A Glimpse of the Dream (29 page)

“I don’t understand how she could have had a stroke when she’s being so closely monitored,” I said.

“My thoughts too,” Mr. Clancy said, his focus on the window. He was nervous or maybe scared. He and Mrs. Marks weren’t just employee and employer, they were friends, best friends, as near as I could tell. Covering his hand, I gave it a reassuring squeeze. “She’s going to pull through this.”

“I believe that too, I really do.”

Mrs. T chimed in. “I owe her a hundred bucks. She ain’t going let me slide with that.”

And just like that, the tension in the car dropped drastically.

Kane’s fingers linked through mine and I could feel his discomfort in the rigidness of his fingers.

“You okay?”

“It’s times like these that I really hate my blindness. Someone I love is in trouble and I feel completely useless.”

“There isn’t much for any of us to do.”

His voice took on an edge. “At least you can find the fucking building without needing help.”

How did I respond to that? I didn’t, just held his hand tighter in mine.

As soon as the car pulled up to the curb, we filed out and headed to the front desk. It took a good fifteen minutes for the doctor on call to come see us. What he had to say was better than I was expecting, however.

“She’s had a mild stroke, her left side is affected, and her ability to speak has been impaired. This could just be temporary—it most likely is—but we’ll know more by morning.”

“How did this happen? You ran all those tests. Weren’t you thinking she’d already had a mild stroke?” I demanded.

“She exhibited signs of a stroke, yes, but the tests all came back negative. What’s happened now isn’t uncommon, a piece of the clot that caused her heart attack traveled through her bloodstream to her brain. It happens, but the good news is the stroke was mild and so the effects will be minimal if not completely temporary.”

“Can we see her?”

“Only one visitor. Too many will be overwhelming to her.”

“You should go, Mr. Clancy,” Kane said, and Mr. Clancy didn’t hesitate to follow the doctor down the hall. “I’m going home.”

“What’s wrong, Kane?” I asked, but he ignored me.

“Sam?” Kane asked.

“I’m here.”

“I’ll come with you.” I said.

“You should stay.”

He barely got those words out before he turned and allowed Sam to lead him from the building.

I stood for a while in the same spot, my mind on Kane. One step forward, two steps back. I wanted him in my life and I knew he wanted the same, but maybe his blindness was just too big a hurdle for us to overcome. Maybe our love just wasn’t enough anymore. With a heavy heart, I sought out the others.

Kane

As soon as we were out of hearing distance, I told Sam, “I’m about to have an attack.”

“I’ll get you in the car.” Sam practically hauled me to the car, opening the door and helping me in, since he knew it was mere moments before I’d be fully consumed. I barely heard the door close before it was on me: pounding heart, sweating, pins and needles breaking out over my body, and the fear, the fucking fear that stole my breath. Lying back on the seat, I tried for calm, but I knew I’d have to ride it out.

“Are you okay, Kane?” Sam’s voice penetrated, the last of the sensations fading.

“How long?” Was that my voice?

“Almost fifteen minutes.”

Damn, that was definitely one of the longer ones. “Yeah, I’m okay. Thanks for getting me to the car. I didn’t want to freak everyone out, especially with Mrs. Marks in the condition she’s in.”

“Understood. You want to go back inside, or should I take you home?”

“I think home.”

“You got it.”

My legs were still unsteady by the time we reached home, so instead of going to my house, I decided to crash in Tea’s room. “Thanks, Sam.”

“Do you need anything?”

“No, I’m going to sleep, but thanks.”

I heard the lock on the front door click and felt the air stir when Sam pushed the door open. “I’ll head back to the hospital. You’ve got your phone right?”

“Yeah.”

Zeus greeted me at the door and assisted me up the stairs. Kicking off my shoes, I climbed into Tea’s bed and felt as Zeus settled in next to me before I was out.

When I woke, I knew Tea was in the room by her scent. “Tea?”

“Yeah, I’m here. You okay?”

She couldn’t have been wearing shoes, because I didn’t hear as she approached until I felt the bed dip as she settled next to me.

“How’s Mrs. Marks?”

