A Family to Come Home To (Saddle Falls) (9 page)

“And now, lad, you and Emma have given your late grandmother a namesake, little Brie,” Tommy said, letting his gaze shift to one of the white bassinets where his youngest granddaughter lay sleeping quietly. At least for the moment. “Aye, lad, she would have been proud, your grandmother. Very proud. As am I.” Tommy lifted his glass again and took another sip before turning his attention to Jesse.

He stilled for a moment, gathering his thoughts. When he spoke again, his voice was shaking with emotion. The table quieted as all eyes turned to him.

“Jesse.” Tommy paused, trying to contain the wild rush of emotion, lifting his gaze to Jesse’s, seeing so many, many things in the lad’s face.

Sitting opposite Tommy, at the other end of the table, Jesse shifted his weight nervously, unaccustomed to being the center of attention. Especially in a room full of so many people—virtual strangers, his mind corrected. But he didn’t feel uncomfortable, he realized. Just a small bout of nervousness, which he figured was only natural.

Under the table, he felt Hannah reach for his hand. She’d been sitting next to him all during dinner. Every once in a while he’d sneak a glance at her, or catch her looking at him. They’d both quickly look away, as if embarrassed to be caught looking at the other. It both amused and intrigued him.

Now, feeling the warmth of her hand on his made him relax just a bit more, certain he could endure whatever was to come, feeling just a bit more comfortable than he had several hours ago, realizing
she
had a lot to do with it.

In spite of her dire warnings about what would happen if he hurt Tommy or any of the Ryans, he felt as if she was his special ally who would be there if she needed him. There was some kind of deep emotional connection between them, Jesse realized. And he didn’t understand it any more than he’d understood anything else during the past three months. All he knew was that it was there between them, drawing them closer in a way he found natural. Comfortable.

It had been a long time since he’d felt so comfortable with a woman, Jesse realized. A long time. And longer still since he hadn’t run when a woman had touched something deeper than his body. But there was no denying Hannah had.

It scared him, admittedly, but he wasn’t running yet, he thought. He couldn’t. So he’d just have to be careful, he realized. Mind his step, as she would say. Because the last thing he wanted to do was lose his heart. He’d already lost so much, he didn’t want to add anything else to the mix, especially since his emotions were both raw and torn now, making it far too easy for him to let his feelings go unchecked.

Something he knew he had to be careful of.

He glanced at her now, amazed again at how beautiful she was. Even after a day spent in the kitchen, bent over a hot stove cooking. He smiled at her, enjoying her touch, her warmth.

He squeezed Hannah’s hand in acknowledgment, then linked his fingers through hers and held on, wondering how she kept her hands so soft when she worked as hard as she did.

“Jesse, my boy,” Tommy began. “It’s been a very, very long time since you sat at this table with your family.”

“Too long,” Jake interjected, meeting his baby brother’s gaze.

“Hear. Hear,” Josh said, lifting his glass with a hand that wasn’t quite steady to take a sip of his drink.

“We’ve missed you more than words can ever say,” Tommy continued softly, never letting his gaze waver from Jesse’s. “There was a time we thought we’d never have this night together.” Tommy’s smile was small and he had to take a sip of his drink to clear his throat again.

“A long time,” Jared said quietly, reaching out an arm to catch his son Terry and to slow him down a bit before he raced off after the dogs.

Tommy smiled across the table. “But you’re here now, lad, and we couldn’t be happier. ’Tis a dream come true for the Ryans. All the Ryans,” Tommy emphasized. “And although there have been many years passed, and many memories lost, we all want you to know how proud we are of you, and how happy we are that you’re home.” Tommy’s voice broke and he shook his head as he reached in his pocket for his handkerchief to dab his eyes. With a sniffle and a smile, he lifted his glass in the air. “To you, Jesse, my boy. Welcome back to the clan.”

“Hear, hear.” Glasses were raised in toast, and Hannah found herself watching Jesse, feeling a surge of warmth for him. He’d been nothing but a gentlemen with his family all day. Whatever she’d been expecting hadn’t come to pass. For the moment at least, Jesse seemed to be handling everything just fine.

Her gaze shifted to Tommy. And dear, sweet Tommy couldn’t be happier, she thought, knowing Jesse had been the cause.

She glanced back at Jesse again and found him watching her curiously. She flushed a bit, trying to free her hand from his. But he held on, lifting it from under the table, in full view of everyone, before lifting her hand to kiss.

