A Good Enough Reason (26 page)

Ellis shifted and let Dale curl his arm around his shoulders while he put his cheek on Dale’s chest. His heart was still beating a little fast, mirroring Ellis’s.

“So, how was your first gay experience?” Ellis couldn’t help it; he needed to know Dale was fine with what they’d done.

“It was great. What, did you expect another answer?”

Ellis smiled. “I don’t know. I’m not exactly what you’re used to.”

“Hey. You might not be what I’m used to, but it doesn’t mean I don’t like it. I wouldn’t be with you if I didn’t.”

Ellis kissed Dale’s chest. “I know. Sorry.”

“S’okay. You’re cute when you’re worried.”

Ellis looked up and stuck his tongue out. “I’m not cute. I’m incredibly handsome.”

“And cute. Don’t try to deny it, or I’ll have to tickle you again.”

“Fine, I’m cute.”

They were silent for a little while, until Dale asked, “So, when can we do that again?”

Chapter Sixteen

ELLIS WAS
still walking on a little cloud and riding the high of his budding relationship with Dale. He’d almost forgotten the appointment his parents had with the principal—almost, but not quite.

“Are you sure you don’t know what this is about?”

Ellis bit his lower lip and avoided answering. “You’ll know soon enough, Mom.”

“At least tell me if you did something bad.”

Mom looked worried, so Ellis shook his head. “I didn’t do anything, I promise.”

They were already in the car and driving toward the school., and his dad would meet them there.

Ellis’s phone pinged, and he smiled as he read Dale’s message.

Already there?

No.

Ok. Let me know.

Of course.

They parked and Ellis was surprised to see his father was already there. He looked as worried as Mom, and Ellis felt guilty. Of what, he wasn’t sure. Maybe he shouldn’t have told Mr. Shea about Mark, but Dale was right—Mark was getting creepier, and Ellis was kind of worried. At this point, he’d rather have his parents worry a bit than go through whatever passed through Mark’s mind.

They made their way to the principal’s office and were ushered in. Ellis froze and regretted everything as soon as he saw Mark and the man and woman who had to be his parents already sitting in the office. Mark’s parents looked furious, and Mark’s expression was stony, but as soon as he saw Ellis, it transformed into anger. He didn’t say anything, though, and Ellis sat between his mom and his dad.

He feebly smiled back at Mr. Shea and wished Dale or Anna was there.

“Has Ellis told you why you’re here?” Mr. Shea asked Ellis’s parents. They both shook their heads, and Mr. Shea looked at Ellis. “Do you want to tell them or should I do it?”

“You, please.” There was no way Ellis would be able to recount everything again. Once had been enough.

Ellis kept his attention on his mom as Mr. Shea talked. He saw her turn pale and her jaw tighten. She blindly reached for Ellis without taking her eyes off Mr. Shea, and Ellis took her hand, incredibly relieved at the strong, soothing presence she was next to him.

“And no one realized what was happening?” Ellis’s dad asked from his other side.

“We have thousands of students in this school. As much as we’d like to see everything, we can’t,” the principal said.

“So what are you going to do now?”

“We already talked to Mark and his parents. He’ll be suspended for a week.”

“That’s all?” Dad’s voice was rising, and Ellis reached for him. Dad looked at Ellis, and it felt like a punch in the gut. His eyes were hard, and he was angry, but there also was anguish reflected on his face, and Ellis knew he’d been the one to put it there.

“Mark assaulted my son. He deserves more than a suspension,” Mom said.

The principal looked uncomfortable. “Nothing happened, Mrs. Aylmer. Ellis told us about it, and while it’s true things have gone further than what I’d call a normal bullying, Mark didn’t actually touch Ellis. There’s nothing more we can do.” He looked at Mark as he spoke, but Mark didn’t react.

Mark’s father cleared his throat. “I’m sorry. We had no idea Mark was doing this.”

“He followed Ellis around and took pictures,” Dad pointed out.

“We’re aware of that. You could ask for a restraining order, of course, but we’d appreciate if you didn’t. The principal suspended Mark, and we’ll punish him too, of course. “ Mark’s father looked overwhelmed and shocked, and Ellis felt bad for him. It wasn’t his fault Mark did what he did.

“I can’t say how much I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Ellis said, keeping his eyes on the man. He wasn’t going to look at Mark, nope. “It was kind of my fault too.”