“She’s good, the doctors were really happy with all her numbers this morning. Kane, what happened last night?”

I should have told her this already. I hadn’t because it was another sign of weakness. “Ever since the fire, I’m overcome with anxiety at times—panic attacks are what my therapist calls them.”

“Oh my God.”

“I didn’t mean to snap at you yesterday, but I really didn’t want to freak you out. I knew I didn’t have much time before I was completely overtaken by it.”

“What happens?” Her voice was soft, concern lacing through her words.

“It feels like a heart attack. You’re completely out of control for about ten minutes—your heart races, you feel numb or get pins and needles, you break out into a sweat or get the chills, and, even being unable to stop it, you are cognizant of what is happening.”

“That sounds horrible. How often do you get them?”

“I used to have one almost every week, but now they’re few and far between. In fact, it’s been a while since my last one. I’ve found that exercise really helps to reduce the occurrences, which is why I use my bar as often as I do.”

“Oh.”

“What?”

“I thought you were working out your anger issues.”

She knew me so well. “In the beginning I absolutely did, but now it’s more therapeutic. Except recently—” I stopped midthought. No need to go there.

“What were you going to say?”

“Nothing.”

“Kane, talk to me. Recently it’s more than therapeutic, so what’s causing the anger you need to work through?”

The words just tumbled out. “You and the men you’ve slept with. I’m having a hard time dealing with that.”

“I have slept with five men including you.” The sharpness of her voice was proof enough that she was pissed.

“Tea, you don’t . . .” And yet hearing that there had been four other men, I wanted to hunt them down and kill them.

“You’ll listen because you need to get over it. The first man was Erik. We dated for six months, four and half years after you broke up with me, six months after I learned that you were married. The second man’s name was Drake, we dated for a year, Donovan lasted five months, and then there was Colin, on and off again for two years. Every single one of them was sex. I didn’t love them, I didn’t want a life with them, but I enjoyed them. I’m not sorry for that, Kane. I was, I felt guilty that it was them and not you, but you know what? You’re the one who made your bed. Every action that’s happened after you broke my heart falls completely on your shoulders. You can’t change the past and you can’t change me. Just as you are not the same person, neither am I. I’ve slept with four other men, that’s who I am now. Deal with it.”

She was gone, her scent fading. “Tea.”

“No. Seriously, Kane, it’s enough. I was angry at the hospital, because I thought you were pushing me away again. But I can’t say that this is any better. You’re dealing with a panic disorder but you didn’t think to mention that? What would have happened if you’d had an attack when we were alone? Don’t you think that would have scared the shit out of me?

“You say you want a life with me, but you need to let me in, all the way. It worked for us before, because we held nothing back, but all you seem to want to do is hold back. And as far as the beauty of what we share, I never had that with anyone but you. Having sex and making love are two entirely different things. We make love, those men gave me sex—scratched an itch—nothing more. You want to move forward and leave the past in the past, then fucking starting living those words. I’m sorry your life turned out so far from how you saw it, I’m sorry you’ve endured all that you have, but you can only use your tragedy as an excuse for so long.”

I don’t know how the hell I found her as easily as I did, but I was out of the bed and across the room, pressing her between the wall and my body, in a heartbeat. Her muscles quickened against mine, but it wasn’t out of anger or fear, it was desire.

“Am I being unfair? Absolutely. I fucking love you, hell, I’m damn near obsessed with you. I have been ever since I heard you crying on the night you arrived.”

“And yet you cut me free.” Her voice was barely over a whisper.

“I never should have.”

“A point we can agree on.”

“I don’t want to linger in the past, but I can’t help my jealousy. Had it been me who’d slept with others, you can’t tell me that wouldn’t feel like acid burning in your gut.”

“It would, but I can’t change the past.”

“I know, and that’s why I work out the anger on my bar. Eventually, I’ll come to terms with it. I’ll never like it, but I’ll learn to accept it.”

“And in the meantime?”

“I want to love you so completely that those other guys are forgotten.”

“They already are, Kane. It’s only your taste I crave, your touch I seek, your body I want, and your heart that I need. You, only you, always you.”

