A Christmas Knight (12 page)

‘Was it?' she asked.

‘Probably not,' he admitted, ‘but I don't know if I'll ever be able to get the doubt out of my head. Or the guilt.'

‘And it stopped you having a relationship with anyone.'

‘Before the accident, I was too busy playing and enjoying life to settle down. Afterwards…I blamed myself for what happened and I didn't feel I deserved a relationship,' he said. ‘Until you. You reached me in the way nobody else could. And when you asked me to stay over that night—it was like my birthday and Christmas and every red-letter day rolled into one. I wanted you just as much as you wanted me.' He paused. ‘As far as I'm concerned, nothing's changed. I still want you. But I know you've been worried sick about Ty and I didn't want to push you and make you feel that you had to split yourself between us. That's the only reason I've been holding back. Not because I changed my mind.'

‘You've been very patient. Thank you.' She bit her lip. ‘But I don't know where we go from here.'

‘Let me make it easier for you. We'll start with a question and I want a one-word answer. Do you like me—yes or no?'

‘Yes,' she whispered.

‘I like you, too. I want to see you, and I think you want to see me—but you're scared that it's all going to go wrong. That you're going to get hurt. That Ty's going to get hurt.'

She nodded.

‘I don't have any cast-iron guarantees,' he said softly. ‘But I would never intentionally hurt you or Tyler. So that's a start. And it feels like years since I held you—and I miss you. Louisa, please?'

Just when he thought she was going to refuse, she scraped her chair back and walked round to his side of the table. He pushed his chair back, scooped her onto his lap and held her close, resting his forehead on her shoulder so he could breathe in her scent. ‘Louisa. I've missed this so much.'

‘I've missed it, too,' she said shakily.

He lifted his head, then looked her straight in the eye. He could see longing mixed with fear and confusion. He didn't know how to take the fear away. Or the confusion. But the longing—he could do something about that.

Slowly, gently, he touched his lips to hers. A gentle, sweet, reassuring kiss.

But once wasn't enough.

And then she was kissing him back and it was as if someone had lit touchpaper. Her hands were in his hair, his mouth was jammed over hers, and somehow his hands had slid under the hem of her top and his palms were flat against her soft, soft skin. He could feel the peaks of her
nipples against his chest, and he knew that, sitting on his lap, she'd be just as aware of his own arousal.

When he broke the kiss, they were both shaking.

‘I'm sorry,' he said. ‘I didn't mean to come on so strong. I…' No. If he told her exactly how he felt, he knew he'd scare her away. He had to be patient for just a little longer. Take it slowly. ‘I'm sorry,' he repeated.

‘It wasn't just you,' she admitted.

Hope flared. ‘So this thing between us—we're still seeing where it takes us?'

‘As long as Tyler comes first.'

He brushed a kiss against her mouth. ‘Of course he will. And I'll try to be patient. We'll wait until he gets back on his feet before we take it further between us.' There was something else he wanted to ask her, but not yet. They needed a little time. Time for her to trust her instincts again and let him as close as he'd been before the accident. ‘I'd better go now. While my good intentions still have control of me.' He moistened suddenly dry lips with the tip of his tongue. ‘I want you. Very, very badly. And I think we both know it could happen right here, right now.'

Her eyes were huge. ‘Yes.'

‘But it's not going to. The first time between us—I want it to be special. When Tyler's staying overnight with his grandparents and neither of us is going to be worrying about him. When we have the time and space to focus on each other, just for a little while.' He stroked her face. ‘I want it to be something we both remember. For the rest of our days.'

O
VER
the next couple of weeks, Tyler's condition improved and the headaches stopped, to the point where Louisa was happy for him to go back to school. And although she and Dominic were officially ‘just good friends' at work and at the stables, in private they drew closer. Dominic ate with her and Tyler every night, dropping in to see them between the end of his shift and going to the stables. Tyler learned not to time him exactly, because Dominic had explained to him that the time he arrived depended on his patient; but he always rang to say he was leaving the hospital, so Louisa didn't have to guess what time to serve dinner. And she was aware of how much her son looked forward to seeing Dominic in the evenings, talking about his day and playing chess and showing him his artwork. He never stopped talking about Dominic. And she'd noticed that Tyler greeted him with the same kind of hug he reserved for her and his grandparents, and that Dominic was just as affectionate back.

