A Fox's Maid (30 page)

Christine remained silent while Lindsay released a gusty sigh.

“
To be honest,” the tomboy continued softly, “I think this was just his way of moving on, because a part of him couldn’t move on if he was constantly wondering ‘what if.’”

A prominent frown etched itself onto Christine’s pretty face.

“
And that’s why you told him that you didn’t like him? To let him go free?”

Lindsay shrugged. “Partly, but I also didn’t want to date Kevin when his feelings for me were no longer true.”

In the face of Lindsay’s answer, Christine had only one thing to say.

“
You’re an idiot.”

“
Yeah.” Lindsay’s sardonic chuckle filled the street. “Trust me, I’m aware of how stupid that was. Now, come on. Just because Kevin likes Lilian doesn’t give you an excuse to be rude to a person who wants to be friends with you.”

As Christine let Lindsay pull her back toward the Swifts’ apartment, a sigh escaped her lips in a breath of mist and steam.

“
Friendship… right.”

***

“
Oh, my dear sweet babe of gothically clad proportions! You did come! I knew you would eventually see reason and let me suck on those pint-sized―GAOI!”

Everyone in the Swifts’ apartment watched as Eric Corromperre sailed through the air in an almost graceful parabolic arc. When he landed on the ground in a thud of twitching limbs and pained groans, they turned to Christine, whose fist pointed toward the ceiling, her arm extended in an uppercut position.

“
Shut up, ya damn pervert!”

Alex, Andrew and Justin all pulled out sheets of paper and markers―from where, Kevin didn’t know―and quickly scribbled on them, before holding them up like signs.

“
10.”

“
10.”

“
5.6.”

Alex and Andrew stared at Justin.

“
Why a five-point-six?” Andrew asked. Justin looked at him with bored, half-lidded eyes.

“…
Overdone…”

“
Ah.” The twins nodded as one.

“
Is she always this violent?” Ms. Swift asked. Everyone else gave noncommittal nods. “Right, just checking.”

After Christine knocked Eric for a loop, the group went back to their various activities, unfazed by the unmitigated violence that had just taken place. Ms. Swift was the only one who hadn’t borne witness to Christine’s and Eric’s
tsukkomi
routine, but she seemed remarkably calm about the whole thing.

Everyone besides Eric (who was currently unconscious) sat down on the couch. Lilian, master of the remote and controller of everything they watched, pressed the play button. The once frozen figures on screen soon began to move, enacting a scene that Kevin never failed to enjoy despite how many times he’d seen it.

Lilian sat on Kevin’s left, close enough to graze his thigh with her own but far enough that he wasn’t uncomfortable. On his other side was Christine, and next to the Snow Maiden sat Lindsay. The tomboy stared at the screen, wondering what her friends could possibly see in this show. Cartoons were just so childish.

Alex and Andrew were not sitting down. They were standing on their feet. And shouting.

Kevin and Lilian twitched as they listened to their obnoxiously loud voices.

“
Dammit! What the hell are you doing, Ichika?! You can’t just give up like that!”

“
That’s right! Abandon your fear! Look forward! Move forward and never stop! You’ll age if you pull back! You’ll die if you hesitate!”

“
You’re quoting that all wrong! You don’t sound anything like Zanbabesu!”

“
I’d like to see you do it better!”

“
Gladly! I’ll do it a thousand times better than some illiterate idiot like you!”

“
You wanna go? Bitch, I’ll take you down right now!”

“
There will be no fighting in my apartment.” Kevin stood between Alex and Andrew before they could potentially devastate his residence.

“
You mean my apartment,” Ms. Swift interrupted, walking in from the kitchen, a bottle of wine in one hand and a glass in the other. “After all, I am the one who pays the bills.”

“
Yeah, but I’m the one who takes care of the apartment. You’re almost never home,” Kevin pointed out.

Ms. Swift’s pout made her look several years younger, but she quickly waved her son’s words off. “I hardly see how that matters. I am still the one paying for all this; the apartment, the electricity, the utilities. I even pay for that membership you have with Mad Dawg Fitness.”

“
I fail to see what Mad Dawg Fitness has to do with owning the apartment, and I do know that you’re the only reason I can live here. And honestly, I’m not even sure why we’re discussing this. I didn’t mean this was my apartment when I said that. It was just a figure of speech.”

“
Hehe. That means this is my win.”

Kevin rolled his eyes while his mom held up a hand and gave the victory sign, making a “v” shape with her index and middle finger, to everyone there. Seriously, sometimes his mom could be so childish.

As his mom walked onto the balcony, the group eventually got back to watching
White Out
, an anime about a fifteen year old girl with orange hair who became a Shinigami with a big ass sword. Kotohime brought out the snacks, setting them on the coffee table, then joined Ms. Swift on the balcony.

While the anime continued to play, Kevin glanced at his friends out of his periphery. They were an eclectic bunch. Really eclectic, and that was before taking how two of them weren’t even human into account.

There was the yuki-onna who wore gothic lolita clothing and hated the cold, a pair of twins who didn’t look like twins at all and acted like twins even less, a boy who had the weirdest speech impediment in the history of ever, a vivacious and vibrant beauty who, despite her propensity for committing perverted acts, was incredibly innocent and naïve. Also present was the most lecherous creature in the history of existence. Seriously. There could not be anyone more salacious than Eric Corromperre. The only person in this entire group who could be considered normal was Lindsay.

Despite how odd his friends were, Kevin wouldn’t change them for the world. He turned back to the screen, and a bright smile appeared when he realized that one of his favorite scenes was about to play. Ichika was getting ready to go
Bangcock
.