My mouth slammed down on hers, my hands yanking her shirt over her head. Cupping her breasts, I licked the swells, teasing her nipples through the silk of her bra with my thumb. As I flipped the clasp, her breasts spilled out into my hands. There were so many fantasies that had sustained me over the years, so many visions of us that had haunted and teased me, and one of them was that I wanted to fuck her breasts, wanted my shaft cradled between them and the head in her mouth as she sucked me off.

My expression must have given me away. “What do you want, Kane?” I felt her soft hands on my face. “I told you I was all in and I am. I’m not holding back, not with anything. Tell me what you want?”

My hands tightened on her breasts. Without my saying anything, she seemed to understand and directed me to a chair.

“Sit,” she ordered.

And I did, happily. I felt when she dropped to her knees between my legs. Her fingers worked my zipper before she pulled the denim down my legs. We’d dressed so quickly earlier I hadn’t bothered with briefs. My eyes closed when her hand wrapped around me. I moaned when she moved closer, pushing me into her cleavage as she sucked the head of my dick into her mouth. My hands moved back to her breasts, pressing then together as my hips rocked and, coupled with her sweet, hot mouth working the tip, it wasn’t going to take me long. I heard her, the soft mewling in the back of her throat, and I knew she was getting off on pleasuring me. I didn’t deserve her, but she was mine. Her hands moved to my thighs, her fingers digging into the flesh, her head moving faster, her beautiful breasts cradling me and I came, loud and long. She swallowed and I growled.

“Stand up and take off your jeans and panties.” That came out as more of an order than I intended.

I heard the rustling of her clothes a few seconds before she said, “Okay.”

I stood and offered the chair. “Ass on the edge, Tea.” As soon as she took it, I dropped to my knees, spread her, and ate her until her scream nearly shattered the windows.

Teagan

Sitting on the floor in the library, resting between Kane’s legs as he reclined back against the sofa, contentment settled over me. The scene earlier in my room had been intense, but it had also been cathartic, tearing down the last of the unseen barriers that held Kane and me back. The road wasn’t going to be smooth all of a sudden, but at least we were both all in.

Zeus was on the sofa, stretched to take up most of it, his head resting against Kane’s thigh.

“So about the inn, what are you going to do with all of the collectibles? Seems risky leaving them out with so many passing through.”

“Agreed. Part of the house will be the residence for Mrs. Marks and the others. All the antiques will go with them.”

“I like that idea, that they’ll still be here but as permanent guests themselves.” Turning around so my arms could rest on his thighs, I said. “I really only was surprised before because you hadn’t mentioned this idea since we were kids. But I’m guessing you and Mrs. Marks have spoken about it far more often.”

“Yeah, after the fire, when I was finally on my feet again, I needed to get involved, keep busy. Even blind, I could sense them all slowing down. They’re in their eighties, and this house is a lot to keep up. Mrs. Marks and I discussed it. I knew I was going to need help setting it up, but it seemed like the perfect solution. They don’t have to move, and the money we’d make could keep the place going.”

“It’s brilliant, and you have your house, so you can escape all the people when it gets to be too much.”

His head dropped a degree, his eyes on where my hands rested on his legs. Though he couldn’t see them, he did feel them. “Our house, Tea. I want the dream, but that doesn’t mean I’m not scared of what comes next—of limiting you because I am limited with what I can do. I don’t want you to come to resent me. I don’t know if I’ll have the courage to leave what is familiar to me. I don’t know if I’ll ever have the strength of will to chase the dream with you. I’ve been lost a few times, right here in town, and I can’t tell you how debilitating it is.”

My throat tightened on hearing the insecurity and doubt he felt, another scar left from the fire. “After I saw your burns, learned you were blind, I tried to walk from my bed to the door with my eyes closed and nearly face-planted. Then I went into the west wing and tried to find my way to the door. I was so scared, wanted to open my eyes, but I knew you would never be free of the darkness. I never even found the door. I burned myself too.”

“What? Where?” I reached for his hand and brushed his fingers over the healing wound. “Why would you do that?”

