A Cousin's Prayer (2 page)

Katie squinted against the sunlight streaming through the open window of her bedroom. Today was her cousin’s wedding day, and no matter how much she dreaded going, she knew she was expected to be there on time.

Forcing herself to sit up, she swung her legs over the edge of the bed. Shuffling across the room, she peered out the window. The sky was a deep indigo blue, and the sun shone so brightly she had to shield her eyes from its glare. Loraine had gotten her wish—it was going to be another warm day. Katie wished she could spend the day sitting on the grassy banks by the pond behind their house instead of going to the wedding and putting on a happy face. No matter how bad she felt, though, she couldn’t let on to Loraine or anyone else in her family. Only Grammy knew that Katie hadn’t fully recovered from Timothy’s death, and even she didn’t know the full extent of Katie’s emotional state.

She sighed and turned away from the window. It was time to get dressed and help Mom with breakfast.

“Are you sure you really have to leave the day after tomorrow?” Katie heard Mom say as she approached the kitchen.

“Jah, I need to get back home in time for my friend Anna’s birthday,” Grammy said. “Anna’s a recent widow, and several of her friends are getting together to take her out for lunch, and then I’ll need to...” Grammy’s voice lowered, and Katie couldn’t hear the rest of what she said. Well, it didn’t matter; Katie was relieved to know they’d be returning to Sarasota soon. Even though she didn’t look forward to riding on the bus again, it would be a welcome relief to get back to a place where she felt free from so many reminders of the past.

When Katie stepped into the kitchen, she was greeted by a friendly smile from Grammy, who stood at the sink filling the coffeepot with water.

“Didn’t you sleep well, Katie?” Mom asked, moving away from the stove, where she’d been frying a slab of bacon.
“Du bischt awwer verschlofe heit.”

Katie yawned and stretched her arms over her head. “I guess I am sleepyheaded. I had trouble sleeping.”

“You were probably excited about the wedding today, jah?”

Katie nodded and forced a smile. She felt nervous about being one of Loraine’s attendants, but if she admitted that to Mom, she’d probably be given a bunch of suggestions on how to relax.

“I know I’ve said this before, but it’s awfully good to have you home.” Mom gave Katie a hug. “Your daed and I have missed you so much. So have your brothers and their families.”

“I ... I missed you all, too.” Katie looked around, anxious for something to do—anything to keep her hands busy. “Is there something you’d like me to do?” she asked.

“Why don’t you scramble up some eggs?” Mom pointed to the refrigerator. “Your daed brought in some fresh ones earlier, so there should be plenty.”

Katie took a carton of eggs from the refrigerator and set it on the counter. When she removed a bowl from the cupboard she bumped her arm. The bowl slipped out of her hand and crashed to the floor.

“
Ach,
Katie, watch what you’re doing!” Mom’s forehead wrinkled. “Are you feeling
naerfich
about the wedding? Your hands are sure shaking.”

“Guess I am a little nervous. This is the first wedding I’ve been asked to take part in.”

Katie went down on her knees to pick the bowl up, relieved that it hadn’t broken.

When she stood, Mom said, “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.”

“I’ve got the coffee going now, so Katie, why don’t you let me scramble the eggs?” Grammy smiled. “Then you can have a seat at the table and visit with your mamm and me until your daed comes in to eat.”

Katie shook her head. “I don’t need to sit. I want to help with breakfast.”

“Then why don’t you run down to the basement for me? I’d like to have a jar of my homemade salsa to put on the table.” Mom smiled. “You know how much your daed likes salsa on his eggs.”

“Okay.” Katie grabbed a flashlight from a wall peg near the door and hurried from the room. When she reached the basement, she lit a gas lamp and made her way to the area where Mom kept all her canning goods. Several shelves were loaded with an array of jars filled with peaches, pears, beets, carrots, and several other fruits and vegetables, as well as the salsa. As she reached for some salsa, something furry brushed her bare foot.

Katie jumped as a little gray mouse skittered past her and ducked into a hole across the room.
Calm down,
she told herself.
It’s just a little
maus.

She grabbed the jar of salsa, turned off the gas lamp, and hurried up the stairs.

“I think Dad needs to set some mousetraps in the basement,” Katie said to Mom when she entered the kitchen. “I saw a maus down there.”

Mom pursed her lips. “I thought he had set some traps. Guess he’ll need to set a few more.”

