A Family To Cherish (13 page)

Barbara smiled with relief. “Doug, you scoundrel, you scared me. Now tell me. What about Janee?”

Doug's lips tightened. There was a weariness around his eyes she hadn't noticed before. He inhaled sharply and said, “Pam and Benny won't be bringing Janee home.”

“Won't bring her home? What are you talking about? They've got to bring her home!”

“I'm afraid they don't see it that way, Barb. I don't know how to say this—”

“Just tell me, Doug!”

“Pam and Benny have petitioned the court. They want to adopt Janee.”

Barbara scoffed, her throat letting out a little explosion of laughter. “Adopt Janee? Pam and Benny? You must be kidding!”

Deep furrows marred Doug's forehead and his dusky blue eyes glinted with rancor. “I wish I were, Barb. I'm sorry. It's not a joke. Pam and Benny are dead serious.”

“How do you know? Did they tell you so?”

“I was served with papers today. From their lawyer. There'll be a court hearing, Barb. A judge in San Francisco will decide who keeps Janee.”

“But how can that be?” Barbara shook her head in bewilderment. “We have Janee. The will said so. We're her guardians.”

“Her legal guardians, yes, but we've made no petition for adoption. Now Pam and Benny have.”

“But why? Why would they want her now?” Barbara cried.

“I don't know. Maybe she somehow awakened their maternal and paternal instincts.”

“You don't believe that any more than I do.”

“If it didn't sound a bit malicious, I'd say Benny's got his eyes on Janee's trust fund. Whoever adopts her would have control over it until she's twenty-one.”

“Why would Pam and Benny want Janee's money? They're wealthy.”

Doug nodded. “The way they live, you'd think they're rolling in dough. But maybe the used car business isn't what it used to be. Maybe they're overextended. Who knows? I just feel there has to be a financial motive behind their sudden interest in Janee.”

“How can we find out?”

“I don't know. If you want to fight this—”

“Of course, I want to fight it. I want Janee. Don't you?”

“Yes, I've wanted her from the beginning, but I wasn't sure how you felt.”

“I want her, Doug.” Barbara's voice broke with emotion. “I love her. I never knew I could love a child again.”

“Then we'll have to get ourselves a lawyer.”

“We have a lawyer.”

“A corporate attorney. But we need someone who can win this case for us.”

“Where do we begin?”

“We'll do what Pam and Benny did. File a petition to adopt Janee, to make her our own little girl.”

“What if they win, Doug?”

“We won't let them, Barbie. Janee's ours.”

Barbara closed her eyes and pressed her fingertips against her throbbing temples. “Oh, Doug, it's happening all over again, isn't it? We're losing the child
we love.” A sob tore from her throat. “Just when I thought I could trust God again!”

Doug pulled her to him and wrapped her in his warm, strong arms. “There, there, Barbie. It'll be okay. We've got to believe it'll all work out right.”

“No, Doug. I can't bear it. I can't live through it again. I'd rather be dead than face that pain again.”

His arms tightened around her. “We'll get through it, Barbie,” he whispered, his voice raw with emotion. “I promise. God help us, we'll have our Janee back if it's the last thing we do.”

T
hroughout the weekend Barbara could think of only one thing: Pam and Benny were going to take Janee away from her. That dreadful possibility darkened her time with Doug. How could either of them put on a happy face with such a threat looming? How could Doug's own flesh and blood pull such a vile trick? Worse, how could God allow this to happen when Barbara had just made her peace with Him after all these years?

Such bitter irony belonged in some Greek tragedy. Imagine, just when she had decided to trust God completely, He had pulled the rug out from under her again.

On Monday morning, after a quiet, solemn weekend at the cabin, Doug packed his small valise and prepared once again to drive back down the mountain. As Barbara walked with him to his car, he
urged her to come with him. “This place is so lonely and isolated, Barb. Why don't you just throw a few things into a bag, lock the door and ride back with me? Maybe you'd feel better in town with all its hustle and bustle. It would keep your mind off things.”

She declined. “It would mean lonely days in some dreary motel room while you work long hours at the hospital. No, I'd rather remain here in the cabin. It's filled with happy memories of my days here with Janee.”

“Are you sure you're not just torturing yourself?”

“Maybe, maybe not. I just know I can't leave.”

“Okay. Have it your way.” Doug embraced her, gave her a brief kiss on the lips and climbed into the driver's seat. “I'll make a few calls today and get the ball rolling to get Janee back in our custody until the court hearing.” He shut the door and rolled down the window. “The way I see it, until a judge declares otherwise, we're her legal guardians.”

Barbara leaned into the open window. “Please, Doug, do whatever's necessary. Get her back as soon as you can.”

As he drove away, she felt a twinge of regret. Maybe she
should
have gone with him. What was she going to do in the empty cabin until he returned? She'd go stir-crazy, for sure. She stood with arms crossed as a chill breeze rippled through her cotton shirt. Doug's car was out of sight now, but she
didn't move. She felt frail and painfully vulnerable, as if the buffeting winds might topple her, send her over the edge.

