A Fallen Woman (18 page)

‘
I am sorry to hear about your father. Is he very
unwell?’

He shook
his head and smiled ruefully. ‘Not so as you’d notice but that is
the story. I don’t think he liked me spending so much time
away.’

And nor
would Mrs. Thursby, Rachel reflected wryly. She was very much a
managing mama. ‘He will be pleased to have you home, then,’ was all
she said. She noticed a couple glide past; Violent and Worsley.
Violet’s attention was all for the earl, her expression rapturous,
as if he were imparting pearls of wisdom. Rachel wondered if
Worsley was impressed.

‘Rachel,’
Richard began, bringing her attention back where it belonged. ‘I
have every intention of paying a call next week, if you will
receive me.’

Rachel looked
up at him in surprise. He sounded serious. ‘There is really no
need, you know. It would stir up endless amounts of gossip and your
mother…’ she paused, imagining Mrs. Thursby’s reaction to her
precious son paying a call on the local Scarlet Woman and shook her
head. ‘Oh dear Lord no! You cannot do such a thing.’

‘I can,’
he said with some determination. ‘I admit, I have been swayed by
the opinions of others but the fault lies entirely with me. If you
can forgive me, I would be extremely grateful.’

Rachel
was now eying him warily. There was a defiant note in Richard’s
voice that was giving her a sense of unease. It made her forget
whatever small hurts his rejection had caused her in a sudden surge
of anxiety on his behalf. ‘Richard, do not be foolish. Whilst I
understand that you regret your previous behavior – and I
appreciate it, I assure you – it would be the height of folly to
become my champion. Indeed, it would do you considerable
harm.’

‘Nonsense,’ he replied stoutly. ‘People can think what they
like. It makes no difference. I have not been the friend you
deserved, Rachel
, and I have come to deeply regret it. I realized as much
when I saw you today.’

Rachel
was taken aback by this unexpected turn in the conversation. She
had thought that Richard might try and make a vague kind of amends,
soothe his conscience with apologies and explanations, but she had
not thought that he would decide on a ridiculous bout of chivalry.
She did indeed appreciate the sentiment, but if Richard elected to
stand by her he would suffer because of it.

‘No,’ she
said with as much firmness as she could muster. ‘You are not
falling on your sword because of me. I did the wrong thing,
Richard. I made a mistake and I should be punished for it. But you
have done nothing and I will not have your name tarnished.’ She
smiled up at him. ‘I could not ask such a thing of any of my
friends. I am sorry I was so prickly. I have missed you over the
past three and a half years. But I do understand why you did not
come and see me. And you must understand that you cannot come and
see me now. It would provoke all manner of talk.’

‘
I do not care about talk!’

‘
Then you should,’ she assured him, just as the music ended.
‘Don’t be a goose, Richard. For my sake and for the sake of our
friendship.’

He did
not want to agree, she could see it in his eyes. He would probably
have argued the point further if his sister had not approached them
with Worsley at her side. The girl looked very becoming in
sea-green crepe, a little pearl inlaid fan hanging from one gloved
wrist, her fair hair curled around her shoulders. Violet’s eyes ran
over Rachel and she was struck by the chill in them.

Well here is
one person who would strongly object if her brother became a
regular visitor to Thorncroft again…

There was nothing in the girl’s tone however, when she
spoke and she curtsied very prettily to Rachel, as if she were
a
respectable
matron of middling years. ‘Good evening, Miss Sheridan.’

‘Good
evening,’ Rachel responded politely. She glanced at Wolsey, who
presented a thoroughly bland face. He inclined his head.

‘Miss Sheridan
.’

‘My
lord.’

‘Richard
dear, Mama is looking for you,’ Violet informed her brother,
although surely if the girl was delivering a message it was a
belated one as she had just finished dancing. No doubt she had seen
Richard dancing with the wicked Rachel Sheridan and was determined
to usher the lamb back into the fold.

