A Hero to Dance With Me (4 page)

Nothing was going the way Steve had envisioned. He was more shocked that Jezelle was possibly pregnant than anything else, but he really hadn’t expected his mother to actually strike him. Or for her to burst into tears. He was torn between trying to comfort his mother or Jezelle. The decision was made for him when Jezelle crumpled into his father’s arms.

Steve lunged for her, reaching her just as his father lifted her into his arms, holding Jezelle’s slight form against his much larger frame. Steve and Leland locked gazes. For the first time in his life, Steve saw unadulterated anger and intense disappointment directed at him. He and his brothers had all gotten into trouble their fair share of times but, no matter what they’d done, there was always that invisible line that was never crossed. He didn’t have to see the look on his father’s face or hear his mother’s quiet sobs as she stroked hair away from Jezelle’s delicate features to know he’d not only crossed that line, he’d obliterated it. Without a word, Leland relinquished Jezelle to Steve then enfolded Vivian in his arms as she cried into his chest.

It had taken Steve a couple of days to realize he might have overreacted. Just a little. It had taken another couple of weeks to realize how much he wanted to see Jezelle again, but he hadn’t been in a position to act on it. He hadn’t invited her to the family get-together because he had no idea what he would say to her or even if she’d still want to see him. Besides, the cookout had been in those first days when he was still panicked. Then, when he’d settled back into his routine on base, the gnawing feeling he’d given up something precious grew with alarming speed. Every night he’d woken up reaching for her. Every day he’d longed to see her lovely face. He’d thought about calling but had hung up the phone before it could ring. Since he hadn’t bothered to get her number, all he’d had was the restaurant’s. While her manager might be a good family friend, he might not take kindly to him making a date on company time. Besides, by then enough time had passed he wasn’t sure Jezelle would appreciate hearing from him, especially at work. Looking down at her face, the dark circles prominent under her eyes even through her dark complexion, Steve had never regretted anything more in his life.

Her lids fluttered open and those lovely dark brown eyes met his. The depth of her pain nearly drove him to his knees.

“Put me down,” she whispered. “I don’t want you near me.”

“Just let me get you somewhere you can lie down and rest. Do you want me to take you to the hospital?”

“No,” she hiccupped. “I just want to go back to work.”

“Don’t worry about that, sweetheart,” Leland responded to her with a soothing voice. He stood over her in front of Steve, his hand going to her forehead. Much as he’d done when any of the boys had been sick as children. “I’ve taken care of everything. Your job is safe. Everyone just wants you to get better.”

“I’m fine,” she insisted. “Let me down.”

“Please, child,” Vivian pleaded through her tears. “Just let me take you home so you can rest for a while where I know you have someone to help you if you need it. It would ease my mind and I wouldn’t worry so much.”

Steve could see Jezelle wanted to refuse but couldn’t quite tell his mother no. Vivian always had that effect and for once Steve was grateful for it. He could also feel his father’s eyes boring into him. Hell would be coming for Steve later. He was certain of that.

With a sigh, Jezelle nodded, relaxing a little against him. He looked around and saw the entire family watching with a mixture of curiosity, shock, and a couple of grins—those coming from Rick and Chase. Like his father, Mike...wasn’t smiling. At all.

“I’ll get the car,” Mike said. Lord, when his dad and Mike got hold of him, Steve was in for a beating. Well, he’d take it like a man. They obviously thought he needed it. Maybe he did.

Once in the backseat of his father’s Expedition, Steve settled Jezelle into the seat next to him. He fastened her seatbelt and draped an arm over her shoulders, pulling her resisting form against his side.

“Just because I’m trying to be nice to your mother doesn’t mean I have to let you touch me,” she said coldly. “Don’t.”

“Jezelle, please--”

“I said,” she bit out through clenched teeth, “let. Me. Go.”

With a sigh, Steve reluctantly complied, moving his arm to lay it across the back of the seat. She sat staring straight ahead as if she were riding to her execution. She didn’t want to be here and he’d put her in this position with his callous attitude toward her. By disappearing from her life, he might have fucked any chances he’d had at a future with her.

“I’m sorry, baby,” he said. “I’ll try my best to explain later, but I know what a huge mistake I made.”

“You don’t have to explain anything to me,” she said softly, no emotion reflecting in her once emotion-laden voice. She seemed to be going from one extreme to the other, a sure sign his mother’s suspicion was correct. It could be stress, but combine everything else with it and it added up to their one night of passion yielding a very unexpected present.

“But I want to.”

