A Daughter's Dream (6 page)

J
acob's face was thunderous. So thunderous, Lilly looked alarmed.

And Rebecca had no idea how to make this whole fiasco of a conversation better.

“Lilly, you owe Miss Kinsinger an apology,” he called out. “Right now.”

Looking pained, Lilly said, “I was just doing that.”

“I heard what you were sayin'. As apologies go, it was a mighty poor one,” he stated as several other men and women passed them on the sidewalk. “Now, try it again.”

When Lilly's eyes watered, Rebecca stepped in. “She doesn't need to try again,” she protested, not wanting to make the awkward situation even worse than it already was. Not only had she brought up a sensitive subject, she'd brought it up without considering Lilly's privacy. She should have known better. “I overstepped myself.”

“I doubt that. From what I overheard, you were only trying to be nice,” Jacob said as he drew to a stop in front of both of them. “Apologize now, Lilly.”

Frustration flashed in her eyes, but she dutifully did as he asked. “Like I said, I'm sorry.”

Rebecca attempted to smile. “That's okay.”

Jacob shook his head. “Not hardly. Lilly, your father raised you better than this. And don't you start telling me how he ain't around. Believe me, I know he's gone.”

Oh, but this was terrible! Why hadn't she just left this girl alone? “Please, Jacob. I would really like to drop this conversation.”

“She owes you better manners, Rebecca. Her parents raised her better than this, and her grandparents and I expect better of her, too. Being sad and angry at the world is no reason to be mean to everyone else.”

Rebecca knew he had a point. But she also knew that she could have handled the teenager better. “Lilly, you don't owe me anything. I'll see you next week when I volunteer again.”

After a long moment, Lilly nodded. “Okay,” she whispered at last. Then she raised her chin to meet her uncle's gaze. “Oncle Jacob, I was going to go to the market to get Mommi's apples.”

Visibly regaining his composure, Jacob nodded. “That sounds like a good idea.” His voice far more quiet and patient now, he patted her shoulder. “Go on then. I'll catch up with you and wait for you outside the market, then we can walk to the farm together.”

Without answering, Lilly strode down the street toward the store.

When he and Rebecca were alone, Jacob sighed. “I am sorry for the way she spoke to you. There is no excuse.”

“Oh, I think there might be,” she replied. “Jacob, I meant
what I said. I approached Lilly uninvited, started walking by her side even though I knew I was making her uncomfortable, and then proceeded to badger her with questions without even asking if she'd mind me talking to her. The poor girl was just trying to walk to the store.”

“I hear what you're saying, but her behavior ain't your fault. Lilly needs to learn that she can't take out her hurt on everyone else.” After a second's pause, he said, “She also needs to remember that she isn't the only person who has lost a loved one recently.”

As she noticed a new thread of pain cross his features, Rebecca realized that she had forgotten that he'd lost a brother. “I am sorry about that.”

“No need to feel sorry for me. I'm okay.”

For the first time since she met him, she realized that he looked vulnerable. It was a bit incongruous; he was tall and well-built. He looked strong and healthy. Capable of tackling any task put in front of him. But maybe he needed a friend as much as his niece did. “If you ever want to talk about things . . .” she began, before turning silent. What was she doing? Offering to counsel him like she had tried to do with Lilly? “Never mind.”

His green eyes sharpened. “Rebecca, what were you going to say?”

He'd gentled his tone. To her embarrassment, she felt herself responding to him in much the same way she had during their first meeting. “Oh, well . . . it was nothing,” she stumbled.

“I'd still like to hear it. Please.”

Please.
That little word, combined with his intent gaze? Well, it was enough to make her flush.

Embarrassed by her reaction, she looked down at her blue
dress and realized that she'd managed to get some chalk smudged on her sleeve. She rubbed at the mark in order to gain a few seconds' time. “I was just gonna say that I am pretty good at listening, if you ever need an ear.”

His gaze warmed.
“Danke.”