Barbara spent the afternoon looking at Janee's scrawled crayon drawings and her quaint pinecone people with the felt hats and coats. Awash with nostalgia, she took magnets and placed several of the drawings on the refrigerator door, remembering how Nancy's refrigerator had dazzled with Janee's colorful renderings. Barbara mentally replayed the hours she and Janee had spent going for walks in the woods and feeding the squirrels and building nesting boxes. She retraced every memory of Janee she could summon, until a knot of anguish tightened in her chest, so painful she had to stop and catch her breath.

At last she ambled over to the window and looked out at the red sunset blazing through the silhouetted pines. Aloud she said, “What do You want of me, God? Is this a game You're playing? Testing me to see what it takes to break me? I'll tell You. It won't take much. I'm at my wits' end, and I don't know how long I can hang on.”

She brushed away an uninvited tear. “Are You really there, God?” she whispered. “Do You love me? Then help me, because I can't help myself. I can't spend my days being all maudlin and weepy. I've lost too much time mourning for Caitlin. I can't do it for Janee, too. Lord, help me to get through this. Please, help me!”

She waited, silent, hardly breathing, listening for the sound of God's voice in her heart. She heard only the wind in the eaves and the caw of a bird in flight. Just as she was about to despair, the thought came to her,
No matter what I take from you, you will always have Me, and I am sufficient.

The words rang in her heart, as stunning and remarkable as if she had heard them aloud.
Learn in your heart of hearts that I am enough. I can meet your needs no matter what else happens to you. No matter what you lose, you have everything in Me.

The idea was revolutionary, that she could lose everything she cherished and God would still meet her needs. He would be her all in all.

“I want to believe it, Lord. Please, help me. And help me to live it, Father.”

Every day for the rest of the week Barbara prayed and meditated on God's Word. She found herself feeling refreshed and able to cope with the uncertainties surrounding Janee. It was such a simple thing, spending time alone with God, and yet it made all the difference in her outlook. How could she have been a Christian all these years and yet have missed this vital truth?

When Doug arrived on Friday night she was eager to tell him of her spiritual odyssey. But before she could find the words, he announced with a broad smile, “Pam and Benny are flying down tomorrow. They're bringing Janee home.”

“Oh, Doug, thank God!” She flew into his arms,
and he swung her around. Her mind reeled with euphoria. But after a few heady moments, the questions tumbled in. “Does this mean they've dropped the petition to adopt Janee? Can we keep her, Doug?”

A reluctant frown erased the earlier laugh lines. “I'm sorry, Barb. It's just temporary. Until our court date. I've lined up a good attorney—Randolph Tate. He reminded Benny's lawyer that we're Janee's legal guardians and they can't keep her without our permission.”

“But we still have to go to San Francisco and fight it out in court?”

“Looks that way. San Francisco was Janee's home, and that's where the will was probated. The court there holds jurisdiction. So we'll have to fly up early next month.”

“When?”

“Tuesday. The fifteenth.”

“And if the judge says they can have Janee…?”

“We'll cross that bridge when we come to it. Meanwhile, we'll build the best case possible.” Doug shrugged off his herringbone jacket and loosened his tie. “I did some checking, Barb. Nothing official. Just some private inquiries.”

She looked quizzically at him. “You checked on Pam and Benny?”

“More specifically, Cotter Motors. I have a few banker friends in high places. I learned via the grapevine that Benny's business is in financial trou
ble, Barb. Some bad debts. I don't know what all. Anyway, Benny's been trying to get a loan, but he was turned down. Word has it he was inquiring whether he could borrow against Janee's trust fund.”

Barbara put her hand to her throat. “You're saying all Janee is to him is a meal ticket?”

“We have no proof, but that's my guess.”

“We've got to tell the judge.”

“It could get tricky, Barb. It could seem like we're just trying to smear Benny's name, and we could end up looking like the bad guy.”

“Then, what can we do?”

“Just plead our case as honestly as we can.” He drew her into the circle of his arms. “And trust God for the rest.”

It was late Saturday afternoon before Benny's rented limousine pulled up beside the cabin. Barbara had been watching for them for hours, her impatience growing along with her anxieties. When she saw Janee jump out of the back seat, she dashed outside to meet the little girl on the porch and scooped her up in her arms.

“Aunt Barbara!” Janee squealed, wrapping her arms around Barbara's neck. “Zowie and I missed you so much!”

“Oh, honey, I missed you so much! And Zowie, too.”

Doug came outside and greeted Janee with a hug,
then turned his gaze to his sister and her husband. “Hello, Pam,” he said coolly. “Hello, Benny.”

They all greeted one another with an icy reserve, then filed inside, Janee rushing ahead to reclaim her little pinecone family. Barbara offered refreshments—coffee and sandwiches—but Benny said no, they had to go. They had a return flight that evening. His voice held a note of embarrassment, unease. He kept tapping his fingers and looking around, as if seeking a way of escape.

After the shenanigans you've pulled, you deserve to squirm,
Barbara thought ruefully, but she kept a polite smile in place, refusing to stoop to Benny's level. “You're sure you don't want some coffee?”

“Okay, maybe a cup,” said Benny. He sat down on the sofa, stiffly, not allowing himself to settle back against the cushions.