‘
I will seek her out shortly,’ Richard returned, looking
vexed.

‘I believe she wishes to see you
now
.’ The slight emphasis on the ‘now’ was
unmistakable.

Brother
and sister eyed each other, then Richard gave a small grimace. ‘Let
me escort you to her, then,’ he returned and, turning to Rachel,
made her a bow. ‘Miss Sheridan, thank you for the
dance.’

‘Thank
you, Sir,’ she returned, with a deal more sincerity than she would
have thought possible ten minutes before.

‘
Mama is not looking for me,’ Violet protested.

‘Oh I’m
sure she is,’ her brother responded with a hint of malice and,
taking his sister’s arm, led her firmly away.

‘
Well,’ Rachel observed, eyeing the retreating pair. ‘There you
are, then.’

‘So it
would seem,’ the earl agreed. ‘I think it is my turn to importune
you for a dance, is it not?’

Rachel raised an eyebrow. ‘Do you think that wise? The
mood
in the
room is extraordinarily febrile, Sir. You might find yourself
pilloried, come morning.’

Worsley raised
an eyebrow. ‘Me?’ he drawled.

The sudden
hauteur drew a small gurgle of laughter out of her. ‘You do that
very well!’

He gave her
something that looked suspiciously like a smirk. ‘A perk of the
peerage, my dear Miss Sheridan. Society cannot afford to look down
its nose at an earl.’

‘
Certainly not an eligible one,’ she agreed wryly. ‘With such
credentials I am almost certain you can survive a dance with
me.’

The music began
again and yes, it was a waltz. As they took their places on the
floor, she gave him an arch smile. ‘Papa will be happy.’

‘
But not as happy as I am,’ he countered quietly. ‘It has been
some time since we danced together Rachel.’

Rachel
said nothing, rather liking the fact that he called her Rachel –
like an old friend – and wishing she could recall more of their
interactions in London. She had some recollection that he had taken
her riding in his phaeton in Hyde Park one sunny afternoon and they
had certainly walked the length of the art gallery off Lancaster
Street. And he had made her laugh with his adroit observations and
quick wit. In fact, if she searched through her hazy memories she
could actually recall they had got on quite well together. Still,
the five short weeks that she had been besotted with Salinger had
disarranged her own wits and her memories were far from perfect.
She had no difficulty remembering her arrival in the capital, or
any of the entertainments she had gone to initially. But after
Salinger had ingratiated himself into her life, everything had
rather faded away.

She
could
recall enjoying dancing with Worsley. He danced well,
holding her with a light, firm touch, steps faultless.

He has
probably had a great deal of practice. Whatever pastimes Worsley
entertained himself with on the Continent seem to have agreed with
him very well…

A small tug
of something warm and unexpectedly sensual played across
Rachel’s nerve ends. The pleasure of being held in a man’s arms – a
good-looking man who was not a relative and who could execute a
waltz with consummate ease – was like rediscovering something a
little bit wonderful. It also made her feel unexpectedly shy and
she had to force herself to look up and meet his gaze.

‘Thursby
seemed very intent,’ he observed lightly.

‘Oh. Yes,
indeed. He feels bad about being a poor friend.’ She shook her
head, hoping that her words had had an effect on Richard. Nobility
was all well and good but she did not want to be responsible for
anybody’s ruined reputation but her own. She felt ashamed at having
harbored negative feelings towards her old friend. The evening had
given her a taste of Society’s attitude towards her and Richard
would be sternly rebuked if he tried to rekindle their
friendship.

‘
A poor friend,’ Worsley repeated, after a moment. ‘Because he
has not come to see you?’

‘
Yes. As if he could do anything else. It would ruin him to do
anything of the kind.’

‘
Surely he must realize that.’

‘
Surely,’ she agreed, a little crossly. ‘I suppose, if he is so
foolish, that I must refuse to see him. I’ll get Mama to explain it
to him. She is good with such things.’