“That was a wonderful meal, Hannah,” he said quietly. “Thank you.”

“Aye, lass, a thousand pardons,” Tommy said with a shake of his head. “I must be getting daft in my old age, to not even mention this fine, fine meal you prepared for us.” With a grin, Tommy lifted his glass to her. “To Hannah. We don’t know what we’d do without you.”

“Starve,” Jake said, earning a poke in the belly from Rebecca and laughter from everyone else.

Tommy waited for the table to quiet before continuing, his gaze firmly on Hannah’s. “Lass, you know I was never blessed with a daughter, but aye, you’ve been the daughter of my heart. You’re a welcome addition to this family, and a well-loved one at that.”

“Oh, Tommy.” Tears in her eyes, Hannah pressed her free hand to her lips. “I love all of you as well.”

“May you find all the happiness you want and deserve. And be blessed with a dozen more little lasses like your darling Riley.”

Hannah almost choked at the thought. “A dozen?” she laughed. “I think I’d better settle for the one indignant imp I’ve got.”

“To you both, then, Hannah. With our love and appreciation.” Tommy lifted his glass toward her and drank deeply, letting his gaze go around the table at his family one more time, feeling a peace and contentment that had eluded him for many years.

“You truly love them, don’t you?” Jesse whispered to Hannah. She turned to him. He was still holding her hand, and her heart and pulse were reacting in kind.

“Yes,” she admitted with a small smile. “More than I can ever say.” She met his gaze, held it. “They’re my family,” she said simply. “They always have been and always will be.” She hesitated a minute. “They’re yours, too, Jesse,” she said quietly, holding his hand tightly. “If you’ll let them be.”

Jesse said nothing. Instead, he raised her hand, kissed it gently, then glanced away, leaving Hannah with an odd ache in her heart.

“Uncle Jesse, I’m
really
glad you came home,” Riley said, snuggling deeper into his lap with a huge yawn. Night had fallen, the dinner table had been cleared, and dishes were done. Now a hint of moonlight filtered in through the Ryan living-room windows, casting a warm, sweet glow throughout.

“You are, darlin’?” He grinned at her. “Now why’s that?”

“Well…” She hesitated, then glanced around the Ryan living room where everyone was engaged in some after-dinner relaxation. She lowered her voice to a conspiratorial whisper. “Because Timmy and Terry gots a daddy who plays with them and holds them on his lap.”

Jesse glanced at Jared, sitting with his arm around his wife, Natalie, as they each held a twin—little Jesse, also known as J.J. to avoid confusion, and Joey—who were only a few months old.

Jesse’s gaze shifted, watching in amusement as Timmy and Terry, Jared and Natalie’s older twins, sat at their parents’ feet, surreptitiously trying to feed the dogs more gumdrops. Jesse had to smother a laugh. He had to give Jared and his wife credit. It took a great deal of guts to handle two sets of twin boys. He loved children and looked forward to having them, but he wasn’t certain he was quite
that
brave.

“Yes, darlin’,” Jesse said, turning back to Riley who shifted and slung one arm possessively around his neck. “I can see that.”

“And…even little Molly gets to sit on Uncle Jake’s lap.” It was hard not to miss the longing in the little imp’s voice.

Jesse glanced across the room. Jake was holding his baby daughter in his lap, bouncing and cooing at her, all the while keeping up a heated debate with his wife, Rebecca, about the name as well as the sex of their next child.

Rebecca had assured everyone at dinner that she hadn’t conceived yet, but didn’t want to wait to the last minute. She was convinced another girl was in the offing, while Jake was certain this time it had to be a boy.

“I can see that, too, darlin’,” Jesse admitted, realizing with a pang where this was going. Oh, what this child was doing to his heart, he thought, tying a rope around it and lassoing it for sure.

“And Uncle Josh or Aunt Emma are always holding or playing with Brie,” Riley added with a huge sigh that sounded far too much like longing, a longing that deeply touched Jesse’s heart.

His gaze shifted again, following Riley’s line of vision to where Josh and his wife, Emma, sat snuggled together on a love seat, their daughter, Brie, quietly sleeping on her father’s shoulder.

“Well, darlin’,” Jesse began, realizing Riley had laid her head on his shoulder and was struggling to stay awake. “I imagine it’s because Brie’s just a little tyke. And I don’t reckon she can sit up by herself yet. So that’s why she has to sit on her mama or daddy’s lap.”