“A few more what?” Dad asked, walking through the doorway.

“Mousetraps,” Mom said. “Katie saw a maus in the basement.”

“I’ll take care of it after we get home from the wedding.” Dad hurried to the sink and washed his hands. “Is breakfast ready? We’ll need to get going soon.”

Mom nodded. “Sit yourself down, and we’ll put things on the table.”

After everyone was seated, they bowed their heads for silent prayer. Katie prayed for strength to get through the day and asked God to calm her racing heart.

When the prayer was done, they hurried through their meal, although Katie only picked at the food on her plate. How could she eat when it felt as if a brigade of butterflies was fluttering around in her stomach?

She pushed her chair away from the table and was about to grab her plate when Mom said, “You’d better eat more than that if you’re going to make it through the day, Katie.”

“I can’t eat any more.”

“It’ll be a long time until the first wedding meal’s served. I really think you should—”

“Let the girl be, JoAnn,” Dad said. “If she’s hungry, she’ll eat.”

Katie was relieved when Mom didn’t press the issue. It was bad enough that her stomach was tied in knots; she didn’t need Mom pestering her to eat.

When the kitchen had been cleaned up and dishes were done, Katie and her family hurried outside and climbed into Dad’s buggy.

The buggy horse stamped nervously, obviously anxious to be on his way. Katie sure wasn’t anxious to go. The more she thought about her part in Loraine’s wedding, the more nervous she became. The only thing that might make it a little easier to get through the day was knowing that in just a few days, she and Grandma would be on their way to Florida.

“Are you naerfich?” Freeman asked Wayne when he joined him and Loraine’s cousin Andrew outside the Hershbergers’ buggy shed where the wedding service would be held.

Wayne gave a quick nod and clasped his hands together. “I’ve never felt more nervous, but I’m feeling
glicklich
to be marrying the woman I love.”

“So if you’re feeling lucky, then you must not be gettin’ cold feet.”

“Just one cold foot.” Wayne pointed to his artificial limb. “This foot doesn’t feel anything at all.” He chuckled and punched Andrew’s arm.

Andrew snickered. “I’ve never known anyone who liked to joke around the way you do.”

“What about Jake? He always has lots of funny stories.”

“Speaking of Jake,” Freeman spoke up, “will he be coming today?”

Wayne shook his head. “I got a letter from him last week. Said he was busy at the horse ranch in Montana and wouldn’t be able to make it to our wedding.”

Freeman had a feeling the reason Jake wasn’t coming to this special event had more to do with the fact that he used to date Loraine than it did with him being too busy. He couldn’t really blame him. It would be hard for any man to watch the woman he loved marry someone else. Not that Freeman knew anything about that personally. He was twenty-two years old but had only had a couple of girlfriends so far. He’d never been serious about either of them.

“Looks like Loraine and her attendants are heading this way,” Andrew said, nudging Wayne’s arm.

Freeman glanced to his left. Ella walked beside Loraine, and he recognized Katie Miller, the shorter of the two, walking with her. He hadn’t seen Katie since he’d moved to Ohio with his family several years ago, but he didn’t think she’d changed much. Same emerald green eyes, shiny brown hair, and turned-up nose. She was only two years younger than him, but she looked more like a fifteen-year-old girl than she did a woman.

“Are you ready for this?” Loraine asked, stepping up to Wayne.

He grinned down at her. “I’m a bit naerfich, but I’m more than ready to make you my
fraa.
”

Loraine’s cheeks turned pink when she smiled at her groom. Then she turned to Freeman and said, “You remember my cousin Katie, don’t you?”

“Of course.” He smiled at Katie. “It’s good to see you again.”

She gave a nod but averted her gaze.

Freeman remembered how when they were children, Katie had been a little chatterbox. She’d always asked their teacher a lot of questions and often whispered to her friends when she should have been paying attention.

Freeman heard some laughter and glanced to his right. Eunice Byler was walking across the yard with her parents and twelve-year-old brother, Richard. The Bylers had moved to Indiana a few weeks ago, after leaving Pennsylvania in search of more land. Eunice’s dad had stopped by Freeman’s bicycle shop a few days after they’d moved and purchased bikes for Eunice and Richard. Since that time, Eunice had come by the shop a couple of times to ask Freeman some questions about her bike.

