A Brit on the Side (Castle Calder Book 1) (20 page)

A
fter Harvey Nichols
, I treat myself to a Ninety-Nine from an ice cream van outside Harrods. The vanilla ice cream is creamy and cold, but it’s the chocolate Flake bar stuck in it that makes me close my eyes and sigh. Why don’t we have these in the U.S. again? Normally, I’d save my calories for the beer I’ll have with Theo this afternoon, but I’m feeling bold after my whole dress extravaganza. And maybe just a little bit smug. Maybe.

I skip Harrods and continue walking, past Hyde Park and through Green Park, both of which are filled with people picnicking, jogging, sunbathing. I stop and ogle Buckingham Palace, getting a Japanese lady to take my photo in front of the gates. It’s impressive and apparently the flag flying means the Queen is home, according to a tour I lurk on the edges of until they move on, and I continue towards London Bridge and my meet-up with Theo.

Like the parks, the mall – the road leading up to Buckingham Palace alongside St James Park – is packed with people. I could almost forget it’s Wednesday and this is a major city where people work, if not for the guys in dark suits who brush past impatiently as I make my way towards Westminster. By the time I reach Westminster Bridge, I’m back with the tourists. I get an Italian couple to take my picture with Big Ben and snap a few shots of the Houses of Parliament.

As I cross the bridge, I feel a thrill seeing the London Eye, and not only because it’s impressive, but because I know where I am. I’ve got forty-five minutes until I meet Theo at the bar at Oxo Tower, but I set off in that direction now. I’m tired, hungry, and I want to sit down. I have a feeling once I do, I won’t want to get up for a while.

When I get to Oxo Tower, I’m glad I’ve come early. Like everywhere else, the place is heaving with people and I have to put my name on a waiting list for a table for two. The harried hostess assures me it won’t be long, however the table I get is likely to be inside because it’s such a beautiful day. She doesn’t wait for me to respond before she’s taking down another person’s name for her never ending list.

Fifteen minutes later, I’m seated at a table by the window. It’s inside, but the view over the Thames is still gorgeous with St Paul’s Cathedral in the background. If I remember correctly, someone in the Royal Family was married there, but I can’t remember who. I’m searching for free Wi-Fi when a shadow falls across my phone and I hear a throat clearing. “Hey, Bea.”

I look up at Theo standing above me and shove my chair back to stand. We share an awkward hug and then I say, “Hey. It’s great to see you. Have a seat.”

Theo pulls out his chair and I let myself inspect him. He’s wearing his University of North Carolina T-shirt and a pair of board shorts. It’s a typical Theo uniform, but combined with his super short blond hair and the triathlon watch on his thick wrist, it strikes me immediately how American he looks. It’s a weird thought, especially since it’s not something I would have ever thought before.

I’m still feeling a little confused by this when Theo says, “You look great. England must agree with you.”

“It’s been interesting, that’s for sure.” I smile and give my head a quick shake like it will help get me back on track. “So, what are you doing here anyway? Your Instagram post said you were with a youth group or something?”

Theo shifts in his chair. I know him well enough to recognize when he’s uncomfortable, but I don’t know why. “Yeah, um, I’m a chaperone with the Peachtree Players. They come every summer to do the whole Shakespeare at the Globe thing.”

I laugh. “Shakespeare? You? Okay, what’s her name?”

Theo opens his mouth to answer as the waitress comes over to give us drink menus. We glance at the menus and order two lagers, and I add on mushrooms on toast before turning my attention back to Theo.

He spends a good minute looking around the restaurant before his eyes meet mine. He says, “Ava. Her name is Ava.”

I half expect to feel a punch to the gut, but I don’t. I do feel something, though. A trickle of relief. “Wow. How did you meet her?”

“She goes to my gym. I started spotting her one day while she was doing free weights and we kind of hit it off. We had a couple mango tangos in the juice bar and then moved on to dinner.” Theo shrugs and smiles a little. “She’s cool. We have a lot in common.”

“That’s great. I’m really happy for you.” The trickle of relief morphs into a waterfall as I speak.

Theo closes his eyes and leans his head back. When he looks at me again, his whole posture changes. He leans forward, elbows on the table, the corner of his mouth tilted up. “Thank God. I was worried when you said you wanted to meet you wanted to get back together or something. I saw your mom in Kroger one day and she kind of made it sound like you --”

“Stop. Please don’t finish that sentence or I’ll die of embarrassment.” I close my eyes. “Plus, it’s my mother we’re talking about. You know how much she adores you.”

“I like your mom.” Theo grins. “She doesn’t mean any harm.”

“You’ve never had one of her breakfast smoothies.” I shake my head. “So, tell me more about this Ava person.”

Over half a beer and two bites of my mushrooms on toast, Theo talks about Ava. She’s a drama teacher at a community college, super involved in the youth group, and a total gym rat. She likes baking and Italian cooking, and apparently her chocolate cannoli is award winning.

“Chocolate cannoli doesn’t sound like you,” I say, swallowing a bite of creamy mushrooms. “Has she brought you over to the dark side?”