Dominic also called in on his way home from the stables, for a snatched half-hour of quiet time together when Tyler was asleep. Time when they lay full length on the sofa, wrapped in each other's arms, sometimes just relaxing in each other's nearness without needing to talk, and at other times talking about their hopes and dreams. He
was the first person she'd actually told that she wanted to be nursing director some day; and he'd been incredibly supportive.

‘You'd make a really good job of it. Though I think you'd have to change the role so you get some hands-on time with patients. If you were stuck doing nothing but admin, you'd miss the practical side too much.' He stroked her face. ‘Though you'd also get to do more teaching, and I think that'd be right up your street. And you'd be really good on the PR side.'

She felt herself go pink with pleasure. ‘You really think so?'

‘Really. You're fantastic with people.' He kissed her lightly. ‘You're an amazing woman, Louisa Austin. And I'm proud of you.'

She'd always thought that Jack had resented her work; then again, maybe Dominic understood it more because he worked in the same area, faced the same challenges. ‘Thank you,' she said softly.

‘You're welcome.' He stole another kiss. ‘There was something else I wanted to talk to you about. Ty's desperate to go back to his riding lessons.'

She shook her head. ‘He's not ready yet.'

He raised an eyebrow. ‘You mean,
you're
not ready.'

‘Same thing.'

‘No, it isn't. Yes, he'll probably fall off again at some point, but he learned a pretty hard lesson about double-checking your equipment. He'll never make that mistake again. Next time he comes off, he might just have a bruise, or a dent in his dignity.'

‘Or a broken arm.'

‘At this age, they heal quickly. And he's just as likely to get a broken arm falling over in the playground at school,'
Dominic pointed out. ‘Think how many kids his age come in to our department and end up with a backslab.'

‘I'm not ready for him to go back to riding yet, Dominic.'

‘Life isn't perfect and sometimes you get knocked back, but you have to get up, dust yourself down and try again.' He held her closer. ‘And the thing is, he'll know that if he does fall off again, you'll be there, you'll kiss it better, and you'll help him get back on the horse again. Just as you will when he encounters other difficulties in life.'

She looked at him. ‘It's not as if you went straight back to jousting after Oliver's accident.'

‘That was because my head wasn't in the right place.' He sighed. ‘OK, so I'm being a hypocrite.'

‘And pushy.'

He refused to let her wriggle out of his arms. ‘OK. But it's the Christmas party at the stables, the third Saturday in December. He'd get a huge amount from it. And it'll help him bond with the other kids.'

‘You're trying to pressure me.'

‘No, honey. I'm trying to help you. Yes, I admit, there is a teensy bit of riding involved—but it's all very strictly supervised, and every single rider has an assistant. They look so cute, Louisa. The kids all wear reindeer antlers on their hard hats. It's all done indoors, so there's no worry about the weather. Then, when they've had a short ride, Bea puts music on and everyone has a bit of a dance or sings along, whatever they want to do. The less mobile kids can have their faces painted if they want—then it's food, a visit from Santa, and home. They each get a present from the pony they ride—and it's just lovely.' He paused. ‘Ty would really enjoy it. And so would you. And your parents would love watching him.'

‘I'll think about it,' Louisa said.

He stole a kiss. ‘OK. That's all I'll ask. And I won't push any more.'

‘Thank you.'

‘I did have another question for you.'

‘Involving the stables?'

‘No, but it involves you and Ty.' This was the biggie. The equivalent of asking her to go public. Would she say yes or no? ‘My brother's getting married. And, um, I wondered if you'd both like to come to the wedding as my guests.'