“It’s time for us to go in now.” Wayne leaned closer to Loraine. “Just think, by this time next year, we’ll be celebrating our first anniversary.”

“You might even have a
boppli
by then,” Ella said with a twinkle in her eyes.

The wedding service seemed to drag on and on as the congregation sang songs and listened to the messages being preached by some of the visiting ministers. It was so hot inside the building that steam had formed around the edges of the windows.

When Loraine and Wayne finally stood in front of the bishop to say their vows, Katie noticed that Wayne’s eyes glistened with tears, although his face wore a broad smile, as did Loraine’s.

“Can you confess, brother, that you accept this, our sister, as your wife, and that you will not leave her until death separates you?” the bishop asked Wayne.

Without hesitation, Wayne nodded and said, “Yes.”

Katie blinked against a rush of tears as a sense of unease grew within her like a gathering storm. She attempted to focus on what the bishop was saying to Loraine, but the rapid rhythm of her heartbeat made if difficult to stay focused. The unexplained fear she felt increased, and a nauseous bile rose in her throat.

I need to concentrate on something else.
Katie glanced to the other side of the room where several young boys sat. They looked bored. One of them chewed gum. Another twiddled his fingers. A third boy stared out the window with a look of longing on his face. Did he wish to be outside as much as Katie did?

She looked at the section where the men sat. One young father held his sleeping young son in his lap. Another sat with a restless baby in his arms.

Her gaze swung to the other side of the room. Some of the younger girls sat quietly whispering to one another, and a few of them held their dolls in their laps.

Hearing a baby cry, Katie’s attention was drawn to the benches where some of the young mothers sat. One woman held a baby against her shoulder and was gently patting its back. Another, whose baby had fallen asleep, stroked the infant’s flushed cheek with her thumb.

“‘Husbands love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it,’” the bishop quoted from Ephesians 5:25.

Katie’s face heated up then broke into a cold sweat. Her hands felt frozen, yet the air in the room was stifling. It felt as if something heavy was pushing on her chest. Her stomach clenched. She needed some air. She needed to get out of this room!

With no thought of what anyone might think, Katie jumped up and raced out the door.

Katie’s legs shook as she stood outside the Hershbergers’

buggy shed trying to cool off and calm her racing heart. The fresh scent of earth coming from the first warm days of spring offered little comfort. She couldn’t believe she’d gotten up in the middle of Loraine and Wayne’s wedding vows and rushed outside. She couldn’t believe she was such a ball of nerves.

There must be something wrong with me. Am I losing my mind?
A shudder rippled through Katie. When she had been sitting in that buggy shed, she’d felt as if she was going to die. Was that how Timothy had felt right before his life was snuffed out?

A gentle hand touched Katie’s shoulder, and she whirled around. Ella stood behind her with a worried expression.

“Are you okay? You look
umgerennt.
”

Katie shook her head. “I’m not upset. It was so hot in there, and I—I needed some fresh air.” She fanned her face with her hands and blew out a quick breath.

“Your face looks flushed. Maybe you should go up to the house and get a drink of water.”

“I’m okay now. I just need to stay out here awhile so I can cool down.”

“The wedding will be over soon, and then we’ll be heading over to Aunt Priscilla and Uncle Amos’s place for the first meal of the day. Maybe you’ll feel better once you’ve had something to eat.”

“Jah, maybe so.” Katie wished she didn’t have to go to even one of the wedding meals, but with her being one of Loraine’s attendants, she didn’t see any way she could get out of it.

Ella slipped her arm around Katie’s waist. “Are you sure you’re all right?”

“I’m fine. I just need to be alone for a while.”

Ella looked stunned. “You’re not going back inside for the rest of the wedding?”

“No.”

“I’ll wait out here with you then.”

Katie shook her head. “It wouldn’t look right if we both stayed out here. Everyone will wonder what’s going on.”

“You’re probably right. Guess I’d better get back inside.”

When Ella left, Katie decided to start walking up the road to Uncle Amos and Aunt Priscilla’s house. Maybe her help would be needed in the kitchen. At least that would occupy her hands and hopefully keep her from thinking too many negative thoughts.

“How come you left the wedding?” Loraine asked when she stepped into her mother’s kitchen and found Katie mixing a fruit salad.

