A Controller's Destiny (Unit Matched #3) (14 page)

“Huh?” my mind is so foggy at the moment I don’t think I heard him.

“How far?” he repeats. “I never want to push you. I don’t want to be like that even though I’m trying to control my hormones and not rip your shirt off right now.”

I laugh. “Don’t feel bad because I’m having that same problem.”

“I’m pretty sure neither one of us want to lose our virginity on the couch.”

“I… I…” there are no words coming to me. I know that it’s leading to that because I know that’s what I want, but for him to say it out loud makes me stop. I can feel myself pale.

“Shorty, I’m sorry.” Graham sits up. “I didn’t… I mean… I…” Now it’s his turn to fumble on his words.

“No, it’s okay. It is.” I rapidly find my voice before he bolts away from me. I sit up close to him. “It’s okay. I promise. I want this.”

I did.

Then reality hit me like a brick to the face.

“If you don’t want to do this, that’s fine. I’m sure you’re thinking about your future Matched. I understand.”

It’s obvious that he’s hesitating right now because the same thoughts are going through his head. I’m sure that he’s trying to be nice to me because of my timeline, but still doesn’t want his future Matched tainted by me.

“Are you kidding me right now? You can’t seriously think that. You’re my Matched, Gia Centers. You. Are.”

“Graham.”

“No, stop it.” The anger in his voice scares me a little. “Right now the only thing I’m thinking about is you. There isn’t going to be another Matched in my life except you. Why can’t you understand that?”

“Graham,” I shake my head as I say his name again. “I’m doing everything I can to make sure that you’re timeline remains the same. Why can’t you understand that?”

He runs his hand through his hand in frustration. He looks at me for a moment. His mouth in a tight, firm, thin line as if he’s holding back what he really wants to say.

“Okay, I understand.” He gets up from the couch, walks up the stairs, and slams the bedroom door.

Chapter 16

The First Time

I stand outside Graham’s bedroom door listening to the music play softly on the other side. I can’t make out the words of the song, but it sounds sad, almost painful. I’ve been standing here for ten minutes debating whether I should knock or walk away.

I want to go back to when we were on the couch. I want to go back to when his lips were on mine.

I want my Matched back.

I knock on the door. I can hear Graham walking over to the door and swinging it open. He looks sad and that’s because of me.

“You want me to tell you about my feelings, right?”

He doesn’t answer.

“Well, listen to this,” I take a deep breath, let the walls of my heart and head down, and lay it all out. “I love you. I do. I know that you can feel it, so don’t even play like you can’t. On top of that, I want you. All the damn time. I swear to Mother Nature herself, I was on the verge of ripping off every stitch of clothing you had on just a few minutes ago.

“I’m scared, Graham. I’m scared of dying. I’m scared that I feel like I’m stringing you along, when I should just let you go off to find your new Matched. I’m pissed that you’re going to have this great life and it’s not going to be with me. I hate that I feel that way, but I do.

“I’m nervous that if we do have sex, that I would be the worst person in the world and totally suck at it. I’m nervous for you because I’m sure that I would be that bad. But, I still want to do it. I want to lose my virginity to you. I hate that I think about it all the time. I really hate those damn romance movies because they make it seem so easy.” I felt the tears rolling down my cheeks, but I stood there studying his face.

“Are you done?”

I slowly nod my head.

“I appreciate you for telling me the truth and how you feel.”

“Thanks.” I furrow my eyebrows because he seems so calm.

“I guess you want me to tell you how I feel then.”

“I… I… guess.” I stammer on my words because I’m not sure where this is going.

He crosses his arms and stares me down. His eyes roam up and down my body. I’m not sure what’s happening right now. Usually, Graham is more vocal and right now he’s looking at me as if I’m a piece of cake that he wants to eat.

I watch his lips twitch, holding back his smile. I can’t figure out what he’s doing right now. Is he mad? Is he thinking of ways to tell me to get lost? Nothing seems to be matching up.

“I really don’t want to talk right now.” He takes a step closer to me. His voice is husky and his dark eyes narrow slightly. He doesn’t look mean or mad at the moment. It’s something else. I’ve seen it before.

I saw it on the couch.

Before I can react, Graham takes my hand and drags me to our bedroom. His lips are on mine the moment he kicks the door shut, rattling the windows. He pushes me back until I can feel the bed behind me.

For a brief second, panic washes over me, making Graham pull back.

“Don’t do that. It’s not what you’re thinking.”

I can’t be sure how he knew what I was thinking because I was nothing but a pent up ball of hormones and emotions.

“All you ever have to say is ‘stop’, okay?”

I nod, but deep down I know that I don’t want to stop.

I want this.

I want him.

I reach up and wrap my hands around his neck and pull him back to me. It’s not bravery that makes me so bold, it’s him. The fact that I know he loves me and wants me, too.

