A Different Shade of Violet? (12 page)

“Fuuuuuuck,” I yell out as my arse collides with the hard ground and my hands skid along the gravelly surface. I bring my hands up to look at them and they’re scuffed and slightly bleeding. I feel a trail of warmth running down my face so I swipe at it with the back of my hand and see a smear of blood across the back of my hand.

“Great, just fucking great,” I murmur under my breath.

“Jesus Vee,” Hudson says from behind me as he pushes through the scrub.

I send him a death glare, but he rolls his eyes and squats down next to me.

“Just go away,” I say, turning my head away while trying to stand up. He takes hold of my arm and pulls me upright. I brush down the dirt from my pajamas while he takes his shirt off and scrunches it into a ball. My breath catches as the sight of his stomach, but the daydream I entered into is soon broken when he places his shirt on my forehead and pain rips through my head.

“Ouch, fuck,” I yell.

He shakes his head and with his free hand takes one of mine and brings it up to assess.

“C’mon, let's get you back inside and I’ll clean up these wounds,” he states and I take a step back forcing his contact with my head to fall away from me.

“I’m not going anywhere with you,” I demand.

He exhales and closes his eyes like he’s trying to regain his composure. He opens his eyes and looks right at me while I continue to brush leaves and crap from my body.

“Vee, I don’t think you’re trash. You put words in my mouth. I think you’re the most beautiful, amazing, brave and strong woman I’ve ever met. And just because our jobs stop us from being together doesn’t mean I don’t want it. I want to be with you, Vee. I do. But just because you want something doesn’t make it right. I love you. I think a part of me will always love you and I definitely don’t think you’re trash or worthless or disgusting. Please don’t think that. Just come back inside and let me help you.” I fold my arms over my chest in defiance. “Vee c’mon, you’re already cut and bruised. Let me tend to your new cuts so they don’t get infected. Stop thinking the worst of me and let me make it up to you.”

“I just think we should keep away from each other from now on,” I say, and even though a part of me means it, most of me doesn’t.

“Right, you always we’re a stubborn thing,” he replies and then walks over, leans down picking me up and cradling me to his chest. I squeal and he smiles.

“Hudson stop! Put me down,” I say not meaning it at all.

“Violet Dyson, stop being ridiculous. I’m going to help you whether you want it or not, and we’re not going to avoid each other just because it will be easier. I know you’re angry. I get that. I know I hurt you, I get that too. But I’m here to protect you and nothing’s going to stop me from doing that. Even your vulgar temper tantrums,” he says, but with a smile.

I grunt as he starts walking us back toward the cabin.

“I do not have tantrums,” I murmur.

He chuckles and shakes his head. “Sure thing little firecracker.”

My heart constricts and then implodes on itself. I love when he calls me that and I can’t help my body’s reaction as I nuzzle into his chest and wrap my arms around his neck. In a way, I knew he wasn’t calling me trash. I’m just projecting how I feel about myself.
I don’t know why I went off on him like that?
I think I’m just so confused and my head’s a mess about this whole fucked up situation that I can’t seem to control my emotions.

He walks us back out of the clearing and toward the cabin. He strides up the steps and inside with ease. He really is super strong and I can’t help myself as I run my sore hand up his chest. He walks me in and sits me down on the sofa.

“Right, now let’s have a look at you.” He takes my hands in his, turning them palm up so he can look at my cuts and grazes. He shakes his head and walks over to a cabinet and pulls out a first aid box.

“Well, first things first, I better fix up the cut on your forehead. It nearly got your eyebrow, lucky or it would have opened up the stitches.”

Suddenly the pain in my body becomes an agonising reality. Every inch of me is hurting again, even the damn soles of my feet.

I bring my foot up to have a look and there are cuts on it too. I huff and groan slightly as Hudson walks back over placing the first aid kit on the sofa next to me.

“See what a tantrum will get you?”

“Yeah, sore feet,” I say and show him my souls of my feet.

He shakes his head and squats down in front of me pulling out some alcohol wipes and gauze.

“I’m sorry I made you go off like that. It was never my intention, Violet.”

“I know, I’m sorry I overreacted. My emotions are all over the place. I’m not sure I’m coping with this very well,” I admit and he nods and caresses my knee with his hand.

“It’s okay, I get it. Now this may sting a little,” he tells me and then wipes an alcohol swab over the cut on my forehead. I flinch and wince away from him as the liquid feels like acid against my skin.

“Sorry,” he says while he pays attention to my cut.