She turned her head to look at him. “Why? Why would you want to explain? To make me feel better about you just up and leaving without even saying goodbye? So I know you’re not a complete jerk? Or how about so you might have a chance to win me back and get back in your family’s good graces, especially if there’s a child involved?”

“Some of that. Maybe.” He scrubbed his hand over his face and through his hair. “I just want that…connection I felt with you again. I need it.”

“So it’s all about your wants. Your needs,” she retorted, crossing her arms over her chest. “What about my need to be left alone to figure all this out? I don’t even know for sure if there is a baby. What if I’ve just caught a bug? Will you still feel the same way knowing you’re not leaving defenseless little ole me to raise your precious child all by myself?”

Vivian’s breath caught in her throat and Jezelle closed her eyes. “I’m sorry, Mrs. Carver,” she said quietly.

“You have nothing to be sorry for. None of this is your fault.” Vivian shot Steve a scathing glance.

“It takes two to tango, ma’am,” Jezelle said. “At the risk of sounding crass—and I truly mean no disrespect—but I was so caught up in the moment I didn’t insist on a condom, so I’m just as much at fault as Steve.”

“Leland taught all our boys to respect their mother,” Vivian said, turning in her seat to look at Jezelle. “I taught them to respect women in general. We both taught them that part of respecting a woman meant protecting her in all things. Including sex.” She glanced at Steve again and scowled. “Apparently, neither of us made much of an impression on this particular son.” Vivian threw him another glance before facing front again.

“Mom…” When Vivian gave him “the hand,” Steve shut his mouth and sat back. Were his parents being unreasonable? He was a grown-ass man, after all. Truth was, they weren’t treating him any differently than he was himself inside. The only difference was, it hurt worse coming from them.

Once they pulled into the big house where his parents lived, Steve helped Jezelle out of the SUV. He’d have carried her inside, but when he reached for her, Jezelle gave him a look so venomous he nearly stepped back. Yeah. Long way to go to win her back. But looking down at her, remembering the feel of her naked body in his arms, the thought of her belly growing round with his child… Steve knew he’d do whatever it took. He’d win Jezelle’s heart. Even if he had to crawl to hell and back on his hands and knees.

The room Elle had been given use of was spacious and very comfortable. Plush carpeting massaged her bare feet as she walked from the adjoining bathroom to the bed. Mrs. Carver had fed her while the daughters-in-law had brought her necessities. When asked if Jezelle needed anything from her apartment, Jezelle had automatically said no. She’d had no intention of staying more than a couple of hours--just long enough to pacify Mrs. Carver. As a result, the two women had bought her a comfortable, stylish T-shirt and some yoga pants, as well as a change of underwear. And toiletries. She’d cringed to open that bag, knowing what she’d find. When the obligatory home pregnancy test was absent, she decided maybe she needed to rethink this family’s kindness. If this had all been about the baby, wouldn’t they want to at least know if there even was a baby?

With a sigh, she sat on the edge of the bed. She’d nap for a couple of hours then leave. She’d explain that she’d take a pregnancy test and go to her OB if it was positive. She had no intention of keeping the child from his father’s family if they wanted it that way. Maybe then, Mrs. Carver would get off Steve’s back and Steve would leave her alone.

Just as she was about to lie down, there was a knock at the door and Steve opened it slowly before she could even open her mouth. So much for privacy.

“Steve--”

“I know,” he said. “You don’t want me here. I understand that and I’ll respect it. Just let me get you settled. Is that too much to ask?” He looked tired. No doubt his family had been giving him hell with her not in earshot.

“Fine,” she said, just wanting to lie down so she could get this over with. She turned her back to him. “Do what you have to do so I can get out of here.”

There was a pause before the bed dipped at her back. He pulled a warm blanket over her, tucking her in as carefully as he might a sleeping child. Why did that make her want to cry?

“Do you want to be away from my family, or is it just me?” Steve asked, his voice quiet. He sounded faintly hurt. Not that Elle cared.

“It’s both. Your family is so saintly they make the Cleavers look like devil worshipers.”

Steve barked a laugh before responding. “I suppose looking at it from your point of view they would. One thing Mom and Dad taught us early on was that they’d take our side. But if we were dead wrong, they’d tell us that too.”

“Doesn’t feel like they’ve taken your side in any of this. Which makes me distinctly uncomfortable.”

“That’s because they know I was dead wrong to have left you like I did. Also, because they see something in you they know belongs with me. Which makes you feel like family to them.”

“No,” she said, turning to look at him, hoping she gave him her fiercest expression. “I don’t. Leave now, please.” Surprisingly, all Steve did was sigh before getting up and leaving the room quietly.