“I was trying to see what it had been like for you. I couldn’t stand the pain, and it’s just a small burn. The thought of you . . . the pain, the darkness.” Tears welled in my eyes. “You say you don’t know if you’ll have the strength of will, but you already do. To have come as far as you have, overcoming all that you have, you leave me in awe.”

He pulled me into his lap, cradled my cheek with his hand, and kissed me. He molded his lips to mine, tasting and savoring. His other hand lifted to frame my face, and he kissed me deeper, his tongue sliding into my mouth to stroke my own. Straddling him, I reached for his shirt. His mouth pulled from mine to object.

“Don’t,” was all I said before discarding his shirt. My fingertips moved along his scarred skin. “Can you feel that?”

“Not in the sense you mean, but because it’s you, yes.”

My lips replaced my fingers. He inhaled, his fingers on my thighs tightening. Moving up his neck, my tongue ran along his jaw, my hands roaming over him, feeling him with my fingers like he now did with me. Trailing down his stomach, lower to the bulge pressing against his jeans, I rubbed him through the denim, heard the groan that rumbled up his throat. Like in our youth, my breasts felt fuller and the ache started. I needed him. I couldn’t wait another second to feel him inside me. I didn’t care that we were in the library, didn’t care that the door wasn’t locked.

Unzipping him, I pulled him free.

“Tea.”

“Please,” was all I said. His fingers curled around my waist, sliding my pants down my legs, only the one leg sliding off completely. Pushing my panties aside, he pushed up as I sank down. My moan couldn’t be stopped as he filled me so completely. For a moment we didn’t move, savoring being connected. Lifting up, he was almost completely out before I sank back down again. We found our rhythm as we slowly brought each other to climax. With all the times we had made love, this was the most profound. Wrapping me in his arms, still inside me, we stayed like that for a long time.

As I sat in the kitchen with Mrs. T, Simon came strutting in with Mr. Clancy right behind him.

“Look who I found loitering outside,” said Mr. Clancy.

Jumping from my spot at the table, I threw myself into Simon’s arms. “Hey.”

“Hey, sugar. How’s Mrs. Marks?”

“She’s good, better.”

“I’m happy to hear that.” He hugged me hard, his lips brushing over my ear to whisper, “I brought back a chocolate cake from Sunshine.”

Jerking away, I beamed. “We have to share with Kane.”

“Oh yes.”

He looked past me to the others. “Hello, Mrs. T. So, let’s discuss the feast you’re preparing in my honor.”

We were at Kane’s—Simon on the chair, Kane and me on the sofa. Sunshine’s cake was on the table, though mostly gone. Kane had me pressed so closely to him while he laughed at whatever it was Simon was talking about. I had never seen him so relaxed, smiling without reservation.

“My parents want to throw us a party at the shop.”

This comment from Simon pulled my wandering mind back to the conversation. “Why?”

“To say ‘Congratulations, you’re a success,’ appeasing their ever-present guilt. Who knows?” Simon’s parents took an active role in their son’s life and, by extension, mine.

“Not necessary, but it’d be good for business,” I said.

“That was my thought too.”

“Will you come?” I asked Kane and knew his answer as his body tensed next to mine.

“Never mind,” I whispered, not wishing to bring up a subject I knew we didn’t see eye to eye on.

“I’m going to crash on the sofa, you okay with that, Kane?”

“Yeah.”

Standing so Kane could follow, I moved around the table and kissed Simon good night. “See you in the morning.”

“Sleep well.” His eyes were twinkling more than usual. Idiot.

Back in Kane’s room, I stared at the pictures on his table. Maybe it was wrong of me to want him to leave what was familiar to him, but I did.

“Tea?”

“Yes.”

“I can sleep in the other room.”

“Why?”

“You’re mad.”

“I’m not mad. I just . . . I hate that I can’t share so much with you about my life. I can’t tell you how many times in the past nine years I’ve thought ‘Kane would love this’—a restaurant, a walk along the water, the sight of the sailboats anchored there.”

His words were so softly spoken. “I can’t see those sailboats.”

