A Glimpse of the Dream (19 page)

Her words were turning disjointed from exhaustion, even though they touched me and gave me hope. But she needed to focus on getting stronger. Her eyes were already having trouble staying open.

“Are you staying?” she asked.

“Until you are better, yes.”

“That’s good, the family’s together. Kane . . .” she said.

“Would you like me to ask him to come see you?”

“Secret . . . can’t keep it.”

“I already figured it out, so you didn’t tell his secret.”

“No, not his secret. My lawyer . . . Lawson.”

I thought her lawyer was Falco. Glancing at the heart monitor, I saw her pulse soaring. Trying to reassure her, I vowed, “Lawson and secret. I’ve got it.”

The nurse appeared, eyeing me like I was somehow upsetting Mrs. Marks.

“She’s trying to tell me something, and it’s getting her upset.”

Gentleness replaced the woman’s censure. “That happens. Her mind is working, but her body isn’t on the same page. She’s getting stronger every day. She’ll be able to tell you whatever it is she needs to soon enough.”

“Did you hear that, Mrs. Marks? Just rest now. I’m not going anywhere.”

She seemed to hear me. Her hand loosened around mine and her eyes closed.

“She’s sleeping now and will probably sleep through the night,” the nurse said.

“See you tomorrow. Mrs. Marks.” Pressing a kiss on her forehead, my lips lingered there.

Stepping out of her room, my head was spinning.
Who was Lawson? What secret?

“Are you going to see this Lawson guy?” Simon asked.

“Yeah, though I’m not really sure how to start that conversation, since it’s unlikely her lawyer is going to share a secret with me. Isn’t that against what they do?”

“It would seem.”

Let’s go talk to Mr. Clancy. He knows Mrs. Marks the best, so maybe he knows something about this secret. If nothing else, he can probably lend some insight into who Lawson is.”

“I like this plan. Wonder what Mrs. T is making for dinner.”

Even with all the conflicting emotions I was feeling, I laughed. “I’m really glad you’re here.”

Wrapping his arm around my shoulders, we started down the hall. “Me too.”

“Mr. Clancy, we need your help.” I’d found him in the kitchen, sipping a cup of tea. Mrs. T was baking something that smelled divine.

“Mrs. T, we need to talk about whatever that is you’re making,” Simon practically purred and off he went, right to her side, hoping for a sample. He was ridiculous.

Pulling the chair out next to Mr. Clancy, I dropped my elbows on the table and sighed. “First, I know the secret.”

“It’s about time.”

Mr. Clancy actually sounded disgruntled, which earned him a smile. I wanted to talk to him about Kane, but first I needed help. “When I visited Mrs. Marks, she mentioned that she had a secret she needed to tell Kane, and mentioned Lawson. Who’s that?”

“Her lawyer.”

“I thought Mr. Sleazy was her lawyer.”

He nearly choked on his tea. When his face was no longer pink from lack of oxygen, he actually grinned. “You don’t like him either.”

“No, like you, I don’t trust him. He seems slippery. How did Mrs. Marks find him?”

“He was recommended by Mr. Lawson’s law firm. Lawson has been her lawyer for thirty years, but he’s semiretired, keeping only a handful of clients, and Mrs. Marks is one of them. Mr. Sleazy, I’m guessing, assists Mr. Lawson so the firm is up to date on her affairs. When Lawson retires fully, the transition to the new lawyer will be a smooth one for Mrs. Marks.”

“Wonder what Lawson thinks of Mr. Sleazy. Where does Lawson live?”

“He has a small cottage at the other end of town.”

“What do you think it is Mrs. Marks needs to tell Kane?”

Curiosity crossed his face. “Not sure.”

“So the question is, do I talk to Lawson or should I tell Kane, since whatever this is about, it’s about him?”

“Tough one—he’s been through so much already. I’d hate for him to have something more dumped on him.”

“My feelings exactly. So should I visit Mr. Lawson?”

“Neither situation is ideal, but yes, I think it should be you. I believe Kane would want you to tell him whatever it is Mrs. Marks needs to share.”