“She said I could take my food rules and shove them up my ass.” I’m pretty sure Theo actually blushes when he says this.

“And you like her enough to actually do it?”

“Yeah.” He shrugs, then gestures to my plate. “Plus, maybe I’m too severe, you know? I mean, whatever you’re having wouldn’t be something I would eat, but it obviously hasn’t done you any harm.”

“Harm as in…?” I’m pretty sure I’m fishing for a compliment now, but I’ve earned it for being the amicable ex.

Theo waves his hand in my direction. “Look at you. You look great. For real.”

“I’ve been eating a lot this summer.” I hear my half apologetic tone as I speak and work to make it more sure as I continue. “I’ve been working in the kitchen, learning to cook. Lou, the woman in charge, has been really encouraging and I’ve started to actually like it.”

“That’s great. Maybe you’ve got a second career option on your hands?”

“I still have a lot to learn, so probably not. But it’s been good, you know?” I take another bite of mushrooms with bread and wait for Theo to fill the gap.

He doesn’t and as I watch him fiddle with the coaster on the table I realize it’s because he has nothing to say. But I’m no better. My mind is blank. We could talk about school, but that would feel like an obvious filler. I don’t want to tell him about Scarlett since their disdain was mutual, and I’m sure as hell not going to tell him about Jasper. It’s a weird feeling having nothing to say to Theo, but I also realize I’m not surprised.

When I speak, my voice is low. “What did we talk about? Before?”

“I don’t know.” He shakes his head. “Maybe that’s why we broke up.”

“I think we broke up because we needed different things.” I quickly add, “At least I did.”

“I did, too.” Theo’s smart enough not to list out what he thinks those things are. “When you ended it, I knew it was the right thing, even though it made me feel like shit.”

“Kind of like kale. Just because you know something’s good for you, doesn’t mean you have to like it.” I grin.

Theo’s laugh is loud. “Don’t you be dissing my kale. You know how I feel about that.”

Do I ever. I roll my eyes and laugh. “Yeah, yeah. I hope Ava likes kale.”

“She does, in fact.” Theo drains his beer and puts his hands on his knees. A telltale got-to-go sign. “Speaking of…”

“You have some Shakespeare to get to and I want to get my culture fix before I get out of here. I’m going to hit some free museums.” I put my napkin on the table. “Let me get your beer. You can owe me one sometime”

“You don’t need to do that.”

“I know, but I want to.” Theo stands up and so do I. I reach out and put my hand on his arm. “Thank you for meeting me. I needed that. I know it sounds weird, but it’s true.”

“It was great. I’m glad we did this.” Theo puts an arm around my shoulders and draws me in for a hug. I let myself lean against his chest for a second before pulling gently away and reaching up to kiss his cheek.

“Enjoy the rest of your time in London,” I say.

“You too. See you in a couple weeks.” Theo squeezes my arm one more time and turns to leave.

My eyes follow him on his route to the door, but stop midway. There at a table on the patio, in full view, is Scarlett. A dark-haired man in a charcoal gray suit sits across from her and he’s gesturing to a sheath of papers on the table, but he could be setting them on fire for how oblivious she is.

Her eyes are trained solely on me. And if looks could kill, I’d be dead.

B
y the time
I meet Scarlett and Claire at Euston station on Thursday morning, I’ve walked seventeen miles according to the health app on my phone. My feet hurt, my legs are heavy, and my heart is in my throat as I scan the station. I don’t know what to expect when I see Scarlett, but I’m not anticipating anything good.

I check the giant timetable and see our train listed. It’s on time. Now I have to find Scarlett with my ticket. After shelling out for a hotel room, I don’t want to pay for another train ticket too.

I stand on my tiptoes and I swear I see the top of Scarlett’s head over by the Costa Coffee. Sure enough, when I drag my suitcase over there, it’s her laughing with Claire. Her smile fades as she catches sight of me.

Crap.

I walk slowly over to join them and flash a perfunctory smile. “Hey. How was London?”

Claire nods. “It was good. I’m so sorry we didn’t meet up with you. I feel terrible about this whole trip.”

“You shouldn’t.” I mentally pat myself on the back for the emphasis on the shouldn’t part of my statement. “I actually had a nice time.”

“You looked like you were enjoying yourself when I saw you,” Scarlett says, biting her lip.

I’ve thought a lot about the best way to handle this. Letting Scarlett back me into a corner is not one of them. “You were with Mr. Waring-Smith, I presume? How did it go?”

“Really well. He’s keen, so we’ll see. He’s supposed to get me a contract today and we’ll go from there.”

“Wow, that’s fantastic. What does he want you to do?” I ask.

“He’s opening a London office and wants me to work with the designers on motifs to complement the interior space,” Scarlett says.

“It sounds amazing and it’s great exposure,” Claire gushes. “I mean, you don’t have to like the guy to work with him.”

“But it would help. I think the reason he’s offering such a great package is because he knows he’s bloody hard to work with.” Scarlett glances at her watch. “Our train is probably here. We should go.”

Any conversation we’d have about Mr. Bradley Waring-Smith, Theo, or anything else is put on hold while we navigate through Euston Station. Again, the crowds are everywhere, but this time with luggage. By the time we sink down in our seats, I’m hot and frazzled.

