A Borrowed Life (Carly and Liam #1) (27 page)

“Hi. How are you?”

“Good. And you, how are you holding up?”

I answer with a simple nod.

“Ethan's gone?”

“Yeah, he was pretty upset.”

I roll my eyes. Granted, he has every right to be, but the sacrifices he made doesn’t give him the right to rule my life. He has to stop thinking that and understand that surviving is not living. Life isn't worth living if I can't do anything, and if I deprive myself from living my dreams and loving. Liam makes me feel more alive than ever.

I lie in my bed and close my eyes, letting my thoughts wander to happier memories. I can see myself on Liam's kitchen table, his head between my thighs. And in the spa aboard the cruise…the pool…the restaurant's bathroom… Suddenly, the feeling of hot wax sliding between my breasts makes me jolt. I open my eyes and sit up, but this terrifying idea doesn't leave my mind. What's behind that door? What's Liam hiding from me?

The melody of my cell phone suddenly pulls me out of my thoughts.

“Hello?” I answer.

“Carly, are you okay?” Liam worries on the phone.

“Yes.” I pull myself together, understanding that my voice is betraying me.

“Yes, I…I was resting.”

“Did you see the article?” he questions.

“I did.”

“Look, don't worry about that, okay. Everything will be fine and trust me when I say that in a few days it will be ancient history.”

“Yeah, I hope you're right.”

“I want to take you somewhere tonight, if you want.”

“Where?”

“You’ll see only if you say yes.”

His voice is playful, almost childlike. I smile. I love to hear him like that.

“Okay.” I can picture him smiling on the other end.

“I'll pick you up at eight. Is that okay with you?”

“Yes, I'll be ready.”

I hang up, curious to know where exactly he wants to take me. I suspect it's not into his secret room, but perhaps I’ll have the opportunity to ask him some questions about it. Unless he diverts the conversation again. I frown as I realize he does that every time. As soon as I try to learn more about hi
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his past, or his family, or if I get too close to a personal matte
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I find myself under him, completely naked, subject to his irresistible touch. Basically, I know nothing of this man, and this worries me even more.

I’m surprised when Liam parks his car in the parking garage of the One Beacon Court. I thought we were going out somewhere? I turn to Liam, who's behind the wheel. He gives me a mysterious smile.

“There is a place in my apartment I haven't showed you,” he announces.

I swallow. Am I really ready to see this place? My wish is finally coming true; I wanted to know and I needed to get to the bottom of this. So why am I unhappy about it? Why am I so worried?

Liam gets out of the car and immediately opens my door. I follow him, pretending not to know where he's taking me. We get into the elevator, but he doesn't press the button for the penthouse. I frown, puzzled. I thought he was going to show me his room? That’s the only place in the apartment that I haven’t seen, right?

We continue our ascent to the top of the building and the doors finally open. In front of us, a porch is illuminated with decorative lights, shining down on cushioned chairs matched with a wrought iron patio set. But it's the view strikes me first. From here, we see the entire city of New York; its lights are dazzling and I have never seen them this way.

I move forward on the ceramic tiles, then look behind me to discover that we are on the roof of the building. I’m stunned and Liam just looks at me, smiling. It's such a romantic spot, and I can hardly believe that a man like Liam can possess it.

“I knew you would like it,” he says as he approaches.

“It’s beautiful!”

He takes my hand and brings me closer to the edge. A stone parapet allows us to sit there while staying safe, but Liam sits on the other side, letting his feet dangle in the emptiness. He holds out his hand to me.

“Come!”

“What, on that side?”

“Come on, trust me.”

I breathe in, then put my hand in his. His fingers close tightly around my palm and I step over the parapet. My heart beats faster than I thought it could as I let my feet slip into the void. I can't breathe!

“If you were going to tell me not to look down, it's too late,” I tell Liam who laughs.

“Are you scared?”

“No, you?”

My feet aren't supported and I'm too conscious of the distance between me and the ground to not be terrified. My palms get sweaty and cold shivers run down my spine. I look up at Liam who takes in the scene in the distance before him.

“This is where I come when I want to think about things.”

“You need this adrenaline?” I mock.

“More of a dose of reality.”

“Huh?”

I watch him, intrigued.

“When I'm at my CEO post, I'm in charge; I control everything and everything depends on me, our success just as much as our failures. Many people are counting on me, and if I fail, many families would be left homeless. It's a lot of pressure, and I am able to take it off myself when I come up here.”

I'm astonished at the depth of feelings he expresses. He looks so comfortable in his role as a businessman, and he’s never let this vulnerable side show before. I can believe that it must be a heavy burden on his shoulders.

“Look,” he says. “How could you look at such a sight, and not feel so small? Here, I'm not the CEO of a large company, I'm just Liam. A man, first, who has no influence on the course of things and life. Here, I'm aware of what I can't change. I'm not king of the world, and all of my problems lose their importance.”

I turn to see what he sees. It's true how insignificant I feel standing before the city of New York like this. I'm an ant that follows its own path and the rest of the world doesn’t stop turning.

