A Face in the Crowd (16 page)

She couldn’t let go or take the leap or have faith. None of the clichés worked for her. Simone insisted it was because she had yet to meet the right guy. She always told Lexie that when the right man came along he wouldn’t let her freeze him out. Lexie wasn’t sure she agreed with Simone on that point, but it was a nice theory. It meant there might be hope for her after all.

She took a deep breath and pushed down on the handle to Bailey’s room. He was chatting with Laura when she walked in, but there was no sign of Oliver. She waited to feel relief at his absence, but she didn’t. Instead, a strange emptiness filled her.

“Okay, here we go,” Laura started the process and while they worked, Lexie remained quiet and did her part, but the peace was short lived.

Halfway through the platelet transfusion, Oliver walked through the door with a large cup of coffee in his hand. Her efforts to avoid any and all eye contact with him were pointless because he barely acknowledged her presence the entire time they were in the same room.

Laura was either oblivious to the tension or she was smart enough not to comment. Either way, Lexie would take it. She knew she needed to apologize, but she didn’t want an audience.

“Okay, guys, I think that will do it. I have to run. Lexie, let me know if you need anything.”

“I will, thanks.” So much for her buffer.

With a wave Laura was gone and suddenly the room felt smaller. As Oliver sat with his ankle resting on his knee, she couldn’t help but brush his leg as she passed. “Sorry.”

“Not a problem.” His voice wasn’t cold exactly, but it wasn’t friendly either. Lexie made a note in Bailey’s file and then, after mentally stomping down her pride, turned to face Oliver. “Could I have a minute?” She jerked a thumb toward the hall.

He nodded.

She offered Bailey a smile as she turned to leave and he returned it, but the curiosity in his eyes suggested he’d be asking his brother about what was going on later.

She blew out a breath. There was no time to worry about that now. As soon as the door closed behind him, she launched into her apology. Better to tear off the Band-Aid all at once in her experience. “About earlier,” she started, already feeling like a fool. “I’m sorry about how I acted. I know you weren’t trying to pry.”

“You got that right.”

Okay, so he wasn’t going to make this easy. Fine. She deserved it. “I guess I got defensive because you were right. Everything wasn’t fine with me.”

He crossed his arms over his chest. “Go on.”

“Last night was our last night out. You know Simone and mine, before she leaves. It was our way to put off the inevitable goodbye for as long as possible. Well anyway, we went out to dinner and we ran into someone from my past,” she paused and took a deep breath. “Let’s just say I wish we hadn’t.

“We’ve all got people from our past. Whoever you saw must’ve been bad if it’s still bothering you today.”

She folded her arms over her chest in a mirror image of Oliver, but hers wasn’t so much a stalling tactic as it was a way to keep her insides from spilling out all over his shoes. How much baggage was she supposed to dump on this poor man? “You could say that, but it wasn’t just the guy. This morning . . . that phone call. It was my mom.”

“Ah.” He nodded slowly as though processing what she said. “I know your relationship with your mom is complicated, but why don’t you fill me in so I might be able to understand what one has to do with the other.”

She bit her bottom lip as she searched for the right words to try to make him understand. “How about I’ll explain part of the crazy and spare you the other? I don’t think you have time for all of it.” She didn’t want to talk about her mother either, so less was more. Unless one already had the privilege of knowing Donna, they couldn’t truly understand, but she owed him an explanation.

“Years ago, I was engaged to a guy named Mike. We met in college and dated for two years before he asked me to marry him. I thought he was the one. I spent a lot of time planning out the rest of my life and in the end I wasn’t the one he wanted.”

“Just like that he changed his mind?” Oliver studied her with intense eyes, but his hurt from her earlier behavior was no longer evident.

“Well, I called it off after I caught him with a girl from his office in his car. It’s nothing that hasn’t happened to thousands of other people. I’m not the only one who’s ever been wronged in a relationship. I get that, but for me it wasn’t the guy so much as it was the shocking revelation I was on the path to turning into my mother. How could I have not seen that Mike was a creep? I mean, I’d practically been raised around every bad relationship imaginable. There were cheaters. Verbal abusers. Drinkers. You name it. And, there I was, suddenly about to mirror my mother’s behavior.”

“That doesn’t make it hurt any less.”

A slight pull tugged at her heart because he understood or he was at least trying to. “You’re right, but that only made it worse. I was angry for a long time.”

For some reason talking to Oliver about Mike was easy. She guessed it was because Oliver wasn’t trying to make her feel better or downplay what had happened. He was, as he’d pointed out earlier, being a friend.

“Was last night the first time you’ve seen him?”