“Oh my God. I think I’ve forgotten how to live in a city,” I say. “London is amazing, but I can’t wait to get out of here.”

Claire laughs. “It’s the height of tourist season, too, so it’s worse than normal. When I come over to meet Hannah in February, it’s dead.”

“Well, if this whole project goes through, I’ll need to be in London every other week, apparently,” Scarlett says.

“Every other week?” I furrow my brow. “How would that work?”

“I don’t know. It will be part of the negotiations. I’m not willing to even consider it until I see an initial contract,” Scarlett says. Then she turns to me. “But enough about that. It’s already giving me a huge headache, which honestly is reason enough for me to bail. Tell me about your little lunch yesterday. Or better yet, tell me what you’re going to tell Jaz about your little lunch.”

Judging by the look on Claire’s face, Scarlett already told her I met up with Theo and she’s about as impressed as Scarlett is. I sigh and close my eyes, but only to hide the way my heart leaps. Here goes nothing. “What I tell Jasper about Theo and me is none of your business.” I open my eyes. “In fact, whatever I say about my trip to London really isn’t your concern, considering you weren’t a part of it.”

Scarlett tilts her head like she heard me wrong. “As I recall, you made that choice, not me.”

I shrug and hope to God I look as cool and unaffected as I sound. “I think we’re going to have to agree to disagree on that.”

“Well, I disagree your involvement with Jaz isn’t my concern,” Scarlett says. “Let’s start with the fact you deliberately kept your relationship from me. It is a relationship, isn’t it?”

“It is and I’m sorry. I should never have done that,” I start. I think about adding that I tried to tell her the other night in the hotel bar, but I know I didn’t. Not really.

“You knew Jasper and I had a difficult relationship and you knew why, yet you ignored that completely.” Scarlett leans across the table separating us. “You’re my best friend.”

“I’m not sure I am. Not in the way I’m supposed to be, anyway.” This was my decision after I saw Scarlett at Oxo Tower yesterday – total transparency. But gah, it was a lot easier to imagine than it is to do. I take a deep breath. “Jasper and I hooked up when he came to Atlanta a couple years ago. That weekend you went away, one thing led to another and we spent the weekend together. Then he went back to Cambridge and that was the end of it. Except it wasn’t.”

“For fuck’s sake, this has been going on all summer?” Scarlett’s loud enough the people two rows ahead of us turn around.

“No. It’s been complicated. I wanted to pick up where we left off, but Jasper wouldn’t. For a long time, nothing happened, but then it did.” It’s the most basic way I can describe it, but I doubt Scarlett wants the dirty details.

“Was this before or after I told you about Sam?” Scarlett’s voice is low now, caught between a sneer and a hiss.

“After.” I hear her sharp intake of breath but talk through it. “When you told me about what happened between them, Jasper and I weren’t speaking. I know it doesn’t change the fact I didn’t tell you when that changed, but I also know I’m not Sam and to hold me to this unspoken promise that I won’t go near your brother because of something that happened to someone else isn’t fair.”

“Wow, and now you sound like him. Did Jaz give you that line?”

“Of course not. Until you saw us together Tuesday morning, we never talked about you. At least not in terms of our relationship.” I realized this last night walking around Covent Garden. For how much Scarlett has fixated on Jasper, he’s barely mentioned her.

Scarlett looks surprised by this, but she recovers quickly. “And now you have a relationship. What do you think my brother would say about you having lunch with your ex? Surely you’ll tell him, since that’s what people in relationships do?”

Claire, whose face has been so expressionless I wonder if she’s even listening, leans in. I glance between her and Scarlett as I answer. “I don’t know what he’ll say, but it’s not a secret. I’m going to tell him.” I can’t resist the chance for a dig. “It was good to see Theo. Besides the tourists I asked to take my picture, I didn’t have much opportunity for conversation the past couple of days.”

Claire winces like I pinched her. “Bea, I’m so sorry.”

I cut her off. “I don’t blame you.” I make myself look at Scarlett. “And I don’t blame you. Anymore. You can bet I sure as hell blamed you at first.”

“Of course --” Scarlett starts, her tone hard.

“But it was good for me. Being by myself in a big city is something I’ve never done before, but I was fine. Better than fine. As for seeing Theo, that was fine, too. He’s dating someone new and…” I shrug. “It’s fine.”

“So everything’s fine. Good on you,” Scarlett says. She raises a hand as if she’s holding a glass. “To Bea, who’s managed to put her life back on track and only derailed one friend in the process.”

For the first time since we’ve been talking, I falter. I feel my eyes prick and my face get hot. When I speak, my voice sounds watery, even though my eyes stay dry. “It doesn’t have to be that way, Scarlett. You’re making this into an either-or scenario, but it’s not.”

When she looks at me, her expression is flat. “Maybe not. But right now, that’s what it feels like.”

The problem is, it feels like that to me too. And I know who I’ll choose if forced – the person who’s not making me pick a side.

We don’t exchange another word for the rest of the train journey.