Left alone with her thoughts, Elle cried silently. The whole world had gone completely nuts. At least this particular family had. She wanted to dislike them all, but found it impossible. All of them had been nothing but nice to her. She couldn't be mad at them because Steve was an asshole. If she made it through this horrible night with her sanity intact, she’d be amazed. Whether she liked it or not, Vivian was right. Elle needed rest desperately. It had been weeks since she’d had a really good night’s sleep. If nothing else, a long nap would do her good. With that last thought, she closed her eyes and sleep claimed her almost instantly.

*****

Steve sat with his back to the wall outside Elle’s door. She didn’t want him inside, but he couldn’t bring himself to leave her completely. How many times had he sat in this very position watching a team member’s back? Somehow, it had never seemed this important. So far, she’d been asleep off and on for three hours. In that time, Steve hadn’t moved from his spot beside her door.

The time he’d stood vigil had given him time to think. To reflect on life and what he wanted out of it. Truth was, he wanted what his parents had. As if his mother had heard his thoughts, she appeared from around the corner carrying two mugs of her famous, steaming hot chocolate.

Sitting down beside him, she handed Steve a cup. “Has she stirred at all?” As he remembered from when he was sick as a child, Vivian’s voice was a soothing blend of calm, quiet, and lulling. She had a way of speaking when she needed to that seemed to put a person at ease, to let them know everything would be all right. Before today, he’d never really known she could also cut a person to shreds with a completely different tone of voice.

“A time or two. Dreams, I guess. She always settles down before too long so I’ve let her be. She doesn’t want me there.” Damn if he didn’t sound forlorn. But hell. This was his mother. She already knew everything he was feeling anyway. Always had.

“Oh, I doubt it’s as bad as all that. She needs you to make her want you again.” When Steve opened his mouth to speak, Vivian held up her hand. “Not in a sexual way. Just your presence. Like when you danced.”

“How do you know about that dance? You weren’t even there.”

She smiled. “Your brothers. The girls. All of them claim never to have seen you so smitten with a woman. If Jezelle hadn’t wanted your presence then, I sincerely doubt she’d have gone with you later. No one wants you to fall on your sword to make amends, least of all Jezelle. Just be the man she fell in love with.”

“You don’t know she loved me.”

His mother smiled. “She loves you. At least, she wants to.” She sighed as she started to stand. “Unfortunately, you made that a bit difficult.”

“You and Dad fell in love nearly at first sight,” Steve pressed, needing her presence a little while longer but not wanting to ask her to stay. “How did you know?”

Vivian settled again, tilting her head as if thinking. “I’m not sure either of us could explain that, sweetheart. We fell in love at first sight, then he tried to kiss me without my permission. I kneed him in the privates and we fell out of love just as quickly.” She chuckled, obviously remembering the whole event. “Then he settled down to court me properly and we married less than a year later.”

“I don’t think we have what you and Dad have. It’s just…”

“Too soon? Steve. I knew the moment I met your father I would marry him. There would be no other man who could even come close to him. You can’t put a time limit on love. It either happens or it doesn’t. Sometimes it takes years to grow, other times it jumps up and slaps you in the face. Hard.” She patted his knee as she stood. “You think about that, sweetheart. I know she turned your world upside down, but I think you know in your heart she’s the one for you. Make her realize it too.” With that parting advice, Vivian left him alone in the hallway with a mug of hot chocolate to think.

Damn. Usually talks with his mother when he was in trouble put things into perspective. Helped him focus when he couldn’t see circumstances the way he needed to. This time she’d been far from helpful. She was supposed to tell him everything would work out on its own, that he had a bright future in the Navy if he just focused. Teams was all he knew. He’d been a SEAL for more than half his service and he was seriously considering giving it all up in order to be with this woman. Did his mother realize that? What about his father? How would they react?

Setting the hot chocolate beside him, Steve scrubbed his hands through his hair to settle on his neck. Knees resting on his elbows, he stayed like that. His brothers had finished their stints in the military and found work in civilian life that suited them. Could he? All he knew—or wanted to know—was combat. Tactics. Military life suited him. Being away from Jezelle...wouldn’t. He’d already proven that the few weeks he’d tried to forget her. And that after only one night. Before he’d realized they might have a living, breathing tie to each other. Could he look into the eyes of his son and not be reminded of her? Did he even want to be?

So, it came down to what he wanted most. And what he wanted most depended on what Jezelle would let him have. He wasn’t a man who asked for anything. If he wanted something, he took it. Unfortunately, he was past that. He took Jezelle before, then threw her away. Now, he’d have to work for her.