“Yes, and he was with his new fiancée. Seeing him transported me back to a dark time in my life and I’ve worked hard not to repeat my mistakes. Then, with my mom calling this morning, it was just too much.”

“I get it.”

She shook her head. “You don’t have to placate me. I know I’m all kinds of messed up.”

“I’m serious. You aren’t the only one of us with parental issues. My dad was a lead singer with a drug problem who OD’d. Believe me, I get it.”

Lexie stared at him for a long second as it occurred to her she’d never thought about where his dad might be. Bailey was in the hospital and not once had a dad been in the picture. She should’ve realized. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. It was a long time ago.” He chuckled. “Wow, listen to me. That shrink is finally paying off.”

“You have a shrink?”

“Honey, I live in L.A. Everyone has a shrink, or at least has had one at one time. Hell, I think my shrink has a shrink.”

“L.A. sounds like an interesting place.”

He grinned, “Oh, believe me, it is. So, last night, I guess Mike kind of ruined your evening with Simone.”

“Nah, he doesn’t have that kind of power. It was awkward was all.”

“Sounds fun.”

“Well, parts of it were.” Lexie smirked as she remembered what Simone had said to him. “Simone hates him and she doesn’t try to hide it.”

“I knew I liked her.”

“She’d be glad to hear it, but don’t be hurt if she steps over you to get to Bailey.”

“Oh, I see how it is,” he laughed. “She’s into those ugly, untalented guys.”

“Sure, if you say so.” They both laughed and looked at each other a moment longer and as they did, she felt something between them change. Their mutual attraction had developed into something deeper. An understanding or respect, she wasn’t sure which, but it was there between them as sure as the air. “Sorry, again, for earlier.”

“It’s all good. Hey, you know, I know a lot of people.” He leaned in close to her and lowered his voice. “If you want me to have the bastard’s ass kicked, just say so.”

She laughed and with it the tension of the morning melted away.

“Hey, I have an idea.”

“Uh-oh. I’m a little afraid to ask.”

He grinned clearly proud of himself. “I know how you can give Simone a going away present she’ll never forget.”

Chapter 16

“So tonight, in honor of your final night in Georgia, I vote we watch Fried Green Tomatoes and eat all this amazing greasy Mexican food I picked up on the way home,” Lexie set her bags on the counter in the kitchen.

“I like that plan.” Simone held out a glass of wine with one hand and reached for a tortilla chip with the other. “Pass the cheese dip.”

Lexie accepted the wine with a grateful smile. “So, how was your day? Did you see everyone you wanted to?”

“And then some. It was exhausting,” Simone took an unladylike gulp of her wine. “You’d think I’m moving out of the country instead of to California. I had to remind my mother there are planes that fly from Atlanta to L.A.”

“She’s just going to miss you is all. Cut her some slack.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Simone popped the Styrofoam container open and inhaled deeply as the aroma of enchiladas filled the kitchen.

Though tough, Lexie knew Simone was using humor to mask her feelings. It was her coping mechanism. Ever since her parents had divorced she and her mom had been close. The move was going to be hard for both of them.

“I’ll be back in two minutes. I’ve got to get out of these scrubs. Don’t eat everything before I get back.”

“Don’t worry, you can trust me.”

Lexie could almost hear the sly grin in her friend’s voice as she wandered down the hall to her room. Instead of her usual pajama pants she opted for jeans and a T-shirt. Now, if she could get a little food into her system, she might feel human again.

They talked while they ate and were about to clean up when there was a knock on the door. “Are you expecting someone?”

“No. Maybe it’s your mom?”

“Very funny,” Simone shot her a glare and then began to look worried. “Wait, you don’t think it is, do you?”

“I have no idea.” Lexie approached the door thankful her back was to her friend, because she could barely hide her smile. Oliver was right, this surprise was going to knock the wind out of Simone.

When she opened the door to find Dave standing on the other side with his guitar draped across his chest, he grinned at her conspiratorially and gave her a wink. “Hey Simone, it’s for you.”

“Coming.”

Lexie waited while she wiped her mouth and slid off the stool where they’d been sitting at the bar. When Simone reached the door, Lexie took a step back but stayed close enough to see her expression change from confusion to astonishment in the span of a blink. When Dave started to sing, “Don’t You Forget About Me,” Simone turned a shade of fuchsia only found in women being serenaded by rock gods, which was rare.

As Dave wrapped up, Simone stood speechless for a beat before breaking out into a huge grin and then she and Lexie both started to clap.

“Ladies,” Dave bent at the waist for a little bow. “Safe travels, Simone. Come see us in L.A.”