“It’s my own stupid fault.” He looks into my eyes and half-smiles in sympathy. “So distract me, tell me how Brigitte is going?” I ask while I grit my teeth as he swabs at my cut again.

“She’s doing great. She misses you though, and she keeps asking when she will see you again. I don’t have the heart to tell her we broke up. She says she needs a girl to talk to who isn’t Mum,” he replies and instantly I regret asking the question. I miss Brigitte. She’s such an adorable little sweetheart and to think she misses me like I do her, only breaks my heart further.

“Yeah… what about Midas? Is he doing okay? I didn’t really pay him too much attention when I showed up at your house.”

“He’s good, he misses you too. I find him in the closet sometimes sniffing your clothes. He was so excited when you showed up, he didn’t leave your side all night, even though you were passed out,” he says while pulling out some butterfly stitches and placing them very gently on my forehead.

“I feel bad I didn’t pay him more attention. I’ve missed his cute little face,” I admit and Hudson then pulls out another alcohol swab and starts to clean my hands.

I love the feeling of his skin on mine and it’s igniting a fire within me. I can feel myself wanting him even though I know it won’t happen, especially after my tantrum. He probably thinks I’m a nutcase now. I can’t help but feel a little sad for the family I’ve lost by losing Hudson. Brige, Holden, Flynn and his parents. Even though I only met them once, they all made me feel something I hadn’t felt in years… and that was the joy of family. I guess I’ll never have that again.

“Don’t worry, when all of this is sorted you can come and say a proper goodbye to Midas.”

My heart thuds hard at the thought of saying a final goodbye to Midas and I guess in reality Hudson as well. I hadn’t even thought of the fact that when all this is sorted I will probably never see him again, and that thought right now is more painful that the alcohol swabs on my cuts.

“Will you keep spider?” I ask, barely in a whisper.

He looks into my eyes and I see his mist up a little, just like mine are. My bottom lip trembles as I wait for his answer while he looks deeply into my eyes. That surge is there again and I can feel the hair on my arms waving with the pulsations of the current between us. I start to breathe a little quicker and I notice he’s doing the same. We stare at each other and I get lost in his multi-coloured eyes, the green and blue that I love so much. He swallows and slowly nods his head breaking our trance.

“Always.”

My lip trembles again and I have to bite it to stop myself from crying. I lean forward and wrap my arms around his neck in a tight embrace. He leans into me and hugs me back and I feel a peace wash over us. Like even though we know this is our last few days together, we will always have a place for the other in our hearts. And that’s where Hudson will stay forever – entrenched firmly in my heart.

I stayed on the sofa after Hudson tended to my fresh wounds and made new bandages replacing the old ones. I really do look a mess right now. I have bandages and cuts and bruises everywhere. No wonder he won’t look at me like he used to. I guess, even though, there’s no hope for us, he still doesn’t like seeing me all banged up and in pain.

He’s in the kitchen with a plain clothed cop who’s delivering some supplies. Thank God, because I really need some real coffee and something to nibble on. All I’ve had since we got here is half a bowl of spaghetti and a couple of pieces of bacon. So, even though, my appetite fluctuates, it will still be nice to have something I can snack on during the day or at night.

I’m not really listening to the conversation between Hudson and his colleague. I tuned out after I heard that the Dogs had been seen circling Cupditas. But luckily they recognise the plain clothed cops out the front and they haven’t stepped foot near the premises or my workers… which is a huge relief. I don’t really want to hear anything more about the Dogs. They scare me and the thought of them finding out where Hudson and I are located terrifies me. Not because I think they will hurt me… no, I’m fairly certain that because I’ve gone to the cops that I’ll be done for. I don’t care about that, but what I do care about is Hudson and if anything happens to him because of me, I could never live with that!

I bring my legs up onto the sofa and cuddle into myself as I gaze at the television not paying attention to anything around me. I zone out and I’m not really thinking about anything, just staring at the television blankly. A hand grazes my shoulder and I flinch and turn around quickly to see Hudson standing watching me intensely.

“Hey sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you. Are you okay? You seem a little out of it?” he asks as I look over to the kitchen and notice that the plain clothed cop has gone.

I nod and fake a smile. “I’m fine! Just think I’m a bit spaced out from the pain killers is all.”

He nods and walks around the front of the sofa and squats down in front of me.

“You hungry?” he asks and I nod.

He smiles and pats my knee. “Okay, now we have a vast array of food. Is there anything you feel like for lunch?” he asks standing up and walking through to the kitchen.