“It was too warm in there, and I needed some air.” Katie glanced past Loraine’s shoulder. “Where’s Wayne? Shouldn’t the two of you be seated at your table by now?”

Loraine nodded. “And so should our attendants.”

Katie’s face flamed. “I’m—uh—busy helping here.”

“You’re not one of the cooks, you know. You’re supposed to be with the wedding party.”

Katie dropped her gaze to the floor. “I’ll be there as soon as I’m done with the salad.”

“I can do that for you.” Selma Hershberger scurried across the room and took the spoon from Katie.

As Loraine followed Katie out the door, she felt concerned. Not only had Katie run outside in the middle of the wedding, but she was acting awfully strange. It seemed as though she’d rather be helping in the kitchen than joining the others at the wedding meal. What happened to the old Katie who used to be full of laughter and enjoyed being with people?

When they entered the barn where the tables had been set up a few days before, Loraine took a seat on the left side of her groom, while Ella seated herself beside Loraine, with Katie next to her. Andrew and Freeman took seats on the right side of Wayne.

Loraine looked over at Ella and said, “I’ve smiled so much already today that the muscles in my cheeks are beginning to ache.”

“It’s been a happy, blessed day, and you have every right to smile.” Ella squeezed Loraine’s arm. “Seeing two people I care so much about come together as husband and wife brought tears to my eyes.”

“It brought a few tears to my eyes as well,” Loraine said.

“Same here.” Wayne leaned closer to Loraine. “When the bishop asked if I’d accept you as my wife and never leave until death separates us, I got so choked up I wasn’t sure I could answer his question.”

Loraine reached under the table and clasped Wayne’s hand. “When I think of how close I came to losing you, I get choked up, too.”

He squeezed her fingers in response. “I hope we never take each other for granted. I want us to teach our
kinner
to appreciate their family and live each day to the fullest.”

“I agree with that.” Loraine glanced over at Katie. She still seemed sad and nervous. She hadn’t said more than a few words to anyone since they’d sat down at the table. Was she missing Timothy? Was she thinking about the wedding they’d never have?

As they bowed their heads for silent prayer before the meal began, Loraine thanked God for her new husband and asked Him to bless all of her family—especially Katie.

“With all this food being served here, I hate to think of how full we’ll be by the end of the day,” Freeman said to Andrew.

Andrew chuckled and reached for the bowl of fruit salad one of the waiters had just put on the table. “Think maybe I’ll run around awhile between each of the meals that will be served throughout the day. When I get tired of that, I might make some animal balloons for some of the kinner.”

Freeman’s interest was piqued. “I didn’t know you could do that. Is it hard to learn?”

“Some of the basic balloon animals are fairly easy, but a few of them are pretty difficult to make.” Andrew shoveled a heaping spoonful of fruit salad onto his plate. “The hardest part of making balloon animals is blowing ’em up.”

“Does it take a lot of air?”

“Sure does, which is why I usually use the hand pump when I’ve got a lot of balloons to blow up.”

“Making balloon animals sounds like fun,” Freeman said as Andrew passed him the salad bowl.

“It is, and so are balloons I make look like flowers. The beagle on a bike is my favorite one, though.”

“Beagle on a bike, huh? Now that sounds like the kind of balloon I should to learn to make.”

“I’d be glad to show you sometime,” Andrew offered.

Freeman shrugged. “Guess we’ll have to see how it goes. Between my job at the bike shop and your job at the harness shop in Topeka, neither one of us has a lot of free time.”

“That’s true, but I’ll make the time if you’re interested.”

“I’m definitely interested, so I’ll let you know when we can.” Freeman glanced at the tables where some of the young women sat and caught Eunice looking at him. He smiled and gave her a nod. She returned his smile with one of her own. Her shiny blond hair and vivid blue eyes made her stand out in the crowd. He figured it wouldn’t take her long to find a boyfriend. Next year at this time, she could even be the one getting married.

He looked past the bridal couple and noticed Katie. There wasn’t much food on her plate, and what was there looked like it had hardly been touched.
I wonder if she’s on a diet.

Freeman shook his head. Katie Miller didn’t need to lose any weight. If anything, she needed to gain a few pounds. He had a feeling something was going on with Katie. She’d been acting kind of strange all day. The way she’d run out during the wedding made him wonder if she might be sick.

“Here you go,” Andrew said, handing Freeman a platter of fried chicken.