I’m not sure how I got there, but I feel the soft contours of the bed beneath me and Graham on top of me. We are in the exact same position as we were on the couch. We even tugged our shirts up like before.

His hand on my stomach sets my skin aflame. I continue to yank on his shirt, until he finally breaks from my lips, sits up, and removes it.

My mouth drops as the sight of his chest. I’ve always known that he was big, strong, and ripped. I saw him one time when he was stepping out of the shower, but never up close.

I sit up. I look up in his eyes as my trembling fingers reach out to touch his bare chest. I keep my eyes locked with his, and I can see how heavy he’s breathing. I can’t feel any nervousness from him, but some uncertainty of what’s to come. Even I’m not exactly sure on which route to take.

I place my hand exactly over his beating heart and it’s pounding as loud as mine.

“Take my shirt off.”

Wait, did I just say that? Did those words just come out of my mouth?

They did.

They really did.

I remove my hand from Graham’s chest and hold my arms up over my head. He takes hold of the bottom of my T-shirt and pulls it over my head. My long dark hair tickles my back as it cascades down.

I’m now in front of my Matched in a bra.

Big, strong, opinionated Graham looks at me with nothing but adoring love and, quite possibly a lot of lust.

I gingerly lay back. I’m not nervous. I’m not scared.

I’m relaxed.

Graham never leaves my eyes as he hovers over me. He gently places a kiss on my lips and then my chin.

I place my hands on his biceps as I arch my neck and he kisses down toward the nape. I feel his left hand ever slowly move up my side. I bite down on my lip as Graham stops kissing me, but I can feel him panting against my skin. His fingers toy with my underwire until he fully cups his hand around my right breast.

He rests his hand there not moving it for a beat. I’m breathing as heavy as he is. He softly squeezes and I can feel my nipple harden. Graham rubs his thumb over it causing me to moan and arch my back pushing my breast up. He pinches it and a blast of pleasure shoots through me.

“Do you want me to stop?” he whispers against my skin.

“No. More.” I beg, hardly recognizing my voice.

Graham pulls down the cup of my bra and caresses me, skin on skin. I close my eyes and lift my hips. For the first time, I feel Graham’s hardness pushing against my thigh.

“Don’t stop.” I beg him for more.

“I don’t want to.” He pinches a little harder. I gasp as the same sensation rushes through me.

Graham kisses me, harder this time. I push my tongue against his mouth and he opens it, letting me have entrance.

When did I become so bold?

Graham pushes his hips against me and then rocks against me.

No. Wait.

That’s me.

I bend my knees and push against him. He groans loudly, breaking our kiss. He lays his forehead on mine then pushes himself up and sits back on his haunches.

“Graham.” I feel empty and I want him back on top of me. “What’s wrong?”

“I feel like we’re rushing.”

Is he serious?

“Rushing? Rushing?” I repeat it twice to make sure I’m hearing correctly.

He covers his face with his hands and shakes his head.

That’s it. I’m done.

“Graham,” I growl at him. “I’m tired of you over thinking this like you’re tired of me over thinking. I’ve had enough of it. Now, I feel like you’re teasing me and stringing me along. So please explain to me what the hell is going through your head?”

I can see his expression that he’s surprised by my outburst.

“I want you. I want you so much right now, I’m about to burst, in more ways than one.” He rushes out the words and I’m turned on even more.

I can’t take it anymore. I can’t wait another second.

I mimic his pose and pop up on my knees. I lightly drag my nails down his chest to the top of his belt. I push everything away and let my love take over.

My love for Graham.

I lock my eyes with his as I undo his belt. I know my hands are shaking, but I can’t show him. I undo the button and pull the zipper. I let go of him and swiftly unclasp my bra and toss it across the room.

Graham’s eyes are wide as I lay back down and shimmy out of my jeans leaving only my lacy underwear.

Graham softly touches my leg where the tattoo is. The touch makes me shiver. I’m the only one that has ever touched it. He traces the ivy vine and leaves that wrap around my entire thigh.

I get back up on my knees pressing myself closer to him. I bite down on my lip as I kiss the middle of his chest. His skin is warm on my lips. I tug on his jeans dragging them past his hips.

“You want this as much as I do; I know it.”

I knew that he would never push me, and if he said stop then I would.

“I want you.” His words were my undoing, and he shuffles himself out the jeans and boxers. I nearly rip my underwear off as I get out of them.

“I don’t have any protection.”

“I’m on the pill. Its fine.” I grab his shoulders and pull him down to me.

“Why?” He looks confused.

“I’ve had issues with my periods before and this helps them stay on track.” I search his face. “Do you want to stop?”

“No.”

I pull his lips to mine, letting his body cover mine. We fumble for a second to figure out where we need to put our hands, but we eventually get it.

