A Gift of Grace (26 page)

“Are you saying that Jessica should stay here?” Trisha asked.

“
Ya
.” Rebecca cleared her throat in hopes of stopping the lump swelling within it. “I want you to know that I haven’t come to this decision easily. Jessica is having a difficult time fitting in. She’s broken a few rules, and unfortunately some in our community have gone to our bishop to complain about her.”

“What did she do that was so awful?” Trisha asked with a scowl.

“She shared her music with my niece Katie, and music isn’t allowed in our community. She weeded my garden on a Sunday. Work isn’t allowed on Sundays, and she was wearing a bikini top and shorts.”

Trisha covered her mouth to stifle a laugh. “I’m sorry,” she said. “I know that isn’t funny.”

“It’s okay.” Rebecca gave a weak smile. “She was seen kissing Jake and was caught alone with my nephew Samuel in a barn. I’m sure the encounters were innocent, but our community requires scrupulous adherence to the rules. The complaints were brought to Jessica’s attention, and I know it has hurt her. Jessica has always felt alone, even though I’ve assured her that she has my support and love.”

Rebecca paused to wipe her eyes and swallow the sobs caught in her throat. Saying the words out loud hurt more than she expected.

“I’ve tried to tell Jessica that I want her to stay no matter what. But even if she obeyed all the rules and the community accepted her, she would not be happy. She is so like my sister, Grace—so full of life and adventure. She needs more than we can offer her at home. With her running away, I see that forcing her to stay was very selfish of me.” She wiped more tears. “I know that you had tried to get custody of the girls.”

“I did, but the lawyers told me I had no rights to them.” Trisha’s smile faded. “I’m sorry I did that behind your back.”

“It’s okay. Your reason for doing it was understandable.” Rebecca absently clasped her hands. “Would you consider allowing Jessica to stay with you?”

Trisha gasped, and Rebecca met her shocked expression.

“Yes,” Trisha whispered. “I would be honored. I’ll take good care of her.”

Rebecca forced a smile, even though her heart was crying with the regret in her soul. “I want you to promise to have Jessica come visit us.”

“Of course.” Trisha nodded with emphasis. A concerned look overtook her face. “What about Lindsay?”

Rebecca sighed. “I’d prefer to keep her with me, but I’ll let her make that decision. I don’t want to separate the girls if they prefer to stay together.”

“Of course.” Trisha nodded.

“I guess we better tell them.” Rebecca stood. “Thank you.”

“No.” Trisha rose and hugged her. “Thank you.”

Closing her eyes, Rebecca prayed she’d made the right decision.

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R
ebecca stood in the doorway of the hospital room and watched Jessica smile at her sister. Jessica’s skin was pale, and her dark hair framed her face, making her look like a china doll she’d seen in the gift shops back home.

“Go on,” Trisha whispered. “I’m sure she’ll be happy to see you.”

Jessica met her gaze, and the girl’s eyes welled with tears. “Hi.”

When Rebecca stepped into the room, Jake rose from his chair next to the bed and gestured for Rebecca to sit.

“Thank you.” Rebecca sank into the seat. “Hi,” she said to her niece. “How are you feeling?”

“Kinda sore.” Jessica licked her lips. “I’m sorry for running off. It was thoughtless and stupid.”

“I’m sorry too,” Rebecca said. “I was wrong to not listen to you and see what you really needed.” She clasped Jessica’s hand. “I’m just glad you’re okay. You gave us quite a scare.” She squeezed her hand. “Trisha and I wanted to talk to you about something.” She cut her gaze to Trisha, who nodded.

“Lindsay.” Trisha fished her wallet from her purse and handed Lindsay a few bills. “How about you and Jake go get a snack?”

“Oh. Okay.” Lindsay shot Jake a confused expression.

Trisha walked Lindsay and Jake to the door and explained how to find the snack machines. After they left, she closed the door behind them.

