A Gift of Grace (28 page)
Authors: Amy Clipston
D
aniel scanned the shop for his father while a table saw buzzed on a neighboring workbench. The stench of burning metal stung his nostrils. Glancing across the large room, he spotted Jake speaking to Peter and Timothy.
“Jake,” Daniel bellowed, raising his voice over the bang of hammers and whizzing of the table saw behind him. “Have you seen my
dat
?”
“Yeah.” Jake gestured toward the front of the store. “He’s out front with a customer.”
The scent worsened, and Daniel shook his head. Couldn’t Silas smell that? He glared toward the older man. “Silas!” Daniel yelled.
The middle-aged man stopped sawing and gave Daniel a confused look.
“Can’t you smell that?” Daniel asked, raising his arms in question.
Silas sniffed and then nodded.
“Turn that saw off before you burn down the shop.” Daniel gestured toward his workbench. “Use mine if you like.”
“
Danki
, Daniel.” Silas schlepped over to Daniel’s work area and snatched his saw.
Daniel blew out a frustrated sigh on his way to the front of the shop. He sometimes wondered how aware of their surroundings his coworkers were. Their disregard for safety often made his stomach sick.
Stepping into the front of the shop, Daniel found his father helping a customer while the phone rang. He rushed over and answered the call, quoting prices and product information before disconnecting.
“
Danki
, Daniel,” his father said after the customer left the store. “It’s been like that all morning.” He wiped his brow. “I don’t know how Jessica kept up with the customers and stayed sane.”
A tidal wave of guilt crashed over Daniel at the mention of his niece’s name. He frowned and cut his eyes to the desk, hoping to avoid his father’s questioning glance.
Daniel had been struggling with how to apologize to his wife ever since she and Lindsay had arrived back in Lancaster a week ago.
He blamed himself for how badly Jessica’s short stay in Lancaster County had unfolded. Over and over, he wished he had stood up to his brother and the bishop on Jessica’s behalf. However, he still believed that Jessica belonged back with the English. She wasn’t happy here and never would be despite Rebecca’s best efforts to show the girl love and support.
He hadn’t realized, though, how much he’d hurt Rebecca until the night she returned from Virginia. His heart had broken into a million pieces when she uttered the words, “You got your wish.” The pain on her beautiful face and the hurt in her gorgeous eyes stung him deep in his soul.
He’d wanted to beg for her forgiveness, and he longed to tell her that he loved her. He needed her to know that he supported her decision to let Jessica stay in Virginia and he only wanted what was best for the girls. Yet, the realization of how much he’d hurt her rendered him speechless. The words never formed in his mouth; they were stuck in his throat.
He’d continued to spend each night on the sofa. He never slept; he simply stared at the shadows on the ceiling and turned over ways to express how much he loved her and wanted to start over.
Now, a week later, the pain was so deep and so raw in her eyes that he feared he’d lost her forever. If only he could form the words to apologize.
“Daniel?” his father’s voice wrenched him back to the present.
“
Ya?
” He glanced at his father.
“You okay?”
Dat
asked.
Daniel paused, gathering his thoughts. “
Dat
, have you and
Mamm
ever disagreed on things? I mean
really
disagreed to the point where it affected your relationship?”
Dat
chortled as he sank onto the desk chair. “Are you joking? Of course we have. Why do you ask?” His expression became solemn. “Are you and Rebecca still having problems?”
Daniel nodded. “I guess you could say that. I’ve hurt her, and I’m not sure how to fix things between us. I’m worried I may have lost her forever.”
Dat
stood and patted Daniel’s shoulder. “Son, I doubt you lost her forever.”
“
Nee
, I think I have.” Daniel sat on the desk, absently pulling on his beard. “You should see how she looks at me. It’s like her love for me is dead. She despises me.”
“Rebecca loves you. If you can’t see that, tell her you’re sorry. Tell her how you feel.”
