A Daughter's Dream (8 page)

Now he was really confused. “Why does Lilly need help if she's doing so good?”

“Because my job as a teacher is to take her from one place and help guide her toward another.” She sighed. “I love teaching in a one-room schoolhouse. But in some cases, like with Lilly's, I fear that I am not able to do enough.” Looking determined, she said, “Her success is important to me. I want her to feel secure and happy.”

He wanted those same things. “What do you want to do?”

She bit her lip. “I wanted to talk to you in the hopes that you would, perhaps, allow me to contact some Englishers to tutor her in other subjects.”

“Like who? I don't know how to even go about such things.” And was that even a good idea? Was that what his brother would have wanted for Lilly? Maybe Marc had never wanted Lilly to be challenged.

“I thought I'd ask at the high school. Sometimes older students will tutor younger kids. Or you could also hire an Englisher tutor. Someone who has had more schooling than me.”

Jacob was at a loss for words. As far as he could tell, Lilly's dream was to simply be done with school. But was that because she didn't like learning? Or was it that she'd just become bored.

Then, there were her grandparents. They were traditional people. What would they say about Lilly's need for more schooling? Would they fuss at him? Or, worse, at her? That would be devastating for her.

Rachel didn't look surprised about his sudden silence. “I know this is a lot to take in. That is one of the reasons why I wanted to talk to you right now. Take some time and think about what you and Lilly want to do. Talk to her about all this. She might have some ideas.”

“Do you think she even realizes how smart she is?”

“I imagine so. But that doesn't mean she's completely comfortable with it, or thinks it is a good thing. She might simply be used to understanding things quickly and feels like she is supposed to wait until everyone catches up.”

Jacob thought that would be a terrible way to go through each day. “I hope that's not what is happening.”

“Me, too.” Standing up, she brushed off her dress, then reached out to balance herself against the table.

“Are you all right?”

“Oh, for sure. I just got a little dizzy standing up too quickly.” Once some of the color returned to her cheeks, she started walking back to the schoolhouse. “Why don't you send me a note when you're ready to make some plans? While you're doing that, I'll investigate some more options.”

“You don't mind?”

“It's not only my job, it's my pleasure! Lilly's gifts are a wonderful challenge for me. I'm looking forward to helping her as much as possible.”

“
Danke
. Thanks for caring.”

“You're welcome, Jacob.” As a roar floated out through the front door, she grimaced. “I think I had better get inside.”

“
Jah
. It looks like our bulldog might need some help.”

She grinned. “You said that, not me!”

That same day

W
hen Mrs. Mast came back into the classroom, Lilly felt almost every eye in the room on her. She slumped down farther in her chair.
Great
. Now all the kids thought she was in trouble, too. It made sense. Why else would her uncle Jake be asked to come in to talk with Mrs. Mast during class?

But that said, for the life of her, she couldn't think of anything she'd done wrong.

Still pretending to read her book, Lilly eyed Mrs. Mast. After stopping to talk to some of the youngest members of the class, she chatted with Miss Kinsinger.

Then her teacher eyed Lilly in a thoughtful way.

After meeting her gaze, Lilly peered back at the open page in her lap. What had she done?

“Scholars, while Miss Kinsinger is here, I'm going to be visit
ing with each of you individually. When I call your name, bring me your homework.”

The room erupted in a flurry of paper shuffling as the rest of the class attempted to get all of their things in order. Lilly pretended to organize her papers as well, though she'd done all her homework yesterday before she left.

“Anson, bring me your work, please.”

“Oh, man,” Anson groaned under his breath as he shuffled forward. Anson was eight and seemed like he'd rather be hunting for frogs than concentrating on what he was supposed to be doing. Lilly hid a smile. She didn't blame the freckle-faced, towheaded boy one bit. Frogs were far more interesting than spelling lists.

“Hey, Lilly,” Katie whispered from her right.

“Jah?”

“What did your uncle want to talk to Mrs. Mast about?”

“I'm not sure. It wasn't his idea to come up here. She sent for him.”

“She did? Oh, no! What did you do?”

After glancing to make sure that both adults in the room were otherwise occupied, she shrugged. “I don't know.”

“Huh.”

“
Jah
. I wish Mrs. Mast would just come out and tell me,” Lilly said as Anson walked back to his chair.

After smirking at Anson, Katie leaned close again. “You just started at this school. Mrs. Mast always gives everybody second and third chances when they mess up. At least she does whenever I do something wrong. I bet it ain't nothing bad.”

