She will reap
equal
benefits without equal risk of the inconveniencies and dangers. For the
rattle-snake
gives warning before he attempts his mischief; which the convict does not.

I am Yours, &c.

Americanus