“Not with your eyes, but like you told me, you can see with more than your eyes, you can see with your heart and I’m your heart, Kane. I could give that to you.”

The door closed, the lock flipped, and then he was across the room. His hands framed my face, and his fingers threaded through my hair a second before his mouth sealed over mine. As soon as our lips touched, an electric jolt burned through me, starting where our lips were locked and traveling over every nerve from the very tip of my head to my toes. Shock and the most intense feeling of want kept me from reacting. His mouth was soft yet demanding, his taste was intoxicating, and his tongue insistent, running along my lips, tasting me with each pass. This was a different Kane, a more primal, wild Kane, and I loved that he was allowing himself to let go, that he was comfortable enough with me to let go. So consumed by him, I hadn’t realized I wasn’t kissing him back.

His voice sounded raw when he demanded against my lips, “Kiss me back.”

At those words, I snapped out of my sensory overload. Reaching around him to hold him close, my mouth opened, my tongue touching his. It wasn’t frantic, our kiss, even though that was how I was feeling, the overwhelming need to touch and taste every inch of him; it was more a leisurely exploration.

His fingers tightened on my scalp, then one of his hands moved to the back of my neck, applying pressure at the nape, which sent chills shooting down my spine. Forgetting everything except the man in my arms, I molded myself against his hard body as my hands moved under his shirt to touch him, the warm skin hard with muscle. In response, he trailed his hand down my back, along my spine, then over my ass to pull me hard against him.

His kiss was drugging, pulling me under into sweet oblivion. The moan that escaped my lips was a plea begging for more. He responded, taking the kiss deeper, sweeping my mouth with his tongue. Pressing me to him, he ground his hips against me while his mouth feasted on mine.

So consumed by what he was doing with his hands and mouth, I didn’t realize he had backed me up to the bed until I felt it hit the back of my legs. His fingers were working my nightgown strap, and with a good tug, my dress pooled at my feet. Without missing a beat, he cupped my breasts, his thumbs running over the nipples that were so hard they hurt. Pulling his mouth from mine, he looked hungry. Running his tongue over my nipple, his pulled it between his teeth, applying enough pressure to make the ache between my legs throb, before sucking me deep into his mouth. My knees went weak. Grabbing his arms to keep myself up, he moved to the neglected breast, turning me boneless with just his mouth.

“Touch me,” he commanded softly. Lifting his shirt over his head, I licked each one of the muscles of his six-pack, moving my mouth up and over him, kissing every inch of him. I felt his muscles quicken when I reached his scars, but he didn’t pull away. Working the snap of his jeans, I moved them down his legs, my hands sliding down his thigh muscles.

“Touch me.” Again the command, but since I wanted to touch him, I did. Palming him through his boxer briefs, I rubbed his hard length. Wanting to feel him, I pulled his briefs down and loved seeing him so hard with his need for me. Wrapping my hand around him, hard as steel and soft as velvet, I watched his face as I worked him.

Long fingers danced down my stomach and between my legs, I widened my stance so he had better access to the aching nub. His thumb moved over that pleasure point as his fingers slid lower and pushed into me. My hips moved, pushing him deeper, as my hand moved up that hard shaft, squeezing the tip before sliding back down. My stomach muscles tightened as his fingers brought me to the edge of orgasm. Swelling in my hand, his hips rocked along with mine and I wanted to feel him come, wanted to see his face, but he moved.

Tossing me onto the bed, he pounced so all that magnificent, muscled maleness surrounded me. Lifting my hips, he rubbed himself over my wet heat, focusing the tip on my aching nub. He pushed into me, only the tip, before pulling out. My body was clenching, desperate for him, and yet he continued to play, driving me crazy with his teasing.

His expression turned darker, his need overpowering his teasing. Lifting my hips, he slammed into me hard. So hard it hurt a bit, but the pain coupled with the pleasure had me spiraling into the most intense oxygen-depriving orgasm of my life. His thrusts were relentless, hard, fast, and deep, prolonging the pleasure just as he came, his body tensing and his muscles flexing. The low growl from deep in his throat was the sexiest sound I’d ever heard.