“I hope not,” Lilly confided. But then again, she figured if Mrs. Mast had been happy with Lilly, she would have simply
come out and told her. In her experience, only bad news was kept secret.

“Lilly, bring me your homework,” Mrs. Mast called out.

The lump in her throat just got bigger. “
Jah
, Mrs. Mast.” After gathering her assignments together quickly, she strode forward. She really hoped the whole class couldn't tell that her face was bright red.

When she got to Mrs. Mast's desk, Lilly carefully set her papers on the empty space in front of her teacher. “Here you go.”

Mrs. Mast picked them up. When she said nothing more, Lilly turned to leave. “
Nee
, stay here, please.”

Feeling even more ill at ease, Lilly stood silently and watched Mrs. Mast scan one paper after another.

All too soon, Mrs. Mast set the papers down with a sigh. Then she looked at Lilly in a direct way. “How long did these assignments take you last night?”

“Oh, well . . .” She allowed her voice to drift off. Because, of course, she hadn't actually done any of those papers the night before. She didn't want to lie, but she didn't want an honest answer to get her into further trouble.

Her teacher continued to stare intently. Then she cleared her throat. “That wasn't a difficult question to answer, Lilly. How long did this homework take you?”

There was no way she could lie to Mrs. Mast now. “I . . . Well, I didn't actually do any of that work last night.”

“Oh? When did you do it?”

“Yesterday before the end of school.”

“I see.”

“I wasn't sneaking around,” she added in a rush. “I just . . . Well, I had some time.”

After searching her face again, Mrs. Mast said, “You finished your classwork early. Didn't you?”

Feeling miserable, Lilly nodded.

“And this happens a lot, doesn't it?”

“
Jah
. I'm sorry.”

But instead of looking angry, Mrs. Mast looked kind of amused. “There's nothing to apologize for, Lilly. I've noticed that you are a hard worker, but that you seem to have a difficult time working hard in this classroom.”

“I wouldn't say that. I'm doing okay.”

“Well, let's be honest. The fact is that my assignments are too easy for you. You are not getting enough work to challenge your mind. That's not good.”

To admit that she found the work too easy seemed like she was bragging. “It's not just your class. It's always been that way.”

“I thought that might be the case. That's why I gave your old teacher a call. She said you were her star pupil, too.”

“Really?” Miss Wallace had never acted like she was a star. Instead, she'd always seemed a bit put out with her.

“Really. That's why I asked your uncle to come in this morning to talk to me, Lilly. I think we need to work out a new plan for you.”

“What kind of plan?”

“A plan where you are challenged more. There's no reason for you to be doing sixth-grade math when you should be doing eighth-grade or high school studies. I'm going to make up some assignments just for you.”

“How?”

Mrs. Mast leaned back. After glaring at two of the older boys who were whispering to each other, she said, “I'm not
exactly sure, to be honest. There are some personal things I need to take care of in addition to schoolwork, so I need to think about this for a little bit. But don't worry, Lilly. We're going to make this classroom the right fit for you. I want you happy here.”

Lilly's eyes teared up. It was something little, but it meant so much. Maybe, just maybe, she was going to finally fit in at school. And if that happened, she might have something good to grab ahold of.

If she couldn't have her parents anymore, she had to have something to hold on to.

Immediately, Mrs. Mast looked distressed. “I'm so sorry, dear. You've been through so much and now I'm giving you even more to think about. I had hoped this would alleviate some worries, but I'm guessing it's also a lot to take in.”

“I'm fine.”

Still studying her carefully, she lowered her voice. “You're not fine. You know what? Why don't you step outside and take a moment.”

“I don't want to go out there by myself.” Could there be anything worse than having the whole class know that she needed to take a break first thing in the morning?

“I'll go out there with her,” Peter volunteered.

Both Mrs. Mast and Lilly started. “Peter,” Mrs. Mast said, “I didn't see you standing there.”

His attention still focused on Lilly, he shrugged. “I saw she was upset.”

Mrs. Mast looked at him carefully. “Did you do your homework last night?”

“Jah.”

“Set it on my desk, then please take Lilly outside for ten minutes.”

Lilly looked at her teacher in surprise.

Mrs. Mast shrugged. “I've got a soft spot for that boy. He's my nephew. And he's almost done with school. He would be a good friend to you, Lilly.”

For some reason, those words of kindness made her tear up all over again. “
Danke
, Mrs. Mast,” she said.