For the first time since I met him, I see a darker side of the man who seem so solid. I wish I could be there for him, that he would confide in me and tell me about his problems so I can support him. He doesn't have to go through this alone. Nobody should.

My feet dangle in the air, and I could fall at any moment; one wrong move, a strong breeze, or dizziness and it's over for me. I swallow.

“Do you come here often?” I ask.

“Not since I've met you.”

“Really?

“Do you feel it? Your heart beating, the adrenaline rushing though you, your breath quickening?”

“Yes, I feel it alright,” I reply staring at the void.

“This is the only feeling strong enough to overcome the pain of not having you by my side.”

I turn to him, completely taken by surprise by his statement.

“Are you kidding me?”

“When I can no longer think, when you occupy every inch of my mind and my body suffers from not being able to feel you against me, this is how I’m able to go on.”

I don’t know if it's romantic or twisted or completely nuts, but in reality, I know exactly what he means. The two weeks we spent apart when we came back from the cruise were the worst two weeks of my life. His absence was sorely felt throughout my body and my head no longer functioned normally. The only thing I wanted was to find him and give up everything to be with him, wherever he was in the world. I had no idea that his feelings for me were just as strong.

Slowly, my shivers subside, my fear vanishes, and I begin to breathe normally again. Liam's hand lands on my cold fingers, leaning on the stone parapet.

“Please tell me you’ve never had the urge to jump?”

He bursts out laughing.

“I'm not suicidal, Carly.”

I sigh, nodding. A smile appears on my face.

“I just wanted to make sure.”

“How do you feel?”

“I don't know, I…Better than I did at first, I think.”

I frown. Was this a test? Did he wanted to know how I would react and deal with the fear? To know how a rush of adrenaline would affect me? I sigh. This is stupid! But once again, his need for strong emotions could point to sexual trends I don’t dare imagine. Why do I have fewer and fewer doubts about his second nature that he refuses to admit to me?

“What's in that room, Liam?” I finally ask, straight to the point.

His expression darkens. He takes a few seconds to think.

“My past,” he finally answers.

“That's not an answer.”

“But it will have to be enough.”

With that, he moves his legs over the parapet to return to the veranda. He holds out his hands to help me back onto solid ground, pulling me into his arms.

“Do you want to dance?”

“There's no music.”

He takes his Android phone from his pocket and places it on the table. A sweet melody echoes through the speakers on the wall, and I assume they are connected to his phone. His hand grabs my palm and makes me spin under his arm which he then wraps around me lovingly. He guides my steps as his left hand presses against my back and his right hand close over mine.

“I love you, Carly,” he whispers after a few seconds, looking at me straight in the eye.

His tone is sincere, warm.

“I love you too, Liam.”

I nestle my cheek against his strong chest. His palm rises along my back in an intoxicating embrace that almost makes my body melt, and his fingers slide into my hair.

“I will never forget the evening I saw you at the Lexington's.”

I look back at that night with bitterness and I regret attending it, but Liam has no idea what really went down over there.

“You danced with Ethan,” he continues, revealing a nostalgic smile. “I didn't know he was your brother, and I was mad with jealousy. Seeing you in the arms of another man was unbearable, but seeing you laugh so heartily, being more natural with him than you ever were with me was worse than anything. That’s how I want you to be with me. I want it to be me who makes you so happy, me and nobody else. Call me selfish if you want to, but that's the effect you have on me.”

I would be like that with him if I could trust him. I want to know that he isn’t hiding anything from me, and that I can fall in love with him without fearing him breaking my heart.

“I'll try,” I promise him anyway.

We continue to dance in the dark, alone in the world, yet in the heart of one of the most populated cities of the country. The music stops, but we stay in each other’s arms. He presses his lips against my temple, and I feel his breath on my face as his heart beats against my chest.

“There is a benefit dinner in two days,” he announces. “I want you to come with me.”

I sigh quietly. After the dinner at the Lexington's and his brother's wedding, I think I’ve had my fair share of social events. It's not nearly as fun as it looks like in magazines. I really don't want to find myself in the newspapers again, knowing it will lead to another argument with Ethan.

“It’s for the organization I founded,” he says. “Every year, we organize an evening to raise funds to help develop countries in need.”

“Yes, Ava told me about that.”

“Oh. Did she, really?”

“I never imagined you as a philanthropist.”

“Why not?”

I shrug.

“You were very rude to a waiter aboard the cruise, and you seemed to despise the employees, like they didn't matter to you.”

He looks down, pursing his lips as if he regretted it.

“Yes, I can be an ass sometimes.”

I let out a giggle at this more than obvious fact.

“Yes, I agree with that.”

He gives me a look both insulted and amused.

“Are you laughing at me?”

I laugh. “Oh yes, absolutely!”

His fingers tighten on my arms as he pins me against his body.  He has a mischievous twinkle in his eyes when they plunge into mine, and he growls through his teeth. “You know I could make you regret your audacity!”

The threat in his tone doesn't intimidate me at all, but rather awakens a fierce instinct inside of me.