A Benjamin Franklin Reader (17 page)

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Authors: Walter Isaacson

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Poor Richard’s Wife Takes Her Turn

Richard and Bridget Saunders did, in many ways, reflect Benjamin and Deborah Franklin. In the almanac for 1738, Franklin had the fictional Bridget take a turn at writing the preface for Poor Richard. It came at the time when Franklin’s newspaper pieces were poking fun at the pretensions of wives who acquire a taste for fancy tea services. Bridget Saunders announced to the reader that she read the preface her husband had composed, discovered he had “been slinging some of his old skits at me,” and tossed it away. “Forsooth! all the world must know that Poor Dick’s wife has lately taken a fancy to drink a little tea now and then.” Lest the connection be missed, she noted that the tea was a present from “the printer.”

P
OOR
R
ICHARD

S
A
LMANAC FOR
1738

Preface by Mistress Saunders

Dear Readers,

My good man set out last week for Potowmack, to visit an old stargazer of his acquaintance, and see about a little place for us to settle and end our days on. He left the copy of his almanac sealed up, and bid me send it to the press. I suspected something, and therefore as soon as he was gone, I opened it, to see if he had not been flinging some of his old skits at me. Just as I thought, so it was. And truly, (for want of somewhat else to say, I suppose) he had put into his preface, that his wife Bridget was this, and that, and the other. What a peasecods! Cannot I have a little fault or two, but all the country must see it in print! They have already been told, at one time that I am proud, another time that I am loud, and that I have got a new petticoat, and abundance of such kind of stuff; and now, forsooth! All the world must know, that poor dick’s wife has lately taken a fancy to drink a little tea now and then. A mighty matter, truly, to make a song of! ’Tis true, I had a little tea of a present from the printer last year; and what, must a body throw it away? In short, I thought the preface was not worth a printing, and so I fairly scratched it all out, and I believe you’ll like our almanac never the worse for it.

Upon looking over the months, I see he has put in abundance of foul weather this year; and therefore I have scattered here and there, where I could find room, some
fair, pleasant, sunshiny, &c.
for the good-women to dry their clothes in. If it does not come to pass according to my desire, I have shown my good-will, however; and I hope they’ll take it in good part.

I had a design to make some other corrections; and particularly to change some of the verses that I don’t very well like; but I have just now unluckily broke my spectacles; which obliges me to give it you as it is, and conclude Your loving Friend,

Bridget Saunders

Poor Richard Defends
Astrology and Wit

Franklin loved poking fun at superstition, and writing as Poor Richard, a purported astrologer, he explained how the stars can be used to predict that it will rain sometime in April. He also defended his recipe for almanacs, which in the parlance of today’s magazines might be called high/low: some worthy wisdom about morality embedded in some idle chatter and humor. It’s a good formula for making money, he says, even if his printer Franklin, for whom he professes high regard, pockets most of it.

P
OOR
R
ICHARD

S
A
LMANAC FOR
1739

Kind Reader,

Encouraged by thy former generosity, I once more present thee with an almanac, which is the 7th of my publication. While thou art putting pence in my pocket, and furnishing my cottage with necessaries, Poor Dick is not unmindful to do something for thy benefit. The stars are watched as narrowly as old Bess watched her daughter, that thou mayst be acquainted with their motions, and told a tale of their influences and effects, which may do thee more good than a dream of last years snow.

Ignorant men wonder how we astrologers foretell the weather so exactly, unless we deal with the old black devil. Alas! ’Tis as easy as pissing abed. For instance; the stargazer peeps at the heavens thro a long glass: he sees perhaps Taurus or the great bull, in a mighty chase, stamping on the floor of his house, swinging his tail about, stretching out his neck, and opening wide his mouth. ’Tis natural from these appearances to judge that this furious bull is puffing, blowing, and roaring. Distance being considered, and time allowed for all this to come down, there you have wind and thunder. He spies perhaps Virgo (or the virgin); she turns her head round as it were to see if any body observed her; then crouching down gently, with her hands on her knees, she looks wistfully for a while right forward. He judges rightly what she’s about: and having calculated the distance and allowed time for its falling, finds that next spring we shall have a fine April shower. What can be more natural and easy than this? I might instance the like in many other particulars; but this may be sufficient to prevent our being taken for conjurors. O the wonderful knowledge to be found in the stars! Even the smallest things are written there, if you had but skill to read. When my brother J—m-n erected a scheme to know which was best for his sick horse, to sup a new-laid egg, or a little broth, he found that the stars plainly gave their verdict for broth, and the horse having supped his broth; now, what do you think became of that horse? You shall know in my next.

Besides the usual things expected in an almanac, I hope the professed teachers of mankind will excuse my scattering here and there some instructive hints in matters of morality and religion. And be not thou disturbed, o grave and sober reader, if among the many serious sentences in my book, thou findest me trifling now and then, and talking idly. In all the dishes I have hitherto cooked for thee, there is solid meat enough for thy money. There are scraps from the table of wisdom, that will if well digested, yield strong nourishment to thy mind. But squeamish stomachs cannot eat without pickles; which, ’tis true are good for nothing else, but they provoke an appetite. The vain youth that reads my almanac for the sake of an idle joke, will perhaps meet with a serious reflection, that he may ever after be the better for.