Dat
gave him a weak smile. “Your mother and I have had our ups and downs. We were always careful to keep our problems to ourselves, so that you and your siblings never worried about us. I learned over the years to always remind her that no matter what, I loved her. Saying those words got us through the tough times.”
Daniel contemplated
Dat’s
words, resting his chin on his hand. “That makes sense. I need to find the right words.”
“Speak what’s in here.”
Dat
pointed to his chest. “The words will come to you if you listen to your heart.”
Daniel smacked his father’s shoulder. “
Danki
.”
“But that’s not it.” His father waved a finger in the air for emphasis. “If you remember one thing, remember this—marriage is a compromise.”
“A compromise?” Daniel folded his arms across his chest.
“
Ya
, that’s right. A compromise.”
Dat
rubbed his long beard. “As the Bible says, a woman should submit to her husband—but I think the man should submit to his wife as well.”
Daniel stared at
Dat’s
tired eyes. He felt as if a light had been awakened within him. Never before had he thought of marriage as a compromise.
Now he understood what he needed to do to win her back—he needed to listen to her, respect her opinions, and love her with all of his heart.
A scream from the shop startled Daniel. He stuck his head in the doorway just as an explosion shook the building. Daniel fell backward, slamming his back into the desk. He turned to his father and found him staring wild-eyed at the door.
Smoke filled Daniel’s lungs and he choked on his words for a moment. “Call nine-one-one,” Daniel yelled through the smoke quickly filling the room. “Call now!”
Standing, Daniel staggered toward the door while smoke stung his eyes. He cupped his hands over his mouth and made his way into the shop.
Smoke blurring his vision, he dropped to his knees and crawled toward the silhouette of a body on the floor. “Hello?” he called. “Is anyone there? If you can hear me, get out of the building! Get out now!”
Rebecca removed another Shoo-Fly pie from the oven and set it on the cooling rack. Wiping her hands on her apron, she closed her eyes while another wave of nausea gripped her.
“You okay?” Beth Anne asked, rushing over and taking Rebecca’s arm. “Have a seat.” She steered Rebecca to a stool and helped her sit.
Rebecca took deep breaths and fanned her face with her hands. “I don’t understand it. This is the second time this morning I’ve felt like I was going to be sick.”
A grin formed on her sister-in-law’s lips.
“What?” Rebecca asked. She took deep breaths until the feeling subsided.
“Are you expecting?” Kathryn asked with a grin.
“Rebecca?” Sarah rushed over. “You’re pregnant?”
“
Nee!
” Rebecca held her hands up. “Please. I just have a stomach flu. No one said anything about me being pregnant. Please don’t say that.” A frown turned down her lips. “Daniel and I have tried for fifteen years. I doubt that it could happen now.”
“They say that it happens when you stop expecting it,” Kathryn said with a coy smirk.
“
Ya
, but we stopped hoping for it years ago when the doctor told us that it was impossible.” Rebecca started to stand and stopped when a dizzy spell overcame her. Groaning, she put her hands to her face and shut her eyes, hoping that the horrible dizzy and queasy feelings would subside.
“She’s pregnant,” Beth Anne whispered.
“
Ya
,” Kathryn chimed in. “I think so.”
“I’m not pregnant,” Rebecca said. “It’s not possible. I just have the flu.”
Kathryn turned to her youngest sister. “How are you feeling, Sarah? Has your morning sickness gotten any better?”
Sarah shrugged. “
Ya
. It’s not so bad. I still feel sick but not as often.”
The muffled sound of a ringing phone sounded from the front of the store.
“How are things with Peter?” Rebecca asked. “You’d told your mom that he was acting strangely and cold.”
Sarah frowned. “He’s the same. It’s like he’s a different person. I’m really concerned.”
“Girls!” Elizabeth’s urgent voice interrupted Rebecca’s thoughts. “We must leave at once!”
Rebecca spun, facing her mother-in-law’s panicked expression.