“Sometimes I get to sit on one of their laps but not always.” Eyes drooping with fatigue, Riley managed a smile as she wound her skinny arm tighter around Jesse’s neck and snuggled into a more comfortable position. “But now that you’re here, Uncle Jesse, I get to sit on your lap.”

“Why, you’re absolutely right, Miss Riley,” he said quietly, touched by the openness and vulnerability in the child. “Seeing’s how I don’t have any babies of my own to keep my lap warm, I guess you’re gonna just have to do the job for me.” Grinning at the delight on her face, he pressed his forehead to hers. “That is, if you don’t mind?”

She shook her head furiously, sending her pigtails flying. “I don’t mind, Uncle Jesse.” Her head continued to shake. “Honest. I like sitting on your lap.”

“Well now, darlin’, I like having you sit here.” He jiggled his leg, bouncing her a bit as she snuggled even closer to him.

“Jesse.” He felt Hannah’s hand on his shoulder and turned to her with a smile. “I think I’d better take her home. She’s almost asleep on her feet.”

“I’m not tired, Mama,” Riley protested, hugging Jesse tighter.

“Yes, sweetheart,” Hannah said, running a gentle hand over her daughter’s head. “I can see that you’re not tired,” she said, giving Jesse a meaningful glance.

Every time she saw Jesse with her daughter, saw the patience and love flowing from him, Hannah was torn between wanting to weep and wanting to jump for joy.

Weep because of all that Riley had missed by not having a father of her own. A father that, as Riley grew older, would be missed more and more. And the thought of depriving her daughter of something—anything—she wanted and needed so desperately made Hannah infinitely sad.

Long ago, she’d realized she could give her daughter all her love, all her attention and devotion, but she couldn’t give her a father, and Hannah
wouldn’t
give Riley a father who didn’t want her or couldn’t accept her. No, Hannah thought. It was much better this way. Much better. Never knowing her father was better than having to try to accept the fact that her father didn’t want her, Hannah realized from her own personal experience. And although she might not be able to provide a father for her daughter, she could protect her child in the best way she knew how. And for now, that would just have to be enough.

But every time she saw Jesse with her daughter, saw his kindness, his patience and his simple goodwill toward her, it brought both an ache to her heart as well as a round of joy. There were very few men in the world who would treat a child the way Jesse had treated Riley from the moment they’d met.

Jesse gave Riley his undivided attention, making it quite clear he had a genuine affection for children. He seemed to understand them on a level most adults didn’t.

He didn’t patronize Riley, nor did he try to pacify her. He merely treated her with respect and dignity, like a person, and not a child. Something that was very rare and very hard for most adults to do.

“Hannah, if you want, Jared can run you and Riley home,” Natalie offered, carrying a sleeping baby of her own toward his bedroom.

“Thanks, Natalie,” Jesse responded, standing and cradling Riley in his arms. “But if it’s all right, I think I’ll walk them home.”

“Fine by me,” Natalie said as she headed down the hallway toward the twins’ bedroom.

“Jesse.” Hannah placed a hand on his arm. “That’s not necessary. Jared can drive us, or I can walk by myself.” She smiled at him. “Riley and I walk home all the time.” She shrugged. “It’s really no big deal. It’s been a long day and I’m sure you’re tired.”

“Not too tired to walk my best girl home,” he said, planting a soft kiss on Riley’s head. He glanced down at her, noted her eyes were closed and there was a look of happy contentment on her face. It pleased him on a level too deep for him to understand at the moment. “Go get your things,” he instructed Hannah. “I’ll meet you out front.” After explaining that he’d be back in a little bit, Jesse headed out the front door with Riley in his arms.

The night had barely cooled off, but the sky was clear and almost a pearly black, with stars twinkling overhead like diamonds set on fire.

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” Hannah asked, coming out the front door and down the steps to join him. She lived across the street and less than a block away.

“That it is, darlin’,” he admitted as they started walking toward the hill. Deliberately, he slowed his steps to match hers. He glanced at her, worry etched on his face. “You look beat.”

She smiled, then shook her head. “I guess I am a little tired. But it’s been a long and extraordinary day,” she admitted, giving him a smile. “But tomorrow’s my day off, so I’ll have a chance to rest a bit and get caught up.”