“Danki.” Freeman forked a piece onto his plate and handed the platter to Wayne. Then he turned his attention back to Katie again. She fidgeted in her chair, and her hand shook as she reached for her glass of water and took a drink.

She’s either sick or nervous about something,
he decided.
The way she’s acting makes me think...

“Here’s some more food to put on your plate.” Andrew handed Freeman a bowl of mashed potatoes and then some gravy and bread filling.

Freeman helped himself and passed the bowls along. As he ate his meal, he kept glancing at Katie. She didn’t look well at all.

The napkin in front of Katie bore nothing but crumbs, and she didn’t even remember eating the roll that had been on her plate. That same panicky feeling she’d had during the wedding was coming over her again. She didn’t want to make a fool of herself by rushing outside, so she reached for her glass of water and took a drink.
I’ll never make it through the rest of the day. Help me, Lord.

She glanced at the smiling newlyweds and wondered how she could make her escape without arousing too much suspicion. Leaning close to Ella, she whispered, “I’m not feeling so well. I think I’d better go home.”

Deep wrinkles formed across Ella’s forehead. “What’s wrong. Are you
grank?
”

Katie’s chin quivered, and her throat felt so clogged she could barely speak. “I ... I’m not sure.”

“Do you want me to see if I can find your folks?”

“No, I can do that. Please explain things to Loraine for me, would you?”

“Sure.” Ella patted Katie’s arm in a motherly fashion. “I hope you feel better soon.”

Katie was on the verge of saying she hoped so, too, when she was hit by a sudden wave of nausea. She covered her mouth, jumped up, and bolted from the room.

Outside, she drew in a couple of deep breaths and was relieved when the nausea finally subsided. Then her head started to pound. Maybe she really was sick. She might be coming down with the flu.

She glanced around the yard and spotted her father standing near the barn talking to Uncle Amos. She hurried over to him and said, “Can you take me home, Dad? I’m not feeling well.”

“Are you grank?” he asked with a look of concern.

She nodded. “I’ve got a
koppweh,
and my stomach’s upset.”

“Maybe it’s one of those sick headaches,” Uncle Amos spoke up. “My fraa gets ’em sometimes when she’s feeling stressed out.”

“Are you feeling stressed?” Dad asked Katie.

She shook her head. “I think I might be coming down with the flu.”

“I’d better take you home then.” Dad motioned to the long line of buggies parked in the field. “You can wait in our buggy while I get your mamm and grossmudder.”

“Why don’t you let them stay awhile? You can take me home and then come back here to enjoy the rest of your day.”

Dad frowned. “Your mamm wouldn’t like the idea of you goin’ home alone if you’re sick.”

“I’m not that sick, and there’s no reason for her to know.”

“You sure about that? I mean, if you think you need—”

“I’ll be fine once I’m home and can lie down awhile.”

“Okay.” Dad started walking toward the horses, and Katie sprinted for their buggy. She could hardly wait to get home.

As they headed down the road, Katie spotted an Amish couple sitting under a gazebo in their front yard. Two small children played nearby. Katie’s heart ached at the sight of them. She longed to have a husband and children of her own.

When Dad turned off the main road and into their driveway, the horse picked up speed and headed straight for the barn. As soon as the buggy came to a stop, Katie hopped out. “I’ll see you later, Dad!”

Her feet churned against the grass as she raced for the house. Flinging the door open, she leaned against the wall and drew in a couple of deep breaths. Her head still hurt, and her stomach hadn’t completely settled, but she felt safer and calmer than she had all day.

The stairs creaked as Katie made her way up to her room. When she opened the door, a blast of warm air hit her full in the face. She hurried to open the window, and when a trickle of air floated into the room, she breathed deeply. She stood there several seconds then flopped onto her bed.

Plumping up the pillow, she closed her eyes and tried to relax. She hoped Loraine wasn’t too upset that she’d skipped out like that. She’d really had no other choice, for if she’d stayed at the table, she might have thrown up or even passed out.

Uninvited tears seeped from under Katie’s lashes. She’d never felt sick enough to run away from a gathering like that, and the fearful thoughts she’d had today made no sense at all.

She opened her eyes and dabbed at the wetness beneath them. She tried to pray, but no words would come. Looking ahead to the future caused Katie’s feelings of anxiety to return. After all, what kind of a future was there for someone like her?