Sitting back in my chair, I studied Mr. Clancy from across the table. “I’m not so sure Kane wants me anywhere near him. I understand now why you all stayed silent. Mrs. Marks said he made you promise.”

“Yes. He didn’t want that life for you.”

“Can you tell me what it’s been like for him? He’s not feeling particularly chatty, at least not with me.”

Simon settled next to me, as if he knew I was going to need his support.

Mr. Clancy placed his cup back on its saucer, his smile fading as his expression turned a bit solemn. “In the beginning, we all just waited for him to die.” He reached for my hand. “We weren’t here at the house, because we stayed close to Kane, spent most of the early weeks at the hospital, leaving only to shower at a nearby hotel. There had been so much damage to his body, the doctors were sure infection would set in before his body ever had time to heal. He was isolated to prevent germs from doing what we all feared. He was put into a coma for the first few weeks, and, after, when he was conscious again, the nurses told us he called out to you, often.”

My heart squeezed, the pain caused by Mr. Clancy’s words stealing my breath.

“To everyone’s surprise, he survived and grew stronger, and that’s when they started skin grafts. He had so many surgeries and recoveries, and yet he got through all of them. He was released from the hospital almost a year after the fire and brought here. He stayed in your room, found it like he was sighted and wouldn’t leave it for months. He mourned the loss of you. I think he still does.

“Mrs. Marks grew concerned because, though his body was healing, his soul wasn’t. That was when she had the house built on the island; she even tried to get him involved with it, but not being able to see, he only grew frustrated.” Mr. Clancy’s inhale sounded like it pained him. “He had the plans for your house drawn up, Teagan, while you started school. It was why he needed the time before moving with you to Boston. He was working with an architect on your house. And, even knowing he had months before he could join you, he’d packed up his room so he could leave as soon as the plans were done.”

Those words started to crack the walls surrounding my heart. I’d thought he was unsure about our future, when really he’d been working on building our future. I was a fool. “I didn’t know that.”

“When you came back after school and had the falling out with him, we thought we had lost him. He plunged so far into himself that he was unreachable. For almost a year, we had to sit and watch as he died a little each day. I honestly don’t know what the trigger was, but one day he got out of bed. Started memorizing the floor plan of his home. Kane had been seeing a therapist quite regularly after he returned home, but she wasn’t having an impact on him, because he didn’t want to hear it. When his attitude changed, so did their sessions, and he just soaked up what she had to say to him. She helped him to understand his blindness and how he needed to learn to live in the world again.”

“Can he see anything?”

“No, only darkness. When he was ready to face the reality that he would never see again, we poured over the websites the therapist recommended to us. Activities we take for granted can be unimaginably hard when you’re blind. And it isn’t just the lack of sight that’s an adjustment, but the reality that you’ve lost your independence. In order for Kane to accept his blindness, we needed to help him get to a place where he didn’t feel so dependent. We ordered the Braille labels so that Kane could feel his way around the house. We also added washable labels to his clothes so he wouldn’t need help dressing, and purchased talking clocks so he would know the time. Even little changes like installing the soap dispensers in his bathroom, which are easier for him to use, and, as an added benefit, he wasn’t fumbling around with bottles, a tripping hazard if he should drop one, made him feel more in control. And then we organized both his house and this one. We put everything in specific locations, so he knew where to locate what he needed; we cleared the floor, adding measures for his safety, and eventually got Zeus. He was so motivated to not be a burden that he even worked with Silas Miller from the boatyard, figuring out how to navigate the boat from the island to the beach on his own. The markers and wire from the island to the beach are there for him. Silas rigged something so Kane’s boat travels along that wire. When he feels tension, he knows he’s deviated from the course. The first time he appeared in the kitchen, having come from the island on his own in that boat, I swear we all cried.

“People in town know. They think of him as a hero for saving Kathy O’Malley and almost dying in the process. Because of that, people have respected his wish to be left alone. No one pushes. We all take what he’s willing to give. He wears your ring around his neck.”