‘It has
been a difficult night?’ he hazarded quietly. ‘I noticed that you
did not lack for partners.’

‘
Indeed,’ Rachel fought to keep her tone neutral.

‘
I sense not all of those partners were pleasant
companions.’

She was
silent for a moment, resisting the urge to confide in him, to spill
out her indignation and disgust at the behavior of gentlemen who
seem to have lost the true meaning of the word. Natural
circumspection held her tongue. She barely knew the earl. Up until
very recently, he had been every bit as censorious as everybody
else and, while it seemed that he had softened towards her, she
could not presume. ‘It was to be expected, after all. There is only
so much civility one is prepared to extend to a family with such a
daughter.’ She watched the way his lips tightened at this,
wondering if he was displeased because his sense of the social
niceties was ruffled by the faulty manners of the Sheridans’
guests, or if his displeasure was on her behalf. She was foolish
enough to hope it was the latter, even though she understood that
it was likely not the case. A truce of some kind had been brokered
between them since she had ruthlessly engaged him in conversation
the previous evening, but that did not mean that he was her ally.
Some sins went beyond the pale and any self-respecting peer of good
standing must condemn her. It would be wise to remember that, both
now and if their paths crossed again.

Worsley
was quiet for a moment. ‘This can’t be easy for you. Perhaps such a
party was unwise.’

‘On the contrary’ she said stoutly, ‘it was entirely
necessary. Charlotte should have
a chance to celebrate with the people that
she has known all her life.’

‘
Even if it leaves you open to the crass behavior of men who
should know better?’

Rachel hesitated. In
truth, very few had behaved in a manner most
gently bred people would consider to be appropriate, but it seemed
likely that the rules were different for creatures such as herself.
Unfortunately, she had been reared to respond with the polite
nuances of a respectable female. She found herself at a loss to
know how to react to blatant impropriety.

‘Even then. Besides,
I find I am no fit judge as to what constitutes
impropriety,’ she admitted wryly. ‘You must remember, I have been
out of the way of things for some time.’

‘
Some things don’t change,’ he pointed out. ‘How a man treats a
woman is surely one of them.’

‘It
depends on the woman,’ she replied dryly. ‘Does it not?’

The hand clasping her own tightened for a moment, before he
relaxed again. ‘I had not thought so,’ he drawled at last. ‘But
then, I have been gone from England for some time. Perhaps the
social mores
have
changed.’

Rachel looked up at him from beneath his lashes. For all
that the words
were almost lazy, there was a hardness beneath them that
was not lost on her. ‘I daresay we shouldn’t be too hard on them. I
suppose… well, I am not sure what I suppose but I would have been
foolish to think that it would be as it once was.’

‘
You are in your own house,’ he pointed out. ‘Surrounded by
your own family. Yes, I believe you have every right to think that
you would be treated with all the courtesy such a circumstance
demands.’

Yes, she decided. He really
was
annoyed. How odd! ‘But yesterday you said
-’

‘Yesterday, I behaved like an ill-mannered clod,’ he
interrupted her, voice sharp. He softened it immediately. ‘You can
put it down to any number of things but there is no getting around
the fact that I behaved very badly. I have been meaning to
apologize.’

‘You did apologize. This afternoon, in the
library.
’

‘So I did
. It feels inadequate, however.’ His grey eyes looked into
her own, searching and intent. ‘Did you accept?
Do
you accept? I will understand if you
do not.’

Rachel
felt the questions bubbling up within. Why he felt the need to
apologize when he had obviously believed every word he had thrown
at her. Why he had elected to go against the social grain and ask
her – very publically – to dance. And why he was suddenly looking
at her with something other than angry contempt. What could have
she possibly said or done to change his opinion of her?

Perhaps it is
wisest not to question it. Perhaps, for once, I should try to be
circumspect and not let my curiosity rule my tongue. Let us just
enjoy this new found peace…