A Good Enough Reason (23 page)

“But you didn’t tell me you’re gay. Were you using me? Like, to make sure no one would find out?”

“I’m not gay, I’m bisexual. I really liked you, Steph, or I wouldn’t have stayed with you for so long.”

“But you like Ellis more.”

“Well, yeah. I tried not to, you know… get with him. I didn’t want to be different, to have to hide. But it became too much, and I decided to do the right thing. It would’ve been so easy for me to continue being with you and start something with him too.”

Stephanie rubbed a hand on her face and wiped the black mascara smudges under her eyes. “I know. I know you’re not the kind of guy who’d do that. I just wasn’t expecting it. It would’ve hurt seeing you with another girl too, but seeing you with a guy…. It was weird, and I was angry because you lied to me.”

“I know, and I’m sorry. I didn’t tell you because I never planned to start anything with a guy. I’ve never done anything with a guy, except for Ellis now, and I didn’t think I would, even though I, you know, like them.”

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have slapped you, especially not in front of half the school.”

Dale chuckled and touched his cheek. “Yeah. I bet they’re all wondering why you did it. I’m sure that by last period everyone will think I cheated on you with ten different girls or something.”

Stephanie grimaced. “I’d try to set people straight, but you know how it is.”

“Don’t worry. It’ll pass soon enough anyway. So, are you going to tell anyone?”

“No,” Stephanie said indignantly. “Do you really think I would tell anyone?”

“I had to make sure. Ellis wants to keep it a secret, at least for now.”

“What about you? What do you want?”

Dale shook his head. “Don’t know. It’s easier this way.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

They stared at each other for a few moments, and then Stephanie smiled. It wasn’t a full smile, but it was better than the angry expression from before. “I don’t know him, but he looks like a nice guy.”

“Yeah. He is.”

“I’m happy for you. And I’m sorry about the slap.”

“It’s okay.”

“I’m going to go.”

“Yeah.”

“So, see you around.”

Stephanie turned around and went to the door. She gave Dale one last smile before exiting the room and closing the door.

Dale sighed. It had gone well, considering the situation. He just wished he hadn’t been slapped, because it stung like a bitch.

DALE MADE
sure his bedroom door was locked and sat at his desk. He tapped his fingers on it and stared at the open browser page on his computer screen.

He and Ellis hadn’t talked about sex—yet—but he hoped they’d get there sooner or later, and he needed to know what to do. Not that he didn’t know, of course. Dale had watched plenty of gay porn since he’d realized he liked guys as much as he liked girls, but Ellis wasn’t a porn star.

Dale wanted to know exactly what he could or couldn’t do to make his boyfriend feel good when the time came. Besides, between the two of them, it was Ellis who had the most experience with guys, and Dale didn’t want to be left behind.

He clicked on his keyboard and researched gay sex. Thousands of results popped up, and Dale looked for the less porny ones. He also avoided the dry, scientific ones, because he didn’t want to read about penises and anuses.

It didn’t take him long to find a page he kind of liked, and as expected, he didn’t learn anything new, except for exactly where the prostate was. He briefly wondered how it felt to have it touched but decided he wasn’t quite ready for that.

The thought made him stop and actually think. Since he and Ellis hadn’t talked about sex yet, Dale couldn’t know for sure Ellis was okay with bottoming. For all he knew, Ellis expected Dale to be on the receiving side, and that idea frightened him.

He wasn’t sure he was ready for that, but then maybe neither was Ellis. Thinking about himself in that position felt weird, though. Maybe it was because with girls, Dale was obviously the one doing the penetrating part. It looked like a vulnerable position, and he understood why Ellis had waited to do it.

Maybe Dale should try to experiment on his own. He didn’t expect Ellis to do anything Dale wouldn’t do after all.

“Dale?”

Dale quickly closed his browser when his father knocked on the door. He was spending the week at his house because things with his mom were still tense, and Dale couldn’t stand it anymore. He was eighteen anyway, so she couldn’t stop him
even if
he decided to move in with his father. “Yes?”

“Can I come in?”

“Yeah, sure.” Dale got up, unlocked the door, and sat back at his desk, pulling up the essay he was working on on the screen.

Dad came in and sat on the bed. “I wanted to know how things were going with your mother.”