She was silent for so long that he knew what the answer was. ‘OK. Sorry for pushing. Though I could reassure you that there won't be any horses involved.'

‘It's not that.' Her eyes brimmed with tears. ‘It's the fact you asked Ty as well.'

‘Why wouldn't I?'

‘You know how direct he is. He might say the wrong thing and upset someone.'

He kissed her lightly. ‘He'll be much too busy having a good time with my parents' dogs. Though I admit that'll probably mean he'll step up the nagging for a puppy afterwards.'

She frowned. ‘Your parents' dogs would be at the wedding?'

‘Well, not at the wedding itself.' He smiled. ‘But they'll be around.'

‘He'd love that.' She bit her lip. ‘But I think I'd better say no. He finds a big group of people he doesn't know a bit difficult to handle. We'd probably end up leaving early and that'd put you in an awkward position.'

Dominic really didn't want to make Ty feel uncomfortable; but he had a feeling that Louisa was using her son as an excuse. Meeting his family would mean going public about their relationship, and she clearly still wasn't ready even to consider it.

He'd just have to be patient for a bit longer.

‘OK.' He kissed her lightly. ‘I'd better let you get some sleep. See you at work.'

 

But Louisa couldn't sleep that night.

Dominic had asked her to his brother's wedding. Something that would be incredibly emotional for him; he hadn't said as much, but she had the feeling that he could do with someone to lean on. Someone to help him keep the regrets and the guilt at bay.

And he'd let her lean on him. Big time. He'd pushed a little—especially where Tyler and the stables were concerned—but, when she'd said no, he hadn't shouted her down. He'd let her know his opinion, but he'd appreciated the fact that she wanted to make her own decisions.

Time, she thought, for payback. To give him a little support, the way he'd been there for her throughout Tyler's injury and his convalescence.

She called her mother the next morning, before work, to ask a favour; and, although she fully intended to find Dominic before her shift started, she discovered that he was already in Resus, dealing with a patient with a heart attack. And she was kept busy in Minors with people who'd slipped on the ice and twisted their ankles, and then a chef with a nasty burn that needed a dressing; she sent him away with notes on what to do next and a follow-up appointment to check how well it was healing. Then she was kept busy with a builder who'd slipped from some scaffolding and his ankle was swollen and painful. She took a full medical history and asked exactly what had happened when he'd fallen, so she had a better idea of how he'd landed and whether it was likely to be a bone injury or soft tissue. Although she had a feeling it was more likely to be a sprain, she sent him for an X-ray to make absolutely sure it wasn't a fracture,
and checked over a teenager with a piercing that had gone septic while she was waiting for the X-ray results to come back.

A quick check on-screen showed her that there wasn't a fracture.

‘That's a relief,' he said, blowing out a breath. ‘I couldn't afford to be off work for weeks now, not with Christmas coming up at a rate of knots!'

‘You do need to rest it for the next two days, though,' she warned him. ‘The best thing you can do is prop it on a pillow so it's level with your heart, and keep it up as much as possible until the swelling goes down. If you put ice packs on—wrap in a towel so it doesn't burn your skin—that will also help with the swelling and bruising. Painkillers should take the edge off it. After a couple of days you can start to use it again, but by that I mean
gentle
exercise, to ease yourself back in. No marathons, and definitely no more using the scaffolding as a slide, OK?'

He gave a rueful laugh. ‘I'll remember that!'

‘I'm going to put a tubular elastic bandage on your ankle to give it support and compression, though you need to take it off before bed.' She smiled at him as she fitted the bandage. ‘I know I've just rattled on at you and it's going to be hard to remember everything I said, so I'll give you a leaflet.' She quickly found the information leaflet on the computer, then printed it off.

‘It's all on computer now?'

‘It makes life a lot easier than finding fiddly bits of paper,' she said. ‘Mind you, we always know where the sprains leaflet is. We see a lot of them in here—people who've landed awkwardly in sports, or slipped on the stairs or off a kerb. And don't start me on the evils of high heels!'