“I just got a call from Irma Zimmerman,” she said. “The furniture store is on fire.”
“What?” Beth Anne gasped.
“On fire?” Kathryn asked. “Is
Dat
okay?”
Feeling lightheaded, Rebecca’s stomach dropped. “Daniel,” she whispered.
“Peter!” Sarah cried.
“I’ve already locked up. Nina Janitz, one of our regular English customers, is going to drive us over there. Let’s go!” Elizabeth hollered, rushing out the back door.
T
he thick black smoke billowed into the air as the van sped closer to the furniture store. When the sight of the building engulfed in flames came into view, Rebecca gasped. Terror and panic rioted within her while the flashing lights from the half-dozen fire trucks blinded her.
The van screeched to a stop, and Rebecca and Sarah leaped to the sidewalk. They rushed into the knot of people standing near a line of police officers.
“Daniel!” Rebecca shouted. “Daniel!” She searched the sea of faces for her husband.
“Ma’am,” a police officer took her arm and pulled her back. “You need to stay back here. You can’t get any closer to the building.”
“My husband’s in there!” Rebecca’s body trembled and tears threatened. “I have to find him. I have to see him. I have to—” Her voice cracked as tears trickled from her eyes.
“Shh.” A strong arm pulled her close. “The firefighters will get him out.”
She glanced up into Jake’s eyes. “Jake,” she whispered. “I’m so frightened.”
“I know.” He rubbed her arm. “Me too.”
“Is he still inside?” She wiped her eyes while she stood before him. The scent of burning wood filled her nostrils, and her body trembled with fear.
He nodded. “I think so. I saw Mr. Kauffman, Timothy, and a few of the guys, but I haven’t seen Daniel, Silas, or Peter.”
“Where’s Peter!” Sarah grabbed Jake’s sleeve and shook him. Her eyes were wild with panic. “Where is he? I can’t find him.”
“The firefighters are working to get everyone out,” Jake said. His voice quavered, and he cleared his throat. He looked as worried as Rebecca felt.
“He’s inside?” Sarah bit her lip and tears streamed down her cheeks. “He has to be okay! He has to. He just has to.” She sobbed, hugging Rebecca.
Rebecca held on to her sister-in-law and closed her eyes. She prayed for her husband and the rest of the men to be delivered from the fire safely.
Gazing toward the building, Rebecca watched in horror as the roof on the back of the building collapsed, shaking the ground beneath her feet. She screamed.
“Daniel!” She pushed past Sarah and rushed toward the building. “Daniel! No!”
“Rebecca! Rebecca wait!” A strong arm held her back and Jake gazed down at her. “He’ll be fine. I promise you.”
“No.” She shook her head while tears poured from her eyes. “This can’t be happening. He can’t die. We have too much to work out. I need to tell him I’m sorry for being so stubborn and not listening to him. I need to tell him that no matter what, I love him and how much our life together means to me. He can’t die. He just can’t!”
She sobbed into Jake’s chest while memories of how she and Daniel courted and then married poured down over her. She loved him so much that her heart ached for him. She longed to feel his arms around her and hear his voice in her ear while they snuggled in bed at night.
“Aunt Rebecca.” Lindsay’s timid voice yanked her back from her thoughts. “Aunt Rebecca. Is Uncle Daniel in there?”
Unable to speak, Rebecca studied her niece’s eyes and nodded.
“Oh no.” Tears spilled down Lindsay’s pale cheeks. She hugged Rebecca, and they cried while holding onto each other.
“Rebecca,” a voice in her ear said. “Rebecca. It’s Daniel.”
Rebecca spun and wiped her cheeks while Daniel walked toward her, a firefighter on each side of him, holding onto his arms. His dark blue shirt was tattered and black with soot. His blond hair and beard were peppered with dirt and black streaks lined his handsome face.
His gaze met hers, and his expression softened. He opened his arms to her, his eyes glistening with tears.