I spread my legs open and Graham positions himself to push into me. We both take a deep breath as he continues to press into me.

I gasp as I feel myself stretching to take his fullness inside. He pulls back then repeats. I feel the tear and pinching as he guides himself all the way in.

“Are… are you okay?”

I nod and he continues a little faster this time. The burning and pinching fade after a few strokes and the pleasure pulses through every inch of my body.

Graham nuzzles into the crook of my neck and begins pumping into me faster, grunting against my skin.

I lift my knees higher and wrap my legs around his hips, raising myself closer to him.

“Gia. Gia.” He says my name over and over. With each syllable, he drives into me harder.

I can’t seem to catch my breath as I feel my body tighten up. Our rhythm is in sync as I pant his name and he keeps thrusting into me.

I arch my back as I feel the tension leaving me. With one more grunt and jerk of his hips, Graham finds his release.

Neither of us moves. We lay holding each other, letting our love surround us.

Chapter 17

Fun Vacation Time

My cheeks hurt from smiling so much as I walk into the Diner to have lunch with the girls. Even though Graham and I hardly slept, I feel refreshed and giddy. Not to mention that I’m also sore, but it was worth it.

We stayed up talking about nothing, everything, and had another round, or two, of sex. I learned that Graham likes rock music, he hates shopping-even though he goes with me, and fried chicken is his favorite food. I learned that it was his grandfather that taught him and his brother about cars and he hopes to one day own a 1972 Chevy Camaro because that’s the first car he ever worked on.

By the time the sun rose, I felt like I knew every single thing about him. He seemed to open up to me like water gushing through a broken dam and it made me so happy.

“Well, look at you.” Amaya stares as I sit down at the table.

“What?”

“You’re glowing,” Xaviera adds.

“Oh,” I touch my cheeks. “Am I?”

“Someone got laid last night and it wasn’t just me,” Amaya points at me.

Xaviera gasp. “Did you?”

I can’t lie to them. They can see right through me. I nod. “We did.”

The girls squeal and clap causing others to turn and look at us. It makes me grow redder and I drop my head.

“How was it?” Xaviera finally calms down to ask.

“It was… really great.” I cover my mouth to shield my smile of jubilation.

“We’re happy for you,” Xaviera smiles.

“Ditto,” Amaya chimes in. “Now, let’s order some food. I’m sure you’re starving from all the exercise you got.” She winks at me.

Thankfully, the girls didn’t ask me to go into detail about my first time. Instead, we talk about New Orleans. We’re leaving Friday when I get off work. Oliver and Amaya said they would drive first and once they get tired then we would stop and get a hotel to rest.

Xaviera is worried that she’ll have to stop at a rest area every three minutes because it seems that the baby is sitting on her bladder. Amaya and I told her not to worry, that if we have to stop, we will.

Thaddeus’ presentation is on Monday and then the rest of the week is ours to spend as we wish. I’m hoping to at least spend one full day, alone, with Graham.

The girls have already planned a shopping day on Tuesday because Thaddeus has mentioned going golfing with the guys. I knew that Graham hated golfing but plays because Thaddeus and Oliver like it.

After that we eat, laugh at our silliness, and enjoy each other’s company. There’s no discussion of the fight that soon will be staring us in the face.

It’s just a normal day in Unit with my friends.

~~~

Normal.

It is a word that I’m loving right now because that is how my whole week has been.

Since Sunday, Graham and I have had a perfect week. He still is taking and picking me up from work. We’ve been cooking dinner together then watching a movie in the evening, and then at night enjoying each other’s company. It isn’t always about sex; although there has been a lot more of that going on, but the communication has been the most amazing thing to me.

Friday seems to drag, but finally, I’m free. Once, I shove everything into my bag, I run down the hall to the front of the building. Graham sent me a text earlier and said that everyone is packed and ready to go once I was finished.

When I walk out the doors, my friends greet me. We all couldn’t fit in one car of our own so Oliver rented a van for the trip.

Graham jumps out and helps me into the vehicle since we’re going to be in the far back. Xaviera is much bigger and has been having a harder time moving around. I didn’t mind though because I could cuddle with Graham.

After we all say our greetings, Oliver puts the van in drive and we’re off. I can feel the relaxation come over me as we leave the gates of Unit and toward the interstate. Graham reaches down to a small bag that’s by him and pulls out my Kindle.

“You left this on the nightstand; I figured you needed it.”

I smile at his thoughtfulness.

“Aw, look at Graham being all girly and sweet.” Amaya turns in her seat to face him.

“Shut up, Amaya,” he growls at her.

“I don’t think I can handle you both bickering the whole way,” Thaddeus says.

“Amaya, turn around and behave,” Oliver orders in a gentle, but firm tone.

“Or what?” she crosses her arms staring at him.

“Or I’ll gag you.”

“There’s something we haven’t tried,” Amaya coos at him without missing a beat.

“Amaya!” Xaviera and I both yell at her.

“All right, all right.” She faces forward, grumbling. “You two are no fun.”

We all finally settle down and listen to the smooth sounds of the radio. We all make small chitchat throughout the van, but overall it’s relaxing ride.

About four hours in, Xaviera is about to burst and I’m hungry. Oliver finds a truck stop and we head inside.

The place is enormous and very clean. After we finish with the bathrooms, we have a choice of a couple restaurants, and we all scramble for food.

After we eat, rest, and Xaviera uses the bathroom again, Oliver fills up with gas, and we’re off again.

I cuddle up next to Graham and drift into sleep. Even though I’m not very comfortable in this position, it’s calming being in his arms.