“No, I’m fine with anything. Do you need a hand?”

“No, it’s all good. I think you need to relax after your big morning. I can see you’re in a bit of pain so don’t lift a muscle. Relax on the sofa and I’ll bring you your lunch when it’s ready, okay?”

I nod and turn back around and shuffle down so I’m laying down on the sofa. I didn’t realise how utterly exhausted I am. I suppose spending so much energy running away from Hudson this morning has used up any reserves I had.

Guess, I’m not healing as fast as I thought I was!

I wake up to the sound of a plate being placed on the coffee table. My eyes flutter open and I find a plate of sandwiches in front of me.

“Shit sorry, I was trying not to wake you.”

I blink a few times to get my bearings and then move to sit up. “No, it’s okay. I was only napping. I didn't realise how exhausted I am,” I say while rubbing my eyes with my hands.

“Hey, I know how emotionally draining this must be for you, that plus your body is healing from the assault. It’s totally fine if you fall asleep. You’re here to relax and to let me protect and take care of you. So let me do that and you just rest.”

“Okay, but at least let me come and eat lunch with you at the table?”

“Whatever you want to do, Vee,” he says taking my hand and helping me up from the sofa. I pick up my plate and we walk over to the kitchen table and take a seat.

“So what’s happening? Is Denzel getting anything on the Dogs?” I ask and Hudson raises an eyebrow at me in confusion.

“Denzel?” he asks.

I shake my head and chuckle at myself, I forgot that even though I nickname people it doesn’t mean that others know the nicknames I’ve assigned them. “Sorry, Chief Thomas,” I reply and Hudson laughs a belly laugh, which only makes me smile. It’s so nice to hear him really laugh.

“Holy crap, I knew he reminded me of someone and I could never figure out who it was!”

I shrug and smile. “As soon as I saw him I knew he looked like Denzel, and you know what I’m like with nicknames don’t you, Rock?”

“I certainly do, TVW.” His eyes are shining so bright I can see the flecks of gold in his green and the flecks of grey in his blue eyes. It takes my breath away every time. My mouth parts slightly and I lick my lips inadvertently. I want to kiss him so badly, but I know that would be a terrible idea, even though his lips are looking utterly delectable right there in front of me.

“You okay?” Hudson asks breaking my adoring gaze.

“Yeah sorry, must be the painkillers still wreaking havoc in my brain.”

“Well, the cop who was here before filled me in a little on what’s been happening. Seems they’re still trying to find a way of bringing Mad Dog in for questioning, but they say with your testimony they should be able to bring him in soon. I think they’re trying to find a peaceful way of doing it, and making sure they get it right so the charges stick. They need to treat the situation delicately or it could end up with more bloodshed and no one wants that. But don’t worry, every one of your employees is completely safe and accounted for. None of them have even been in contact with any Dog members, so that’s a good thing,” Hudson says and I nod.

“Did they say anything about whether Mad Dog is looking for me?” I ask and Hudson frowns.

“I think that’s a given. He knows you’ve talked to us by now and the guards outside of Cupiditas gives that away also. That’s why it’s so important for you to be here because it’s not safe for you out there right now,” he says very quietly.

I nod and exhale.

“Hey, it’s okay he won’t find you here. I promise,” he says trying to reassure me unsuccessfully.

“Can I ask you a question? It’s been bugging me for ages…” I ask and he furrows his brows and nods.

“Yeah, go on.”

“Okay, so when I went snooping around your house the first night I stayed at your place.” He shakes his head and rolls his eyes. “Well, you know how I found that vest that belonged to the Rebel Dogs? Aren’t bikers really weird about those vests? Like no one is allowed to have one except for the members?”

Hudson winces and closes his eyes like he’s in real pain. He runs his fingers through his hair and exhales loudly.

“Sorry, I ah—”

“No, it’s okay, I’m fine, it just hurts still,” he says confusing me.

“What hurts?”

He looks at me and rubs the back of his neck. “I was just a cop getting ready to become a detective. My best mate Adam and I weren’t partners in the force, but he was my best friend. We grew up together and lived next door to each other when I was a kid. All through school we were both adamant we were going to become a policeman and bring down the bad guys together.”

I swallow hard as he looks down at the half-eaten sandwich in front of him.