Wiping my eyes, I held Mr. Clancy’s stare, but I was confused. I hadn’t seen my ring. I wasn’t even sure it had made it back. I’d mailed it home after learning from Mrs. Marks that Kane had really moved on. “I had to take it to the jeweler—the prongs needed to be tightened.” He reached for my hand. “He understood, Teagan. He understood why you gave it back. He’s come a long way, but he was such a confident young man, so independent, and he isn’t anymore. That’s an adjustment for anyone, but he’s also very proud, so it’s doubly hard for him.”

“When I came home after college and saw him so angry and bitter, I couldn’t believe the change in him. I even called Mrs. Marks and demanded to know what had happened to turn the beautiful boy he had been into such a hard man. Now that I know he’s blind, I keep trying to imagine what these years have been like for him, and I can’t get my head around it. And as terrible as it is to say, I don’t even want to know what it was like. The thought of him in so much pain . . . it hurts so much to know all this time he wasn’t living the dream, that he hadn’t moved on, that he was isolated and in the dark. I hate knowing that he’s hiding from life, hiding from me.”

“Don’t let him.” Mr. Clancy’s words made it sound so simple.

“Kane was as stubborn as a mule, and I suspect he’s even more so now.”

“True, but that never stopped you before.”

“He doesn’t want me anymore, Mr. Clancy, and I just know that if I spend any time with him, I’m going to fall just as hard as I did when we were kids. I can’t have my heart broken again. I almost didn’t survive it the last time.”

He reached across the table and took my hand. “He loves you, he never stopped. His body has healed, but his soul is still hurting, and there is only one person who can heal that. I hate what brought you home, but I’m glad you’re here. He needs you. Once upon a time, he walked into your room and comforted the little girl you were. He needs you to do that for him now.”

Teagan

“Are you sure this is going to work?” Simon was dubious, which I totally didn’t get, since my idea would have worked on him.

“Yes.”

“He doesn’t really seem the type.”

“Trust me.” Stepping off the boat, we were greeted by Zeus, who came running down to the beach.

“Hey there, handsome. Your daddy around?”

Zeus started back up the beach, but my eyes were already looking toward the house where Kane stood on the front porch, leaning against the post.

Simon said, “You’re right; the house is the color of your eyes.”

“Teagan.”

How did he know it was me?
I wanted to ask, but now wasn’t the time. “Kane, I wanted you to meet Simon officially. Simon, this is Kane.”

Simon moved to Kane, who stepped off the porch and offered his hand. “Nice to meet you, Simon.”

“Likewise. I’ve heard a lot about you.”

“Nothing good, I’m sure.”

“Quiet the contrary, Teagan’s your biggest fan.”

An emotion flitted across Kane’s expression, but it was gone too fast for me to discern. “Do you need something?” he asked.

Nerves turned my stomach inside out. He sounded so remote. Now I wasn’t so sure my plan was going to work. It would have worked on my Kane, but I no longer knew this Kane. Yet we were here, so . . . “There’s a new bakery in town. They’re giving out free samples all day today. We are planning to go stuff our faces with cake. Want to come?”

Hope sparked when I saw the flash in his eyes. My Kane was in there. “Ah, I don’t think—”

“You shouldn’t think, nothing good ever comes from that.”

Simon’s head snapped to me, but my focus was completely on Kane
. Take the bait, Kane.
He wanted to, I could see it, and my heart felt a lightness I hadn’t experienced in far too long.

“Fine, we’ll eat it all without you. Mrs. T asked that I invite you to dinner. She’s making your fave—potpie. I helped her make yours.”

A slight grin, just the barest of lifts, but it was there.

“Come on, Simon, whoever eats the least cake has to help Kane with dishes tonight. Bye, Kane. See you later.” I called, walking backward, watching him. He didn’t go back inside. He stood there like he was conflicted.

“So?” Simon asked from my side.

“Progress. He grinned.”

“Saw that. Are we still going to the bakery?” he asked.