Pam sat down beside him. “I'll have a cup, too. Black.”

“I'll get the coffee,” said Barbara. “Then the four of us need to talk this thing out. There has to be some way we can come to an understanding.”

“No deal,” said Benny. “Our attorney advised us not to discuss the case with you.”

“For crying out loud, Benny,” said Doug. “We're family.” He sat down in the rocker across from Pam. “Surely you're not going along with this nonsense, sis.”

Pam averted her gaze, her immaculately made-up face as inscrutable as a china doll's.

Barbara looked over at Janee, who was sitting by the fireplace playing with her pinecone family. “We'll have to talk later. Little pitchers have big ears.”

After Barbara served the coffee, she took Janee by the hand and said, “It's time for bed, honey. Why don't you go wash up and get your pajamas on, and I'll come tuck you in.”

Reluctantly Janee said her good-nights and trudged off to the bedroom with Zowie in tow.

When she had gone, Pam said in her honey-sweet voice, “Barbara, I hope you don't take it personally, our wanting to adopt Janee.”

Barbara sat down in the overstuffed chair beside the sofa. “How am I supposed to take it, Pam? You know how much we want to keep Janee.”

Pam bristled. “I know no such thing! In fact, you're the one who telephoned me several weeks ago and told me you couldn't stand living with that child. You didn't want her in your house for another day. You were beside yourself. You begged Benny and me to come take Janee off your hands. Well, that's what we're doing. You're getting exactly what you asked for.”

Barbara's pulse raced. “I never meant—I was confused, Pam. I thought Janee hated me. I thought she'd be better off with you.”

“And we think so, too, Barbara.” Pam sipped her coffee, her pinky cocked delicately in the air. “We know you could never love another child after Cait
lin. That's perfectly understandable. Janee was a painful reminder of the child you lost. No one would expect you to live with a youngster who brought you such grief.” Pam's tone took on a smugly self-righteous air. “That's why we've decided to adopt Janee. We want her, even if you don't.”

Barbara's indignation flared. “How dare you, Pam! I never said I—” She heard a rustling sound in the hallway and craned her neck around. “Janee, is that you?”

Janee's cherubic face peered around the corner. Her eyes were round and shiny as dinner plates, and her mouth formed a quivery pucker.

“I told you it's time for bed, honey,” Barbara reminded her gently. “Now run along, sweetie. You need your sleep.”

Without a word Janee disappeared down the hall.

After a lull the conversation returned to the impending court case. Benny cleared his throat and loosened his yellow, polka-dot tie. “Barbara, we could avoid this whole nasty battle if you and Doug would just relinquish custody of Janee and let us adopt her.”

“We'll do no such thing,” said Doug. “How you have the nerve to—”

“Please, Doug, be a good sport,” urged Pam, her voice fawning, her crimson lips in a pout. “With Nancy gone, you're the only family I have. You're my big brother. We've got to stick together, right?
And you always said Benny and I should have kids. So now we will.”

Doug straightened his shoulders and thrust out his jaw, his eyes narrowing. “You're ignoring one important fact, Pam. Nancy wanted Barbara and me to raise Janee.”

“But if you weren't able to take her, she wanted us to have her.”

“We are able and willing,” said Doug. “More than willing.”

“But that wasn't Barbara's story a few weeks ago,” said Pam, her words knife-sharp but her voice still smooth as cream. “I don't think it makes for a very stable home when your wife keeps going back and forth, changing her mind so drastically. Who's to say she won't change her mind again next week and decide she doesn't want Janee, after all. A child needs adults she can depend on, Doug.”

“She can depend on us, Pam, and you know it.”

Pam leisurely sipped her coffee. “Well, I guess a judge will have to decide that, won't he?”

“You know you can't win, Pam.” Barbara's voice broke on a sudden wave of emotion. “In the hospital Nancy's dying request was that we take Janee. No judge would go against her last wishes.”

“Maybe not, but a lot has changed since Nancy died,” Pam remarked.

“What are you talking about, Pam?” challenged Doug.

Pam gazed steadily at him, her glossy lips un
smiling. “Well, for one thing, brother dear, you no longer have a home for Janee, thanks to that nasty earthquake. Except for this provincial little cabin. But it's hardly the place to raise a child.”

“Our home is being rebuilt. You know that.”

“But who knows how long it will take? Meanwhile, you and Barbara are living apart. Separated. And she's spending an awful lot of time with that old boyfriend of hers. What's his name? Trent something? Not a good arrangement for a young child.”

Barbara stiffened. “Are you suggesting there's something improper going on between Trent and me?”

“Now, Barb, I didn't say—”

“He's just a friend. He lost his wife and needs someone to talk to now and then. Doug knows that and he has no problem with Trent. Tell her, Doug.”

Barbara noticed that her husband hesitated for just a second before answering. “Barbara's right. I trust her. For you to insinuate that anything is going on between her and Trent is a new low, even for you, Pam.”

Pam waved her hand breezily. “All right, I'm sorry. Maybe I'm wrong. Even so, Janee needs a stable home with two parents.”