A Corpse in the Soup (3 page)

Goldie shot her a knowing look.
Shame on you, Sis. Yesterday on your deathbed, today you’re flirting. I should have known.

Propped against the pillows, fluttering her mascara-plumped lashes, Godiva accepted the gorgeous flowers, amused at the hesitant expression on Romano’s face. She winked at Goldie.
But he’s such a hunk.

Romano looked from sister to sister shaking his head, musing, and said, “No wonder I mixed you up. You two look exactly alike.”

Goldie grimaced, “I hope you don’t mean I look half-dead.”

Chili flicked an embarrassed glance toward her mother and quickly changed the subject, “Chef Romano, I hope you don’t think I’m being, like, nosy, but what happened to Candy? How come you’re, uh, working alone?”

“I’d rather not discuss it, my dear.” He squared up his shoulders. “Anyway she’s gone now, and good riddance to the ungrateful little airhead.”

“Airhead?” Chili blurted out. “I read in Darcy Lovejoy’s column that you and Candy were an item.”

Romano sputtered, “Candy? Not on your life! You know, young lady, you can’t believe everything you read.”

Godiva tried to listen, but the medication made her drowsy. As her eyes closed, half-sentences floated through her fuzzy brain.
Candy gone? Who’s Candy? Can’t eat Candy, stomach hurts...Candy Vandy...no Vander, no, Vanlooper...Candy gone?

Suddenly a letter she had gotten weeks ago popped into her head. Just for a moment she saw it clearly:

Dear G.O.D.,

I work for an older guy who is handsome and famous. I can’t get him interested no matter what I do, he always treats me like a baby. I hand him things and smile a lot, but inside I want to scream I LOVE YOU. If I quit do you think he might beg me to come back?

—Baste or Bail

Godiva tried to concentrate.
Loves her boss, famous handsome guy, hands him things? Candy? Who cares? Doesn’t matter. Think about it tomorrow...
Chili’s eager voice jolted her out of her stupor.

“That is sooo cool! Can we do it, Aunt Godiva? Please, say yes.”

Forcing her eyelids open, Godiva looked at her niece’s blurry image, “Huh?”

“The dinner, Aunt Godiva. Chef Romano offered to cook dinner for us. Remember the show? You invited him. Please say yes.”

Romano flashed his famous smile, his chemically whitened teeth glistening in the wash of the hospital room’s overhead light. “And I promise there will be no shrimp or mushrooms on the menu. I really want to make up for what happened, although I still can’t imagine what went wrong. Vinny’s Vegetable Mart has nothing but the finest produce. Still...maybe...no, that’s ridiculous…”

As Romano sat there contemplating, Goldie interrupted the silence.

“What’s ridiculous? What are you talking about? It sounds like you think there was something more? You owe us an explanation, if you have one. After all, that’s my sister lying in that bed. And, you...you almost killed her!”

Romano’s mustache twitched up and down. “I don’t want to talk about it now. All I can say is this poisoning wasn’t the first bizarre incident on the show. When I come over to cook for you, we’ll have plenty of time to discuss all the strange things that have been going on. Truthfully, I really do need to talk it over with someone. Don’t worry, I promise you’ll be safe.”

Godiva fluttered those luxurious lashes again. “Well, I don’t know. I’m not really sure I’m up to it.” But for a split second she allowed her eyes to bore into his.
Just name the day and time and I’ll preheat the oven, Romeo.

“Come on, Aunt Godiva. Repeat after me, ‘yes.’ Okay? Maybe Chef Romano would even let me help him.”

“Okay, okay, you win, Chili. Let’s see, the doctor said he would release me in the morning, so I should be able to handle one of your fabulous dinners by Monday.”

Romano made a tent with his fingertips, “Oh, excellent!”

“Not so quick, my dear Chef, part of the deal is that the dinner includes my mother and my uncle, you’ll like them, they’re old vaudeville magicians. My son Torch should be back from location so include him, too.” She puffed with pride. “He’s a special effects man, been blowing up spaceships in the Mojave Desert.”

Romano’s moustache wiggled. “Do tell?”

“Ummhmm...got an academy award nomination for
The Legend of Zork
...don’t think you saw it, not your kind of movie...”

“OK, dinner for six, any other conditions?”

“Yes, the most important one. Chili gets to help you cook.”

Her voice trailed off as her eyes began to close. “...work out the details with Goldie and Chili. They’ll tell you how to get there...I’m very tired now...” Godiva started to fall asleep.