“Well, him and his partner Doug went undercover. It was going to be the last job he’d done before he was promoted out of field work and into the office. His wife just gave birth to his third kid and he was ready to give up his dangerous undercover work. His last assignment was to bring down the Dogs from the inside. He was on track. They had made him and Doug members of the Dogs. They went through initiation and we were receiving amazing intel from them, but every time something was about to go down that we could finally bring them in for, something would happen. The location of the meet was changed and they would never show up. We should’ve known each time that happened that they were onto Doug and Adam. We should have seen the warning signs. Adam was so close, he was getting too involved and the lines were blurring for him. The Dogs treat their members like brothers and Adam was growing to love them, even though they are the lowest of the low. Nothing is off limits to them as you know. Some bikers won’t hurt woman or children, but the Dogs, well they don’t give a shit who you are, if you wrong them you’ll pay.”

I can see where this is headed and by the pained stare in Hudson’s eyes I can tell it’s not going to be a happy ending.

“Anyway, the Dogs were finally going to go down. We had a meet in place for some drug trafficking and gun muling. They were in the shit big time and we were all there waiting, hiding in the shadows and, of course, the meet time came and went and they never showed. I received a text from a burner phone. They must have known how close to this I was and how Adam was like another brother to me.”

He closes his eyes like he’s reliving a painful memory. I watch his face as his bottom lip trembles and he swallows hard and frowns then he reopens his eyes.

“It’s okay if you don’t want to continue, I understand. I’m sorry for bringing it up,” I whisper barely able to talk.

He looks up at me with tears in his eyes and shakes his head. “No, it’s okay, you deserve to know,” he says and I lean across and take his hand in mine for support. He half-smiles at me and entwines our fingers. That spark is there, but this moment is a sad memory for him, so I let the spark fizzle out and lean forward ready to let him finish the story.

“The text was simple, three little words that I never thought would haunt me so much…” he pauses and takes a breath preparing himself.

I grip his hand tighter for support. I’m glad he’s opening up to me, but I hate seeing him so desperately upset.

“
Check the shed.
Those are the three words that I wish I could erase from my memory. But they’re engrained in there so tightly that I can never shake them. I dream about it… I showed the message to the chief and we sent a bomb squad in first just to make sure it wasn’t a trap. There were no bombs, no drugs, no guns, nothing except for two wooden rectangular boxes with flowers on top. I’ll never forget the sight. We knew instantly we weren’t going to like what was inside. A fellow officer took the lid off one box and we all gasped as we saw Doug’s head in the box and the rest of his body in parts. My heart sank to the floor. There was another box and I knew, I just knew at that moment that Adam… my friend, my brother, was the other body. I rushed to the box, pulled off the flowers and opened the lid to see Adam, in pieces…” he pauses and my hand rushes to my mouth to cover a gasp. I’ve never seen Hudson look the way he does right now. He’s pale and sweating and his eyes are glassy and vacant.

“I’m so sorry,” I whisper.

His eyes find mine and I notice a tear fall down his cheek. I bite my bottom lip to stop it from trembling and I bring my free hand up to wipe away his tear.

“I’ll never forget that image. Sure, I’d seen dead bodies before. I’m a cop, it happens, but when it’s someone you’ve known for twenty-five years of your life… I don’t think I’ve ever gotten over it, or will I ever…” he drifts off.

I sniff and shake my head in disbelief. I had no idea Hudson had suffered a loss like this. It just goes to show that even though you think you know someone, we all have our demons.

“When it came time for the funerals everyone was devastated. Adam’s wife and kids… I can’t get the sight out of my head. They were broken beyond words. After the ceremony, Adam was taken to the family plot and as we walked up to the burial site somehow the Dogs had come in and placed his vest over the coffin before we all got there. We were outraged that they would show up at his funeral and make it all about them. Poor Hannah was beside herself and fell to her knees at the graveside. It was shocking and her three kids didn’t understand what was going on. The twins were three and the baby was coming up to her first birthday. It was lucky her parents were there for support. I’ve been such an arsehole to Hannah and the kids. I should see them more than I do, but it’s just too painful… for all of us.

“Adam and Doug lost their lives at the hands of the Dogs and do you think we could find any evidence that it was them? Even though we knew who slaughtered them, there was nothing we could do. So I took the vest from Adam’s coffin and I kept it as a reminder that one day Mad Dog will pay for murdering two innocent and outstanding officers. Adam meant so much to me and he was so close to having the desk job that he wanted, but it all failed. I wish there was something I could have done. I knew Adam was getting in over his head, and yet I let him walk into the job like it was any other. I had a bad feeling. I knew the Dogs were cut-throat and ruthless, and yet I let him walk into the undercover job without voicing my concerns for him and for his family. I can never forgive myself for that…”