“Daniel!” She ran toward him and wrapped her arms around his neck. “Oh Daniel,” she whispered in his ear. “I was so scared!”
“Oh,
mei Fraa
,” he whispered, holding her close to his lean body. “
Mei
Becky. I’m so sorry. I love you more than words can express. I’m so sorry for everything.”
“No, I’m sorry,” she said, her voice quavering with the love and relief surging through her. “I was so wrong not to listen to you. I was wrong not to listen to Jessica and realize what was best for her.”
He gazed down at her, his fingers tracing her face. “I’m sorry for forcing you to let Jessica go. I never realized how it hurt you.”
“But I was wrong, not you. I wasn’t listening to what you and Jessica were trying to tell me. I wasn’t listening to God. I was so, so wrong. It wasn’t God’s will for her to stay here and be unhappy. I was so very wrong. I’m sorry for hurting you.” She ran her hand down his cheek, wiping away the soot. “I love you, Daniel. I want to start over.”
“
Ya
.” He cupped her face with his hands. “Me too.” Leaning down, he brushed his lips across hers, sending warmth and hope surging through her body.
Rebecca glanced around, silently counting the men who were gathered near the ambulances. They were all covered in soot, their faces and beards blackened with evidence of the fire. Biting her lip, Rebecca realized who was missing.
“Peter,” she whispered, staring at her husband. “Where is he?”
Daniel shook his head. “I don’t know. I didn’t see him.”
“Excuse me,” a voice behind her said. “We need to make sure you’re okay, sir.” An Emergency Medical Technician nodded toward the ambulance.
“But where is Peter?” she asked, her heart hammering in her chest.
“We’ll find him.” He touched her cheek. “I’ll be right back.” Daniel glanced down at Rebecca. “You go make sure
Mamm
and Sarah are okay.”
“Okay.” She brushed her lips to his. She then watched him walk over to the ambulance, silently praying and thanking God for delivering him safely from the fire.
A scream sounded behind them, and Rebecca spun to see Sarah sobbing and holding onto her mother. Her father stood nearby rubbing Sarah’s back. Rebecca rushed over and touched her mother-in-law’s arm. Elizabeth glanced up and Rebecca gasped at the pain in her eyes.
“Peter perished in the fire,” her mother-in-law whispered. “The firefighters found his body. He’s gone.”
“No,” Rebecca said, shaking her head. “No, no! It can’t be!”
“What happened?” Timothy asked, stomping up to Rebecca and looking from her to his mother and sister. He was covered in soot like Daniel.
“Peter died in the fire,” his
mamm
said, her eyes filling with tears.
“Peter?” Timothy grimaced. “Peter’s gone?”
“
Ya
,” Elizabeth said, wiping her cheek.
Timothy embraced Rebecca and they sobbed together. Closing her eyes, Rebecca prayed for her lost brother-in-law and his family.
Rebecca pulled on her nightgown and lowered herself into the chair in her bedroom. She pulled the pins out of her bun, letting her hair fall to her waist. While running the brush through it, she silently prayed Sarah would find strength and hope in the coming days.
The funeral earlier today had been draining. Sarah had been so distraught that Rebecca’s heart broke for her. She wished somehow the hands of time would turn back, and Peter would be saved. But Rebecca knew that wasn’t how life worked.
The door creaked open and Daniel stepped in, clad in his nightclothes. His eyes met hers, and his stern expression softened, causing her heart to pound in her chest. She was so thankful to have her husband back.
Biting her lower lip with anticipation, she idly ran her hand over her stomach and wondered if now was the appropriate time to share her news. Perhaps some good news would be welcome in light of the tragedy that had unfolded.
At the insistence of Beth Anne, Rebecca had used a pregnancy test yesterday after she’d returned from visiting Sarah. When the plus sign appeared, Rebecca was filled with a radiating joy like she’d never felt in her life.
However, she immediately felt guilty for harboring such happiness while Sarah was experiencing such pain. Guiltily, she’d kept the secret between her and Beth Anne.