“Wow, that was . . . I mean you were . . . Thanks. And, don’t worry, we never miss a show.”

He grinned, and Lexie was pretty sure a noise escaped her friend she hadn’t heard in their twenty plus years of friendship.

“Lexie, I’m sure I’ll see you around. You ladies have a good night.”

“Thanks, Dave. Tell Oliver he owes you one.”

“Oh, don’t worry, I will.” After Dave was all the way down the stairs, Simone turned slowly around to face Lexie.

“You heifer,” Simone practically screeched. “I can’t believe you did that.”

“What? You didn’t like being serenaded by Dave?” Lexie feigned surprise.

“You let me stand there in front of him with my hair piled on my head, while sporting pajama pants and an old T-shirt with holes in it.”

“Oh, that. Well, I doubt he cared. Besides, you look cute. Understated is sometimes better.”

“Lexie, you kill me,” Simone crossed to hug her. “That was great and something I will never forget. How did you get Oliver to talk him into it?”

“He knows you’re moving and I may have let it slip that you think Bailey is hot, and since he’s unavailable, Oliver went for the next best choice. It was his idea.”

“I’m completely mortified and touched all at the same time,” she pulled back. “I think I might like Oliver.”

“He said the same thing about you.”

“Aww, he did?”

“Yes, when I told him about you giving Mike hell last night.”

“You told him about Mike?” Simone stared in disbelief.

“Yep, so are you ready to watch the movie? I don’t want to spend your last night here talking about that jerk. Oh, and by the way, Oliver kissed me. Several times actually. I thought you’d want to know.”

“I-you-he . . . what?” Simone grabbed her arms and shook her. “And, you’re just now telling me this?”

“Now seemed like as good a time as any.”

Simone slapped a palm to her forehead. “You might be the most infuriating person on the planet.”

Lexie hunched her shoulders and gave an apologetic smile, “But, you love me.”

She huffed out a sigh. “Yeah, I do.”

Lexie pushed ‘play,’ and as the opening music started, Simone nudged her shoulder. “Is he as good of a kisser as I would expect him to be?”

“Better.”

Simone whimpered and they burst out in giggles the same way they used to do when they were in high school. Some things never changed.

The following morning was terrible. Simone was trying to be strong, but that just meant she was overcompensating with jokes. Lexie let it ride because she didn’t want to say goodbye any more than Simone did, but the time had come. As they stood in the parking lot of Lexie’s apartment building, they were both putting forth a valiant effort to hold off the tears.

“Here,” Simone thrust a CD in a clear case into her hands, “I made this for you. It’ll give you something to listen to on your drive to work.”

“Aww, you made me a mix? When did you have time to do that?”

“As if I could sleep after that whole thing with Dave. You’re lucky I didn’t need a cold shower.”

“Are you sure you don’t?”

“Shut up and give me a hug. You’ve got to go before you get stuck in the rush.” They stood hugging for a long moment and then Simone pulled away. “Okay, so as soon as I get settled we’ll set up a time for you to visit.”

“Definitely,” she cleared her throat. “Be careful. Call me.”

“Skype you later,” Simone slid into her car and shut the door leaving Lexie to watch as she pulled out of the complex.

As the car disappeared out of sight, Lexie fought the tears burning behind her eyes as a piece of herself slipped away. The move would mark the first time in two decades she couldn’t run to Simone’s house just to hang out or to vent when her mom was saddling her with another stepdad. She wouldn’t be able to drop by her apartment and watch their favorite television shows after work or gossip about their latest bad dates.

Lexie climbed into her own car then and put in her new CD. The tears threatening to spill broke free when she burst out laughing as “Baby Got Back,” began to play. Way to keep it upbeat Simone. She started singing along with Sir-Mix-A-Lot and every song after as the rest of the disc played. It was full of songs from bands whose concerts they had attended together and when the last song came on, it was the same one Dave had sung the night before. Granted, it was the original and not Dave’s version, but it was good stuff nonetheless. Maybe she’d suggest to Oliver they cover it.

No sooner had she felt it was a stroke of genius on her part, did she remember him saying he didn’t write love songs. Had he ever been in love before? She told him all about her past, but aside from tabloid stories she didn’t know anything about his.

As she parked her car and continued to debate whether or not to ask him, it dawned on her that she didn’t feel sad anymore. Between Simone’s mix and thinking about Oliver her mind was too occupied to be sad, which was fine by her. She didn’t need to be mopey at work. Besides, she would be heading out to L.A. to visit Simone before she knew it and Simone would visit. Her mom was here, after all, which meant she wouldn’t be able to stay away. Feeling better and more reassured, Lexie pressed the button for the elevator. When the elevator doors opened to reveal Oliver, her lips curved up in a smile.