“It wasn’t,” Ellis’s mom said forcefully.

“No, wait, that didn’t come out right. I know it wasn’t my fault, but I should have said something sooner. I shouldn’t have let it get out of hand this way. I’m fine with the suspension, just the suspension. Really.”

Ellis’s parents didn’t look convinced. “Please. I want to put everything behind me and enjoy the rest of my senior year.”

Ellis’s dad nodded reluctantly. “Fine. But if anything else happens, if he so much as looks at you the wrong way….”

“I’ll tell you right away.”

“Okay, fine.”

The principal and Mark’s parents looked relieved. Mark, though, looked as angry as before, if not more, but he didn’t say anything. Ellis knew he’d have to look out when Mark came back to school. The principal might think a suspension had been enough, but Ellis knew Mark. He’d find some other way to torment Ellis.

But for now Ellis had one whole carefree week in front of him. He was going to enjoy it.

ELLIS’S PARENTS
left, and he went to AP English. Dale was waiting for him in front of the classroom and beamed when he saw him. “Hey. How’d it go?”

Ellis sighed. “As well as I expected.”

“So?”

They entered the classroom and took their seats. Mr. Shea wasn’t there yet, but then Ellis had left him in the principal’s office with Mark and his parents. “Mark’s suspended for a week.”

Ellis hadn’t told Dale about what had happened in the bathroom yet, and he knew his boyfriend would be seething if he knew what Mark might have been about to do. But he didn’t, so he nodded.

“That’s good.”

“Yeah. At least I’m going to have a nice week, and his parents said they’d punish him some more.”

“Maybe it’ll be enough to make him back off.”

Ellis and Dale both knew it was unlikely, but it was easy to pretend. So Ellis nodded and smiled. “Yeah, maybe.”

He could feel eyes on him, on them, but no one said anything. Them being together was already old news, and the students had gone on to other, juicier gossip, but there was still the odd person who looked at them and even asked questions. Not that Ellis answered, of course, but it didn’t seem to matter.

Ellis jumped when Dale took his hand. He looked at his boyfriend, then at the other students, and leaned closer. “You’re holding my hand in public.”

“So?”

“They’re going to talk even more.”

Dale shrugged. “Who cares?”

They’d avoided any kind of PDA after the day they’d been outed, but it hadn’t stopped the gossip. Maybe Dale was right—who cared about what other people thought? They already knew Dale and Ellis were together. It wasn’t like them holding hands would change that.

Mr. Shea walked into the classroom and closed the door. He looked at Ellis and noticed his and Dale’s clasped hands, but he didn’t say anything. He just nodded and smiled before starting his lesson.

Chapter Seventeen

MARK WAS
back.

The week had gone by as fast as any week did, but Ellis hadn’t forgotten it was only a reprieve. He’d almost expected Mark to pound on him as soon as their paths crossed, but he didn’t, and it was almost scarier.

Ellis knew Mark was observing him. He could feel the guy’s eyes on him when they had classes together, and Mark always seemed to be there even if he shouldn’t have. It couldn’t be good, but Ellis kept his mouth shut.

Mark wasn’t doing anything. He didn’t even talk to Ellis now, but it didn’t mean Ellis didn’t feel threatened. He did his best to avoid Mark, and most of all, to never, ever, be alone with him. He didn’t want the bathroom scene to repeat itself.

But after a few days, when nothing happened, Ellis started to relax. That was when Mark cornered him.

It was just after Ellis’s Fiction Writing class. He was one of the last to leave the classroom because he’d needed to talk to Mr. Shea about his assignment. The school was empty and silent, and some of the lights were already off, so Ellis quickly made his way to his locker to grab the books he’d need to do his homework. He was closing it when someone pushed him from behind. He slammed into the cold metal, and his breath whooshed out of his lungs.

“What the—”

“I can’t believe you talked.”

Ellis froze. The uneasy peace between him and Mark was over, and he wasn’t happy with Ellis. “I was scared.”

Mark grabbed the back of Ellis’s neck and pulled him around before slamming his back into the lockers. “And you should be. Anything I’ve done to you before will feel like a cuddle after I’m done with you.”

“Mark, please, don’t—”

“Shut up, Aylmer.” Mark pulled Ellis away from the locker and dragged him along the hallway. Ellis’s mind was going like crazy as he tried to find a way out, but he couldn’t think over the panic of what Mark was about to do.