“You're welcome.” She smiled . . . and there went her dimple.

Still staring at her intently, he swallowed. “About Lilly. I'll, ah, talk to her more this evening. I'm sure she'll be offering you a better apology soon.”

“Jacob, please don't.” Taking a chance, she said, “Actually, I think her getting upset with me might have done some good.”

“Do you really think so? How?”

“Because she was telling me about herself and how she's feeling. Instead of keeping everything in, she was sharing. That's part of the grieving process.”

He nodded slowly. “Perhaps you are right. Like I said, I've been grieving, myself. However, I hardly ever talk about my brother. It hurts too bad.”

“It's all part of it, I think.” After debating a moment, she decided to share. “Like I was telling Lilly, my father died recently, too. I'm one of four siblings and even though we're all adults, we've been having quite a time recovering from the loss. One of my brothers was really angry, too.”

“I am sorry for your loss, too.”

Taking another chance, she said, “How are you doing in Charm, Jacob? Are you settling in?”

He dropped his head, looking down at his work boots, which were coated with mud. After he took a moment, he looked up at her again. “Truth be told, I think I'm doing about as badly as my niece.”

Her heart went out to him.

“I'm so sorry,” she said. “Why are things going so badly? I thought you were living with your parents.”

“I am.” He glanced around, looking as if he wanted to speak precisely. “I love my parents and I get along with them fine.” He paused. “Well, as well as any grown man would who hasn't lived in the same house as his parents for years.”

She smiled. “I bet that has been an adjustment.”

“You have no idea,” he said with a smirk. “But unlike the rest of the family, I have no experience farming or of living outside Florida. My parents were raised here, moved to Pinecraft when my brother and I were mere babes, then moved back soon after Lilly was born. For the first five years they were here, Marc worked the farm by my father's side. Then, when Lilly got old enough for school, they moved to Annie's parents' farm over in Berlin.”

She was finally beginning to understand his past. “So that is why Lilly is comfortable with farming but new to Charm.”

“
Jah
. When Marc and Anne died, Lilly was kind of left in a bad spot. Anne's parents are about ten years older than mine. They didn't want to raise a thirteen-year-old.”

“Which is why you came here.”

He nodded. “Don't get me wrong, Rebecca. I want to be here. I want to raise Lilly. I love her. I want to help my parents, too. But I'm currently an exceptionally poor farmer and an even poorer substitute father.” Looking just beyond her, he muttered, “I thought it would be easier.”

She couldn't help but smile. His honesty was refreshing. “I am sorry about that.”

He looked surprised at her expression. “What did I say that was amusing?”

“Nothing. I just couldn't help but compare your situation to mine. I'm trying to be a teacher but I'm not very good at it. Most of the time when I'm there, I watch the clock and look forward to when I can leave,” she commented as they started to walk.

“Uh-oh.” He grinned, and some of that same admiration she saw earlier in his eyes appeared again.

She wasn't the only person feeling that attraction between them.

She hoped she wasn't blushing again. “Uh-oh is right. Basically, I keep wondering why I am even trying.”

“Lilly said you've been there a lot.”

Rebecca wondered how he knew about that. Was Lilly sharing more or had Jacob been asking about her? “I have. I just wish my time there was easier.”

“If it's so hard and it's making you so uncomfortable, why are you doing it? I mean, do you ever wonder why you are trying to do something over and over that you can't seem to figure out?”

“All the time. But there's something inside me that is afraid to give up. Teaching has been a dream of mine for years. I've always pushed it aside and put my family and the lumber mill first. I don't want to look back on this time in my life and wonder if I should have tried harder.”

“I'm doing the same thing. I don't want to give up.”

“Are your parents helping you?”

“Yep. They say I'm being too hard on myself. They say that farming is as much about luck as it is about experience.”

“I'm fortunate in the fact that I have an understanding older brother. Lukas is now a big believer in following one's heart. He understands that each day is a gift.”

“Now?” He glanced her way. “Is that because of the mill accident?”