“Hey, you.” Oliver grinned, something he seemed to do an obscene amount of since meeting Lexie.

“Good morning.” She fell in step with him and stood close as the elevator dropped toward the proper floor. “Did you actually sleep this time?”

“A bit,” he chuckled, happy he’d been able to do something for her which according to Dave had gone well. “So, how was last night?”

“Something tells me you already know.” She bumped him with her shoulder and her scent floated on the air between them.

He toyed with the idea of pressing the emergency stop button to buy them some alone time, but she needed to get to work.

“What did you have to promise him? A kidney? Doing an entire concert naked?”

“We won’t get into that. Let’s just say I’ll be in debt a long time. There’s no telling when he might decide it’s time for a little payback.” At the look of worry on her face, Oliver made sure to bump her shoulder back, to reassure her it was all good. “So, was Simone surprised?”

“Extremely. She went crazy after he left. Of course, that was because she was ticked I let her stand in front of Dave from Survival of the Fittest in pajama pants and a T-shirt.”

“Dave said she was cute. Tell her not to worry.”

“I may wait and tell her that once she’s done driving. I wouldn’t want her to flip her car off the road.”

“Good idea,” he followed Lexie down the hall as she set about her daily routine. “So, are you doing okay?”

“Surprisingly, yes. I think Dave helped distract us from reality and it’s much appreciated.” She switched her bag from one shoulder to the other, but made no move to go into the locker room. “When is he heading out?”

“This afternoon. He’s going back to meet with the rest of the guys, the label, and to see Sara.”

She glanced at her phone and bit her bottom lip, the sight too much for him. He reached out a hand and rubbed his thumb across her lip, tugging it free and desperate to kiss her again.

“I need to get going. Are you going to be around?”

“Yeah. I’ll be here.”

She smiled, the sight enough to make his blood pump faster. Between that and the way she’d bitten her lip. Damn.

“Thanks again for last night. It was an epic surprise.”

“You’re more than welcome, Lexie.”

With red cheeks, she smiled and headed for the door. Jesus, she was something.

Lexie went through her morning routine with her second patient, the same one as the day before, and then set out to organize the morning medications. Her usual cart was ready for her, marked by her ever-present Minnie Mouse picture. The other nurses left it for her, aware that to touch Lexie’s perfectly organized cart was to chance being on the receiving end of her wrath.

A commotion at the other end of the hall caught her attention. An alarm sounded as nurses rushed into the patient’s room and when Lexie recognized which room it was, fear gripped her heart like an iron fist. She pushed her cart next to the wall and abandoned it there as she took off for Mr. Robert’s room. When she arrived, it was chaos.

Dr. Milo stood, along with two other nurses, surrounding the bed as Mr. Roberts remained in cardiac arrest. Lexie remained by the door with her heart in her throat, unable to help. Dr. Milo flipped off the machines as was common practice for someone who was a DNR patient, but it pained her to know his fight was over. His body had finally given out.

She turned and left the room, her footsteps laden with the weight of loss. As she passed the waiting room and saw Mr. Robert’s children and grandchildren inside, his eldest son looked up and met her eyes. His pain shined through his unshed tears and she knew he was aware his father was gone. She didn’t join the family, although she would’ve been welcome. Before she could be of any use to any of them she needed a moment to herself.

She pushed open the locker room door and collapsed on one of the benches. Her shoulders shook and her sobs echoed off of the lockers as she let the grief wash over her. He’d been ready to move on after fighting a long battle. And, with his wife gone and his children grown, he had lived a full life. Of course, knowing it and accepting it were two different things.

After her tears began to subside, she took a few deep breaths and stood to look at her face in the mirror. Her eyes were puffy and red, but regardless, she had to get back to work. There was no time to sit and mourn Mr. Robert’s passing when she had other patients to take care of. She thought about her cart sitting in the hall and wondered if anyone was trying to figure out where she had gone.

She wiped at her eyes and touched up her makeup hoping she looked at least presentable. Resigned, she headed back out into the hall and when she passed the waiting room, she saw she wasn’t alone in her tears. The family had been made aware of the situation. She would have to see them all at the funeral. She didn’t have time to stop now. She was already behind.

After a long stop in her first patient’s room she finally reached Bailey’s room where, true to his word, Oliver was sitting on the couch.

“Hey, I thought you forgot about me. I was about to send out a search party.”

“Yeah, sorry about that, Bailey. It’s been a busy morning.”