He laughed, ‘'Fraid I only do lace-up boots or trainers, love.'

‘They'll be good support for you.' She saw him out, updated the notes and called her next patient.

How ironic that, on the day she really wanted to talk to Dominic, she didn't get a chance to have a break. She was kept busy in Minors for the rest of the day. Her last patient was a teenager who looked very sheepish and had a long, curly piece of wire sticking out of his thumb.

‘I don't know if I dare ask,' she said.

‘I was a bit bored in the first lesson after lunch,' he muttered. ‘It's the spring from my pen. I wondered what would happen if I uncoiled it. I didn't know the end was going to be sharp.'

His mother ruffled his hair. ‘You know now, love.' She rolled her eyes. ‘I got a call from the school telling me he had a six-inch piece of metal sticking out of his hand, so could I please come and pick him up and I was having kittens that he'd hurt himself in metalwork! I did think about pulling it out myself, but Rob wouldn't let me. School said it was curved at the end and I should bring him here.'

‘I'm such an idiot,' Rob muttered, his face turning beetroot.

‘No, love, you're a teenager,' his mum said, patting his arm. ‘It isn't the first time you've done something daft and it won't be the last—and your brother's the same. I'm just glad it's not a thick bit of steel stuck through your palm.'

‘Does it hurt?' Louisa asked.

‘A bit,' Rob admitted. ‘Are you going to cut it out?'

‘I'll send you down to X-Ray, and then we'll see what's there and know the best way to deal with it. Don't worry,' Louisa reassured him.

The X-ray showed that the wire was curved in slightly but wasn't too deep, so it wouldn't have to be cut out. ‘I'll just snip most of it off with wire cutters,' Louisa said, ‘to
get it out of the way, and then I'll use forceps to take it out. It might sting a bit, but I'll be as gentle as I can.'

On the way to fetch the department's wire cutters, she bumped into Dominic. ‘Hi. Busy day?'

‘You're telling me.' He rolled his eyes. ‘Why the wire cutters?'

‘I have a teenager with a spring stuck in his hand; I need to cut most of it off to get it out of the way so that I can remove it properly.'

‘Do you want me to do it? I know you're perfectly capable of doing it, but I'm a bit brawnier than you are—if the wire's thick, I can cut it more quickly than you can and that'll be less stressful for your patient.'

Typical Dominic, putting someone else first. ‘Thank you. I appreciate that.' She took him through to Minors and introduced him to Rob and his mother. Dominic wielded the wire-cutters; the spring proved to be tough, and Rob gave a muttered ‘Ow!'

‘Sorry, Rob,' Dominic said as the spring came out.

‘'S OK,' Rob said. ‘It's out now.'

Louisa checked the spring against the X-ray. ‘Out cleanly, so you should be fine—your thumb might be a bit sore for a day or two, but you don't have to worry about infection. Let me clean that for you with a bit of antiseptic.'

Dominic chatted to Rob, keeping his mind off the fact that his thumb was stinging as Louisa cleaned the area with antiseptic. He was so kind, so caring, she thought. He had so much to give. And it was time she stopped keeping him at arm's length.

When Rob and his mother left, Louisa put her hand on Dominic's arm. ‘Can I have a quick word?'

He looked slightly wary. ‘Sure.'

‘Last night…I was a bit hasty.' She took a deep breath. ‘I still don't think Ty would cope too well with a wedding,
but I asked Mum and Dad if they'd have him for the day. So, if the offer's still open—yes, please, I'd love to go to the wedding with you.'

Dominic sucked in a breath. ‘As my friend, or as my colleague?'

‘Not as your colleague,' she said. ‘Or as your “good friend”.' If he was going to introduce her to his family, then they'd do it properly. ‘I was thinking as your girlfriend.' She wrinkled her nose. ‘Well, I'm probably a bit too old to be called a girlfriend. Partner, then.'