“Help!”

Mark stopped and punched Ellis in the face. “Shut up. There’s no one here anyway.”

Pain exploded in Ellis’s cheek, and he moaned. He raised a hand to touch his cheek, but Mark was tugging on him again. Ellis knew he was right—the only person still in the school was Mr. Shea, and his classroom was nowhere near Ellis’s locker.

Mark shouldered the bathroom door open and pushed Ellis inside. Ellis fell on his knees and put his hands ahead to stop his fall. Pain shot through his wrist and up his arm, and Ellis crumbled down. He was crying, pain pulsing both in his face and in his arm.

Mark pushed him, and Ellis fell on his side. Mark used his foot to turn Ellis on his back and went down on his knees. His hands were already on his belt, unbuckling it. Ellis tried to scramble away. He pushed himself up with his good arm and winced, but Mark was already there.

“Where do you think you’re going?”

He’d managed to open his jeans, but thankfully he was still covered by his boxers. Ellis could see he was hard, though, and it scared him enough for him to start crying silently. He pushed Mark’s hands away, but Mark wrapped his hand on Ellis’s hurt wrist and tugged.

Ellis yelled in pain and slumped down on the cold linoleum. “Do you really want to go to jail? Is raping me worth it?” Ellis yelled, anger taking over. He wouldn’t just stay there and let Mark do whatever he wanted without reacting.

He’d felt helpless that day in the bathroom, and maybe he was, but he wouldn’t go down easily, not this time. “You’re a bastard, Mark! What the fuck have I done to you? Why do you hate me so much? Tell me!”

Ellis panted as he realized Mark wasn’t moving anymore. He’d managed to hike Ellis’s T-shirt and sweater up his torso to expose the waist of his jeans, and he’d snapped the button open, but he wasn’t moving anymore.

Ellis looked at Mark but couldn’t read his expression. He scooted back carefully, unwilling to break the spell Mark seemed to be under. Mark’s hands slipped from Ellis’s jeans and fell on Mark’s thighs. The only sound in the room was Ellis’s heavy breathing and the sound of his sneakers squeaking on the linoleum as he moved away.

He pressed his back into a corner and got up. Mark chose that moment to start moving, and Ellis froze. “Are you… are you going to do it? To r-rape me?”

Mark shook his head, never looking at Ellis. He moved choppily, closing his jeans again and buckling his belt.

Ellis wanted to run, but he was afraid it was all a trick, a way to make him think he was safe just so Mark could hurt him again. He couldn’t stay there, though. He couldn’t stay near Mark.

Ellis straightened his clothes as he slowly walked around Mark. His heart was beating so hard he could almost hear it. He held his breath, and just as he put his hand on the door handle, Mark spoke.

“I’m sorry.”

Ellis froze. What could he say to that?

“Why? Why did you do it? What have I done to you to earn all this? We never even talked.”

Ellis was breathing hard, and both his wrist and his face hurt, but he needed that answer. He needed to know why Mark had targeted him, because he still had no clue. He’d never done anything to Mark.

Mark moved, and Ellis tensed. He angled his body to be able to see what was happening, but after Mark got up, he pushed his hands in his pockets and didn’t move again. “I
wanted
you to talk to me.”

“You wanted me to talk to you? And you thought bullying me was a good way to get me to do that?”

“No. Look, I’m sorry. I didn’t want to hurt you. It’s just that you never noticed me. Then you got with Dale, and I lost it.”

Ellis’s eyes widened as something clicked in the back of his mind. It was almost too absurd to be true. “Are you saying you wanted me to get with you rather than with Dale?” Mark nodded. “Are you gay, Mark?”

“Yeah.”

“And you tried to hide it by bullying me?” It actually explained a lot of things, but Ellis still couldn’t believe it was the reason Mark had acted that way.

“Yeah.”

“Why are you hiding it?”

Mark snorted. “I can’t come out.”

“Why not?”

“I’m on the football team. I don’t want people to think I can’t play football because I like dick.”

Ellis cringed at Mark’s words. “Dale plays soccer, and no one thinks he can’t do it. He’s one of the best players on the team.”

“That’s soccer. It’s not the same. I can’t be weak. No one would let me play.”

Ellis finally released the handle. He stayed right at the door, though, in case he needed to make a quick escape. “So you think being gay means you’re weak? Maybe that you’re less of a man? Is that what you think of me and Dale?”