“Oh my God, you are . . . there are no words. Yes, we’re going to the bakery. I want cake and lots of it.”

“Race you to the boat,” he said.

Simon was getting a cooking lesson from Mrs. T. I wanted to go to Kane, but knew I needed to tread lightly, so instead I decided to visit the Lawsons out of restlessness. I didn’t tell Kane about Mrs. Marks’s request, because I agreed with Mr. Clancy that it might be best to see what the news was first. The town looked just like it had when I was younger. I loved Boston, loved the life I had created there. I’d been born just outside of Boston, but it wasn’t home. Maine was now my home.

Passing the diner, I saw a face I would be happy never to see again. Camille. She wasn’t alone. She was engaged in a conversation with a pretty blond who looked rather upset. It was so tense, I was half tempted to walk over to defuse the situation, but in the next minute, Camille turned and walked away.

The blond shifted, so I could see that she was crying. I didn’t recognize her, but that didn’t stop me from crossing the street toward her. When I was within speaking distance, I asked, “Are you okay?”

Her blue eyes turned to me, startled. “Teagan?”

Then I was the startled one. “Yes. Do I know you?”

“Oh, no, sorry. I’m Kathy O’Malley.”

My legs went numb, and a coldness swept through me. Bitterness, which was completely unfair for me to feel, moved through me. Bitterness that she was whole and healthy while Kane wasn’t. Not her fault, I knew, but I felt it anyway. “Hi.” It was all I had.

“I always wondered how this would go.”

Tilting my head, I studied her for a minute. “What do you mean by that?”

“If we ever met, I mean. I cost you so much.” Simply stated and so profoundly true. And yet it wasn’t really her who had cost us so much. Kane had assumed the risk when he’d signed up to be a volunteer firefighter.

“He knew what he was getting into, Kathy. I didn’t like it when he joined, but he knew the risks.”

“Doesn’t change the fact that he got hurt because he was saving me. I never should have been in that building.”

“You could probably find all kinds of ways to beat yourself up over it, but it won’t change the outcome. I think Kane, despite his injuries, takes satisfaction from the fact that he got you out. And knowing how he used to be, that’s what’s important.”

“That’s very generous of you to say.”

I wanted so badly to know what had happened, the minutes up to and including when it all went to hell. She apparently was a mind reader.

“I was in the kitchen. There had been a few of us, but they ran as soon as the fire started. I tried to put it out but I couldn’t. It spread so quickly. I really thought I was going to die. He appeared like some kind of superhero. He was smiling. I thought I was going to die until I saw that smile. He was trying to distract me, and so he told me we were going to be fine because he had a surprise for you and nothing, not even the fire, was going to keep him from giving it to you. He said something about a dream. He sounded so happy. I heard the crack before I saw the beam. He glanced up and pushed me so hard out of the way. I’ll never forget his face right before . . . it was like he knew.”

Tears welled and spilled down my cheeks. “Knew what?” My words got stuck in my tight throat.

Her eyes shone as bright as my own. “That with the falling of that beam, he had lost the dream.”

Closing my eyes, I just let the pain roll over me. It was the past, it was over, and yet in that moment I felt as if I was right there next to him, experiencing it with him. Wiping at my eyes, I tried to regain control, since dwelling on the past was painful and pointless. “He didn’t lose it, he just took a detour.”

She sounded hopeful. “Really?”

“I love him. I always have. He’s not there yet, but I’m nothing if not tenacious.”

“Oh, wait until I tell Dad.”

It was possible that Kane didn’t want anything to do with me, but if it helped her with her guilt, I had no problem with sharing my intentions. And they were my intentions. I lost him once, and I wasn’t about to lose him again. I’d give him time, but not a lot of it since he’d had nine years.

Changing the subject, I asked, “Are you okay?” She still had tears clinging to her lashes.

“I lost my job. I was managing a small clothing store, but the owners decided to retire. I’ve been with them since I graduated college.”

“Kind of like a family away from the family.”