Just then, Peter set a pile of papers on his aunt's desk, then smiled Lilly's way. “Come on,” he said.

As she followed Peter down the aisle between the desks and out the door, she tried not to catch anyone's eye. It was bad enough that she could feel everyone's attention on the two of them. She was certain that as soon as she got back to the room, Katie was going to ask her a hundred questions.

Once they were outside, she breathed a sigh of relief. “
Danke
, Peter. I really needed to get out of there.”

“No need to thank me. I'm always looking for a way to get out of class.” Glancing around, he said, “Come on.”

She followed him down the school's front steps, past the picnic tables, and finally to the swings. “You want to swing?” she asked.

“Not particularly. But I don't want to sit in front of the windows. Every person inside will watch us.”

“I guess you have a point.” She sat down and curled her hands around the chain holding up the swing. “I can't believe Mrs. Mast let us leave for a few minutes. My old teacher would've never let me do this.”

“I'm not all that surprised. My aunt Rachel is really nice. And besides, you looked pretty upset.”

“I guess I was.”

“Want to talk about it? Was it why your uncle had to come up to school today?”

“
Jah
. Mrs. Mast—I mean your aunt—”

“You can call her Mrs. Mast. I do when I'm here.”

“Well, anyway. She . . . Well, she noticed that I am having an easy time in school.”

“Nee.”
He smiled. “She noticed that you're really, really smart.”

“Jah.”
She kept her gaze straight ahead. “I don't know why book learning is so easy for me. It just is.”

“If I tell you something, will you promise not to get mad?”

“Peter, you've been walking me home for weeks and you just rescued me from bursting into tears in front of the entire class. I won't get mad.”

“Aunt Rachel talks about you to my parents.”

“What does she say?”

“She thinks you're special.”

“I'm not that,” she protested quickly. She did not want anyone feeling sorry for her because her parents died. And she really didn't want anyone noticing that schoolwork came easy for her. She just wanted to fit in.

“Lilly, don't get all upset,” he cajoled. “Please, just listen to me. She says that when the Lord gives a person a brain like yours, it needs to be nurtured. She is really excited about helping you.”

Her eyes filled up with tears again.

He noticed. Hopping off his swing, he grabbed ahold of one of her chains, keeping her in place. “Hey. What just happened?”

“My last teacher never made me feel good. She always acted like I was bragging or something.”

Peter's eyebrows rose. “She shouldn't have made you feel bad because God made you smart.”

“I don't know about that.”

“All right. How about you shouldn't feel bad because you're smarter than the rest of us?”

She still didn't like how that made her sound. “I'm only book smart. You are smart in a lot of other ways. You even have a
gut
job. That's pretty special.”

For the first time since she'd met him, Peter looked unsure. “I don't think so.”

“I do.” Taking a fortifying breath, she said, “I can't believe how different everything is here in Charm. Even my parents never really understood how I've felt about school. They loved me, of course. But they didn't want me to do anything different. I started hiding the things that I was working on. Your aunt and even my uncle Jake—and now you . . . well, all of you make me feel like I don't have to be ashamed.”

“You don't have anything to be ashamed about, Lilly. There's nothing wrong with you.”

She smiled at him. “
Danke
. I hope you don't think I'm complaining.” She stopped abruptly. She was though, wasn't she?

Peter shook his head. Somehow, even while shaking his head he looked confident and self-assured. “Stop worrying so much. Everything that's happening is good.”

“You're so confident. I wish I was that confident.”

“Then stick with me,” he said with a laugh. “You'll get the hang of it.”

“Sure I will,” she muttered, taking care to make sure he heard the sarcasm in her voice. She and he both knew she'd never be as self-assured as he was.

Still grinning, he said, “All right. If you don't think you can ever be as confident as me, then trust me instead. I think it's great.”

She smiled softly. “Thanks for being my friend.”

“I'm glad I'm your friend. I promise.”

“Lilly? Peter?” Miss Kinsinger called out. “It's time to come in now.”

“Right here!” Peter yelled. “We better get inside.”

He waited until she hopped off the swing, then walked beside her all the way back. And when they got to their seats and everyone was staring at them, Peter glared at them all so they'd stop. His behavior wasn't very nice, but Lilly secretly liked that he was trying to protect her. She liked it a lot. Ever since her parents died she'd felt more than a little alone. As if everyone around her was in charge and she'd had no choice but to follow along.

Today had felt different, though. She felt older. More assured. And maybe, just maybe, like she was going to one day be okay.