~~~

Before I can even figure out what is happening the sun is shining in my face. My eyes flutter open, and I see that we’re still in the van.

I sit up and Graham smiles down at me. I look forward, Amaya is lying on Oliver’s shoulder, and Thaddeus is driving and Xaviera is next to him.

I’m confused.

“You were still asleep when we stopped last.” Graham answers my unspoken question. “We decided to keep going on instead of getting a hotel. Thaddeus volunteered to drive since you were still asleep.”

I nod and reach for my purse to grab a couple mints to pop in my mouth. I find an elastic hair tie and try to tame my hair into a ponytail.

“You look beautiful,” Graham whispers in my ear.

Before I could say thank you, Amaya pops into the conversation. “I heard that.”

“Oh, like Oliver doesn’t say sweet things to you,” I bark at her.

She faces me with a wicked grin. “Do you want to know what he says?”

“No!” Everyone says at the same time, making Oliver burst into laughter before he puts his arm around her, turning her around.

“Where are we?” I ask aloud.

“We just passed the Tennessee state line.” Xaviera informs me.

“Wow, really.”

“We’re making great time.”

“That’s because Amaya is a speed demon,” Oliver chips in.

“Hey, I didn’t get pulled over, did I?” she whines.

“That’s because they couldn’t catch you,” Graham adds making Oliver chuckle.

“Shut up.” Amaya glares at Graham.

“Hey,” Xaviera turns to us. “Since everyone’s awake, want to grab some breakfast?”

We all agree and Thaddeus finds a place to stop.

After we eat and fill up again on gas, we’re off again. This time Graham and I are in front and let Thaddeus and Xaviera rest.

It doesn’t seem like we had been driving that long, but soon we were in New Orleans and at our hotel. We’re all stiff, tired, and in dire need of rest. We agree to meet up later, but right now, I just want a hot shower and bed.

Our hotel room has one queen size bed, a small sitting area, and a large bathroom. Xaviera and Thaddeus are across the hall, and Oliver and Amaya have an adjoining room to us.

“Shorty, you want to take a shower first.”

I smile at him because he knows me so well. I nod, grab my small bag, and head into the bathroom. I turn on the hot water and strip out of the clothes that I’ve had on for over twenty-four hours.

The hot water and steam is refreshing as I stand under the showerhead. I don’t move as the water cascades around me washing away the grime of being in the car for so long.

I’m startled when I feel a pair of hands around my waist, but instantly calm when I know they’re Graham’s.

“What are you doing?”

“I thought that we could help conserve some water by taking a shower together.” He kisses the side of my neck. “That okay?”

I turn to face him.

“It’s better than okay.” I rise up on my tiptoes and bring his lips closer to mine. Between the heat of the water, the steam, and Graham, I lose myself in pure blissful happiness.

~~~

“Shorty, you’re still smiling.” Graham’s scruff on his cheek tickles my bare back.

For the past three hours, we’ve been together in the shower, against the wall, and in the bed.

“I’m happy. It feels good. But, I think I’m tired.”

Graham stills. “Am I wearing you out?”

I giggle turning over to face him. “Maybe or maybe it’s the fact that we just travel over 1,600 miles, too.”

“Maybe,” he pecks my lips.

“I’m thirsty.” I grab my shirt at the end of the bed. “I’m going to run to the vending machine.” I hop out of the bed and grab a pair of jeans.

“No, I’ll go.” Graham starts to stand, but I push him back.

“I’ll be a minute. Lay back and rest.” I kiss him. “I love you so much, Graham.”

He smirks. “I love you too, Shorty.”

I grab money from my purse and head out down the hall. I practically skip to the Pepsi machine. I feel like a brand new person. I could conqueror anything.

I step up to the machine and insert money for the drink. When I bend down to retrieve it, panic hits me as I feel a leather clad glove cover my mouth.

My screams are muffled and I begin to kick and thrash. Two people covered in black clothing grab my legs and another two grab my arms. I’m able to free one hand and I see Mrs. Roberts above me. She gives me an evil grin before I feel I pinch on my arm and everything goes black.