Dale pivoted his chair and faced his father. “Why do you think I want to stay here this week, Dad?”

“That bad, huh?”

“Yeah. She won’t talk to me, and she looks at me like she doesn’t know me anymore. It’s hard to see.”

“She’ll come around.”

“I don’t know, but it’s already been two weeks.”

“And she was under the impression you were straight for how many years?”

“But you were too, and you don’t seem to have a problem with me being with Ellis.”

Dad shrugged. “I know other people who are gay. It’s not as hard to accept, and I just want you to be happy.”

“I am. Well, except for Mom. Even Stephanie isn’t angry at me anymore.”

“So. I also wanted to make sure you know you have to protect yourself even with another guy. It’s not like Ellis can get pregnant, but I hope you know you have to wear condoms anyway.”

“Dad!”

“What?”

“I know that! I didn’t need you to remind me. Ugh.”

“Yes, well, I’d rather embarrass you than have you getting sick or something.”

“Dad, it’s not like I sleep with a lot of different guys.” Dale realized he’d basically admitted he did sleep with some, and he hurriedly added, “I mean, I’m with El, and we haven’t done anything yet, and he’s, well, he hasn’t done anything with anyone, so….”

“Doesn’t mean you can skip condoms.”

“I know, okay? Don’t worry about it.”

“Do you have some, or do I have to buy them for you?”

“Dad, do we really have to talk about this?”

“Just answer the question, Dale.”

“I have condoms, don’t worry.”

“Lube?”

“Dad!”

“You’re going to need it. Not that I have firsthand experience, but I did a little research after you told us you were bisexual.”

The thought his dad might have looked at the same websites Dale had read through made him want to hide under his comforter. “I kind of researched it too, so don’t worry. And can we never, ever talk about this again, please?”

“Yeah, okay. Just so you know, you can talk about anything with me, though. Okay?”

“Not sex.”

“Even sex. Even if it’s embarrassing or if you think it’s stupid or whatever. I want you to know I’m here for you if you need me.”

His father’s words made the distance Dale felt from his mother even more acute, but he was happier than he’d admit to hear them. It made him feel better and like he wouldn’t be alone no matter what. It felt good, especially after spending the past week at home with his mom.

“Thanks.”

Dale hesitated before leaning forward and hugging his dad. Dad’s arms went around Dale’s waist and held him close as they hugged. Dale patted his father’s shoulder a few times, then moved away.

“Oh, and if you two really have to have sex, you can do it here.”

“Dad!”

“Just make sure your sister isn’t here, and keep the volume down.”

“
Daaad
!” Dale whined.

“I’m serious, Dale. I know you’re eighteen and you’re bound to have sex with Ellis sooner rather than later. I’m also pretty sure you’re not a virgin.”

“I’m not answering that.”

“And I’m not asking for an answer. I’m just telling you I’d prefer you do it here rather than in your car or God knows where else.”

Dale shook his head. “How can you be so calm about this? I mean, even Ellis’s parents aren’t, and they already knew he was gay.”

“I don’t know if I’m calm. I don’t see why you liking boys should be a problem. Not everyone thinks that way.”

“I don’t know of many parents who tell their kids they can have sex at home.”

Dad clasped Dale’s shoulder. “I wish I’d had that opportunity when I was your age.”

“Oh, eww, don’t make me think about you having sex, Dad!”

“Well, you didn’t just materialize into this world, you know.”

“Dad! I think I need brain bleach.”

Dad laughed and rose from Dale’s bed. “I mean it, Dale. Talk to me, for whatever you need.” Dale smiled and nodded. “Okay. I’ll be in the living room. Oh, and I expect Ellis to come by for dinner sometime this week.”

“I’ll tell him.”

“You do that, son.”

Chapter Fourteen

“EL?”

Ellis frowned at Anna’s voice, but maybe it was just the connection that was bad. “What’s up? We saw each other a few hours ago at school.”

“You should check Facebook.”

Ellis cocked his head to the side and tucked the phone between cheek and shoulder. He grabbed his laptop from the desk and put it in front of him on the bed, then opened it and turned it on. “Why?”

“Mark.”

Ellis knew it couldn’t be good, not if Mark was involved. “What did he do?”

“He followed you when you went on your date with Dale.”

“He
what
?”

