A Complicated Love (Complicated Love #1) (12 page)

I feel like I’m floating. I feel weightless and free in this bubble I’ve created. All around me, I see bright, white light.

Am I dead? I don’t think so.

The white light is calming and I feel so rested here. I don’t know where here is, but I like it. I’m not sure why, but I’m afraid to go back. Back to my life… I think.

I hear a beeping noise, just beeping, beeping, beeping and it’s getting incredibly loud. As the beeping gets louder, the bright white light is getting brighter and brighter and it’s beginning to hurt my eyes. I don’t understand how I know, but I do that I am waking up.

I feel this deep ache in me, telling me that I can’t wake up. That I shouldn’t wake up. That I need to be strong for whatever awaits me.

The bright light gets unbearable for my eyes… I wake up.

I open my eyes and I’m unsure of where I am. Everything in the room is white and the light above my eyes is shining really brightly and beginning to hurt my eyes. I blink a few times to try and clear my blurry eyes. I turn my head to the left and see a machine. The wires seem to run down into my arm, and I’m not quite sure what’s going on. I turn my head to the right and Joshua is sitting on a chair by the side of my bed. He’s clutching my hand tightly with his head resting on the bed. He’s asleep and looks like hell. I gently squeeze his hand. He jerks up suddenly and his eyes widen when he sees me looking at him.

“Oh God, Annabelle, you’re awake. Are you okay? Are you feeling okay?” He leans over the railing of the bed and I can see the concern in his eyes.

“Water… please,” I croak. Joshua releases my hand and makes his way over to a trolley near the wall. He pours me a glass of water and places a straw in it for me.

“Gently sip it, beautiful.” He smiles and brings the straw to my mouth. I take a little sip, not wanting to drink too much too soon.

“What happened?” I look around and I know I’m in a hospital, but I’m not sure what happened to me.

“You had an accident when you went to Sienna’s with Tracy. You slipped down the stairs. You don’t remember?”

I shake my head and try to remember, but I can’t. I remember being at the club with Tracy, but I don’t remember much about that night.

“How long have I been here?”

“Not long really, just from last night when they brought you in.” I see it’s dark outside so it must be evening, but I’m not sure of the time. I hear the door open and a dark-haired doctor walks in.

“Ah, Miss Connor, you’re awake. How are you feeling?” He smiles, but the smile doesn’t quite reach his eyes.

“I’m okay, I guess. Just a little sore and a bit stiff.”

“Well, you do have some heavy bruising which will eventually clear up, but you need to get plenty of rest when we discharge you.”

“And the baby? It’s okay? Joshua says I fell down some stairs.” The doctor looks over at Joshua and I know they’re having a silent conversation. I don’t like this.
What’s going on?

“My baby is okay… right?” I looking between the two of them and my heart literally stops. I can’t breathe properly. I try to take in steady breaths, but I can’t. My head is getting cloudy and I’m scared of what I will hear next. Joshua takes my hand again, and I see a tear slowly glide down his cheek.

“Annabelle, baby.” He tries to smile but fails miserably. “When you fell, the paramedics found that you were bleeding heavily and there was nothing they could do,” he starts to choke up and I know what’s coming next. “Beautiful… you had a miscarriage.” He breaks down and places his forehead on my hand.

I literally crumble.

I can’t speak.

There’s nothing to say that will make this go away.

My baby has gone.

One stupid fall and I lose my baby.

“
No!
No, no, no, this isn’t happening. Please tell me this is wrong.” The barrier breaks and I start to sob uncontrollably. Joshua tries to hug me and console me, but I push him away. This is the worst pain I’ve ever felt.

“I’m so sorry, Miss Connor. We would like to keep you in for tonight and you can be discharged tomorrow afternoon. I will leave you alone and check on you later.” He quickly turns and disappears out the door. I’ve gone back to not speaking. I don’t know how I’m feeling.
What can I say?
I turn onto my side, facing away from Joshua and stare at the awful white wall. I feel numb inside, and I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do now. I can’t control my tears as they travel down my cheeks. I hear Joshua sob softly behind me, but I can’t find the strength to comfort him. We stay this way for hours. Both contemplating the next step and what this means for us.

It’s late evening and we haven’t spoken since this morning. The doctor has been in and out all day checking on me and how I’m doing? I don’t seem to know how to answer that question. My tears have subsided, and all I feel now is numb. I’m sitting up in my bed with Joshua by the side of me. He looks awful, but he won’t leave my side. He wouldn’t even leave to get some lunch or dinner, so the nurses have been kind enough to provide him with meals too.

Tracy came in to see me this afternoon and I was completely shocked to see her. She was supposed to be in Los Angeles, but she told me she couldn’t leave, not after my accident. I reassured her that I was fine and to go, but she was adamant that she would stay. It was Aunt Sylvia that eventually talked some sense into her. She finally admitted that she wouldn’t be getting paid for staying over here while looking after me, so Aunt Sylvia told her to go. After a while, Tracy chose to go to Los Angeles. I will miss her so much, but she needs to do this and I have Aunt Sylvia and Joshua.