“Are you guys having an intervention or something?” Jessica asked, looking between Rebecca and Trisha.

“No, not an intervention, but we need to talk.” Trisha sank into a chair on the other side of the bed from Rebecca.

“I’m in trouble, right?” Jessica sighed. “Look, I’m really sorry. Running away was immature and stupid. I never should’ve—”

“It’s okay.” Rebecca patted her niece’s arm. “That’s not what we want to discuss with you.”

“Oh.” Jessica’s eyes simmered with confusion. “So, what’s going on?”

“I spoke with Trisha, and she said that she’d be happy to have you live with her.” Rebecca held her breath, again praying she was making the right decision.

“What did you say?” Jessica whispered, an expression of disbelief overtaking her pretty face.

“I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about you and how unhappy you’ve been.” Rebecca sucked in a breath as tears again threatened her eyes. “I want what’s best for you and your sister, and forcing you to live somewhere that makes you unhappy is not what’s best for you.”

Tears shimmered in Jessica’s eyes. “You’re going to let me move in with Trisha?” she asked, her voice thick with emotion.

“If that’s what you want, then that’s what I want.” Rebecca rubbed her arm. “I love you, Jessica. All I ever wanted was what was best for you and what would make your mother happy. I don’t think Grace would want you to be unhappy. And I don’t think that’s what God wants either. I haven’t been listening to what’s really His will. Daniel has been trying to tell me that it isn’t right to force you to live by our rules, and I wasn’t listening. I’ve only heard what I wanted.”

Rebecca pushed a dark lock of hair back from Jessica’s face. “Besides, you look just like your mother. I need to let you go like I had to let her go.”

“Thank you,” Jessica whispered, tears spilling over her pink cheeks. “Thank you so much.”

Rebecca nodded as her own tears began to fall.

“I’m so sorry for all the trouble I caused,” Jessica said, swiping her tears from her cheek.

“Don’t you worry about anything,” Rebecca said. “Just promise to be good and also visit me as often as you can. I’ll send you a bus ticket.”

“Thank you, Aunt Rebecca.” Jessica squeezed her hand. “I love you.”

Rebecca’s heart warmed. Jessica had finally called her “aunt,” and she finally said that she loved her. Leaning down, she gave her niece a warm hug.

Jessica then turned to Trisha. “Thank you too.”

“You just get better.” Trisha rubbed her shoulder. “Then we’ll get your new room set up.”

“Will you send my things?” Jessica asked Rebecca. “I really want my quilt that you gave me.”

“Of course,” Rebecca said.

The door clicked open, and Lindsay and Jake walked in carrying cans of soda and small bags of chips.

“Is everything okay?” Lindsay asked, lowering herself into a chair.

“Yeah.” Jessica wiped her eyes. “I’m staying here. I’m going to live with Trisha.”

Lindsay gasped. “What?” She gave Rebecca a questioning glance.

Rebecca nodded. “It’s true. I decided it would be best for Jessica to stay and finish high school. You can stay too, if that’s what you want. All I want is for you girls to be happy.” She held her breath. Losing Jessica would be difficult, but losing them both would be devastating.

Lindsay turned her gaze to her sister. “If it’s okay with you, I’d like to stay with Aunt Rebecca. I’m happy there.”

Jessica gave her a weak smile. “I understand. But we’ll visit each other as often as we can. I’ll even leave you the phone so we can text each other.”

Lindsay nodded. “How about you learn how to write a letter?” She popped up and hugged her sister. “I’ll miss you.”

“I’ll miss you too.” Jessica wiped more tears.

Jake placed his drink on the floor and moved over to her bed. “You’re leaving me, huh?”

Jessica nodded, wiping more tears. “But we’ll still be friends.”

“Of course we will.” He kissed her cheek. “I expect you to use that new phone and call me at least once a week.”

Rebecca hugged her arms to her chest and smiled. Although it hurt to see Jessica leave Lancaster County, she knew in her heart that she’d made the right decision.