“He took some pictures and posted them on Facebook.”

Ellis’s eyes went wide, and he quickly opened his browser, then his Facebook page. There were already posts on his wall, and most of them weren’t nice. “Does Dale…?”

“I don’t know. I called you as soon as I saw them.”

“Yeah, okay. Thanks. I need to hang up and call him, okay?”

“Yeah. I’m sorry, El.”

“It’s not your fault.” Except it was, at least a bit, but Ellis wasn’t about to tell her. Ellis knew Mark had heard Anna that day in the classroom, when Ellis had told her about having a boyfriend. She had meant well, but Ellis should’ve known Mark wouldn’t let it go.

“I’m still sorry. Call me later, okay?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I will.”

Ellis hung up without saying good-bye. He typed Mark’s name into the search bar and clicked on the guy’s picture. Once on Mark’s profile, it wasn’t hard to find the pictures. There were three of them, all on top of his feed, and each of them had dozens of likes and comments already.

Ellis stared at them. One wasn’t very clear and had obviously been taken in the theater. The other two were of Dale and Ellis in front of Ellis’s house, which meant Mark had followed them around. Knowing for sure creeped Ellis out.

Mark had been there, in front of his house, probably hidden in his car and spying on Ellis and Dale while they kissed. Had he left after Dale had, or had he stayed to spy on Ellis a bit more?

Ellis looked out his window. He sprang up and closed the curtains. His heart beat like crazy at the thought Mark could be out there, watching him. He grabbed his phone from the bed and sat on the edge of the mattress, then dialed Dale’s number. His eyes kept straying to the laptop screen, and he’d never been more grateful when the screen blacked out after a few seconds.

“El?”

“Dale, I’m so, so sorry.”

“What’s wrong?”

“Where are you?”

“I just finished practice. I’m on my way home.”

“Mark followed us the other day. He took pictures and posted them on Facebook.” It came out in a stream of words Ellis couldn’t have stopped even if he’d wanted to.

“Wait, slow down. What did Mark do?”

“He followed us the other night, when we went out. He took pictures of us in the theater and in front of my house. Pictures where we’re kissing and hugging. Then he posted them on Facebook.”

“Shit.”

“Yeah. Look, we can stop being friends for a while, until people stop caring. You can say you were experimenting or something, or that it was a bet.”

“El, what are you talking about?”

“I’m trying to find a way to, I don’t know, limit the damage or something.”

“And you think we can do that by denying we’re together?”

“You’ll be fine. No one will believe you’re really gay, not after Stephanie.”

“El, stop being stupid.”

“What?”

“I’m not going to deny we’re together.”

Ellis gaped. “What? Why not?”

“Why should I?”

“Because things are going to be bad if you don’t. You should see some of the comments.”

Dale growled. “I can imagine. I suggest you stop reading them.”

“Yeah, okay, but—”

“No buts, El. Close the browser.”

Ellis huffed and brought his laptop back to life. He looked at the pictures again and bit his lower lip. “What are we going to do?”

“I’m coming over. We’ll talk when I get there.”

“Yeah, okay. I’ll tell Mom I’m expecting you.”

They ended the call, and Ellis went in search of his mother. She was in her room, getting ready for work. “Mom?”

“Hey, hon. Don’t worry, I froze a batch of lasagna the last time I cooked it and told your father to heat that for dinner tonight.”

“Oh, nice. Can Dale come over for a bit?”

“Is he staying for dinner?”

“I don’t know.”

“Just let your father know, and remember it’s a school night.”

“Thanks, Mom.”

Ellis went back to his room, but he couldn’t stay still. He sat on his bed only to get up and start pacing. He looked at the window every few seconds, but it didn’t bring Dale faster, and of course there were no signs of Mark.

When he finally saw Dale’s car pull up in front of the house, he ran to the stairs and hurried down. He was already opening the front door when Dale was only locking the car.

“Hi.”

Dale stepped inside and waited until Ellis had closed the door to hug him tight and kiss him. “Hey. How are you?”

“Creeped out, mostly. Come on, let’s go upstairs.”

Ellis stopped at his mom’s bedroom door just long enough to tell her Dale was there. She smiled at him. “Tell your dad about dinner, and if you’re about to have sex please wait until I’m out of the house, okay?”