Her eyes shot open for just a moment as Romano blew a kiss off his fingertips before the door clicked shut. She focused on Chili and winked. “Play your cards right, Sweetie, and Aunt Godiva might help you snag a job with Romano. Replace whazzer name? Taffy? Cookie? All you girls sound like food these days.”

The eyelids drooped again. Delightful thoughts ran through her slumbering mind.
Not much to being a TV chef’s assistant. Plenty of time to help me read letters.
Godiva drifted off again. Just a hint of a smile remained.

CHAPTER 7

Caesar Romano swept into the house with the majestic flourish of a philharmonic maestro, issuing rapid-fire instructions to Godiva’s mousy little maid. Guadalupe staggered behind him carrying so many bags she looked like a pack mule.

Godiva patted down her dress and fluffed up her hair as she heard him approaching. She struck a nonchalant pose against the center island in the kitchen.

“My dear Mrs. Dubois! You look extraordinary. Thank you again for giving me a chance to make up for last week’s terrible incident.”

He gave her fingers a slight squeeze and then released them, studying his surroundings. He nodded with apparent approval at the double Viking six-burner stoves, Sub Zero appliances, marble-topped dough island and every other extravagance a chef could hope for in a huge residential kitchen. He threw his arms open wide. “Such a magnificent room. Truly, a thing of beauty, like its owner.”

Godiva watched Chili chatter non-stop as they unpacked all the food. Just as Godiva had coached her, she let him know about her formal cooking training, her current position on the cruise ship and her lofty aspirations. If the calculating look in his eye was anything to judge by, Romano was already picturing her prancing around the Kitchen Coliseum during the upcoming
Gourmet Gladiator
competition.

Godiva smiled.
Mission accomplished. Time for me to take center stage.

She pressed her hand to her belly, grimacing just a bit. “I hope my poor stomach can handle this rich menu. It hasn’t had much time to heal, you know.”

Romano dropped his cleaver on the cutting board and rushed to Godiva’s side. “You’re not feeling well, my dear? I do hope you won’t have to call an attorn...er, doctor.”

Godiva waved him away. “No, no. I’m sure I’ll be fine. Just let me sit down for a moment.” The words had barely left her lips when Romano whisked a tall-backed kitchen stool from the bar and seated her upon it as if she were a delicate soufflé.

Godiva patted him on the arm. “Caesar, don’t worry. I’m fine. Really. Please don’t stop cooking. I’m looking forward to this peace offering.”

He looked at her with concern and went back to his chopping. She sat perched on the stool watching. He returned every now and then to see how she was or rave about some piece of her kitchen equipment. And, each time he came back to her side he touched her a little longer, with a little more affection.

Finally he said, “Lovely lady, its time for you to join
la famiglia
in the living room while I put the finishing touches on our meal.” He released her hand, though he seemed reluctant to do so. “Dinner will be served in about half an hour, I really must see how your maid is doing with the table settings.”

Romano strode away, but Godiva lingered. “Chili, I’m so proud of you. You did such a good job of promoting yourself.”

Chili winked at her. “You’re a great teacher, Auntie.” She leaned her head close to Godiva’s. “By the way,” she fanned herself, “he is so hot for you!”

“Do you really think so? I think he’s more interested in my kitchen.” Godiva ran her fingers along the cold, smooth marble countertop. “And not getting sued, did you notice his accidental mention of a lawyer?”

“No way. He was looking at you like he wanted to dust you with sugar and then kiss it all off.”

Tantalizing aromas drifted through the house from the kitchen as Chili entered the parlor holding a beautiful tray. It was overflowing with canapés shaped like little space ships, vegetable swans, cream cheese roses and tulips, and turtles made out of truffles. Flossie raved over the spectacular creations, but Sterling simply popped a rose into his mouth and seemed more concerned with filling his rumbling gut than admiring Chili’s craftsmanship.

“I thought you guys might like these little tidbits.” Chili lowered her voice and smiled at her captivated audience. “I made them mostly to impress Chef Romano. I learned how to do them on the ship.”

“Well, you impressed me,
Tottelah.
” Flossie tweaked her granddaughter’s cheek.

“I’m so proud of her.” Goldie sighed as she watched her daughter disappear down the hall.