“Maybe. It might also be that he and Darla Kurtz recently got married. They had quite a few obstacles between them but they followed their hearts instead of letting their fears guide them.”

He chuckled. “Even I have heard about their sudden romance. He proposed at the post office, didn't he?”

She grinned. “Indeed, he did. Rumor has it that he locked the door and wouldn't let her leave until she said yes.”

“That's just a rumor, is it?”

“That's what some say,” she teased. With some surprise, she realized that they were standing right in front of the lumber mill's entrance. “It looks like you walked me all the way to work. Thank you.”

“Don't thank me. Our conversation helped me a lot. Thanks for listening to me whine.”

“I've done my share of whining from time to time and can promise you that you were not whining. There's nothing wrong with being honest.”

“I guess not. Well, I'll let you get to work. You put in some long days.”

“I do, but it's worth it. I want to spend time at Charm Amish School and follow my dream, if only for a little while.”

Jacob glanced toward the store. Through the big plate-glass windows across the street, he could see that Lilly was at the checkout counter. “It looks like Lilly found my
mamm's
apples without a problem. I'll be seeing you soon.”

“Yes. And don't worry. People tell me farming is a grueling job, even for the most experienced farmer.”

“Thanks for that,” he said with a sarcastic smile.

He had just turned to leave when the door to the mill opened and Lukas came out. “Jacob, wait,” Rebecca called. When he turned, she held out a hand toward her brother. “This is Lukas. Lukas, this is Jacob Yoder. He just moved here from Florida.”

Lukas held out his hand. “Good to meet you. What brought you to Charm?”

“My brother recently passed on to Heaven. I'm currently attempting to farm my family's land.”

Lukas's brows rose. “Sounds like there's a story there. Are the farming methods in Ohio much different from down in Florida?”

He grimaced. “Let's just say that I'm not too good at farming in either state. I worked in construction in Sarasota.”

Lukas smiled. “I've often been glad that God decided that I was born into a lumber mill family and not a farming one. If you ever decide that farming ain't for you, let me know. We hire a lot of construction workers.”

“Danke.”

After they said good-bye again, Rebecca smiled. “Thanks for saying that.”

“You're welcome, but I don't know what I did.”

“Saying Jacob could come to you for a job if he needed one.”

“I meant what I said. Construction workers are a natural fit for the mill. They are used to working with the materials and have a lot of knowledge about what works and doesn't.” He frowned. “I hope he didn't take my offer as a sign that I didn't think he should farm, though.”

She shook her head. “I think he was relieved to know that he had options. I'll tell you his story later, but suffice it to say that he's got his hands full.”

Looking at her fondly, he nodded. “I think we all do.” Stuffing his hands in his pockets, he said, “I'm going to head on out of here.”

“You're going home?”

“Nope. I'm actually off to the Kurtz farm. Darla spent most of the day over there with Aaron and Patsy trying to get a handle on things.”

“Has anything new happened?” Rebecca knew that Darla's siblings weighed heavy on her mind. Shortly after their father died in the fire at the mill, several people in town had laid all the blame on his shoulders.

Darla ended up working at the post office, in an attempt to stay so busy she had no time to dwell on her pain. Her brother Aaron had let his temper get the best of him. He was currently getting counseling from one of the preachers and concentrating on making amends.

On top of all that, their mother had abandoned them. Her grief, combined with the verbal abuse from people like Mary Troyer, had gotten to be too much for her, and she had simply taken off. She'd left a note saying that she needed a break from all of the demands of her life.

Of course, her abandonment had hit all the Kurtz siblings hard, most especially the youngest girls, Maisie and Gretel. Darla was trying her best. It was only because of Patsy's and Aaron's insistence that they wanted her to be happy that she'd agreed to marry Lukas recently.

“Nothing new has happened. It's just a lot for everyone to deal with,” Lukas said.

“How's Aaron doing? Has he been able to work on his temper? Is he getting along with Hope?”