“Yeah. They’re moving to Florida. I’m happy for them, but now I’m back to pounding the pavement.”

“I’m sure you’ll find something.” I didn’t want to ask, but I was dying to know: “Was that Camille I saw you talking with?”

“Yeah,” she said, disgust clearly lacing through her words. “I’ve known her my whole life. Our parents are close . . . She’s not had an easy time of it, failing out of school, the estrangement from her dad, but even still, she’s just so . . .”

So what? There was clearly more she wanted to say, but she didn’t. Instead she said, “I need to get home. I have to start looking for a new job. It was really nice to meet you. Could you tell Kane I said hi when you see him?”

Estranged from her dad, now that was interesting. I’d have to think on that later, but for now I said, “I will. It was nice to meet you too and don’t worry about the job, you’ll find something.”

Mr. Lawson’s house was a small saltbox cottage just off the beach. Painted a cheery yellow, with a white picket fence, it was charming. Two rocking chairs sat on the front porch; he and his wife probably rocked there in the evening. A stone path led to the front door. I knocked. A woman who looked to be in her late sixties answered. Mrs. Lawson, no doubt. Curious brown eyes stared out of a face with surprisingly few wrinkles, but I didn’t suspect surgery aided in that. Her white hair had been cut into a bob. She was petite, dressed in wool slacks and a pink cashmere sweater.

“Can I help you?”

“Is Mr. Lawson available?”

“Can I give him your name?”

“I’m Teagan Harper. I’m here about Mrs. Marks.”

Her face immediately softened. “Oh, please come in. How is she?”

“Better, getting stronger every day.”

“So relieved to hear that.” She led me out back to a flagstone patio surrounded by gorgeous garden beds filled with a riot of color.

“Are you the gardener?” I asked.

“No, that’s all Larry. There he is.”

He was coming from a shed, dressed in old jeans and a flannel shirt. It was hard to imagine this man being a lawyer, and then his eyes landed on me and I saw the intelligence. Interest rang from his words when he said, “Hello. Can I help you?”

“This is Teagan Harper, dear, she grew up at Raven’s Peak.”

“Oh yes, of course.” He gestured to the iron patio table with peridot cushions. “Please, let’s sit. My legs aren’t as steady as they used to be. Would you like something to drink?”

“No, thank you.”

“So how can I help you?”

“When I visited Mrs. Marks, she got very agitated about a secret that possibly had to do with Kane Doyle.”

His expression changed from friendly to pained. Leaning back in his chair, he ran a hand over his head. “I wondered.”

“Wondered what?”

“She hated keeping the secret about Kane from you. It ate her up, but she’s been keeping another secret for far longer. I wondered if she’d let that one go too.”

“Do you know what she’s talking about?”

“I do. The secret is about Kane’s mother.”

A coldness moved through me—anxiety, fear, and maybe a little anger. “Mrs. Marks has information on Kane’s mom?”

“Yeah.”

I stood, needing to pace. Kane did not need this. “Is it bad? He’s been through a lot already.”

“I’d rather I spoke to Kane about this. Does he know you’re here?”

“No, we weren’t sure what the news was, and he’s been through enough.”

“We?”

“Mr. Clancy and I.”

“Right. I understand, I do, but I think this is something he’s going to want to hear. Can you tell him when he’s ready to come see me?”

“Yes, but can you answer something for me?”

“If I can.”

“Does his mom have other children?”

“No.”

That was something. “Okay, I’ll tell him, but I can’t guarantee that he’ll come. He made peace with his mom’s desertion a long time ago.”

“I understand.”

“Since I’m here, I was wondering what you know about Mr. Falco?”

“What has he done?”

I didn’t expect that question. “You think him capable of doing something?”

“I’m not sure.”

Irritation moved through me. “So why is he working with you for Mrs. Marks?”

“He really isn’t. I’ve kept him on the periphery on purpose. My practice was merged with another, one where Mr. Falco was an associate. When I semiretired, the firm recommended him. They wanted someone shadowing me, so when I did fully retire they could take over with little effort.”