Torch plopped down on the couch beside Godiva. “Hey, Mom, what about me? I blow up movie stars, I burn down skyscrapers, I destroy aliens. Don’t I get some credit for being clever?” He popped a spaceship canapé into his mouth. “Aren’t you all proud of me, too?”

“Of course, dear,” said Godiva, giving her son’s knee a careless pat. “But tonight it’s your cousin’s turn to shine.”

Chili burst back into the living room, “Dinner is served!” She grabbed Flossie by the elbow and dragged her into the glittering dining room.

The room was the picture of elegance with its crystal chandelier ablaze, Waterford goblets twinkling beside the gilded Wedgwood plates, and the walnut sideboard polished to a fine patina. Guadalupe trotted back and forth covering the lace tablecloth with silver serving platters. Caesar Romano presented his
piece d’resistance
as Chili brought up the rear with a magnificent tureen of zucchini vichyssoise.

The pâte was perfect, the Boeuf Bourguignon was brilliant, the spinach soufflé was superb, and by the time the crème brulé was served, Chili had accepted an offer to be Romano’s new assistant.

Goldie circled behind Chili’s chair and gave her a hug. “Don’t look so forlorn, honey. Dad will understand. After all, crew members come and go...”

“I know, Mom, but I feel like I’m deserting him.”

“Nonsense. He’s always known the ship was your stepping stone to bigger things.”

Godiva beamed at her niece. “Besides, it’s not like you will be alone in L.A. You’ll be here with me.”

Goldie locked eyes with Godiva.
That’s what Red won’t be happy with.
Then she turned to Romano with an unreadable expression on her face. “Caesar, if Chili is going to work for you, I’d really like to know your sign.”

“Eh, excuse me?’ He swiped at his mouth with a linen napkin.

“Well you see, I put a lot of faith in astrology, so I need to know your sign. You know, to see how well you’ll get along with Chili. She’s an Aquarius.”

Flossie jumped in, wagging her finger at Caesar. “This might not mean much to you, young man, but Mars-Saturn-Pluto is under the influence of Neptune right now, which means anything could happen.

“Mom’s right,” Goldie said, “and that really worries me considering what happened to Godiva on your show.”

Caesar hesitated a moment before answering. “Let me see...end of March. I think I’m an Aries. But really, ladies, I don’t put much stock in that sort of thing.”

Flossie and Goldie exchanged disappointed glances, but Sterling shot Godiva a satisfied smile, which his niece returned whole-heartedly.

After Chili retreated to the kitchen to help Guadalupe clean the dishes, Goldie folded her napkin on the table in a businesslike manner. “Okay, Caesar, I’ve waited long enough for you to make good on your promise. You said you had something to share with us concerning problems on the show and I want to hear it.”

Romano squirmed in his chair. He cleared his throat and studied the faces of the old vaudevillians, the pyrotechnic wizard and the Silver sisters.

After a moment’s hesitation he said, “This is the first time in quite a while that I’ve been among people who make me feel truly relaxed.” Romano’s voice cracked, and little red blotches appeared above each cheek as his suave veneer started to ebb away. When he spoke again his voice had an edge that hadn’t been there earlier. “I am almost certain that the food poisoning wasn’t an accident.”

Torch was the first to gather his wits. “Not an accident? What are you saying?”

“This might sound crazy, but I really think those poisonous mushrooms were planted in the food.”

Now he had the attention of everyone at the table.

His steel blue eyes drilled into Godiva’s. “I know that blowhard Biff Wellington is out to get me. I can’t prove anything, but trust me, that jerk is up to no good. And, as you can see, it’s getting worse.”

Flossie rolled her eyes. “He’s a jerk, all right.” She made sure she had everyone’s full attention. “Today everyone’s got a gimmick. I watched that aerobic chef one time. For goodness sake. Jumping around and exercising while he cooks. Such
mishagass
! In our day, you didn’t treat a chicken leg like a barbell.”

Sterling shook his head. “You’re being a bit dramatic here, aren’t you? What’s getting worse, old boy? After all, you and Wellington aren’t dueling gang lords, you’re just rival chefs. Even if you both want that, what was it? Gobbling Gladiator award? Well, whatever the hell it is, that doesn’t sound like a reason to risk poisoning innocent people.”

Romano’s expression darkened. “
Gourmet Gladiator
, Sterling. It’s the Academy Award of cooking, so I really don’t think I’m exaggerating about this sabotage. But I don’t even know if I should be telling you all this…”