“
Eric! It’s coming!”

Eric, who was still lying on the floor and appeared unconscious, sprang to life at his friend’s words.

“
Did you say cumming?”

“
NO! I said coming! Now get your mind out of the gutter and come over here!”

“
I’m cumming!”

“
Shut up, you perverted beast!”

“
ITAI!!
”

“
And don’t talk in Japanese either, idiot!”

***

“
Isn’t it nice to see them all getting along so well?” Ms. Swift asked her current drinking companion, “I always enjoy seeing my son having fun with his friends.”

Sitting on the balcony in a pair of lounge chairs, Ms. Swift and Kotohime enjoyed some early afternoon wine. Or, in the case of Kotohime, sake. Unlike Ms. Swift’s somewhat slumped posture, Kotohime sat with poise and elegance, her
tabi
socks resting flat against the floor, her back straight, and her
sakazuki
resting within her left hand.

Ms. Swift was barefoot. She wiggled her toes against the cool pavement, reveling in the chilling sensation.

“
It is nice to see my charge finally making friends,” Kotohime admitted. “Lilian-sama has never had any friends before, unless you count her sister. However, she has never had a true friend, someone whom she met and became friends due to a shared interest and not any familial relation.”

Ms. Swift hummed before putting the glass to her lips and savoring the white Zinfandel’s fragrance. “And yet, you still don’t approve of the affection she has for my son.” It wasn’t a question.

“
Of course not.” Kotohime took a sip of sake to hide her scowl. “Lilian-sama has given your son her love, loyalty and companionship―at great personal risk to herself, I might add. And yet, in spite of this, your son has not only
not returned her feelings, but is leading her on by not telling her that he does not feel the same way. I cannot respect a man who would do that.”

“
I can see where you’re coming from, but I think you should give my son a bit more time before handing out such a harsh assessment.” Ms. Swift swirled the wine in her glass as she defended her son. “Kevin has always been a little dense when it comes to his own feelings. Right now he’s confused and doesn’t know how to deal with them. I know for a fact that, before Lilian came into the picture, Kevin used to have a major crush on Lindsay.”

“
That is the tomboyish one, if I am not mistaken.”

“
That’s her.” Ms. Swift took another sip of wine. “Anyway, he used to have a crush on Lindsay, but because he didn’t know how to act around her, Kevin actively went out of his way to avoid her. Even when she tried talking to him, he would just run away.” A pause. “Or pass out. He did that, too.”

“
Then he is a coward.”

“
More like a confused child who never had a father figure in his life.” Ms. Swift barely withheld her grimace. “Or a very good mother, for that matter. I will admit, I am partly responsible for his inability to deal with women. Back when he was younger, I was very hard on him. I was a single mother working full-time and going to college for my bachelor’s degree in journalism, and it was tough. Hiring a babysitter was expensive, so once he reached fourth grade, I stopped hiring them altogether and left Kevin to his own devices, expecting him to be capable of taking care of himself. I could’ve done a better job prioritizing myself; I should have given him the attention he needed, but I didn’t.”

Ms. Swift’s eyes lost their vibrancy as she looked at something only she could see.

“
I did try occasionally, of course,” Ms. Swift said, her voice devoid of emotion. “I’d take him with me when I traveled, allowing him to see the world… but I was never there. Whenever we journeyed to other countries, I would leave him to do my job.” She gritted her teeth, her eyes holding tears. “I remember, every time I came back from my job, he would always be crying. I kept telling him that he needed to man up or no girl would go out with him. Pretty awful, huh?”

“
Hmm…”

Ms. Swift watched as Lilian grabbed one of the sandwiches on the plate and held it out for Kevin, smiling when her son allowed the beautiful redhead to feed him.

Her smile widened when she saw the goth girl—Christine, if she wasn’t mistaken—stand up and start shouting at Lilian.

“
Stop acting so lovey-dovey with Kevin, boob-head!”

“
Why should I listen to you? Are you Kevin? No, you’re not, so why don’t you just go back to watching the anime, tsun-loli. If he doesn’t like what I’m doing, then he can tell me himself.”

“
D-don’t get me involved in this argument! I don’t want any part of it!”

“
God damn you, Kevin Swift! How come these two tittielicious sex-bots are always fighting over you and not me?! It’s not fair!”

“
Shut up, Eric! And for the love of god, stop mentioning tits!”

“
And don’t call us sex-bots, perv!”

“
Gaoi!”

Kotohime and Ms. Swift silently watched how one Eric was pummeled by Christine… again. Steam wafted from his cranium where Christine had hit him, and a large bump the size of a baseball had grown out of his hair.

“
I fail to see how that justifies his behavior,” Kotohime continued their previous conversation.

“
Maybe it doesn’t,” Ms. Swift shrugged. “But I want you to understand where Kevin is coming from. He’s never had a father to help him deal with the changes that boys go through, and I was never a very good parent. In fact, I’m pretty sure my version of the Birds and Bees scarred him for life. Like I said, give him some time. I’m sure he’ll surprise you.”

“
I am giving him time. He just hasn’t met any of my expectations thus far.”

“
That’s too bad.” Ms. Swift’s posture slumped even further. She perked up a second later, however, and leaned forward conspiratorially.

“
By the way, may I ask how you managed to store that sake in your Extra Dimensional Storage Space? I can’t store anything larger than a cup in mine.”

“
I believe it has something to do with our comparative sizes,” Kotohime admitted. “Mine is much larger than yours, you know.”