A Cold Season (33 page)
Authors: Alison Littlewood
Cass shook herself, sat up straighter; smiled when Pete glanced at her, his eyes so hurt and so stupid.
She could fight Remick. This child was a gift, something to bargain with, to buy back her soul, if she could. Remick would come to find Cass, only to discover Gloria waiting for him.
Weariness overcame her.
A child is not a bargaining tool
, she thought.
A father is not a sacrifice. And you can only ever offer yourself.
She belonged to him. She knew it now, could feel it rising within her, and knew she could never go back. Her body still craved him, would never respond as it once had to the stranger who sat beside her.
Remick had asked Pete if he could trust Cass to take care of her son. And he could, just not in the way he thought, or that Cass’ father had before him. No one could be looked after for ever; there would come a time when everyone had to make their own choice.
Cass would just have to help Ben to make the right one, to make sure that he was ready when the head of the family came home. Because he would come home, one day.
And they would be together.
In the meantime there was his gift. Cass smoothed a hand over her stomach, as though she could already feel it stretching and changing to accommodate the one
within; her skin growing round and pale like a smooth, unblemished egg.
Cass rested her head back, smiled, and with one hand still on the warmth of her belly, turned her head and watched the moorland slip by.
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
Heartfelt thanks to Jo Fletcher, to Nicola Budd and the whole team at Jo Fletcher Books and Quercus, for making this book a reality.
Also, special thanks to the team at
Black Static
magazine: Andy Cox, Peter Tennant, and Roy Gray – for making the introduction to Jo.
I would also like to thank everyone who has helped me along the way, by publishing my short stories or otherwise encouraging me onward (with apologies to anyone I’ve left out!) – in particular David McWilliam and Glyn Morgan of Twisted Tales Events, Simon Marshall-Jones of Spectral Press, Michael Kelly, Claire Massey, Stephen Theaker, Allyson Bird, Joel Lane, Marie O’Regan, Paul Kane, Simon Bestwick, Gary McMahon, Stephen Volk, Rob Shearman, Ellen Datlow, Steve Upham, David Tallerman, John Benson, Stephen Clark, Sharon Ring, Gary Fry, Graham Joyce and Stephen Firth. Thanks also to web guru Wayne McManus.
Last but not least, I would like to thank my Mum, Dad, Ian, and of course Fergus – for everything.
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