Now that the funeral was over, she longed to tell her husband the news. Still, she worried he was too upset about Peter to focus on their blessing.
“I can’t believe I buried Peter today,” Daniel said, crossing the room and standing beside Rebecca. “It just doesn’t seem real somehow.” He ran his fingers over her shoulders, sending warmth down her back.
“
Ya
, I know.” She pressed her cheek against his hand and sighed. She was so thankful that he’d survived the fire with nothing more than bruises and minor burns. She only wished Sarah had experienced the same blessing.
“I’m worried about Sarah,” he said, moving his fingers to her cheek. “She’s so fragile now. I wish there was something we could do for her.”
“I’m glad she’s staying with your parents,” Rebecca said, gazing up in his eyes. “She needs your
mamm
right now.”
“
Ya
.” He sighed and shook his head. “It’s like some bad dream. We’ll begin cleaning the debris tomorrow. The shop is a total loss. It will take several months to rebuild. My father is very distraught over it.”
“Have they determined the cause?” she asked.
“
Ya
.” He sighed. “Silas’s table saw caught fire. When he tried to stop it, he panicked and knocked over a kerosene lamp. The lamp hit the floor, ignited an oily rag, and caused the explosion. Peter was trying to help Silas.” His voice was thick.
He cleared his throat and shook his head. “It’s all so unreal.
Dat
and Milton built that place with their bare hands before I was even born.”
“I’m so sorry.” She took his hands in hers and squeezed them. “With God’s help, we’ll get through this.”
He squatted before her, lowering his face to hers, and the corners of his mouth turned up in a sad smile. “
Ya
, Becky. You’re right. It’s been a crazy couple of months, no?”
“
Ya
,” Rebecca said. “But Lindsay is doing well. She’s a blessing at the bakery.”
“Have you heard from Jessica?” he asked.
“
Ya
. I talked to Trisha yesterday. Jessica’s foot is healing well, and she’s connected with some old friends. She’s very happy. We made the right decision letting her stay in Virginia.”
“
Gut
.” He pushed a lock of her hair behind her ear and then leaned forward. His warm lips brushed hers, sending the pit of her belly into a wild swirl. He suddenly broke the kiss. Sitting back on his heels, he studied her, the intensity in his eyes making her mouth dry.
“You’re beautiful,” he whispered.
“Beauty is vanity,” she whispered.
“
Ya
.” He laughed. “But you still are.”
She sucked in breath, wondering if now was the time to share the news.
“What’s on your mind, Becky?” He squeezed her hands. “You need to open up to me, not let things fester. We both know what silence can bring.”
She nodded and licked her lips. “I have something to tell you, but I’m not sure if now is the time.” Self-doubt robbed her confidence. She looked down and fingered her nightgown to avoid his probing stare.
“Please tell me. I promise I’ll listen.” He pushed another lock of hair back, and she breathed in his fresh scent when she met his gaze.
“We’re going to have a baby, Daniel. We’re going to have our own
baby
.”
His eyes widened. “What did you say?”
“I’m pregnant,” she whispered.
Gasping, he stood, took her hands, and lifted her to her feet. “We’re going to have a baby?”
“
Ya
. It’s a miracle!” She laughed as he picked her up and spun her around.
“This is a
wunderbar
miracle! A blessing!” His grin glowed in the flicker of the kerosene lamp. “How long have you known?” he asked, still keeping his hands around her waist.
“Beth Anne insisted I take a test yesterday, and it was positive. I plan to see the midwife next week.” Her smile faded.
“I was afraid to tell you since the funeral was today. I didn’t feel right celebrating our news when Sarah has so much sorrow.” She drew imaginary circles on his hard chest.
He lifted her chin so their eyes met. “
Mei Fraa
, you should never be afraid to tell me anything. I’ll always listen. Always.”
His lips met hers again, and she closed her eyes, losing herself in his touch.