Aunt Sylvia is coming to stay with me for a few weeks or so, until I’m back on my feet. I’m still really sore, so it will be great to have her around.

I haven’t talked much to Joshua. He’s been with me constantly and has made sure I have everything I need, but we don’t seem to know what to say to each other. It’s so awkward. Everything was happening so fast with us and now I’m not sure where we stand.

This afternoon, I’m being discharged from hospital and I can’t wait to be in my apartment again. I’ve packed up the few essentials I had and am waiting for Joshua to get back from speaking with the doctor. Joshua insisted on driving me home and Aunt Sylvia will meet me there. The door opens and I’m hoping to see Joshua so I can get out of here, but I look up to find two women. The short, black haired woman smiles at me. She has shoulder length hair that is tied back in a ponytail. She’s wearing a dark green checked skirt with a white blouse and a greenish blazer. She has on black ballerina flats and the amount of jewellery she has on is overwhelming. She has bracelets all the way up to her elbows on both arms, big hoop earrings and a nose piercing. The older woman is impeccably dressed. She’s wearing a light blue tunic with white linen trousers, complemented with silver sandals. Her hair is the same colour as the older woman, but it’s a lot shorter and curlier. She looks quite intimidating. I smile at the younger one again and she smiles back. She seems friendly.

“Annabelle?” she questions. I nod my head, finding it hard to speak.

“I’m Danielle. I have heard so much about you. I’m Joshua’s sister.” I must have looked confused because she felt like she had to tell me who she was. “And this is my mum, Sienna.” I look over at Sienna and she doesn’t look very happy to be introduced to me.

“Hi Danielle, Sienna, come in.” They walk in and take a seat by the side of the bed. I’m so glad I’m ready to go home and dressed, otherwise this would have been awkward.

“We are staying with Joshua for a few weeks and we heard what happened, so we came straight here. How are you doing? I’m so sorry, Annabelle.”

I smile and tears escape my eyes. I quickly wipe them away. I hate meeting Joshua’s family like this. Me crying and looking a mess is not the way I wanted to be introduced to them.

“I’m doing okay, thank you.” I don’t know what else to say. I look over to Sienna and she is looking anywhere but at me.

Have I done something to offend her?

“Joshua has been amazing and has been taking such great care of me,” I say this as I look straight at Sienna. She gives me a tilted smile but doesn’t say anything to me. Danielle looks at her mum and frowns. It seems like she doesn’t like the way her mum is acting. At that moment, Joshua walks in and takes a look at all of us sitting there awkwardly.

“Mum, Danielle, what are you doing here?” He looks concerned that they’re here and I’m not sure why.

“We just came to see how Annabelle was, and to give you both our condolences.” She smiles and stands up to give her brother a hug. “We just arrived and knew you would be here, so we came to the hospital before going to your apartment. I hope that was okay?”

“Of course, it’s fine. I was just shocked to see you, that’s all.” He gives her a peck on the cheek.

“I’m so sorry big bro, it sucks.” She makes a face and gives him another hug. They seem so close. I look at his mum and find that she’s not looking at them. Instead, she’s staring right at me. I don’t know what I’ve done wrong, but I’m starting to get the impression that she doesn’t like me. I give her a small smile, but she frowns and turns away.

“Right, big bro. We’ll leave you to get Annabelle home. We will see you later?”

“Yep, I’ll be back home a bit later on. I want to make sure Annabelle is all right first.” He looks over and gives me a small smile and I smile back. Danielle comes over to me and gives me a hug. I’m shocked as she wraps her arms around me. I have only just met her, but she seems so nice.

“It was nice to meet you, Annabelle. I hope to see you again before we leave? Maybe dinner or something?”

“Yea, that sounds lovely.” She smiles wide and turns to Sienna.

“Come on Mum.” She seems upset with her mum. I think it has something to do with her icy attitude toward me. Sienna stands and gives Joshua a hug before walking out of the room with Danielle following.

“Well, that was awkward.” I frown and get my stuff.

“Don’t worry about Mother. She’s just a bit closed off until you get to know her.”

“Wow, really, closed off? It seemed to me that she didn’t like me at all.” Joshua is silent for a while and I turn around to see him looking at me with a frown on his face.

“What Joshua?”

He sighs and closes the distance between us until he’s standing so close.

“When I told mother about you and… ” he swallows hard, “the baby, she wasn’t exactly thrilled. See, she’s had me paired off with Tammy for years. Tammy’s parents are really good friends with my mother, and Tammy gets on well with her. Mother wants me to settle down and marry Tammy, that’s why when I told her about you, she kind of got upset.” I’m shocked by his revelation.