Rebecca stepped into the guest room at Trisha’s home later that evening. After placing her clothes on the dresser, she turned to find Lindsay standing in the doorway.

“Hi,” Lindsay said. “Can we talk for a minute?”

“Come in.” Rebecca motioned for her to enter the room. “I was just heading to bed.”

“Me too.” Her niece sat on the edge of the double bed. “It’s been a long day. Jake already went to bed. I heard Trisha say that Jessica is coming home, I mean here, tomorrow.”

“That’s what I heard too.” Rebecca ran a brush through her long hair.

“I’m going to miss her, but I’m glad that she’ll finally be happy. She’s been so miserable since Mom and Dad died.” Lindsay bit her bottom lip. “Have you called Uncle Daniel?”

Rebecca sighed. “No. I was thinking about leaving a message at the shop.”

“You should.” Her niece nodded toward the phone. “Do you want me to dial?”

“I guess so.” Rebecca sat on the bed.

Lindsay dialed the phone and handed it to her.

Rebecca cleared her throat while the answering machine picked up and Eli spoke, telling the caller to leave a message after the beep. Once the beep sounded, Rebecca spoke.

“Hello. This is Rebecca. I wanted to tell Daniel that Jessica is fine.” She closed her eyes and searched for the right words. “We’re planning on leaving to come home tomorrow. We’ll see you sometime tomorrow night.” She then disconnected and replaced the phone in the cradle.

When she turned to her niece, she found the girl staring at her with her eyes wide with confusion.

“Why didn’t you tell him that Jessica is staying here?” Lindsay asked.

“I’ll tell him when the time is right.” Rebecca turned the covers down on the bed.

“Why are you afraid to tell him?” her niece asked.

“I’m not afraid.” Rebecca lowered herself onto the bed. “I just feel it would be best to tell him in person.”

Lindsay fingered the cuff on her plain white gown. “Can I stay in here?”

“Of course.” Rebecca patted the space next to her. “Turn off the light and get in.”

Her niece flipped off the light switch, climbed into the bed next to her, and snuggled down.

Rebecca shifted in the bed until she found a comfortable spot. Her thoughts swirled, wondering if she’d made the right decision and how Daniel would react when he learned that Jessica wasn’t returning with them. She pondered if he’d ever open up to her and accept her back into his heart. She prayed their marriage would heal and their family would return to normal.

Her thoughts then turned to Lindsay and her happiness. Would Lindsay regret her decision to stay in Bird-in-Hand? She wondered if separating the girls was what Grace would truly want.

Rebecca sighed as confusion and doubt overtook her. She needed her husband’s support. Making these decisions alone was a mistake.

“Aunt Rebecca,” Lindsay whispered through the dark.

“
Ya?
” Rebecca asked.

“I want you to know I think you did the right thing by letting Jessica stay.”

Rebecca was speechless for a moment while she considered if her niece had read her thoughts. “
Danki
,” she finally said. “I appreciate that.”

“I’ll miss my sister, but I think it’s best for her to stay here.”

“What about you?” Rebecca turned toward her, wishing she could see the girl’s expression through the darkness. “Are you certain you want to come back to Bird-in-Hand with me?”

“
Ya
.” Lindsay said. “I’m sure. I want to be with you. I feel like the Kauffmans are my family now. Besides, I’ll see my sister plenty. I’m sure she’ll come to visit to see Jake. I think they belong together, but they haven’t figured it out yet.”

Rebecca smiled and touched Lindsay’s arm through the dark. “I think you’re right. You’re wise beyond your years, young lady. Now, get some sleep. We have a long ride home tomorrow after your sister is settled here.”

“Good night.”

“Good night.” Rebecca closed her eyes and smiled. She looked forward to getting Jessica settled and then heading home. Turning her thoughts to prayer, she thanked God for helping her see the answers that had been there all along.