Some people observing the great yearly demand for my almanac, imagine I must by this time have become rich, and consequently ought to call myself
Poor Dick
no longer. But, the case is this, when I first begun to publish, the printer made a fair agreement with me for my copies, by virtue of which he runs away with the greatest part of the profit. However, much good may it do him; I do not grudge it him; he is a man I have a great regard for, and I wish his profit ten times greater than it is. For I am, dear reader, his, as well as thy Affectionate Friend,

R. Saunders

A Defense of Religious Tolerance

Franklin’s freethinking and unorthodox religious views, especially his belief that salvation was more likely to come by doing good works rather than merely through God’s grace alone, unnerved his family. In a letter to his parents in 1738, he provided an eloquent defense of the virtue of religious tolerance and a bit of humility about doctrine (including mixing up Matthew 26 with Matthew 25). These were among the great contributions he made to the American character. His views were echoed a few years later in letters he wrote to his sister Jane and then his brother John.

T
O
J
OSIAH AND
A
BIAH
F
RANKLIN
, A
PRIL
13, 1738

Honored Father and Mother,

I have your favor of the 21st of March in which you both seem concerned lest I have imbibed some erroneous opinions. Doubtless I have my share, and when the natural weakness and imperfection of human understanding is considered, with the unavoidable influences of education, custom, books and company, upon our ways of thinking, I imagine a man must have a good deal of vanity who believes, and a good deal of boldness who affirms, that all the doctrines he holds, are true; and all he rejects, are false. And perhaps the same may be justly said of every sect, church and society of men when they assume to themselves that infallibility which they deny to the popes and councils. I think opinions should be judged of by their influences and effects; and if a man holds none that tend to make him less virtuous or more vicious, it may be concluded he holds none that are dangerous; which I hope is the case with me. I am sorry you should have any uneasiness on my account, and if it were a thing possible for one to alter his opinions in order to please others, I know none whom I ought more willingly to oblige in that respect than your selves: but since it is no more in a man’s power
to think
than
to look
like another, methinks all that should be expected from me is to keep my mind open to conviction, to hear patiently and examine attentively whatever is offered me for that end; and if after all I continue in the same errors, I believe your usual charity will induce you rather to pity and excuse than blame me. In the mean time your care and concern for me is what I am very thankful for.

As to the freemasons, unless she will believe me when I assure her that they are in general a very harmless sort of people; and have no principles or practices that are inconsistent with religion or good manners, I know no way of giving my mother a better opinion of them than she seems to have at present, (since it is not allowed that women should be admitted into that secret society). She has, I must confess, on that account, some reason to be displeased with it; but for any thing else, I must entreat her to suspend her judgment till she is better informed, and in the mean time exercise her charity.

My mother grieves that one of her sons is an Arian, another an Armenian. What an Armenian or an Arian is, I cannot say that I very well know; the truth is, I make such distinctions very little my study; I think vital religion has always suffered, when orthodoxy is more regarded than virtue. And the scripture assures me, that at the last day, we shall not be examined what we
thought,
but what we did; and our recommendation will not be that we said
lord, lord,
but that we did good to our fellow creatures. See Matth. 26.

T
O
J
ANE
M
ECOM
, P
HILADELPHIA
, J
ULY
28, 1743

Dearest Sister Jenny,

I took your Admonition very kindly, and was far from being offended at you for it. If I say any thing about it to you, ’tis only to rectify some wrong opinions you seem to have entertained of me, and that I do only because they give you some uneasiness, which I am unwilling to be the occasion of. You express yourself as if you thought I was against worshipping of God, and believed Good Works would merit Heaven; which are both Fancies of your own, I think, without Foundation. I am so far from thinking that God is not to be worshipped, that I have composed and wrote a whole Book of Devotions for my own use: And I imagine there are few, if any, in the world, so weak as to imagine, that the little good we can do here, can
merit
so vast a reward hereafter. There are some Things in your New England doctrines and worship, which I do not agree with, but I do not therefore condemn them, or desire to shake your belief or practice of them. We may dislike things that are nevertheless right in themselves. I would only have you make me the same allowances, and have a better opinion both of morality and your brother. Read the Pages of Mr. Edwards’s late Book entitled
Some Thoughts Concerning The Present Revival Of Religion In New England
from 367 to 375; and when you judge of others, if you can perceive the fruit to be good, don’t terrify your self that the tree may be evil, but be assured it is not so; for you know who has said,
Men do not gather Grapes of Thorns or Figs of Thistles.
I have not time to add but that I shall always be,

Your affectionate Brother

P.S. It was not kind in you to imagine when your sister commended Good Works, she intended it a reproach to you. Twas very far from her thoughts.

T
O
J
OHN
F
RANKLIN
, P
HILADELPHIA
, M
AY
, 1745

…Our people are extremely impatient to hear of your success at Cape Breton. My shop is filled with thirty inquiries at the coming in of every post. Some wonder the place is not yet taken. I tell them I shall be glad to hear that news three months hence. Fortified towns are hard nuts to crack; and your teeth have not been accustomed to it. Taking strong places is a particular trade, which you have taken up without serving an apprenticeship to it. Armies and veterans need skilful engineers to direct them in their attack. Have you any? But some seem to think forts are as easy taken as snuff. Father Moody’s prayers look tolerably modest. You have a fast and prayer day for that purpose; in which I compute five hundred thousand petitions were offered up to the same effect in New England, which added to the petitions of every family morning and evening, multiplied by the number of days since January 25th, make forty-five millions of prayers; which, set against the prayers of a few priests in the garrison, to the Virgin Mary, give a vast balance in your favor.

If you do not succeed, I fear I shall have but an indifferent opinion of Presbyterian prayers in such cases, as long as I live. Indeed, in attacking strong towns I should have more dependence on
works,
than on
faith;
for, like the kingdom of heaven, they are to be taken by force and violence; and in a French garrison I suppose there are devils of that kind, that they are not to be cast out by prayers and fasting, unless it be by their own fasting for want of provisions. I believe there is Scripture in what I have wrote, but I cannot adorn the margin with quotations, having a bad memory, and no Concordance at hand; besides no more time than to subscribe myself, &c.

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